Sunday, February 22, 2015
The Whistleblower Week in Review
MONDAY (February 16), in our Another “Invented National Holiday” E-dition, The Blower said, “We’re Surprised They’re Not Calling it “Obama’s Day!”
TUESDAY (February 17), in our Official “Post President’s Day Depression” E-dition, The Blower said, “It Was Thanks to the “Monday Holidays Act.”
WEDNESDAY (February 18), in our Special “Ash Wednesday” Edition The Blower asked, “Are Most Americans Giving Up Hope For Lent?!”
THURSDAY (February 19), in our Annual “Chinese New Year” E-dition The Blower said, “We Were Partying Like It Was Still 4711!”
FRIDAY (February 20) in our “Just Another Guest Column E-dition, The Blower said, “The Clermont County Republican Party Was Not Ready for the National News!”
AND SATURDAY (February 21) in our Official “Washington’s Birthday” E-dition, The Blower asked, “Did Congress Have to Approve GW’s Troop Surge?”
Also on Saturday, we had to send out an e-mail advising Persons of Consequence home delivery of their printed copies might be delayed because of a few snowflakes, since for once the weather guessers on TV were actually right Friday night, and our delivery dwarf we’ll call Andy said he won’t be able to get to your front door until all you inconsiderate bastards shovel your damn driveways.
This Week’s Top Stories
OUR NUMBER ONE OBAMA TURNING A BLIND EYE TO ISIS STORY THIS WEEK was when the Obama called for a global effort to combat violent extremism and urged countries around the world to address the “root causes” that fuel groups like ISIS and al Qaeda during a speech Thursday before hundreds of foreign officials gathered for a summit on supporting violent extremism.
OUR NUMBER TWO OBAMA TURNING A BLIND EYE TO ISIS STORY THIS WEEK was when Retired four-star Admiral James “Ace” Lyons spoke out against the Obama administration’s policy to defeat Islamic terrorism:
Regarding the best way to regard ‘radical’ Islamic terrorism, he said: “Islam is Islam. There are no modifiers. Democracy is the train we ride to our ultimate objective…Until you recognize that Islam is a political movement masquerading as a religion, you’re never going to come to grips with it.”
He especially laid into the Obama administration, calling their strategy “anti-American” and “pro-Muslim Brotherhood.” He said: “The Obama administration has a strategy; It’s very simple. Any thinking American should be able to grasp it. It’s anti-American, anti-Western; It’s pro-Islamic, it’s pro-Iranian and pro-Muslim Brotherhood.”
AND OUR NUMBER STUPID THREE OBAMA TURNING A BLIND EYE TO ISIS STORY THIS WEEK was when Stupid State Department Spokesbimbo Marie Harf announced the Obama Administration’s Plan to combat ISIS: “Jobs for Jihadists.” Harf wrote her college honors thesis on “how conservative evangelical support for Israel complicates U.S. foreign policy.” Sound like another over-the-top Saturday Night Live sketch to us.
Not that any of those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, would give a big rat’s ass!
Edward Cropper’s World
Today PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFER EDWARD CROPPER shows us a revised picture of the Founding Fathers, after Obama ridiculously claimed Islam has been “woven into the fabric of our country since the founding.” You can see more of Mr. Cropper’s fine work HERE.
This Week’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda
Was when Fox News reported Conservative Republican Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani was on “The Kelly File” this week, where he doubled down on his comment that Obama “Does Not Love America? Megyn Kelly asked Giuliani: Do you want to apologize for your comment? “Not at all, I want to repeat it,” he said, charging Obama with apologizing for America and criticizing the country. Kelly pressed Giuliani, noting that Obama could view foreign policy through a DemocRAT lens. “But to condemn his patriotism, to question his love of America?” she asked. “I don’t hear from him what I heard from Harry Truman, what I heard from Bill Clinton, what I heard from Jimmy Carter, which is these wonderful words about what a great country we are, what an exceptional country we are,” Giuliani said. He stressed, “I’m right about this. I have no doubt about it. I do not withdraw my words.”
Other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, DemocRATS In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards.
Clermont County Chronicles
Is it true that Buffalo Dave Uible and the organizers of the Clermont County Lincoln-Reagan-Uible Day dinner took a bath on the event because they did not sell enough tickets or get enough corporate sponsorships? We’re told businesses were afraid of contributing because of the instability and divisions within the Clermont GOP. Maybe that’s why no elected officials from Milford or Miami Township attended the dinner. It doesn’t help that the Central Committee’s defining moment has been sending a letter to “Bronze Star Brad” telling him they plan to defeat him just like they did “Mean Jean.” Of course, insiders know that will never happen since Buffalo Dave is in Brad’s back pocket. After all, it was Buffalo Dave’s daughter who interned at Bronze Star’s office. Speaking of “Mean Jean,” many noticed she also failed to attend the dinner along with several other non-TEA Party supporting elected officials.
You can see more coverage of the disappointing Clermont County Republican Party’s Lincoln-Reagan-Uible Day dinner in Friday’s Blower.
Did Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane actually personally attend Tuesday night’s long-awaited Lincoln Reagan Uible Day Dinner featuring Conservative Kentucky Senator Rand Paul? You bet! Since The Blower is the publication of record for all the political scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing in Clermont County, our readers know to expect nothing less.
Plus, where else could Kane be up close and personal with Clermont County’s next sheriff, have Laura Hoyer snap a picture of him being begged for The Blower’s endorsement by a 2016 Presidential wannabe, or pose for a homoerotic photograph with an Ohio Supreme Court Candidate?
Speaking of “Her Meanness,” missing from this Feckless Fishwrappery about Portman Confidant Barry Bennett forming a Super PAC to help “Rob “Fighting For His Life” Portman from facing a primary challenge from the right? Perhaps it’s that Bennett is not only a Portman Confidant, but the former Chief of Staff for Jean Schmidt. Readers may recall it was under Bennett’s leadership that Schmidt got embroiled in a controversy involving accepting all that money from apologists for those Murdering Muslim Turks, she still has no intention of ever paying back.
And of course, Feckless Fishwrapper Deirdre Shesgreen confidently forgot to mention how Bennett was behind that anti-Romney hit piece “When Romney Came to Town.” But The Blower didn’t!
Racial Healing Update
This week, the Business Crapper reported on a FOX19 item that Cincinnati City Clown-cil had voted not to foreclose on Mahogany’s deadbeat owner Liz Rogers during #If Black Lives Really Mattered History Month Seems our Politically Correct Clown-cil declined the motion despite Rogers’ failure to repay over-taxed payer-funded loans that helped fund her really terrible soul food restaurant at the Banks. Mahogany’s closed its doors at the Banks in September. Soon after, Rogers asked the city to make a deal with her to forgive the loans in order to avoid a legal battle. The request was denied. City records show Rogers has not made a payment on her $300,000 loan from over-taxed payers since last July. She still owes over-taxed payers $283,869, according to city documents related to her Affirmative Action loan.
The Feck Stops Here
Metro Mole says the reign of Margaret the Terrible is finally over. She can call it a retirement all she wants, but this was not a chapter in her career planning playbook. Knowing that she was unfit to work for a company with actual growth prospects, Maggie (she hates being called Maggie, so how’s this MAGGIE?) resigned herself to coasting out as top dog of her doggerel-filled hometown paper and enjoying a false sense of esteem in her business and country club cliques. Her legacy will be the chasing off of readers left and right (politically speaking) and the outsourcing of everything from news reporting, editing, customer service and even the printing of the damned paper, now shrunken to handy Sears catalog outhouse butt-wipe size. I can hear the church bells clanging from one side of town to the other. Kentucky’s church bells are ringing on max volume.
Covering up for its own failures has apparently now been officially added to The Fishwrap’s Liberal Agenda, along with PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Fanatical Feminists, Supporting Sodomy Rites, Global Warming: G-Uncontrol, Liberal Brainwashing In Schools, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, Scalping the Washington Redskins, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money.
But why should any of this surprise you? After all, don’t our Feckless Fishwrappers always say: It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made our area great, it’s our “Failed Feminism Diversity.”
Meanwhile, other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, DemocRATS In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards.
More Politics Unusual
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1732, George Washington, the Father of our Country was born. But shouldn’t we have a National Holiday to celebrate the occasion?
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose selected Washington’s “Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.” Do you think the Father of Our Country had Obama in mind?
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says this week the United States prides itself on being a nation of laws, not a nation of men. But a surprising number of voters are ready to override those laws in order to have their way. Obama’s Amnesty plan for Illegal Immigrants and his ObamaCare Calamity law both face legal challenges this year that could bring them to a halt. But one-in-four voters think the president should be able to ignore the courts if he wants to, and Dishonest DemocRATS believe that even more strongly. No wonder voter distrust in the federal government continues to climb. Only 20% now consider the government a protector of individual liberty, while 60% see it as a threat to liberty instead. [READ MORE HERE]
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Fallon’s “Jeb Bush gave a speech yesterday. He had a pretty rough time. He accidentally said that ISIS has 200,000 men instead of 20,000, and then he mispronounced the name of the terrorist group Boko Haram. So if history has taught us anything, Jeb is well on his way to winning the White House.” Conan O’Brien said,” “Yesterday during a speech on national security, Jeb Bush mispronounced Boko Haram and got confused between Iran and Iraq. When reached for comment, his brother George W. said, “He sure sounds presidentiary to me.” And David Letterman said, “Do you know who is ready to go with the presidential campaign? Jeb Bush. Jeb already has plans to end the war in Iraq that his brother started. All he needs is a hot tub time machine.”
MORE RACIAL HEALING: It’s as if we have forgotten why we celebrate Black History Month in the first place. Race Pimps Reverends Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson can’t stop complaining that there are only 28 days in February, making it the shortest month in the year. They want to move it to a 32-day month and accuse whitey of being racist.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” it it says instead of using the term “Liberal,” why not try “libtard?” It’s apt (liberal + retard = libtard), it’s highly offensive, and quite wonderfully not Politically Correct. What’s not to like?
GOING GALT means taking the John Galt Pledge. Let’s all say it together: “I swear by my life, and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.”
IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “SAME PLAY, DIFFERENT PLAYERS,“We learned about the time Patronage County Republicans took a day of sick leave and traveled to Columbus to welcome Richard M. Nixon to a Presidents’ Day fund-raiser. That op-ed column first appeared in the legendary Mt. Washington Press on February 18, 1981.
AND NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (THE ODIOUS OCTEGENARIAN): This poem appears in his “Sentimental Poems of Presidential Birthdays,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
Ode to Presidents’ Days
George Washington, your day is through.
Abe Lincoln, you are done.
Instead of honoring your birthdays,
We just have retail fun.
THE MUCK STOPS HERE: As blustery winter weather continues to cause hundreds of school closings across the Tri-state, Failed CPS Superintendent Mary “Money Bags” Ronan violated the Eighth Amendment prohibiting cruel and unusual punishment as she requires teachers and staff to report to work in frigid temps. Apparently she didn’t get the memo that many Failed CPS teachers already do not support the proposed levy this coming fall and why not just piss off the entire work force before a levy request!?
When chocolate covered bonbon eating Failed Cincinnati Federation of Teachers “president” Julie Sell Your Soul was asked from the comfort of her heated office with plush leather furniture for a comment, her response was, “tax payers appreciate the fact that teachers report to work on snow days.” News flash – no they don’t!
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says Reuters reported the Dow and S&P 500 ended at record highs on Friday while the Nasdaq notched an eighth straight day of gains after Greek and euro zone finance ministers reached a deal to extend heavily indebted Greece’s financial rescue by four months, and The Blower wonders what is it they always say about “what goes up?”
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others. The latest group Obama wants to give away all that “Free stuff” to are those poor, misunderstood yoofs in the Middle East who can’t wait to behead every man, woman and child is America, after The Spectator’s Andrew Wilson reported Obama took a break from the cares of high office this week by shooting imaginary hoops in the Oval Office— doing fist pumps every time he “scored.” Suddenly, it occurred to him that he had to do something more than hitting short or medium-range jumpers; something more, even, than nailing three’s from beyond the arc. With time running out, he stepped behind a potted plant at the edge of the office and let a shot fly from downtown directed at the wastebasket alongside his desk. In his mind’s eye, he sank the game-winner! “I’ve got it,” he told his aides. “This is what we will do. We will launch a comprehensive jobs-for-jihadists program. It will be the best thing since Midnight Basketball.” We told you often the best ideas come to us when we least expect them.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
FINALLY AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF CONSERVATIVE AGENDA THIS WEEK, Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane which movie our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher was rooting for to win the 87th Annual Academy Awards in Hollywood on Sunday night. “I can’t wait to hear Clint Eastwood’s acceptance speech is ‘American Sniper’ wins. It could be even better than when Dirty Harry debated Obama’s Empty Chair at the Republican National Convention in 2012,” Kane explained. “Every Liberal in America would go crazy.” Plus, somebody added, “The Blower has been ambushing people by taking pot shots at them for years.”
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”
Monday (February 23) we’ll be celebrating our salute to White Guilt Month, and we’ll be predicting 697 more days of bad government remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless he’s impeached.
Tuesday (February 24) we’ll be remembering last year when Disgraced Former Pants-Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton visited Louisville for Alison Wundergams Grimes’ fundraiser, and our Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers told us why so many Northern Kentucky DemocRAT women were planning to attend.
Wednesday (February 25), The Blower will be asking the Anderson Township Republican Club which front-running Republican 2016 presidential candidates are already offering to speak at the upcoming Lincoln-Reagan-“In Russ We Trust” Jackson Day Dinner at the Anderson Government Center
Thursday (February 26) we’ll be asking why so few people know that Rumpke actually offers a Senior Citizen Discount.
The first line of Friday’s (February 27) limerick is: “This month we study Black History.”
And Saturday (February 28) we’ll be we’ll be celebrating the end to White Guilt Month, and you ll thought it would never be over.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially REAL RACISTS!
Also Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Hamilton County’s Disingenuous Double-Dipping Democrat Auditor, who still hasn’t explained exactly how his office came up with its Fair Property Values for your Jacked-Up Property Taxes. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows us what might happen if you file a complaint with the Auditor’s Board of Revision.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
“American Sniper”: The film Liberals Don’t Want to Win
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