Sunday, February 1, 2015

The Whistleblower Week in Review    

• OUR NUMBER ONE SUPER BOWL HYPE STORY THIS WEEK was when The Blower predicted Obama Supporters in the Press would continue making a bigger deal out of “Deflate-Gate” than all of Obama’s Scandals combined up until the Super Bowl and beyond.
• OUR NUMBER TWO SUPER BOWL HYPE STORY THIS WEEK was when the three TV major networks continued to devote time obsessing over every aspect of whether the New England Patriots cheated in their AFC championship win. And when they were running out of steam, the big breaking news story was “Tom Brady’s Cold.” No kidding!
• AND OUR NUMBER THREE SUPER BOWL HYPE STORY THIS WEEK was when the Pentagon said they were “working to mitigate threat” posed by Taliban 5, after CNN reported the U.S. military and intelligence community now suspect that one of the five Murdering Muslim Monsters released from GITMO in return for U.S. Army Deserter Bowe Bergdahl has attempted to return to militant activity from his current location in Qatar.
• Meanwhile, we have this message from a Marine Corps Colonel in Afghanistan: “So with all the kindness I can muster, I give this one piece of advice to the next pop star who is asked to sing the national anthem at a sporting event: save the vocal gymnastics and the physical gyrations for your concerts. Just sing this song the way you were taught to sing it in kindergarten – straight up, no styling. “Sing it with the constant awareness that there are soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines watching you from bases and outposts all over the world. Don’t make them cringe with your self-centered ego gratification. Sing it as if you are standing before a row of 86-year-old WWII vets wearing their Purple Hearts, Silver Stars and flag pins on their cardigans and you want them to be proud of you for honoring them and the country they love – not because you want them to think you are a superstar musician. They could see that from your costume, makeup and your entourage. Sing “The Star Spangled Banner” with the courtesy and humility that tells the audience that it is about America, not you. And please remember, not everything has to be sung as a Negro spiritual. We’re getting a little weary of that. Francis Scott Key does not need any help.” Semper Fi!

• MONDAY (January 26) in our Special “Obama-Reagan Comparisons” E-dition, The Blower said, “Liberals keep trying to win one FROM the Gipper!” 

The Flipper and the Gipper 

           At this weekend’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were already asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about The Blower’s plans for our early February E-ditions, following our upcoming coverage of Obama’s Annual State of Disunion Speech on Tuesday, that George Will called “As undignified as it is unedifying and unnecessary” last year in his Washington Post column about Obama’s Vulgar State of the Union Circus.

[READ MORE HERE]

• TUESDAY (January 27) in our Special “Deflate Gate Hype” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s not the size of your balls, it’s how you use them!” and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:    

The Blower’s Number One Story Last Week was predicting Obama Supporters in the Press would be making a bigger deal out of “Deflate-Gate” than all of Obama’s Scandals combined, leading up to the Super Bowl, and beyond. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen

The Blower’s Number Two Story Last Week was when the three TV major networks devoted a staggering 67 minutes and 49 seconds to obsessing over every aspect of whether the New England Patriots cheated in their AFC championship 45-7 win against the Indianapolis Costs on Sunday, but only ABC allowed a scant 34 seconds to the Obama administration’s release of five terrorists out of Guantanamo Bay and back to areas connected with extremist violence. That score is 120-to-1.

[READ MORE HERE]

• WEDNESDAY (January 28) in our Special Another “Accurate Whistleblower Prediction” E-dition, The Blower said, “Republicans Still Won’t Vote for Impeachment!” 

And America’s Eight-Year Nightmare Continues

       At yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if it was time to chalk up another Accurate Whistleblower Prediction on the Whistleblower Scorecard, especially after Fox News reported U. S. Army Deserter Bowe Bergdahl would soon be charged with desertion.

[READ MORE HERE] 

• THURSDAY (January 29) in our Special “Big Balls” E-dition, The Blower said, “If you got ‘em, Flaunt ‘em!” 

Big Balls Throughout American History

            At yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if the news media would continue making a bigger deal out of “Deflate-Gate” than all of Obama’s Scandals combined, leading up to the Super Bowl, and beyond, especially after Fox News reported on Monday that U.S. Army Deserter Bowe Bergdahl would soon be charged with desertion. A former military intelligence officer claimed Tuesday that the White House was “delaying the announcement” of its decision to file desertion charges against Bergdahl, whom Obama traded for five Murdering Muslim Monsters at GITMO to bump his VA Scandal from the political spotlight last June. Word is they’re trying to delay that announcement for the 721 days remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless he’s impeached.

[READ MORE HERE]

• FRIDAY (January 30) in our “Just Another Guest Column E-dition, The Blower explained, “But It’s Still the Same Old BS!” 

Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:

           It’s none other than noted huckster P.T. Tadwell, who always says, “Without hype, something terrible happens… nothing!” Other hypsters on the Whistleblower Hype Squad include our Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall, Plummet Mall Developer Jerry Galvin, Hypemeister Bobby Leach, and Bill Meister, whom Mike Allen once called “a very industrious young man,” before the Disgraced Former Hamilton County had ever met Boinking Becky.

That’s why The Blower, which never met a Hype it didn’t like, is pleased to P.T. to be our Conservative Agenda Guest Editor and choose three hype-worthy items plus a Quickie to hype for today’s E-dition from those submitted by our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Plagiarizing Contributors.

[READ MORE HERE]

• SATURDAY (January 31) in our Annual “Ka-Ha-Rat Su-Per” E-dition, The Blower said, “To placate the masses, offer them bread and circuses!”

Decadence and Moral Decay

            Olden rituals have lost their meaning. They just aren’t the same anymore, since they’re rooted hundreds, sometimes thousands of years in antiquity and they’re not really relevant to what’s happening today.

            Reporting on Mideast violence from Israel this weekend, Jerusalem Bureau Chief Yitzhak Tadwell said recently on a hill near Bethlehem, a shepherd watching his flocks by night tripped over a stone tablet. Biblical scholars labored long and hard to decipher the ancient Aramaic writing. But now they don’t want to tell us what it says.

            Seems the tablet describes a barbaric pagan celebration. They fear we might actually practice it, and that would turn us into vulgar vandals, even as our culture continues to devolve during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, where the government would gladly go further into debt, just to placate the people.

            At that time in history it became the most popular of celebrations, and more people observed it than any of the other truly holy days.

[READ MORE HERE]

THIS WEEK’S BEST “LIBERAL LIAR” AWARD GOES TO

 Republican South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham, who told Obama’s attorney general nominee Loretta Lynch at a confirmation hearing this week that the fact that, in support of Planned Parenthood, she had advocated for partial-birth abortion did not “disqualify” her from serving as attorney general of the United States. If that RINO Reprobate isn’t a “Liberal Liar,” we don’t know who is.

Edward Cropper’s World

Today PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFER EDWARD CROPPER show us Obama’s Attorney General nominee Loretta Lynch, currently in Senate confirmation hearings to replace her sorority sister’s husband Eric Holder. You can see more of Mr. Cropper’s fine work HERE. 

This Week’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda

The Hype Stops Here

At Thursday’s meeting of The Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if Obama Supporters in the Press would be able to continue use “Deflate-Gate” to hype all of Obama’s Other Scandals off the front pages until Sunday’s Super Bowl and beyond.

It does seem as if they’re running out of steam, even after CNN reported the U.S. military and intelligence community now suspect that one of the five Murdering Muslim Monsters released from GITMO in return for U.S. Army Deserter Bowe Bergdahl in May of last year has attempted to return to militant activity from his current location in Qatar. Is that a shocker or what!

And with Obama now being called the “Bill Belichick of Politics,” the Pentagon will still be shielding their Commander-in-Chief by delaying announcing filing desertion charges against Bergdahl for the 719 days remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless he’s impeached.

• Other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, DemocRATS In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards: 
• Other Liberal Agenda Items will have to wait too, including: PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Fanatical Feminists, Supporting Sodomy Rites, Global Warming: G-Uncontrol, Liberal Brainwashing In Schools, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, Scalping the Washington Redskins, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money.

Political Correctness Running Amok

 Award-Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception says, “The Gay Flag was flying high over Cincinnati City Hall this week,” after he  read the Diversity Squad’s story in Saturday’s Fishwrap defending Cincinnati Police Chief Jeffrey Blackwell’s Sodomy Rites Newsletter that an “internal riff” in his department? [YOU CAN READ ABOUT THAT HERE]

With the DemocRAT monopoly of Cincinnati, the values have really changed!  It seems Diminutive Mayor Cranley has acquiesced to Gay Council Member Chris Squeelback’s desire to set policy at the Cincinnati Police Department.  In a move that is very similar to the Houston Mayor banning pastor’s from talking about his Eminent Gayness, and the Mayor of Atlanta firing a Fire Chief for being…yes, Christian, Cincinnati police are being told by the Queer Mafia that any Christian church or organization they participate in that doesn’t support gay rights – makes them a party to the “slaughter of innocents.”  Thus every police officer, and for that matter, every citizen should be brought up on charges of accessory to murder if they attend a traditional church or synagogue!

The next time Phil Burr-ass or his hired gun, anti-PC warrior Charlie Hassle visit City Hall to oppose Porn stores and the future Strip Club that is in the works, will SqueelbacK have them arrested or just thrown out?  Phil figures it shouldn’t matter too much, after all if Prosecutor Deters won’t go after the Flynts’ obscene stores (with videos like “My Sister & I” and “My Dad is Hot!”) he’s already asleep at the helm!

But why should any of this surprise you? After all, The Blower remembers what our Feckless Fishwrappers always say:  It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made our area great, it’s our “Diversity.” 

The Feck Stops Here

METRO MOLE says “Everybody in the local news media was pretty much ignoring Saturday’s Northeast Hamilton County Republican Party Pancake Breakfast where Rob “Fighting for Fagellas” Portman was hoping all his gay-rights supporters, since the group had asked him to be the featured speaker for 16th time.

In preparation for all that Super Bowl Hype, Republicans patted themselves on the back like so many over-inflated jock egos.  Which was not surprising with ex-jock Zac “I had my ass handed to me in the last election” Haines droning on as the MC. The only thing worse, would have been to let Bill Cunningham take the mic!  Poor Blue Alex looked green with envy as true Red County Chairmen Dave Uible and Ray WAR-wick attended and were surrounded by hacks and political gadflys of every ilk. AG DeWhine made an appearance, as did Ohio’s First and Second District Congressmen Chabothead and WenSchmidt.  Those in the audience Wenstrup woke up, the old Chabothead put back to sleep!  The least applause and biggest let down was Rob “Fighting for Fervor” Portman.  The cliché ridden speech was boring, even for a group of backslapping patsies given by a silver-spooned-and-haired perennial presidential wannabe.  Most people just kept mumbling about his “betrayal” and looking to see if his wife Jane actually brought any children, or when the next personal bomb would drop. And while the room was filled with Republican elected officials, the most notable thing, other than liberal-lover and Independent Mark Quarry, was the lack of any real people in attendance!

In Northern Kentucky

Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo reports Thomas Massie’s latest newsletter says our NoKY Congressman when he took office, he declined a congressional pension because Members of Congress shouldn’t be given special treatment. Our country is over $18 trillion in debt, yet congressmen receive special benefits unavailable to most in the private sector. If congressmen want to save for retirement, they should do so with 401(k)-type plans, rather than rely on taxpayers to take care of them even after leaving Congress.

The Blower wonders how our other Tri-State Congressmen (Boehner, Chabothead, and WenSchmidt) feel about that!

More Politics Unusual

• HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on tomorrow’s date in 1887 the first Groundhog Day featured a rodent meteorologist predicting the weather at Gobbler’s Knob in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania.
• THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Bill Vaughn’s: “The groundhog is like most other prophets; it delivers its prediction and then disappears.”
• THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says a more optimistic America plans to take a Super Bowl break tomorrow, but why isn’t President Obama getting more credit for our improving national disposition? The Super Bowl may be the biggest sporting event of the year, but a sizable number of viewers are more interested in the big budget commercials and the halftime show by pop star Katy Perry. [READ MORE HERE]
• OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Kimmel’s, “If you want to go to the Super Bowl in Phoenix, it will cost you a lot of money, double what they were last year. The average asking price is around $6,000 per ticket. Do people not know the game is on television this year? On eBay, a group of four Super Bowl tickets is going for $51,000. Although to be fair, that price includes a full-body rubdown from stadium security.” The Blower remembers last year when David Letterman said, “When Sunday’s Super Bowl is finished, it will be followed by the Republican rebuttal.”
• LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” No. 256 says to Define multiculturalism as a State-sanctioned grievance industry that stokes division and resentment, while always under the delusion that it is doing something positive called “celebrating diversity.”
• GOING GALT means you’ve recognized that you do not need to justify your life or wealth to your neighbors, “society,” or politicians, or bureaucrats. They’re yours, period!
• IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “TRUTH—THE BEST DEFENSE,” We heard what happened when Muck Raker, political columnist for the Patronage County Innuendo, testified as an expert witness at $10 million libel suit against the National Enquirer. That op-ed column first appeared in the legendary Mt. Washington Press on March 25, 1981.
• THIS WEEK’S SEEDIEST KID OF ALL WAS “SCHNOZZY HEIMLICH,” a balding little six-year-old boy who always dreamed of being a part-time legal commentator on TV, just like his hero Mike Allen.
• MORE POLITICAL POETRY: Here’s the latest from Bunky Tadwell, the Odious Octogenarian: This poem appears in his “Sentimental Poems of the Day,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves. 

No Girl Jumping Out of a Cake Again This Year
I just had a birthday.
Now I’m a golden oldie.
My body is all worn out.
And is getting kind of moldy.

• THE MUCK STOPS HERE: Over at Citizens for Community Values, Charlie Hassle believes the latest vile-and-disgusting Flynt Family billboard is just the tip of the iceberg and begins a process of over-sexualizing. “It begins a feeding pattern,” Hassle explains. “Next thing there’s strip clubs, prostitution, and there’s a whole process there and you end up with increased crime to decreased property values to urban blight and to what everyone is talking about now in human trafficking.” And after that, you might even have gay guys on Cincinnati City Clowncil. 
• WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says maybe you shouldn’t look at your portfolio today. Global stocks and core government bond yields were lower heading into the weekend as worries over US and global growth, uncertainty over Greece and concerns about euro zone deflation prompted an increase in risk aversion. On Wall Street, the S&P 500 capped a miserable January with a 1.3% dip to 1,995, in spite of a strong rally for oil prices. The US equity benchmark was left nursing a loss of 3.1% for the month.
• THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others. This week, The Free Grain Party criticized that Free College Education Scam Obama announced during his  “Free Stuff & Wealth Redistribution” State of Dis-Union speech, when he layed out his plan to increase taxes on high-income earners, capital gains on home values, retirement accounts and death taxes to “pay” for more free stuff for no-income Americans.

The Free Grain Party position? Perhaps we should improve the “free” education we already offer before increasing over-taxed payers’ investment.

Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.

Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice.

• FINALLY AT EVERY MEETING OF CONSERVATIVE AGENDA THIS WEEK, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if Obama Supporters in the Press would be able to continue using “Deflate-Gate” to hype all of Obama’s Other Scandals off the front pages until Sunday’s Super Bowl and beyond. “It really doesn’t matter,” Kane explained. “If it’s not ‘Deflate-Gate’ or the Superbowl, they’ll think of something else.”           

Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower.

THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL

Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.    

SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE

e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.

AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:

• Monday (February 2) The Blower will be our Annual “Groundhog Day” E-dition, and we’kk be predicting 718 more days of bad government remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless he’s impeached.
• Tuesday (February 3) we’ll be publishing our Super Bowl Post Game E-dition, that is, if it’s finally over, our Real Subscribers will be telling us all the hype has yet been concluded in their Real E-Mails.
• Wednesday (February 4) we’re asking how many of our Persons of Consequence forgot to pay their Jacked-Up Hamilton County Property Taxes on Monday.
• Thursday (February 5) we’ll be celebrating Reagan’s Day Eve, getting ready for the Gipper’s 104th Birthday Party on Friday.
• The first line of Friday’s (February 6) limerick is: “When the Auditor jacks up your taxes.”
• And Saturday (February 7) it’ll be a day late, but we’ll still be celebrating “Lame Duck Day,” recognize people whose tenure in a position is running out.

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Hamilton County’s Disingenuous Double-Dipping Democrat Auditor, who still hasn’t explained exactly how his office came up with its Fair Property Values for your Jacked-Up Property Taxes that are due on Ground Hog’s Day.  Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows how the Auditor’s Employees are prepared.

 WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE

e-mail your revolutionary recaps today

Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more. 

Whistleblower Video of the Day

I am the Locker Room Guy

Published on Jan 29, 2015: Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady and Coach Bill Belichick have spent a lot of time denying they had anything to do with Deflate-Gate. We don’t know if these people are trying to protect Tom Brady, but already more than half a dozen people have come forward to claim responsibility including Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, John Krasinski, Chris Evans, Steven Tyler, Eli Roth, Dicky Barrett and Bill Simmons. #IamTheLockerRoomGuy

Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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