Saturday, November 15, 2014

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire Update

OK, PERSONS OF CONSEQUENCE: It’s time to update your Whistleblower Lexicons. No longer will we be using the term “Disingenuous DemocRATS” when they don’t tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Our official term will now be “Dishonest DemocRATS” every time one of these lying bastards opens his mouth, because we’ve just recently learned how badly America got “Grubered” over ObamaCare.

MIT Professor Gruber was caught on video saying the law was deliberately written in a confusing way so “stupid” American voters wouldn’t understand the real cost to them and thus would be less likely to oppose it.

That’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose South Carolina Republican Congressman Trey Gowdy’s defiant message to Gruber, the Obamacare “architect” who said in 2013 that a lack of transparency and the “stupidity of the American voter” helped get the law through Congress. “You want to see how stupid our fellow citizens are? Take a look at last Tuesday night,” Gowdy said, referring to the sweeping GOP victories in the midterm elections, “Because they rejected you, this bill and this administration.”

OUR GARRULOUS GRAMMARIAN EXPLAINS: The Noun “Gruber” is a man who helped Obama and the Dishonest DemocRATS lie about ObamaCare because they think American voters are stupid.

Also, a new Verb “Grubered” means to be lied to by politicians because you’re to stupid to understand, especially all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice.

It’s not like The Blower didn’t try to warn you about Obama’s Lies. Remember “The Day ObamaCare Died – American Pie Parody,” uploaded on January 20, 2010?

TODAY’S “LIBERALS SAY THE STUPIDEST LIES” WINNER IS

Racist Black DemocRAT Congressman James Clyburn who equates Republicans opposed to Amnesty for Illegal Immigrants to Become Dishonest DemocRAT Voters with Pro-slavery Segregationists, appearing not surprisingly on PMSNBC.

More Local Liars

In Hamilton County, Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception hadn’t heard of the changes to The Whistleblower Lexicon when he was inspired by all that Post-Trial Jury Tampering at the Hamilton County Courthouse where Convicted Ditzy DemocRAT Juvie Judge Traci Hunter’s Criminal Attorney Clyde Bennett II got those Three Black Jurors to swear on a stack of Bibles, that they no longer wanted to stand by their guilty verdicts they originally swore to Judge Nadel were their “true verdicts.”

Artis’ Pre-Gubered Title for this Award Winning Illustration was “Who’s Zoomin’ Who?”

TURKEY OF THE YEAR CONTEST

Next Saturday is the deadline for nominations for The Blower’s 2014 Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Contest (sponsored by Dummy’s Restaurant).

And like everything else in The Blower, nominees will always be discriminated against on the basis of race, religion, color, sex, age, non-disqualifying physical or mental disability, national origin, sexual orientation, or any other basis covered by local law).

And don’t forget, Northern Kentucky turkeys won’t be left out, because separate winners will be awarded for both Ohio and the Bluegrass.

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S BRIBE LUNCH AT UNO’S PIZZERIA & GRILL, an overpaid Political Consultant asked Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane how The Blower has always been blessed by some great illustrators, like that time a year ago when Former Fishwrapper Cartoonist Jim Borgman was being honored by having his work included in the Cooperstown of Cartooning in Columbus at Ohio State University’s Billy Ireland Cartoon Library & Museum.

Hurley the Historian said Kane used to get a lot of coverage in the local press for his marvelous muckraking in the old days, and Jim Borgman even published some award-winning editorial cartoons lampooning one of Kane’s favorite “muckrakees,” Former Hamilton County Commissioner Norman Murdock, like this one showing the disgraced and deceased Commissioner as a used car salesman.

That vintage Borgman illustration of Murdock inspired satirical op-ed pieces by an unknown columnist for several years in the very Conservative, very much respected Mt. Washington Press, detailing the goings-on in the mythical “Patronage County,” where Commissioners Pilfer, Filch, and Swindle held sway. You’ll never guess why so many people thought “Stormin’ Norman” was Commissioner Swindle.

No wonder Murdock’s wet dreams of being governor evaporated.

REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.

More Conservative Political Cartoons

MORE LIBERAL LIES HOT LINE

e-mail your egregious examples today.

Some falsifying items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally falsifying subscribers

WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

65 Outrageous Obama Lies

Published on September 14, 2011 by The East County Underground at MY 1079 FM, which means there’ve been a really big bunch of egregious lies and broken promises by this President since then that weren’t even included.

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Persons of Consequence can now follow the on-going antics of the –dare we say, “mythical?”– cast of characters from The Blower’s archived columns. These articles will be Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s attempt to encourage undiscovered young writers, such as this brand new columnist who shares his acute and oh-so-accurate take on local Politics as Usual in satirical Patronage County.

An Encore Publication—Held Over From Last Week

“No Explanations” by James Jay Schifrin

Nothing much happened at the Patronage County Political Headquarters Wednesday morning, except that Hereditary Party Chairman Peter Principal came out of hiding long enough to answer a few questions from the news media.

“How do explain your party’s disastrous local showing in the state-wide races?” asked Dummy Byline, political reporter for the Patronage County Innuendo.

“Our candidate or governor lost big all over the state,” Principal said. “So why is everybody blaming us?”

“Because,” pressed Byline, “the state party expected a 50,000 vote margin from Patronage County, the same as always. This year, your statewide ticket lost here by 20,000 votes.”

“Maybe people were more concerned with the economy than we thought,” Principal conceded.

“Then how do you explain Commissioner Swindle’s and your other local candidates’ winning by 100,000 votes in the same election?” asked Waldo Whitewash, fearless flack for The Compost.

“Times are tough,” Principal said. “I guess our courthouse employees wanted to keep their jobs.”

“We know we shouldn’t underestimate the clout of a courthouse machine in a local election,” Whitewash followed up, “but can they really have that much impact? How do you explain Swindle’s victory margin?”

“Well, in Swindle’s case, it was easy,” Principal said. “If all his creditors had voted for him, he would’ve won by even more.”

Then the only thing local to report is that Commissioner Swindle and his cronies will be with us for four more years,” Whitewash told Byline as they headed for the nearest bar.

“Isn’t that what they said about Nixon,” Byline asked, “right before Watergate?”

This op-ed column first appeared in the Mt. Washington Press on November 10, 1982.

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here