Friday, January 16, 2015

Terrorism in the Tri-State

Political Terrorism reared its ugly head in Southwestern Ohio this week when a third guy got himself arrested for plotting to kill John Boehner. This time, Deer Park resident Michael Hoyt, a failed 44-year-old failed bartender at the Wetherington Country Club Ohio in West Chester, was planning to murder 12-term Congressman John Boehner by poisoning his wine. Hoyt, who is only one among the battalions of bartenders Boehner has kept in business over the years, and as it turns out actually did live in Deer Park Clowncilman Charlie Tassle’s district, was also planning to shoot Boehner with his Beretta .380 automatic, purchased at the Point Blank Range & Gun Shop. Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane was so distraught to hear of the failed murder plot to kill his long time good friend Boehner. The Whistleblower Newswire revoked Hoyt’s charter subscription when Kane declared Michael Hoyt “no longer a Person of Consequence.”

Shortly thereafter, Violent Extremist Muslim Convert Christopher Lee Cornell (also known as Raheel Mahrus Ubaydah) was arrested after authorities learned the man from Congressman Steve Chabothead’s district was plotting a shooting and bombing attack on the US Capitol. Senator Rob Portman said if he had a Muslim son, he’d probably look just like Raheel.

The terrorist wanabee also purchased two semi-automatic rifles from the same Point Blank Range & Gun Shop, which Muslim Sympathizer Awan Afuqya says is fast becoming the top choice for psychotics and Jihadists in South Western Ohio, conveniently located only a grenade’s throw from Steve Chabothead’s Campaign office. The Whistleblower Newswire also revoked Cornell-Ubaydah’s Arabic subscription when Butler County Sheriff Richard Jones refused delivery of Green Township Terrorist’s copy of the daily printed e-dition.

At the same time, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says that the Northern Kentucky Tribune published by the Kentucky Center for Public Service Journalism, whoever the hell they are, missed out on another good story when they forgot to interview Erlanger, KY’s National Council on American Islamic Relations Board Chair Roula Allouch about the wholly owned subsidiary of the Muslim Brotherhood’s views on last week’s Muslim Murders in Paris.

Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:

It’s none other than Freshman Iowa Republican Senator Joni Ernst, who was also chosen to deliver the Republican response to President Obama’s State of the Union address next week. Lieutenant Colonel Ernst represents a quintessential “only-in-America’ story,” because of the focus her campaign put on listening to the people of Iowa and focusing on their priorities, especially jobs and our still-struggling economy. As a member of the U.S. military, Ernst knows first-hand the sacrifices our men and women in uniform make to keep us all safe from Murdering Muslims in a dangerous world.

Senator-Soldier Ernst brings a unique perspective to the Senate. She is a mother, a soldier, and an independent leader who serves in Washington because Americans voted for change in the last election, and Joni understands that middle-class Americans want Congress to get back to work and that they want Washington to get refocused on their concerns, instead of those of the political class.”

That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in honoring women in the Army even if they outrank our own Ohio Second District Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” WenSchmidt, is pleased to allow Joni to be our Conservative Agenda Guest Editor and choose three Murdering Muslim Bashing items plus a Murdering Muslim Bashing Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Plagiarizing Contributors.

“And The Common Denominator is…” by Outspoken Conservative Rocker Ted Nugent

The Shoe Bomber was a Muslim
The Beltway Snipers were Muslims
The Fort Hood Shooter was a Muslim
The underwear Bomber was a Muslim
The U-S.S. Cole Bombers were Muslims
The Madrid Train Bombers were Muslims
The Bafi Nightclub Bombers were Muslims
The London Subway Bombers were Muslims
The Moscow Theatre Attackers were Muslims
The Boston Marathon Bombers were Muslims
The Pan-Am flight #93 Bombers were Muslims
The Air France Entebbe Hijackers were Muslims
The Iranian Embassy Takeover, was by Muslims
The Beirut U.S. Embassy bombers were Muslims
The Libyan U.S. Embassy Attack was by Musiims
The Buenos Aires Suicide Bombers were Muslims
The Israeli Olympic Team Attackers were Muslims
The Kenyan U.S, Embassy Bombers were Muslims
The Saudi, Khobar Towers Bombers were Muslims
The Beirut Marine Barracks bombers were Muslims
The Besian Russian School Attackers were Muslims
The First World Trade Center Bombers were Muslims
The Bombay and Mumbai India Attackers were Muslims
The Achille Lauro Cruise Ship Hijackers were Muslims
The September 11th 2001 Airline Hijackers were Muslims
And the Charlie Hebdo Murderers were Muslims

“CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG” by Well-Known Peacemaker Rodney King

Think of it:
Buddhists living with Hindus = No Problem
Hindus living with Christians = No Problem
Hindus living with Jews = No Problem
Christians living with Shintos = No Problem
Shintos living with Confucians = No Problem
Confusians living with Baha’is = No Problem
Baha’is living with Jews = No Problem
Jews living with Atheists = No Problem
Atheists living with Buddhists = No Problem
Buddhists living with Sikhs = No Problem
Sikhs living with Hindus = No Problem
Hindus living with Baha’is = No Problem
Baha’is living with Christians = No Problem
Christians living with Jews = No Problem
Jews living with Buddhists = No Problem
Buddhists living with Shintos = No Problem
Shintos living with Atheists = No Problem
Atheists living with Confucians = No Problem
Confusians living with Hindus = No Problem
UNFORTUNATELY, NOW WE HAVE
Muslims living with Hindus = Problem
Muslims living with Buddhists = Problem
Muslims living with Christians = Problem
Muslims living with Jews = Problem
Muslims living with Sikhs = Problem
Muslims living with Baha’is = Problem
Muslims living with Shintos = Problem
Muslims living with Atheists = Problem
MUSLIMS LIVING WITH MUSLIMS = BIG PROBLEM

Proper Care of Muslim Jihadis by Prince Vlad the Impaler

They’re not happy in Gaza
They’re not happy in Egypt
They’re not happy in Libya
They’re not happy in Morocco
They’re not happy in Iran
They’re not happy in Iraq
They’re not happy in Yemen
They’re not happy in Afghanistan
They’re not happy in Pakistan
They’re not happy in Syria
They’re not happy in Lebanon
They’re not happy in Nigeria
They’re not happy in Kenya
They’re not happy in Sudan
So, where are they happy?
They’re happy in Australia
They’re happy in England
They’re happy in Belgium
They’re happy in France
They’re happy in Italy
They’re happy in Germany
They’re happy in Sweden
They’re happy in the USA & Canada
They’re happy in Norway & India
They’re happy in almost every country that is NOT Islamic! And who do they blame? Not Islam… Not their leadership… Not themselves… THEY BLAME THE COUNTRIES THEY ARE HAPPY IN!

AND A QUICKIE from Jewbaca

Only in America…can Jihadist Terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and Obama’s Liberal Supporters in the Press will react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.

These items are perfect to forward to all of your Internet Buddies and Facebook Friends with too much time on their hands.

MORE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA POLITICAL CARTOONS

PLAGIARISM COUNT: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 243 different websites for the production of today’s Blower.

TODAY’S “LIBERAL LIARS” AWARD GOES TO

Obama’s Clueless Secretary of State John Kerry, who traveled to Paris on Thursday, said he will give the city “a big hug,” but not apologize for the absence of a higher-ranking U.S. official at a unity rally last weekend.

The White House acknowledged on Monday that it should have sent a higher-ranking official to the march in response to the terror attack at the satirical newspaper Charlie Hebdo.

But Kerry still claimed, “The United States has been deeply engaged with France from the moment this horrific event took place, and I really think, you know, this is sort of quibbling a little bit.”

Meanwhile, Edward Cropper, Photo-Shop Editorial Spooffer On Current Events, shows us what it would’ve looked like if Obama had sent Al Sharpton to Paris.

You can see more of Mr. Cropper’s fine work HERE.

Whistleblower Web Poll

This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said innocent citizens can best be protected from Terrorists in the Tri-State:
(A) Bring Back Profiling: 2%
(B) No more Political Correctness: 1%
(C) See-thru Burkas: 3%
(D) Kill Them, Kill Every Goddamn One of Them: 94%

Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!

Weekly Whistleblower Limerick Contest

Rude Remarks

This week, everybody who says, Obama’s latest call for “Civility” was just another load of bi-partisan, can’t-we-all-get-along crap, tweeted an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner is Randy Rude, our Uncivil Libertarian who says it’s insulting how the Left has deemed the rallies and speech of the TEA Parties and other libertarian groups as uncivil and a threat to political discourse, because unlike Fishwrap bloggers, who pretend to care about maintaining a dose of civility, The Blower should always contain unlawful, threatening, abusive, libelous, defamatory, vulgar, pornographic, profane, or indecent (but not poorly written) information. Everything we write doesn’t have to be so mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!

Randy wins a list of 1,001 Insults for All Occasions; a seat on Cincinnati Munchkin Mayor John Cranley’s new Uncivil Rights Commission; a chance to avoid the January 28 forum on bad manners moderated by Beyond Civility, presented by the Charter Committee of Greater Cincinnati; and opportunity to be on the air with WLW’s paid legal expert, Lovely Lisa Wells to play the tape recording of that time Eric ‘Call Me Crazy” Deters telephoned him and called him a “mutherfucker” 427 times in less than five minutes. His winning limerick is:

The reason we have no civility
Is that voters no longer have the ability
To distinguish between truth and fiction –
Thanks to widespread media dereliction –
And, among candidates, a complete lack of virility.

Dishonorable Mentions Include:

The reason we have no civility
And politicians have no virility,
Is the pursuit of the Almighty Buck
It’s turned everyone into a schmuck,
Obsessed with their financial viability.

The reason we have no civility
Can be broken down into a trilogy
Pundits shout at the masses
Spouting nonsense from their asses
To make-up for their lack of abilities

And from our Anderson Laureate, each of these entries has been approved by the American Uncivil Liberties Union:

The reason we have no civility
Is that the Left believes it is nobility.
For them to be kind
And have an open mind
Would simply be beyond their ability.

The reason we have no civility
Is that liberals have no humility.
They always know what is best
For all of the rest
And if you complain, they call it “hostility.”

The reason we have no civility
Is because of liberal hostility
They think they are right
And want to show you the light
The problem is, they have no ability.

The reason we have no civility
Our nature is fraught with fragility.
We might want to be nice
But if you take my advice
You’ll fight the Left with all your ability.

The reason we have no civility
Is that liberals lack humility
They’re better than we are,
Matthews, Krugman and Behar,
Don’t expect them to accept responsibility.

The Left hates Beck, Rush and Hannity
But don’t you question their humanity
If you don’t follow their script,
Have no doubt, you’ll get ripped
I’ve had enough of all their insanity.

So when anything bad takes place,
Whether it’s about gays, Bush, or race,
You can bet your sweet tail
Libs will rant and they will rail
Even though they don’t have a case.

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“When someone sends you a tweet”

JUST SAY NO TO CIVILITY HOT LINE

e-mail your uncivil citations today.

Some uncivil items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally uncivil subscribers.

Whistleblower Video of the Day

OBAMA: FALSE HOPE, FALSE MESSIAH

Published on Jul 22, 2013: ,And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of the land called America, having lost their morals , their initiative , and their Will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that Person known as “The One.”

Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Whistleblower Newswire

Some of the News They Seem to Lose

Daily Archives: January 16, 2015

Just Another “Guest Column” E-dition