Saturday, February 7, 2015
If It Walks Like a Duck…
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN wonders if Obama’s White House missed Lame Duck Day yesterday, which is always celebrated on February 6, because Lame Duck Day is always set aside to recognize people whose tenure is running out, since a Lame Duck is usually far less effective, and frequently ineffective. After all, loyalties will soon be shifting. It’s impossible to rally the troops to one more cause or project.- Lame Duck Day was established because the 20th amendment to the U.S. Constitution addressed presidential succession went into effect On February 6, 1933. Now there’s a lame duck issue. Now Obama is officially a Lame Duck, and we can all watch his Administration limp along for the next 712 more days during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless he’s impeached.
Photo Shop Editorial Spoofer Edward Cropper says somebody else whose tenure appears to be running out is yesterday’s Whistleblower Liberal Liar Winner NBC’s Lyin’ Brian Williams, who was forced to recant that Iraq War Lie he’s been repeating for the past 12 Years.
That’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Mike Wallace’s “If there’s anything that’s important to a reporter, it is integrity. It is credibility.”
Williams’ excuse was that “Hillary also lied about being shot at in Bosnia, so what difference does it make anyway?” Williams’ predecessor at NBC News Icon Tom Brokaw wants Williams fired, but Dan Rather, the CBS anchor who was forced to resign after he reported on a fake document, backed Brian Williams as a “decent, honest man,” and Obama is now thinking about asking Brian Williams to be his Secretary of State, especially after that new survey of scholars ranked Obama’s current Secretary of State John Kerry dead last in terms of effectiveness in that job over the past 50 years.
The Blower says Williams has been covering up all of Obama’s lies since Day One and isn’t it now ironic that he’s now been hoisted by his own petard (which means he has nobody but himself to blame)? Too bad all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, aren’t into “irony.”
AT TODAY’S BRIBE LUNCH, a political insider was asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why so many people failed to celebrate Ronald Reagan’s 104th Birthday on Friday. “We can understand why The Fishwrap forgot to run a big Reagan Day Editorial,” Kane explained, “but there was a nary a tweet from the Hamilton County RINO Party. Maybe that was because the Reagan Family told old Blueface to take Reagan’s name off this year’s big Lincoln-Reagan fund-raising event, that’s if they ever get around to scheduling it.” - HURLEY THE HISTORIAN ALSO SAYS on this date in 1974 Mel Brooks’ “Blazing Saddles” opened in movie theaters, and what a great Black History Month Moment that was.
CELEBRATING #IF BLACK LIVES REALLY MATTERED HISTORY MONTH HOT LINE
e-mail your favorite smothered pig ears and fried okra recipes today.
Some racial healing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally racial healing subscribers.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Brian Williams Misremembers / Apology Cartoon Comic – Animated Sitcom
Published on Feb 6, 2015: Brian Williams Misremembers and apologizes for other times he misremembered stories about himself in this funny parody. Animation comedy series about painfully funny animation moments in the spirit of favorite TV cartoons and top animated sitcoms. Watch the short YouTube videos and laugh out loud!
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
MORE CUTTING EDGE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA POLITICAL CARTOONS
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was misappropriated from a measly 472 different websites for the production of today’s Blower.
Persons of Consequence can now follow the on-going antics of the –dare we say, “mythical?”– cast of characters from The Blower’s archived columns. These articles will be Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s attempt to encourage undiscovered young writers, such as this brand new columnist who shares his acute and oh-so-accurate take on local Politics as Usual in satirical Patronage County.
“Mission Impossible” by James Jay Schifrin
RINGGG!
“Good Morning Mr. Phelps. We’re all out of self-destruct tape recorders, so I had to call you myself.”
“Yes, Mr. President.”
“We’ve got a little problem.”
“Which one, Mr. President?”
“You know, the 50 members of the Carter-Mondale Re-election Committee held captive by terrorists for four months in Iran. We need them to help in the primaries. The taxpayers are getting wise. They’re starting to ask about the empty desks in Washington. All the federal employees I sent up to New England have to go back to work. Or we’ll actually have to pay people with our own money. Nothing else has worked. You’re our only hope, Phelps.”
“What do you expect us to do, Mr. President?”
“Your mission, should you wish to accept it, is to sneak into the American Embassy in Teheran past 35 million Iranian fanatics, get our people out safely, substitute Kennedy campaign workers, then replace the Ayatollah with my brother Billy. As always, if any of your people are killed or captured, Hodding Carter will disavow your actions. What do you say, Phelps?”
“Sorry, Mr. President. We can’t do it.”
“Come on Phelps. Be a sport. You’ve handled impossible missions for years. Remember how you helped me get elected? Help me out, just one more time, please.”
“Sorry, Mr. President. No can do. You scrapped our agency two years ago.”
This op-ed column first appeared in the feisty Mt. Washington Press on March 8, 1980.
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