MONDAY, DECEMBER 8, 2014
PC Holiday Greetings for Our Liberal Friends
Please accept, with no obligation, implied or implicit, our no-charge, complimentary free gift of inflation-indexed, low-interest, toll-free “Best Wishes” for an unprecedented, truly historic, boldly initiated, officially sanctioned, public-optioned, top priority, premixed, peer reviewed, multilateral, gently Botoxed, computer modeled, federally guaranteed, bipartisan, clinically tested, deep-cleansing, post modern, low-calorie, revenue neutral, environmentally aware, socially engineered, low-stress, non-addictive, filibuster free, carbon sequestered, multicultural, reduced fat, polar bear embracing, asbestos abated, gender friendly, energy efficient, job expanding, tax supported, sub orbital, tree hugging celebration of the union made, non-profit, child proof, fluoride protected, wise Latina’d, seat belted, free-speech zoned, winter solstice Holiday (when the time is right), practiced according to ethically responsible traditions we can believe in, of the progressive religious persuasion, or secular practices, of your choice, with reciprocal respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, (or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all); together with a fiscally stimulating, consciousness expanding, medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without profound respect for the calendars of other cultures whose selfless contributions to our society have made America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only “AMERICA” in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, SAT score, weight, age, physical competence, credit rating, political party, computer preference, dietary restrictions, dental integrity, hair style, skin graphics, body piercings, or sexual orientation of the wishee.
(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification, modification, or withdrawal. Reverse engineering is prohibited in accordance with the statutes of California. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for him/ herself or others, is void where taxed or forbidden by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher or his/her congressperson. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.)
Now Here’s Our Holiday Greetings for All Our Conservative Friends
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Now Available at the Whistleblower Store
Whistleblower Snowball Fight Video
Where Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and Newt are teamed up against the local RINOs
Whistleblower Elves Trimming a Tree for Christmas
Getting in the Holiday Spirit with Eric and Nicolle
PLUS
Is it Christmas Yet?
“Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas
And, for all the folks planning to attend “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Christmas Party at the Schmidt Run Estates at 771 Wards Corner Road, where the disgraced former U.S. Congresswoman plans to announce her return to politics, we’re told it’s going to be an upscale party this year, unlike some of those really crappy Christmas parties she used to have in Kenwood. Her Meanness is not sending out invitations this year; it’s strictly by word-of-mouth. Valet Parking will be available at a reasonable cost. Dress is office-appropriate or cocktail clothing.
Now for those of you planning to join Outcast Attorney Chris Finney and Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane at “Mean Jean’s over-taxed payer funded event, let’s all sing the fourth verse of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas,” sent in by “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman.
“TaxKiller Tom” who still claims he did not run down that “Bitch-in-a-Ditch,” at the spot where Union Township officials in Clermont County had erected a special sign for the occasion.
Instead, “TaxKiller Tom” is shown gleefully cutting “Mean Jean’s” head off a cake at the Marie Antoinette “Let ‘Em Eat Cake Awards.” It goes something like this:
On the Fourth Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me:
Four Screeching Tires,
Three Borgman cartoons,
Two red dresses,
And one old crapper, from Rob Portman’s legacy.
MEANWHILE: If you’re still having trouble finding where Ohio’s Second District Congressman-elect “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup turned on those Amazing Amish Christmas Tree Lights in Adams County Saturday night, you might check with the Adams County Travel and Visitors Bureau, located west of West Union.
Now let’s see how much all those gifts included in the “Traditional 12 Days of Christmas” would cost according to “PNC’s 2014 Christmas Price Index.” Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes says based on the gifts in the holiday classic, “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” the price tag for the PNC CPI is $27,673.21 in 2014, inching up 1% from $27,393.17 in 2013.CLICK HERE to view the interactive website with an innovative worldwide gift hunt using the web.
In other Holiday Countdowns: Hanukkah Harry says the Jewish Christmas will arrive next Tuesday, Kwanzaa Klaus says there are only 18 more shoplifting days till Kwanzaa, and someday soon we might find out the names of even more of this year’s Fired Fishwrappers who’ll be standing in line at for a Christmas Goose at the FreeBee Store. You already missed the 2014 Hamilton County RINO Party Holiday Party in Addyston, wherever the hell that was. But our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders’ Seventh Annual Christmas Party still may be scheduled for December 19. Coincidentally, that’ll be the same time and place as the Holiday Party for the Whistleblower NoKY Legal Dream Team and the Cabal to Destroy “Crazy Eric Deters (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club).
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1941, President Roosevelt asked Congress to declare war on Japan after the December 7 Attack on Pearl Harbor. Had Obama been president, he would’ve said it was time to open a dialogue with Japan without preconditions.- Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose FDR’s “Yesterday, Dec. 7, 1941 – a date which will live in infamy…”
- America’s National Debt has skyrocketed to more than $18 TRILLION, a mere 70% during the Obama Administration. (Check our U.S. Debt Clock HERE.) Merry Christmas!
XXX-Mas Greetings
If you and your children go looking for Official White House Christmas Greetings on the internet, whatever you do, don’t click on “www.whitehouse.com.” These days that web site is totally useless. Citizens for Community Values Chairman Phil Burr-ass Phil Burr-ass says he liked it better in the good old days when that web address was just a sleazy porn site, but this year you can still find out how you can meet single transexuals who live in your neighborhood.
A Season of Sacrifice
During December you’ll be seeing the President and First Lady wrapping Christmas presents with Christian kids, spinning the Hanukkah dreidel with little Jewish children, reading stories from Koran stories to Muslim boys and girls, and practicing break dancing with black yoofs to celebrate that made-up liberal holiday called Kwanzaa.- Continuing to reach out to every conceivable religious denomination in America, today the First Family has invited little Druid children to the White House to help them get ready to celebrate the Wiccan Sabbat of Yule as part of that religion’s Winter Solstice Celebration. A White House spokesman explained children would only be drinking grape juice, instead of the traditional goat’s blood during the ritual.
- Vice President Joe Biden, himself an orthodox Druid who doesn’t look Druish, will be offering Solstice Greetings to everyone observing the Wiccan Sabbat of Yule. Biden calls it a vibrant and energizing celebration, offering millions of Druid Americans an opportunity to enhance their self esteem by embracing the rich cultural traditions of their heritage. All that will also take place on December 21, since the Mayans were wrong when they predicted the world would end on that date in 2012.
This year, however, the importance of the Druid High Holy Day may be lost, since over-sexed Liberals are again planning to celebrate the Winter Solstice and wondering if there will be a World Orgasm for Peace Day in 2012, just like we all celebrated last year.- This year, however, the importance of the Druid High Holy Day may be lost, since over-sexed Liberals are again planning to celebrate the Winter Solstice and wondering if there will be a World Orgasm for Peace Day in 2013, just like we all celebrated last year.
Meanwhile, Obama Supporters in the Press continue celebrating the holidays during the Age of Obama, while front groups for Amnesty for Illegal Future DemocRAT Voters hope all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Me In The White House—Twice, like Tom and Rose would like to purchase a Grinch Obama Cancelling Christmas Tree Ornament for only $12.50, plus God-only-knows-how-much for shipping-and-handling, as Liberals plan to lie to their gullible followers for the 773 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.- And don’t forget at your local K-Mart, this year’s shipment of amazing Chabot Heads has been sitting in the markdown bin for local losers ever since Election Day 2008, along with copies of Ben-Gal Becky’s and Judge Mock’s cups, and of course, Rob “Fighting for Frankincense” Portman’s same-sex coloring book.
Now here’s an update on that Company Christmas Party you heard about in The Blower:
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 8
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! Isn’t it great that we’ve already celebrated Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours? That would’ve put a serious damper on our party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year may not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps Luigi’s can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party – the days are so short this time of year – or else package everything for take home in little foil swans. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men; each group will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men’s table. No cross-dressing allowed though, for the person asking permission to cross dress. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with high blood pressure problems to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics; the restaurant cannot supply “No Sugar” desserts.
Sorry!
Did I miss anything?
Patty
Your First Christmas Card
I love Christmas lights. They remind me of the people who voted for Obama. They all hang together; half of them don’t work, and the ones that do, aren’t all that bright. For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.
FEMINISTS ALSO REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer,
EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should’ve known… ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
Scrooge 2014
Last night on CBS’ “60 Minutes,” the Ghost of Teddy Kennedy clanked his chains up to the Monica Lewinsky exhibit at the Clinton Library and Massage Parlor in The Blower’s annual holiday adaptation of Dickens’ classic “A Christmas Carol,” as our country continues to suffer its Cultural Decline, which included Clinton’s dragging our national immorality down to the level of Arkansas, as well as the disastrous Liberal policies of the Obama Administration.
Clinton now says ever since Obama picked Hillary to be in his Cabinet and paid off her humongous campaign debt, Slick Willie espouses the real American values that caused the most Americans in history to elect George Bush president in 2000, including the story we just heard about our old Pants-Dropper-in-Chief trying to hook up with his old mistress Gennifer Flowers, wearing a hoodie as a disguise. We don’t know if his offer also including wearing a condom for the occasion. FDR is the Ghost of DemocRAT Values Past; Billionaire Bush-basher George Soros is the Ghost of DemocRAT Values Present; Liberal whacko Nancy Pelosi, our former Dimwit DemocRAT Speaker of the House, is ominous as the Ghost of DemocRAT Values Yet to Come; and PMSNBC’s Chris Matthews will warm the heart of your cockles as Tiny Tim, when he says, “God tax us, every one.”
MAKING A MOCKERY OF MULTI-CULTURALISM HOT LINE
e-mail your blasphemous bulletins today.
Some politically incorrect items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally politically incorrect subscribers
LINKS OF THE DAY
The Obama Christmas Song for Liberals
PLUS
Candlelight – The Maccabeats
Merry Christmas at the Mall
The True Story of Christmas
Musical Interruption – Carol Of The Bells
Achmed The Dead Terrorist Christmas Special
White Christmas Song Parody – “Wide Penis”
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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