Sunday, January 11, 2015
The Whistleblower Week in Review
OUR NUMBER ONE RADICAL MUSLIM TERRORIST STORY THIS WEEK was when Judge Jeanine Pirro said, “We need to kill them!” - OUR NUMBER TWO RADICAL MUSLIM TERRORIST STORY THIS WEEK was when Judge Jeanine Pirro again said, “We need to kill them!”
- AND OUR NUMBER RADICAL MUSLIM TERRORIST STORY THIS WEEK was when Judge Jeanine Pirro repeated for a third time, “We need to kill them!” and called for an all-out war against Islamist radicals by the US, our allies, and especially Muslims themselves!”
MONDAY (January 5) in our Special “Significant Birthdays” E-dition, The Blower said, “Inside every senior citizen is a young person wondering what the hell happened:
Hurley the Historian said today’s celebrity birthdays included three American icons: Millard Fillmore, 13th president of these United States; Paul Revere, the New England Patriot who rode through every Middlesex village and farm to warn that the British were coming; and of course, Our Very Own Beloved Whistleblower Publisher, Charles Foster Kane (shown here in this inspiring illustration by Kane’s Faux Facebook Friend Bob Hellebush in New Harbour, Maine).
Millard Fillmore’s birthday was once again ignored by the entire nation. Children at the Failed Cincinnati Public Schools didn’t have “The Ride of Paul Revere” read to them, and although Charles Foster Kane did have a 33-cent postage stamp issued in his honor a few years ago, his birthday has not yet been declared an official national holiday, where slackers get paid to stay home.
Retired Cleveland Pain Dealer news hawk turned Bellwether blogger Bill Sloat once said his former employer’s publication was also born on January 7. Imagine: two of the nation’s greatest journalistic voices were begat on the same date. What a hideous cosmic joke!
Sometimes banks and government offices are closed to observe Kane’s birthday and there is no mail delivery, but that’s only when January 7 falls on Saturday or Sunday.
[READ MORE HERE]
- TUESDAY (January 6) in our Special “First 2015 Winterscare Storm Warning” E-dition, The Blower said, “Enough of That Global Warming Crap Already!” and “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
It was hard to choose our lead story on Monday: The Still-Not-Ready-For-The-Playoffs Bungals or Hyping our Winter Storm Warning. —Local TV News Directors
If ever a game should’ve been blacked out on TV, you saw it on Sunday. —Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall
It was so cold last night, our brass monkey wanted to come in from the porch. —TV 5 Weather Guessers
Our prisoners at the jail made us change channels during the second half. They claimed making them watch was cruel and unusual punishment. —Hamilton County Sheriff Jim Neil
[READ MORE HERE]
- WEDNESDAY (January 7) in our Special “Bungled Boehner Coup Attempt” E-dition, The Blower said, “25 Conservative Conspirators Were Not Enough!”
At Today’s Meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders will certainly be asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane what sort of backlash he sees in store from Real Republicans for Chabothead and WenSchmidt after they voted to return John Boehner as Speaker of the House.
“A few hundred angry phone calls containing a few dozen empty threats about finding someone to primary them in 2016 and very little else,” would be Kane’s explanation, which explains why the two Southwest Ohio GOP Congressmen voted the way they did. Remember Albert Einstein’s definition of Insanity. All together now: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Anderson TEA Party Warrior Princess Suezilla Hardenberg says Tuesday, Republican leaders infuriated Conservatives even further by meting out punishment to that group of 24 far-right GOP lawmakers who tried to oust House Speaker John Boehner by removing two of those members from a key committee.
[READ MORE HERE]
- THURSDAY (January 8) in our Special “Surprise Party Surprise” E-dition, The Blower said, “We were really surprised when not everybody showed up!”
Maybe the reason not everybody showed up at Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Foster Kane’s Surprise Birthday Party on Wednesday was because after that Muslim attack on Free Speech in France, where Murdering Muslims killed 12 people at the Paris office of French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo, Obama’s Department of Homeland Security forced us to move the event to an undisclosed location, and they wouldn’t even allow us to notify all of those loyal Persons of Consequence on the Whistleblower e-mail list who were looking forward to all that free food and drinks.
[READ MORE HERE]
- FRIDAY, in our “Just Another Guest Column E-dition, The Blower explained, “But It’s Still the Same Old BS!”
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
It’s none other than the Blower Babe Ann Becker, not really Clermont County State Rep-tile John Becker in drag. Our Cincinnati TEA Party President is a letter-writer extraordinaire. Her not-poorly-written column in Wednesday’s Fishwrap said the Speaker Race wasn’t about winning the speakership. Instead, it was about the power of normal folks to be heard, and It was about the chance for Conservative views – views that are held by a majority of people in this country – to be heard.
Ann said for people to have a voice, Concerned Citizens must get involved in their county political party’s Central Committee because this is where control of the political power happens at the local level. For change to happen, people must start from the bottom up. You can learn more about Central Committee at the Ohio Precinct Project, because if normal people step up and become a part of the process, politicians will begin to hear the people again.
This idea is nothing new. A year ago in The Blower’s “TEA Party Tempest,” TEA Party Guy Ed Bell said Conservatives must fill every local GOP precinct and take control of Central Committee — this was the real key to sweeping the GOP Establishment from our statehouses and Congress. [YOU CAN READ MORE ABOUT THAT HERE] Obviously, not enough people were willing to do the work, and our TEA Party Patriots became entirely assimilated by the Republican Party. The Blower has only been complaining about this since Lincoln was a precinct captain.
That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in promoting reasonable and responsible political concerns, is pleased to allow Ms. Becker to be our Conservative Agenda Guest Editor and choose three Liberal Bashing items plus a politically incorrect Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors.
[READ MORE HERE]
- SATURDAY (January 3) in our — Special “Coup-less in Congress” E-dition, The Blower said, “Conservatives Were Still Not Ready For a Takeover!”
All week, Real Republicans were disappointed when they didn’t see enough outrage against Southwest Ohio Congressmen Chabothead and WenSchmidt after they voted to return John Boehner as Speaker of the House, especially after a new poll from Pat Caddell’s organization Caddell Associates showed Republican voters nationwide overwhelmingly wanted their House representative to elect somebody other than Boehner.
Politico says it’s hard to believe a group of House Conservatives spent almost a year dreaming big about toppling Speaker John Boehner, but less than a day before the vote, they still hadn’t found someone to replace him. And after all that huffing and puffing by TEA Party Conservatives last weekend, and all those fund-raising efforts by Conservative Web Pages and Right-Wing Organizations, our Spineless Republicans still ignored the wishes of the voters who sent them to Washington and our Clowns in Congress elected John Boehner to his third term as our RINO “Weeper of the House.”
[READ MORE HERE]
The Libtard Show
Libtard n. Combination of “liberal” and “retard,” or people who, intoxicated by being knowlegable and right about politics and economics, forget that they need to get actual real ordinary people to support them if their agenda is to be advanced. Often but not always rich, well meaning and with good insight to society’s problems, but naive about the mechanics of politics and utterly ignorant about how power actually works.
This Week’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda
This week, everybody was wondering when we’ll see some real against Southwest Ohio Congressmen Chabothead and WenSchmidt after they voted to return John Boehner as Speaker of the House.
After all that huffing and puffing by TEA Party Conservatives last weekend, and all those fund-raising efforts by Conservative Web Pages and Right-Wing Organizations, our Spineless Republicans once again ignored the wishes of the voters who sent them to Washington and our Clowns in Congress elected John Boehner to his third term as our RINO “Weeper of the House.”
The Blower predicted “A few hundred angry phone calls containing a few dozen empty threats about finding someone to primary them in 2016 and very little else.” That explains why our two Southwest Ohio GOP Congressmen voted the way they did. Remember Albert Einstein’s definition of Insanity. All together now: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, Democrats In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards:
Other Liberal Agenda Items will have to wait too, including: PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Fanatical Feminists, Supporting Sodomy Rites, Global Warming: G-Uncontrol, Liberal Brainwashing In Schools, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, Scalping the Washington Redskins, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money.
TODAY’S “LIBERALS TELL THE STUPIDEST LIES” AWARD WINNER IS
Obama’s Muslim Sympathizing Attorney General Eric Holder, speaking from Paris, who said in a series of interviews with the Sunday morning news shows in Washington that investigators at this point don’t have “any credible information” to determine which terrorist group was responsible for the attacks in Paris.
French President Jacques Chirac was the first foreign leader to visit the White House after 9/11, but Obama snubbed France on Sunday by failing to attend, or send any top officials, to a rally against Islamic terrorism in Paris attended by more than 50 world leaders. As Weasel Zippers points out, Obama was too busy to stand against radical Islam, or to even call it that.
The Feck Stops Here
METRO MOLE says this week, folks at The Fishwrap are still leading the Portman Parade, especially since Rob “Fighting for Gay Marriage” Portman announced Thursday that he will begin his 2016 Senate campaign with nearly $6 million, no announced DemocRAT Opponent, and the support of “most” Ohio Republican officials.
But in Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says, according to the Newark Advocate, is State Rep-Tile Bill Hayes, who represents the 72nd Ohio House District wherever the hell that is. Hayes released a statement Friday that he cannot support The Robmeister’s re-election bid because of the senator’s views on gay marriage. Hayes and 10 other Ohio House members (Paul Zeltwanger, Nino Vitale, Kyle Koehler, John Becker, Ron Hood & others) are NOT included on Portman’s list of supporters. Portman, first elected in 2010, supported same-sex marriage after his son revealed he was afflicted with the gayness. Hayes said he does not agree that homosexual couples should be allowed to marry.
Come to think of it, The Blower didn’t see Citizen For Community Values President Phil Burr-ass’ name on Portman’s List of Supporters, either.
Our Congressional Insider explains Portman is a creation of the “Bushies.” He hasn’t done a damn thing for anyone but himself. He is so useless in Washington that he can’t even get a bridge for his hometown after more than a quarter of a century in office.
In fact, Rob Portman is the quintessential “Bushie, raising millions of dollars (mostly from Wall Street) for themselves and running off candidates who have actually spent time doing something other than fundraising. It’s worked for the Bushies so far. Portman will probably pull it off again, and if history is prolog, Republicans will be left trying to push another set of these blick bland country club money raisers across the line in Ohio in November of 16, again. Can you imagine Bush/Portman leading our Republican ticket? Our Sarcastic Sage says the very thought just make him tingle with excitement!
Meanwhile, all Real Republicans in the Tri-State who are still wondering why they didn’t see some real outrage against Southwest Ohio Congressmen Chabothead and WenSchmidt after they voted to return John Boehner as Speaker of the House, must console themselves with the fact that TEA Party Patriots still have Northern Kentucky Congressman Thomas Massie representing them in Washington.
COLD WEATHER E-CARDS
More Politics Unusual
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Fallon’s “Potential presidential candidate Jeb Bush will release a decade’s worth of tax returns to avoid comparisons to Mitt Romney. Yeah, they’re nothing alike. They’re just both former governors from wealthy families whose parents gave them super-weird names. Hillary Clinton is the leading presidential contender for the DemocRATS. Former Clinton aide John Podesta said Hillary will highlight her differences with President Obama if she runs. The biggest difference: Hillary is still interested in being president. 
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” tell them you don’t give a damn about the polar bears. And it’s not because you don’t like cute, fluffy, white carnivores; it’s because you find it hard to accept that a species whose population has increased fivefold—from 5,000 to 25,000—in the last five decades can actually be in any kind of trouble.
GOING GALT: We remember last year this week when Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) asked Republicans to stop reading Ayn Rand books and help DemocRATS pass legislation aimed at continuing their 50 Year Failed War on Poverty.
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Americans are hesitant to link the terrorist massacre in Paris this past week to the true beliefs of Islam, but many worry a similar attack on those critical of the religion in the United States could happen in the near future. 65% of American Adults believe it is at least somewhat likely an attack on those critical of Islam will happen in this country in the next year. A new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that just 26% think an attack similar to the one against the satirical Parisian publication Charlie Hebdo which mocked radical Islamicists is unlikely to happen here. This includes 29% who say such an attack is Very Likely and just five percent 5% who say it’s Not At All Likely. Even before the Paris incident, 86% of Likely Voters said radical Islamic terrorism is a threat to the United States.
THIS WEEK IN PATRONAGE COUNTY, Persons of Consequence can now follow the on-going antics of the –dare we say, “mythical?”– cast of characters from The Blower’s archived columns. These articles will be Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s attempt to encourage undiscovered young writers, such as our brand new columnist who shares his acute and oh-so-accurate take on local Politics as Usual in satirical Patronage County. This week’s column titled “The Eyes Have It,” we learned how to beat those holiday depressions by going out and buying yourself a new pair of eyeglasses. That op-ed column first appeared in the Mt. Washington Press on December 30, 1981.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on tomorrow’s date in 1926, the two-man comedy series “Sam ‘n’ Henry” debuted on Chicago’s WGN radio station. Two years later, after changing its name to “Amos ‘n’ Andy,” the show became one of the most popular radio programs in American history. That program evolved to become “Good Times” (where a poor Afro-American family makes) the best of things in the Chicago and “The Jeffersons” (where a nouveau riche, African-American family moves into a luxury apartment building) on TV, and for the next three years you’ll still be seeing Barack and Michelle living a lavish lifestyle courtesy of We the Over-Taxed-Payers. In this week’s episode, we saw Michelle tell CBS she’s tired of her “Angry Black Woman” stereotype.- THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose “Holy Mackarel, Kingfish!” from the Amos ‘n’ Andy program.
MORE POLITICAL POETRY: Today, Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, remembers a poem entitled “Winter” that simply said, “Jesus H. Christ, it’s cold out there! (The end)?” Well today, the Bard of Cleves has another fast four-liner about our climate:
They say there is Global Warming,
But if I may be so crass;
This friggin’ Global Warming,
Is really freezing my ass!
THE MUCK STOPS HERE: The Muckraker understands our Clermont County Cronies want Congressman WenSchmidt’s head for supporting our Tax-and-Spend Speaker who fully funded Obamaphones for another year. Has anyone begun circulating a “Bring Back Mean Jean” Petition? Maybe not, since “Mean Jean’s” campaign manager Barry Bennett set up an organization to get millions from Obamaphones. (See more about that story HERE)
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. This week, let’s all re-read “The Juanito Rameriz Story.”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says according to T. Rowe Price, stocks were modestly lower for the week as investors weighed concerns about the impact of falling oil prices on energy sector profits against mixed labor market data. On Monday, the large-cap Standard & Poor’s 500 Index and Dow Jones Industrial Average suffered their worst daily declines since last October, but sentiment turned on Tuesday afternoon, and shares rallied strongly over Wednesday and Thursday before losing ground again at the end of the week.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others. But with as many Conservatives who are still dissatisfied with the Leadership in the Republican Party after our Spineless Republicans once again ignored the wishes of the voters who sent them to Washington and our Clowns in Congress elected John Boehner to his third term as our RINO “Weeper of the House.” Do you think it’s time for the Free Grain Party to become a serious alternative?
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice.
FINALLY AT TODAY’S MEETING OF CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were reminding Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane to remember to wish his NoKY Gal Pal Miss Vicki a Happy Birthday today, but he wasn’t sure if it got censored.
“I already sent Miss Vicki a really personal message,” Kane explained, after he wrote “Women improve with age. The older I get, the more I like them” on Miss Vicki’s Facebook Timeline.”
You really can’t get much more personal than that.”
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
- Monday (January 12) The Blower will be introducing “A New Political Party for 2015,”while we’re continuing our countdown of the 738 days remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term unless he’s impeached.
- Tuesday (January 13) we hope to be celebrating The Ohio State’s big win in Monday Night’s College Pro Football Championship, and our Real Subscribers will be wondering which candidates Buckeye Coach Urban Meyer endorses in their Real E-Mails.
- Wednesday (January 14) we’ll be checking to see why our Hamilton County Property Taxes have increased.
- Thursday (January 15) we’ll be publishing on the Real MLK Birthday and most over-taxed payers will have to work that day too.
- The first line of Friday’s (January 16) limerick is: “The reason we have no civility.”
- And Saturday (January 17) we’ll checking to see if John Boehner has caved into Obama and the Dishonest DemocRATS on the Budget, providing he survives the Speaker’s vote earlier in the week.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Ohio DemocRAT Chairman David A. Pepper, who’s busy researching the law on Voter Fraud these days. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows how.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Little Rascals Unseen episode
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