Friday, December 19, 2014
Support Your Local Impeacher
Hurley the Historian reports today is the sixteenth anniversary of the day the House of Representatives voted to impeach Pants-Dropper-in-Chief William Jefferson Clinton for the high crimes of committing perjury and obstruction of justice while in office.
Today, as a few more Congressmen are finally beginning to understand how all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, have allowed Obama’s lawless conduct to ruin America for the past six years, the ONLY WAY to do something about it throughout the next 762 days of the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term would be at long last to have the courage to use the dreaded “I-Word.”
As The Blower predicted yesterday, there probably won’t be any impeachment of Obama anytime soon, because John Boehner and his RINOs in the House along with Bitch McConnell’s Surrender Monkeys in the Senate are too busy caving in to Obama and the Disingenuous DemocRATS every chance they get.
TODAY’S “LIBERALS TELL THE STUPIDEST LIES” AWARD WINNER is the DemocRAT Senatorial Campaign Committee, which sent out a fundraising letter on the day before the anniversary of Slick Willie’s Impeachment, supposedly from Hillary Clinton who purportedly said, “I’ve seen Bill take on many roles over the years – from father to grandfather, from public servant to philanthropist – but everything he’s done in his life has been tied together in his belief that if we work together, tomorrow can be better than today.”
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
It’s Real Republican Congressman Steve Chabothead, one of the managers at Slick Willie’s Impeachment Trial, who set out the legal requirements of perjury and accused the president of meeting all of them.
That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in supporting Impeachment for Lying Bastards in the Oval Office, is pleased to permit Ohio’s Distinguished First District Congressman to be today’s guest editor and choose three items plus a little Political Quiz for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors.
NOTE: The Blower is still waiting for the Old Chabothead to send us those Republican Talking Points explaining why he and Ohio’s Second District Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup rubber-stamped RINO Speaker of the House John Boehner’s $1.1 Trillion “cromnibus bill” that contained provisions designed to eliminate the TEA Party as a viable threat.
- “OBAMA’S CUBAN OVERTURE” by Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen
Once the murderous regimes of Mao in China, Ho in Vietnam Nam, Pol Pot in Cambodia, Ceausescu in Romania, etc. have passed, and forward-looking leaders replace them…..then movement toward better relations with America can certainly benefit the people of a socialist state.
However, if the dictator is still there with no desire to be friends with the US, it is foolish for us to throw up our hands and surrender. Cuba supports anti-American activities throughout Latin America, is the safe haven for Iranian infiltration, oversees and counsels the destruction of Venezuela, Launders boycotted arms to North Korea, etc. etc.
The uninformed say but trade will make them friends. IT IS A PRISON!!!! Doing business with a prison doesn’t free the prisoners!!!
When France builds a hotel on that beautiful and once abundantly wealthy island…..it doesn’t benefit the prisoners. The employees are controlled by the state (warden). If some tourist even gives them a tip; and the prisoner/Cuban is caught with any foreign currency they are imprisoned. Trade doesn’t benefit the Cubans as in a free society. It benefits the Castro gang/mafia, if you will.
Cuba is a family owned and run plantation. Until the Castro brothers are replaced, free people should not empower their evil oppression.
But, what would one expect from the first president:
Whose Mother was a communist.
Whose father was a communist.
Whose step-father tired of him……removed him from his Muslim madrasah and sent him to his grandparents…..
Who in turn farmed him out to live with and be mentored by the Marxist Franklin Davis who while living in paradise (Hawaii) was a columnist in Chicago newspapers and leader in the Communist organization in Chicago…..where he eventually provided the contacts (Valerie Jarrett, et.al) who successfully ensconced him and them at the pinnacle of American power.
The Clintons (by Presidential waver) gave our rocket missile and targeting technology to China, an action that will bring even greater harm to the next generation of Americans than Obama’s desire to help the Castro gang.
Obama’s legacy will be the destruction of functioning governments in the Middle East and the gift of billions of dollars during the negotiations leading up to his final approval of a nuclear Iran.
- “Brett Favre’s Wife” by Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall’s Wife, Whatever the Hell Her First Name Is
In a news conference, Deanna Favre announced she will be the starting Quarterback for the Green Bay Packers football team next season.
Deanna asserts that she is qualified to be the starting QB because she had spent 16 years married to Brett while he played QB for the Packers – even though she has actually never played football at any level from grade school up, never ran the offense of any team, nor ever played the game.
During this period of time, she became familiar with the definition of a corner blitz, the nickel package, man-to-man coverage, etc., so she is now completely comfortable with all the other terminology involving the Packers offense. A survey of Packers fans shows 50% of those polled supported the move.
Does this sound idiotic and unbelievable … or familiar to you?
Hillary Clinton makes the same claims as to why she is qualified to be the President of the United States and 50% of DemocRATS polled agree.
She has never run a city, county, or state during her “career” as being Bill Clinton’s wife. When told Hillary Clinton has experience because she has
eight years in the White House, my immediate thought was, “So does the pastry chef.”
When it comes to running the State Department, her biggest achievement was getting a US Ambassador and three other Americans killed, by pretending
terrorism had been defeated. Sometimes the facts can cloud the message, … sometimes the message ignores the facts.
- “Today’s Top Ten List” by Larry the Redneck
They say there is good in everything, so I came up with the top ten good things that would happen if ISIS took over the country.
10. You can have as many wives as you want.
9. The XL pipeline would be built.
8. Cheap gas prices.
7. You don’t have to buy shoes anymore.
6. No more gun control laws
5. Mideast countries would now be our allies.
4. Nancy Pelosi would be relegated to servant status.
3. Gays would have to go back in the closet to avoid being beheaded.
2. Obama would have to leave the country to avoid having his head chopped off.
And the Number One Reason it would be good for ISIS to take over the country, you don’t have to look at ugly women anymore as they will all be wearing burkas.
- AND A POLITICAL QUIZ By Our Good Friend Bobby Leach
So, you think you know where you stand, politically. Think again. The result from this short test may surprise you and give you some food for thought. You’ll be asked just 10 questions, and then it instantly tells you your score. It shows your position as a red dot on a “political map” so you’ll see exactly where you stand.
The most interesting thing about the Quiz is that it goes beyond traditional DemocRAT, Republican, and Independent talking points.
The Quiz has gotten a lot of praise. The Washington Post even said it has “gained respect as a valid measure of a person’s political leanings.” The Fraser Institute said it’s “a fast, fun, and accurate assessment of a person’s overall political views.” One university said it is the “most concise and accurate political quiz out there.”
Click here: World’s Smallest Political Quiz
These items are perfect to forward to all of your Internet Buddies and Facebook Friends with too much time on their hands, like the Stupid Streetcar Supporters who put together the Cranley Christmas Carol (Parts One and Two) last year.
MORE CONSERVATIVE POLITICAL CARTOONS
Stories We’re Working On
Obama Unconditionally Surrenders to Cuba- 2014 Lies of the Year
- Your New Hamilton County Bogus Property Values
- Traci Hunter’s Christmas Gift From Judge Nadel—A Toothbrush
- White Guy Steals Eight Christmas Trees From Kroger
- More Layoffs at The Fishwrap
- Rob Sanders’ Christmas Party at Jer Zees Pub and Grub Tonight
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said most ordinary Americans would be observing Christmas:
(A) Going to church: 2%
(B) Complaining about crappy presents: 2%
(C) Watching “A Christmas Story” on TV for 24 hours straight: 2%
(D) Getting another day off with pay: 94%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Weekly Whistleblower Limerick Contest
The True Meaning of Chri$tma$
This week, everybody who thinks the most important part of any Christmas present is the sales receipt, so you can return it and get what you really want, faxed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner from Price Hill is once again Ebeneezer Leach, who urges people to put all those garish flashing lights on their houses for Christmas because he owns all those shares of Duke Energy stock.
Ebeneezer wins a “Let’s Get Christ Out of Christmas” T-shirt, tips on how to tell if women you meet are naughty or nice, a pair of gigantic humping reindeer with moving lights for his rooftop, and that same rancid fruit cake he sent us three years ago. His winning limerick is:
The most fun this holiday season
Will be hugging your spouse and doin’ some squeezin’.
And don’t forget to say the blessing
When serving the turkey and the dressing,
Or good old St. Nick you’ll be displeasin’.
The most fun this holiday season
Once you find a good reason
To get into bed
While she gives you good head
Now that can really be pleasing.’
The most fun this holiday season
While the flu has us coughin’ and wheezin’
Is to stay warm and dry
Enjoying turkey and pie
Unlike bums under bridges whose asses are a freezin’
The most fun this holiday season
And I’m really not teasin’
With the new ban on smoke
You won’t have to choke
And you can go to a bar without wheezin’
The most fun this holiday season
Isn’t fruitcake and mistletoe teasin’
For when the weather is frightful
Staying home is delightful
That’s if your mistress is pleasin’
The most fun this holiday season
Will be to “occupy” Wall Street for no reason!
My friends and I love to bitch
And we just hate all the rich
Oh c’mon – you know I’m just teasin’!
And from the Anderson Laureate, who seems to be running short on the Milk of Human Kindness:
The most fun this holiday season
Will be staying inside where it ain’t freezin’
Then if I’m lucky
And my wife’s feeling plucky
I might get in a little squeezin’
But if she simply ain’t into the mood
Even though I’m laying there nude
Something else I’ll be tryin’
(Think of that guy we call O’Brien)
I’m sorry if that sounds too crude.
Or maybe just for the helluvit
I might try to remain celibate
Or I might decide to go
And act like a gigolo
And go out in the street and sell a bit.
I’m not really as weird as it seems
I just have these crazy man dreams
Can I help it if I’m male?
At least I’m not in jail
I am straight up, and ain’t got no schemes.
So anyway, let’s get back to the holiday
I mean, that’s what we’re discussing today
What’ll be fun for me
I’ll just have to wait and see
Who knows, it might be a roll in the hay?
And for our Folks in Kentucky we have:
The most fun this holiday season
Political favors just short of treason.
Even Ole Liquid Plummer
Would give Fletcher a hummer
For a political job, is the reason.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“This time my New Year’s Resolution”
WHISTLEBLOWER WISH LIST HOT LINE
e-mail your ridiculous requests today.
Some Christmas-spirit-filled items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Christmas-spirit-filled items subscribers.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Obama Loves Apologizing For America
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
