Sunday, January 18, 2015
The Whistleblower Week in Review
- OUR NUMBER ONE TRI-STATE TERRORIST STORY THIS WEEK was when Deer Park resident Michael Hoyt, a failed 44-year-old failed bartender at the Wetherington Country Club Ohio in West Chester, was arrested for planning to murder 12-term Congressman John Boehner by poisoning his wine.
- OUR NUMBER TWO TRI-STATE TERRORIST STORY THIS WEEK was when Violent Extremist Muslim Convert Green Township resident Christopher Lee Cornell -– also known as Raheel Mahrus Ubaydah -– was arrested Wednesday after authorities learned the man from Congressman Steve Chabothead’s district was plotting a shooting and bombing attack on the US Capitol.
- AND OUR NUMBER THREE TRI-STATE TERRORIST STORY THIS WEEK was when Citizens for Community Values President Phil Burr-ass sent out a press release asking if Rob “Fighting for Same Sex Marriage” Portman had a Muslim son, would he also be a Gay Terrorist!
- MONDAY in our Special “Free Grain Party” E-dition, The Blower explained, “How the Free Grain Party Began.”
Hurley the Historian says during the depression that followed the Civil War, many people were hungry. They all sat around starving, until one man had suffered enough. John Barleycorn finally decided to do something about it.
A latter-day Robin Hood, Barleycorn plundered the storehouses of the rich and passed out free grain to all those in need. “Help Yourself!” he told them all.
One night, some people followed his example. They also looted the storehouses of the rich. “Help Yourself!” they chanted as they filled their grain sacks.
Then, on John Barleycorn’s birthday, they celebrated at a pancake breakfast to honor the man who had taught them self-reliance. That was the first Free Grain Party.
[READ MORE HERE]
- TUESDAY in our Special “Free Grain Party Platform” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s People Helping Themsleves!” and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
Last week, our respected political scientists who measure the effectiveness of Conservative political activity finally issued their long-awaited report about why Republicans will never stand a chance at winning national elections until they come up with a winning message. —The Conservative Accountability Project (CAP)
At least they figured out Romney was right about that 47% who would never vote for him, no matter what. Those people are still dependent upon government. They believe they’re victims. They believe the government has a responsibility to care for them. They believe they’re entitled to free health care, food, free housing, and all the other free stuff they could get their hands on, including ObamaPhones. These people pay no income tax. —Obama’s Campaign Committee
Do you think they’re talking about us? —Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice
Did the Clermont Cronies see that we set up an organization to get millions from Obamaphones? —“Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Campaign Manager Barry Bennett
[READ MORE HERE]
- WEDNESDAY (January 14) in our Special “Obama’s French Kiss Off” E-dition, The Blower said, “He would’ve shown up for a “Gay Paree” Rally!”
# French Lives Matter
At Today’s At yesterday’s meeting of The Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why Obama failed to show up for Sunday’s big photo op in Paris when France held a Massive Unity Rally for Victims and Freedom Of Speech with more than several million people and world leaders In attendance.
The Liberal NY Daily News blasted the Obama Regime for missing the Paris March. Do you think their “You Let the World Down” Headline was subtle enough?
Maybe Obama’s advisors didn’t think anybody would notice. Yeah, right–because after sitting out the “#HandsUpDontShoot” and “#BlackLivesMatter” demonstrations, Obama and Holder didn’t want to be caught on camera attending a “#JeSuisCharlie” rally in Paris, no matter how many other world leaders were going to be there in solidarity with the French people, with the Jewish people, or with freedom of expression in general. And when they returned, the backlash from their political base would have been too overwhelming. One might think France is not as important as someone who attacks a police officer, when the White House only sent three people to the Michael Brown funeral.
“Paris is the capital of the world,” said French President Hollande, standing next to 44 foreign leaders. Obama was no longer the “Leader of the Free World,” after “Je Suis Charlie” Morphed into “Je Suis Obama.”
By choosing to stay away from the march, the United States expressed not only its public disdain for the effort to respond to the rising tide of hate, but the president also demonstrated that he doesn’t understand that being the leader of the free world occasionally requires him to show up even when he’d rather stay home.
[READ MORE HERE]
- THURSDAY (January 15) in our Special “Threatening Public Officials” E-dition, The Blower said, “We thought the third time was supposed to be the charm!”
Bartender Blundered, Boehner Survives
Was the third guy who got himself arrested for plotting to kill John Boehner really only planning to poison his wine? What a silly idea that was. You know, that would never work. Any guy who’d try to stick his tongue in Nancy Pelosi’s ear must be immune to any poisonous substance.
Still, Deer Park resident Michael Hoyt, a former bartender at the Wetherington Country Club Ohio in West Chester patronized by Ohio Republican House Speaker John Boehner, has been charged with threatening to murder the 12-term congressman by poisoning his wine. When questioned by the authorities, Hoyt reportedly said evil voices coming from his car speakers and his radio at home told him the House speaker was the devil. Most probably it was WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham. The 44-year-old failed mixologist also blamed the Ohio Republican for spreading Ebola and said he had been planning to shoot Boehner with his Beretta .380 automatic, just like the ones on sale at Point Blank Range & Gun Shop, according to the full-color ad inserted into Sunday’s Fishwrap.
Deer Park Clowncilman Charlie Tassle says, “I’m glad Mr. Hoyt didn’t live in my Deer Park district.”
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane was distraught to hear of the failed murder plot to kill his long time good friend John Boehner. “The Whistleblower Newswire has since revoked Hoyt’s charter subscription,” Kane said. “Michael Hoyt is no longer a Person of Consequence.”
IN A RELATED ITEM, a Violent Extremist Muslim Convert was arrested in Ohio for plotting an ISIS-Inspired Attack on the U.S. Capitol. Green Township resident Christopher Lee Cornell -– also known as Raheel Mahrus Ubaydah -– was arrested Wednesday after authorities learned the man from Congressman Steve Chabothead’s district was plotting a shooting and bombing attack on the US Capitol. The terrorist wanabee also purchased two semi-automatic rifles from the same Point Blank Range & Gun Shop, fast becoming the choice for psychotics and Jihadists in South Western Ohio, conveniently located only a grenade’s throw from Steve Chabothead’s Campaign office. The Blower’s wondering if “profiling” wouldn’t be a good thing after looking at Cornell- Ubaydah’s picture.
[READ MORE HERE]
- FRIDAY (January 16) in our “Just Another Guest Column E-dition, The Blower explained, “But It’s Still the Same Old BS!”
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
It’s none other than Freshman Iowa Republican Senator Joni Ernst, who was also chosen to deliver the Republican response to President Obama’s State of the Union address next week. Lieutenant Colonel Ernst represents a quintessential “only-in-America’ story,” because of the focus her campaign put on listening to the people of Iowa and focusing on their priorities, especially jobs and our still-struggling economy. As a member of the U.S. military, Ernst knows first-hand the sacrifices our men and women in uniform make to keep us all safe from Murdering Muslims in a dangerous world.
Senator-Soldier Ernst brings a unique perspective to the Senate. She is a mother, a soldier, and an independent leader who serves in Washington because Americans voted for change in the last election, and Joni understands that middle-class Americans want Congress to get back to work and that they want Washington to get refocused on their concerns, instead of those of the political class.”
That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in honoring women in the Army even if they outrank our own Ohio Second District Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” WenSchmidt, is pleased to allow Joni to be our Conservative Agenda Guest Editor and choose three Murdering Muslim Bashing items plus a Murdering Muslim Bashing Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Plagiarizing Contributors.
[READ MORE HERE]
- SATURDAY (January 17) in our — Special “Same Time Last Year” E-dition, The Blower said, “Those Were the Good Old Days!”
What a Difference a Year Makes
Think of how much things have changed since middle of January in 2014. It was our Special “”Weekly Impeachment Threat”” E-dition, and The Blower asked, “How many does Obama have so far?”
OBAMA’S FIFTH YEAR IN OFFICE WAS ALMOST OVER: Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus said we didn’t know about any of those “All Talk” Republicans in Congress, but it was about time for Ordinary Americans to start filing Articles of Impeachment against Obama, especially after he threatened to issue “Executive Orders” and “Rule by Decree” to get whatever he wants during the final 1,100 days in the Divided States of America during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term.
[READ MORE HERE]
The Libtard Show
Libtard n. Combination of “liberal” and “retard,” or people who, intoxicated by being knowlegable and right about politics and economics, forget that they need to get actual real ordinary people to support them if their agenda is to be advanced. Often but not always rich, well meaning and with good insight to society’s problems, but naive about the mechanics of politics and utterly ignorant about how power actually works.
This Week’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda
Terrorism in the Tri-State
Political Terrorism reared its ugly head in the Southwestern Ohio this week a third guy got himself arrested for plotting to kill John Boehner. This time, Deer Park resident Michael Hoyt, a failed 44-year-old failed bartender at the Wetherington Country Club Ohio in West Chester, was planning to murder 12-term Congressman John Boehner by poisoning his wine. Hoyt, who is only one among the battalions of bartenders Boehner has kept in business over the years, and as it turns out actually did live in Deer Park Clowncilman Charlie Tassle’s district, was also planning to shoot Boehner with his Beretta .380 automatic, purchased at the Point Blank Range & Gun Shop. Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane was so distraught to hear of the failed murder plot to kill his long time good friend Boehner. The Whistleblower Newswire revoked Hoyt’s charter subscription when Kane declared Michael Hoyt “no longer a Person of Consequence.”
Shortly thereafter, Violent Extremist Muslim Convert Christopher Lee Cornell (also known as Raheel Mahrus Ubaydah) was arrested after authorities learned the man from Congressman Steve Chabothead’s district was plotting a shooting and bombing attack on the US Capitol. The terrorist wanabee also purchased two semi-automatic rifles from the same Point Blank Range & Gun Shop, which Muslim Sympathizer Awan Afuqya says is fast becoming the top choice for psychotics and Jihadists in South Western Ohio, conveniently located only a grenade’s throw from Steve Chabothead’s Campaign office. The Whistleblower Newswire also revoked Cornell-Ubaydah’s Arabic subscription when Butler County Sheriff Richard Jones refused delivery of Green Township Terrorist’s copy of the daily printed e-dition. Meanwhile, Senator Rob Portman said if he had a Muslim son, he’d probably look just like Raheel.
At the same time, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says that the Northern Kentucky Tribune published by the Kentucky Center for Public Service Journalism, whoever the hell they are, missed out on another good story when they forgot to interview Erlanger, KY’s National Council on American Islamic Relations Board Chair Roula Allouch about the wholly owned subsidiary of the Muslim Brotherhood’s views on last week’s Muslim Murders in Paris.
Other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, Democrats In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards.
Other Liberal Agenda Items will have to wait too, including: PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Fanatical Feminists, Supporting Sodomy Rites, Global Warming: G-Uncontrol, Liberal Brainwashing In Schools, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, Scalping the Washington Redskins, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money.
TODAY’S “LIBERALS TELL THE STUPIDEST LIES” AWARD WINNER IS
Black DemocRAT Dingbat California Congresswoman Barbara Lee (D-CA) who, when asked if the Obama Administration was right to refuse to use the phrase “radical Islamic terrorism,” backed the White House because saying “Islamic Extremists” would anger the terrorists. Lee, speaking to Chris Hayes on PMSNBC, continued, “I have to just say to the President and the White House they’re absolutely correct. And I’m not even talking about being politically correct. I’m talking about in the context of our national security.” You can see that here.
The Feck Stops Here
METRO MOLE says this week The Diversity Squad at The Fishwrap came up with a story for the front page of Sunday’s Forum Section, where KimBall Perry will exclusively report The Green Township Terrorist now wants a Sex Change Operation so he can be known as Carrie Blackmore Ubaydah, and he would look just like the Fishwrap Reporter who’s doing the made-for-TV movie on his life story. And since he’s in jail, his gender reassignment would be paid for by the over-taxed payers. The Blower remembers what our Feckless Fishwrappers always say: It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made our area great, it’s our “Diversity.”
Speaking of which, Same Sex Marriage has now moved to the top of The Fishwrap’s Liberal Agenda, since The Supremes have agreed to decide once and for all whether marriage is a constitutional right for all couples in the country, regardless of their sexual perversions.
And wasn’t it Interesting that The Fishwrap ignored the bold call for Justice Ginsberger to recuse herself from the gay marriage case – since she is performing them! Then again, the activists on the Left have never had any problem ignoring the law or shame. If the House and Senate petitioned her to step down, would The Fishwrap provide a cover puff piece for Rob “Fighting for Function” Portman? Would they also make sure to sneak in a reference to PG Sit-and-Spin, since he’s trying so hard to appear serious about being serious?
More Conservative Agenda E-Cards
More Politics Unusual
- OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER says all of our nocturnal comedians were mocking the incredible whiteness of the Academy Awards this week. Jimmy Fallon’s said, “Actually, there’s a little controversy this year over the fact that the acting nominations are made up entirely of white actors and actresses. Even the people in the J. Crew catalog said, Yikes!” Conan O’Brien said, “Oscar nominations came out today, and this year’s Oscar nominations are being called the whitest in 19 years. Everybody’s white that was nominated. Here’s how white it is. I was nominated for best supporting actor.” David Letterman said, “This morning the Academy Award nominations were announced. Meryl Streep once again was nominated. I thought she did a tremendous job as the Olympic wrestler.” Jimmy Kimmel said, Nominees for the Academy Awards were announced this morning. They say this is the whitest Oscars since 1998 which explains why the ceremony this year will be broadcast from inside an Abercrombie and Fitch store. Some people are complaining about a lack of diversity in this year’s nominations but I have to say I happen to think that a nominee is like a snowflake. Each one is very different. And they’re all white.” And Set Meyers said, “This year’s Oscar nomination pool is the least diverse collection of nominees since 1998. There are so many white nominees that Fox News agreed to host a debate.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” # 220 is to tell a Liberal how much you admire the lofty neutrality and commitment to truth at all costs of their house journal at the New York Times, which is now about to lay off more of its Obama-loving staffers.
GOING GALT means shrugging off unearned guilt, refusing to support your own destroyers, refusing to give them what Ayn Rand termed “the sanction of the victim.” It means taking the moral high ground by explicitly rejecting as evil the premise of “self-sacrifice” that they sell to you as a virtue— in fact “self-sacrifice” is an invitation to suicide.
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Bob Dylan once declared, “Something is happening here, but you don’t know what it is.” That could well describe America’s response to radical Islam. 64% of Likely U.S. Voters think there is a global conflict in the world today between Western civilization and Islam. Yet the president of the United States and his top aides refuse to use the words “radical” and “Islam” in the same sentence. [READ MORE HERE]
THIS WEEK IN PATRONAGE COUNTY, Persons of Consequence can now follow the on-going antics of the –dare we say, “mythical?”– cast of characters from The Blower’s archived columns. These articles will be Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s attempt to encourage undiscovered young writers, such as our brand new columnist who shares his acute and oh-so-accurate take on local Politics as Usual in satirical Patronage County. This week’s column titled “Signs of the Times,” we learned what happened when it was discovered that someone had been tampering with the signs at the courthouse. That op-ed column first appeared in the Mt. Washington Press on October 14, 1981.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1990, Washington D.C. Mayor Marion Barry was arrested and charged with drug possession and the use of crack cocaine and curiously, our Kneepad Liberals in the Press forgot to mention he was a Drugged-up DemocRAT until he died last December, where his “going home crowd” drew thousands, and lasted for hours as the usual crowd of race baiters and agitators made an appearance.- THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Barry’s “Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.” BTW, 21% of the people who live in Washington D.C. are now on Food Stamps.
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL who celebrated his birthday on Saturday when he wrote himself another poem, which can be seen in his “Sentimental Poems of the Day,” found in the markdown bin at better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
Ode on My 84th Birthday
It is true I am getting old
My passion is becoming less bold
I’m no longer a pup,
Now I drool in my cup
And my pecker is covered with mold.
THE MUCK STOPS HERE: The Muckraker says in Thursday’s Blower, our Clinton County Blower Reporter discovered, via public records requests, that Republican Speaker of the Ohio House of Representatives, Cliff Rosenberger, is a mostly bald 33-year-old dweeb who still lives in his parent’s basement? According to the Ohio Secretary of State, Rosenberger lives with his parents at 7027 SR 350 W in Vernon Township. Worse than that, his parents didn’t even bother to vote in the last election. His mother hasn’t voted since 2012. What a fine specimen of leadership that the Ohio House of Representatives have selected for themselves.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. This week, let’s all re-read the “Little Eric D.” Story. 
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says U.S. stocks rallied on Friday after five sessions of losses, helped by a sharp rebound in energy shares and data that signaled the U.S. economy was on track for solid growth. U.S. consumer sentiment hit its highest in 11 years in January, while factory output rose last month, reports showed. After a very solid 2014, the stock market has started 2015 down as early earnings have disappointed and oil continues to plunge. But one thing is for sure, with Treasury yields hitting all-time lows on the 30-year debt, one of the few places to be for investors may be the stock market. Insiders looking to add to their positions took advantage this week of the stock market weakness.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others. This week, The Free Grain Party’s key position was “If it’s FREE, it’s for me!”
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice.
- FINALLY AT TODAY’S MEETING OF CONSERVATIVE AGENDA,
Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane what he expected to see at Obama’s State of Disunion Address on January 28.
“More of that patented Obama BS we’ve see during his past six years in office,” Kane explained. “But what Conservatives would really like to see this year is for Real Republicans in Congress to turn their backs on Obama, just like New York Police Officers did to show proper disrespect for Disgraceful DemocRAT NYC Race-Baiting Mayor Bill de Blasio, as he eulogized an officer who was ambushed along with his partner by Jihadist Cops Killer Ismaaiyl Abdullah Brinsley.
PLAGIARISM COUNT: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
Monday (January 19) The Blower will be working on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day (and most over-taxed payers will have to work that day too), while we’re continuing our countdown of the 731 days remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless he’s impeached.- Tuesday (January 20) we’ll be wondering what additional tax-and-spending Obama will be proposing in tonight’s State of Dis-Union Speech to Congress, and our Real Subscribers will be writing about Republican Senator Soldier Joni Ernst’s Official Response in their Real E-Mails.
- Wednesday (January 21) we’ll be celebrating the beginning of Obama’s seventh year in office. Time sure flies when you’re having fun, doesn’t it.
- Thursday (January 22) we’ll be publishing on the Real MLK Birthday and most over-taxed payers will have to work that day too.
- The first line of Friday’s (January 23) limerick is: “When someone sends you a tweet.”
- And Saturday (January 24) we’ll be getting ready for next Sunday’s big “Opposite Day” Celebration, when politicians say the opposite of what they really mean (just like every other day), not to be confused with the 2015 Northeast Hamilton County Republican Club Pancake Breakfast scheduled on Saturday, January 31, 2015, at the Sharonville Convention Center. Just wait till you hear which featured speaker you’ll get to hear for your $25 this year!
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Hamilton County’s Disingenuous Double-Dipping Democrat Auditor, who still hasn’t explained exactly how his office came up with its Fair Property Values for your Jacked-Up Property Taxes that are due on Ground Hog’s Day. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows how.
WHISTLEBLOWER WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
WHERE THE IDEA FOR THE BLOWER’S SUNDAY “THAT WAS THE WEEK THAT WAS” E-DITION CAME FROM
Also known as TW3, this was a satirical BBC programme shown in a series of 23x50mins (24/11/62 to 27/04/62) and 14x50mins in (28/09/63 to 28/12/63), produced by Ned Sherrin and presented by David Frost. The program was groundbreaking in lampooning the establishment
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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