Tuesday, February 3, 2014

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers    

•  Nothing says what’s right with Obama’s America like millions of under-employed, Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, watching multi-millionaire athletes inflict concussions on each other in-between scores of over-hyped $4.5 million 30-second TV commercials as the nation plunged further into debt, coming to you live from the at the University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Arizona, when the Deflate-Gate Scandal Plagued New England Patriots beat the Seattle Seahawks in Super Bowl XLIX, as Adipose Americans scarfed down 1.25 billion more chicken wings, 50 million pizza slices, and a little beer in sports bars across the country and at home.  —The Moral Minority
• Who says “Cheaters never prosper?” —MVP Tom Brady and Winning Coach Bill Belichick
• Was my half-time show gaudy enough? —Katy Perry
• Obama predicted a close Super Bowl game, which proves his Deflated Balls haven’t hindered his Administration, since he’s already focused like a laser focus on the upcoming March Madness bracket picks. —Obama Supporters in the Press
• Did you see Obama trying to impress that NBC InfoBabe by telling her he was “the first president since George Washington to make some booze in the White House?” GW had been dead for a year when construction on the White House was finished, and the first president to live in the People’s House was our second president, John Adams. —Liberal Liars Award Committee
• And Monday, Obama’s aides outlined Obama’s ridiculous $4 Trillion Taxes, Spending, and Borrowing Plan which does nothing to restrain America’s soaring $18T debt that absolutely nobody expects Congress to pass. —American Over-Taxed Payers
• Wouldn’t it be funny if voters preferred spending cuts and lower taxes. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
• Since I saw my shadow on Monday, that means I can safely predict America will have 716 more days of really bad government.  — Punxsutawney Phil
• Is this the Winter of Wall Street Discontent or what? Investors probably wished they had hibernated this January. It was the worst month for stocks since last January. —Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes
• On this date in 2005, Alberto Gonzales won Senate confirmation as the nation’s first Hispanic attorney general despite protests over his record on torture, but he was hounded out of office in only two years over made-up scandals by Degenerate DemocRATS in Congress and their willing accomplices in the liberal press. —Hurley the Historian
• Maybe that’s why we chose Alberto’s “I have fully cooperated with the investigation and before the grand jury, and I’m quite confident at the end of the day that we’ll know what facts are in this particular case.” —Our Quote for Today Committee
• If you think your Hamilton County Property Taxes were humongous, why do you think I have to moonlight playing my old Frank Sinatra records on WMKV-FM? —Your Disingenuous Double-Dipping DemocRAT Hamilton County Auditor (who is always been permitted to run unopposed by the RINOs at 700 Walnut Street)  
• Why isn’t The Blower doing more to make white people feel guilty during Black Lives Matter History Month? —Belligerent Black Blogger Nate “Rhymes With Hate” Livingston
• The Gay Flag was really flying high over Cincinnati City Hall last week when Cincinnati Police Chief Jeffrey Blackwell’s Sodomy Rites Newsletter caused an “internal riff” in his department. —Phil Burr-Ass, Citizens for Community Values
• Here are the rules for addressing me: If you knew me when I was Phil, you can call me Phil. Otherwise you have to call me “Philicia.” —Phil “Philicia” Barnes, who sued the bejesus out of the City after he/she/it was demoted from sergeant for not exhibiting command presence by sporting mascara and lipstick, long painted fingernails, permanently arched eyebrows, and 38-DD breast implants.  
• Tomorrow’s big Number 104 for Ronald Reagan, so if any of you Reaganites would like to submit a Top Ten List of Reagan Quotes, The Blower might even consider publishing it. —Northern Kentucky Republicans 
• At next year’s Super Bowl Levi’s Stadium, in Santa Clara, California, Bungals fans will still be watching at home. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
• There won’t be any Primary elections in Ohio this year, but WenSchmidt’s lackeys still wanted to have that clandestine meeting with me at Eastgate Panera to find out if Clermont County TEA Party Patriots had found a candidate to run against “Bronze Star” in next year’s May primary Election. —Clermont County Republican Party Chairman “Buffalo Dave” Uible
• In last week’s column titled “Truth—The Best Defense,” We heard what happened when Muck Raker, political columnist for the Patronage County Innuendo, testified as an expert witness at that $10 million libel suit against the National Enquirer. —Your Friends in Patronage County 
• Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. —The Seediest Kids of All
• We think we deserve more credit. —United Appall People
• This year we shelved our patented over-the-top sexual innuendos in our Super Bowl commercials and attempted something really boring. —GoDaddy.com
• Does anybody remember two years ago when sexy supermodel Bar Refaeli French-kissed Jesse Heiman (the luckiest computer nerd in the world) in that uncomfortable close-up shot. We understand it only required 65 takes to get it right. —Bluegrass Computer Geeks
• Does anybody remember PETA’s Banned Super Bowl Ad? —Your Good Friend Bobby Leach
• I still haven’t gotten over last year’s Super Bowl ad where that sexy Teleflora girl says “Give and you shall receive,” promising you a “Happy Valentine’s Night.” —Horny in Hebron

• In watching the NFL Red carpet coverage on Saturday and Sunday, something seemed out of whack. It seemed that every male “celebrity” over 50 brought a much younger date with him. Then it occurred to me that maybe there was a father daughter dance being held. Go Figure!!! —Super Bowl Bob
• We’ll drink to that. —Michael “Liquid Plummer and Nathan “Cornbread” Smith
• You’ll never guess how many people are trying to get themselves invited to my Annual Valentine’s Night Party. —Miss Vicki
• You’ll never guess who’s registered here for Valentine’s Night presents. —Victoria’s Secret stores in Crestview Hills and Florence 
• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?” —Larry Flynt  
• Hey, everybody, Mardi Gras is only two weeks away. —Mainstrasse Merchants
• There are still a little more than six more weeks to wait for BB&BJ Day.  —Bobby Leach
• When do the Bungals get to play in the Super Bowl? —Trish the Dish at TV 19 News
• My favorite Super Bowl commercial was the one with the football player with all that hair.  —Jack Atherton, (Channel 22.45 in Dayton in case you wanted to knit me a head warmer)

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PLAGIARISM COUNT: Unattributed material was pilfered from only 643 different websites for the production of today’s Blower.

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Sometimes The Blower ridicules Super Bowl Hype to show that placating the masses with bread and circuses is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t still voting on his favorite Super Bowl TV commercials.

Disclaimer: This publication is sometimes a work of fiction, but it may still contain inappropriate remarks and unsupported personal attacks, especially shameless sponsors willing to pay $4 million for a 30-second ad. 

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WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

Judge Jeanine Pirro – Opening Statement – January 31, 2015 – Fox News

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