Tuesday, January 27, 2014

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers    

• The Blower’s Number One Story Last Week was predicting Obama Supporters in the Press would be making a bigger deal out of “Deflate-Gate” than all of Obama’s Scandals combined, leading up to the Super Bowl, and beyond. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
• The Blower’s Number Two Story Last Week was when the three TV major networks devoted a staggering 67 minutes and 49 seconds to obsessing over every aspect of whether the New England Patriots cheated in their AFC championship 45-7 win against the Indianapolis Colts on Sunday, but only ABC allowed a scant 34 seconds to the Obama administration’s release of five terrorists out of Guantanamo Bay and back to areas connected with extremist violence. That score is 120-to-1.
• And The Blower’s Number Three Story Last Week was when Cialis released its “Deflated Balls” Super Bowl commercial. —Your DC Newsbreaker

More “Deflated Balls” Hype

• We’re already thinking about featuring our favorite politicians in a “Deflated Balls” E-dition on Wednesday. —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane
• Will local politicians be included? —Cincinnati’s Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley
• Do we qualify for today’s Liberal Liars Award for our puff piece about Cranley’s first year in office? —Feckless Fishwrappers
• How about me? I think it took big balls for me to announce I’m running for the U.S. Senate. —Little PG Sitt-n-Spin
• Can you believe February 6 is Ronald Reagan’s Birthday, the Holiest Day of the Year for all Conservatives in America? And all those other so-called Conservative publications and web pages are already exploiting The Gipper to increase their circulations and sell their crappy products. —Whistleblower Presidential Historian Dorian Grady
• Liberals will be exploiting Reagan, too, trying to compare Obama with The Gipper. Remember when we attempted to portray Obama as the successor to the greatest Republican president of the 20th century and enlarged his picture so he’d look taller than Reagan on our front cover? —Time Magazine
• That’s why we chose Ronald Reagan’s “Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
• On this date in 1888, the National Geographic Society was founded in Washington, D.C., and Our Good Friend Bobby Leach says people have been looking at pictures of Obama’s relatives with really saggy breasts in doctors’ offices ever since. —Hurley the Historian
• Heck, I even had a press conference with a lady reporter like that who eats here Cheerio’s in a bathtub while she’s in it, just so I could look presidential. —Obama
• I don’t have any balls at all. I already closed all the highways in my state and the snow hasn’t even started yet. — Dannel Malloy, Dysfunctional DemocRAT Governor of Connecticut
• Stop the Presses. The suspense is finally over. The state wide office Alison Wondergams Grimes  is running for in 2015 is the one she already has. —Whistleblower Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
• Can you believe I’m the only Republican candidate with balls enough to file for Bluegrass Secretary of Secretary? —Erlanger City Clowncilman Steve Knipper  
• Don’t forget my balls, too. I’m running for Lieutenant Governor alongside gubernatorial candidate and current agriculture commissioner James Comer. — Taylor Mill State Senator Chris McDaniel
• If you’re looking for more local guys with big balls, I’m running for agriculture commissioner against DemocRAT Jean-Marie Lawson Spann. — Georgetown Republican State Rep-tile Ryan Quarles With Family Roots in Boondoggle County
• I can’t stop whining about the size of John Boehner’s balls for inviting Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to speak to the House of Representatives. —Dishonest DemocRAT Kentucky Congressman John Yarmuth, Whoever In The Hell He Is
• Remember when our former weatherman got drunk at a party and showed everybody his balls? —“Trish the Dish,” Channel 19 News
• We all really miss Jack Atherton at TV5. —Sheree Paolello

More Conservative Agenda “Deflate-Gate” Cartoons

PLAGIARISM COUNT: Unattributed material was pilfered from only 643 different websites for the production of today’s Blower.

Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer   

Sometimes The Blower ridicules public figures with small balls to show that displaying weakness of any kind is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to limp-wristed Liberals who lack the courage of their convictions. 

Disclaimer: This publication is sometimes a work of fiction, but it may still contain personal attacks, especially against those criticizing American heroes killing all those Murdering Muslims. 

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WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

          Judge Jeanine Pirro Opening Statement – American Sniper

Some things are irrefutable. War is war a rose is just a rose, and Chris Kyle is a true American hero, and I for one am sick and tired of people what were they have carrying his backpack taking cheap shots at him and the other heroes and go to war many returning with fewer limbs to do what has to be done.

Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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