Special “Sorry I Forgot Valentine’s Day” E-dition

Header-February 14 (extra)

Saturday, February 14, 2015

But You Weren’t the Only One Who Forgot

Remember when you went to grade school and you used to come on Valentine’s Day with a big bag full of Valentine’s from all of your little classmates? Remember how good you felt? Maybe that’s why we’re feeling a little low this morning, because we still can’t stop thinking about all those people who didn’t send us a Valentine this year.

  • image006PRESIDENT OBAMA, who’s spending a undeserved over-taxed payer funded vacation weekend golfing in California for the second year in a row while The Mooch doubles the cost with her separate over-taxed- payer-funded holiday somewhere else, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • OBAMA SUPPORTERS IN THE PRESS, who were all too busy promoting the myth that Obama is cutting spending, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • DUMBED-DOWN, SELF-ABSORBED, MEDIA-INFLUENCED, CELEBRITY-OBSESSED, POLITICALLY-CORRECT, UNINFORMED, SHORT-ATTENTION-SPAN, FREE-STUFF GRABBING, LOW-INFORMATION OBAMA SUPPORTERS WHO PUT OBAMA IN THE WHITE HOUSE—TWICE, who were still waiting for jobs and more free stuff, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • GOP SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE JOHN BOEHNER, who’s formally enrolled Keystone Pipeline by putting his signature on the bill and called on Obama to “do the right thing” and signed his name, didn’t send us a Valentine.  
  • SENATE MAJORITY LEADER MITCH MCCONNELL, who was being pushed by Conservatives to invoke the “nuclear option” and change the chamber’s rules to pass a bill defunding President Obama’s executive actions on immigration, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • SENATOR ROB “FIGHTING FOR FAGELLAS” PORTMAN, who didn’t mention his support for same sex marriage when he spoke to the Northeast Hamilton County Republican Breakfast, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • image008OHIO TEA PARTY GUY TOM ZAWISTOWSKI, in spite of the fact that The Blower is the only publication in the entire universe to capitalize “TEA Party,” didn’t send us a Valentine.  
  • OHIO FIRST DISTRICT CONGRESSMAN STEVE CHABOTHEAD, who still can’t stop blogging about how he was named the most Conservative member of Congress, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • OHIO SECOND DISTRICT CONGRESSMAN “BRONZE STAR BRAD” WENSCHMIDT, who’s still trying to get some mileage out of that survey he sent his constituents eight months into his freshman term in 2013, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • KENTUCKY FOURTH DISTRICT CONGRESSMAN THOMAS MASSIE, who is trying once again to legalize industrial hemp growth, because such production could boost jobs in Kentucky, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • BUCKWHEAT BLACKWELL, who along with Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Charles Foster Kane is a finalist for this year’s Ebony and Ivory Racial Healing Awards during Black History Month, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • image009DILDO WORLD CEO PATTY BRISBEN, who says she’d like to have a pornographic billboard just like that Flynt guy, didn’t send us a Valentine. 
  • MICKEY ESPOSITO, who said his dance card was full for last night’s light’s out festivities in prison, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • FRANK WEIKEL, who said it was only 60 degrees at 4:00 PM yesterday afternoon in Punta Gorda, Florida, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • REVERED FORMER CONGRESSMAN BOB MCEWEN, who said it was only 63 degrees at 4:00 PM in Naples, Florida, didn’t send us a Valentine. 
  • FORMER WLW HATE RADIO TRASH TALKER DARYLL PARKS, whose column about Brian Williams needing a “Wingman” to tell him the Truth, but was not poorly written, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • image011HAMILTON COUNTY RINO PARTY BOSS ALEX T., MALL COP GOP, whose “News and Events” Page is still dated “September 16, 2014,” didn’t send us a Valentine. 
  • DIMINITUTIVE DEMOCRAT CINCINNATI BOY MAYOR JOHN CRANLEY, who says he can hardly wait until March 15 for this year’s Backstabbers Day Celebration, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • OHIO DEMOCRAT PARTY BOSS DAVID A. “TRUST FUND BABY” PEPPER, who says he was really surprised when the D-RATS didn’t select Columbus, Ohio to hold their Presidential Convention in 2016, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • CINCINNATI POLICE CHIEF JEFFREY BLACKWELL, who couldn’t be bothered showing up at Friday morning’s ceremonies when the Cincinnati Police Department promoted four officers to Lieutenant and seven to Sergeant to their Command Staff, didn’t send us a Valentine. 
  • DOCTOR KURT FROELICH, who lost his license for using his finger to show women the exact location of their G-spots, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  •  JUDGE MICHAEL BARRETT, who is still trying to decide if Local Corpsefucker Kenneth Douglas can testify about the more than a hundred cadavers he had sex with during his 16 years as a night attendant at the Hamilton County Morgue, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • image012GREEDY HEARSE-CHASING, DISGRACED DEMOCRAT, CLINTON-LOVING, FEN-PHEN SCANDAL PLAGUED, FINALLY-TOTALLY-DISBARRED TRIAL ATTORNEY $TAN CHE$LEY, who plans to explain how he lost his law license at the $tanley M. Che$ley Distinguished Visiting Professor of Law Lecture on “Criminal Law” at the U.C. College of Law on Monday, February 23, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • DISGRUNTLED DEMOCRAT TRACIE HUNTER, now a Convicted DemocRAT sitting at home waiting to be a Disbarred DemocRAT as she appeals her first felony conviction, saying how happy she will be to have another day in court to prove she’s innocent of those other eight felony charges, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • SPECIAL PROSECUTORS SCOTT CROSWELL AND MERYL SHIVERDECKER, who are making a fortune trying Judge Traci and were too bust counting all their money, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • HAMILTON COUNTY’S DISINGENUOUS DOUBLE-DIPPING DEMOCRAT AUDITOR, who still hasn’t explained exactly how his office came up with its Fair Property Values for your Jacked-Up Property Taxes, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES, who gave their historic 2014 award to Hamilton County Commission write-in candidate Jim Tarbell, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • LIZ ROGERS, who still owes a whole bunch of money to the City after her Mahogany Restaurant went broke and couldn’t scrape together 49-cents for a new postage stamp, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • FRED KUNDRATA, who ran unsuccessfully for Congress as a Republican against “Mean Jean” Schmidt in Ohio’s Second District in 2012, and ran even more unsuccessfully for Congress as a Dumb-Down DemocRAT in Ohio’s First District against Steve Chabotthead, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • “MEAN JEAN” SCHMIDT, whose big return to politics has not quite worked out the way she planned, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • image014WHISTLEBLOWER ALTERNATIVE LIFE-STYLE CONTRIBUTORS BEN DOVER AND PHIL MCKREVIS, who were too busy enjoying the naughty candy hearts they received from Cincinnati Clowncil-Gay Chris Squealback, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • HURLEY THE HISTORIAN, who says on tomorrow’s date in 1898, a massive explosion of unknown origin sunk the battleship USS Maine in Cuba’s Havana harbor, killing 260 of the fewer than 400 American crew members aboard and an official U.S. government inquiry has still not affixed the blame, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE, who chose Henny Youngman’s “You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it,” didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • TEA PARTY PATRIOTS, who say there’s still time to impeach the first black president during Black History month, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • image015DISGRACED FORMER MASTURBATING ANDERSON TOWNSHIP TRUSTEE KEVIN O’BRIEN, who still hasn’t sent us an announcement about where he’s now working,” didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • ANDERSON PARK BOARD PRESIDENT KEN KRUSHNER, who is still having trouble explaining that silly survey he used to justify all that spending at Johnson Hills Park, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • ERIC “CALL ME CRAZY” DETERS, who still manages to get his name in The Fishwrap, even though he’s been suspended from practicing law in both Ohio and Kentucky,  didn’t send us a Valentine.
  •  HAMILTON COUNTY DEMO-LABOR PARTY BOSS TIM BURKA, who still says investigating Hamilton County Republican Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters’ 2012 voting address is “not political,” didn’t send us a Valentine. 
  •  OUR GOOD FRIEND KENTON COUNTY COMMONWEALTH ATTORNEY E ROB SANDERS, whose “This Week in Kenton Circuit Court” is bursting at the seams with ugly mugs depicting the usual druggies, thugs, thieves, and scum bags, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • NORTHERN KENTUCKY DEMOCRAT DOMINATRIX KATHY GROOB, who can’t wait to invite Disgraced Former Pants Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton to her house in Fort Mitchell to support Hillary’s 2016 campaign for president, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • image016BOBBY LEACH, while still reminding us that there are a little more than four more weeks to wait for BB&BJ Day, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • CONSERVATIVE BLUEGRASS SENATOR RAND PAUL, who is requesting help to avoid a “costly and time-consuming legal challenge,” by asking members of the Republican Party of Kentucky to create a presidential caucus in 2016 that would happen well ahead of the May primary election, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • BELOVED WHISTLEBLOWER PUBLISHER CHARLES FOSTER KANE’S FELLOW CLASSMATES AT THE ANDERSON HIGH SCHOOL CLASS OF 1956, who couldn’t understand how Mrs. Kane has put up with the old curmudgeon for their 46th wedding anniversary on Valentine’s Day, didn’t send us a Valentine.
  • BUNKY TADWELL, who’s still too busy watching the skies for Killer Drones over Cleves, didn’t send us a Valentine.

image021Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially people who didn’t send us a Valentine! 

image017SORRY I FORGOT VALENTINE’S DAY HOT LINE

e-mail your most abject apologies today. 

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Some really remorseful items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally really remorseful subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.

image017MORE CUTTING EDGE CONSERVATIVE POLITICAL CARTOONS

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image021Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 243 different websites for the production of today’s Blower.

image017Whistleblower Video of the Day

Zooey Deschanel Sings *You Forgot About Valentines Day*

image021Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today. 

image017Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

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image024image021Note: people who work in government offices should be receiving The Whistleblower on their home computers because we do not approve of public servants wasting time reading this trash on over-taxed payers’ time (except when you have something to snitch).