STILL WAITING FOR LITTLE TECHNICAL SUPPORT
Today’s Week in Review E-dition may be shorter than usual, because ever since Election Day, everybody at The Blower has been trying to figure out why thousands of e-mails we have attempted to send Persons of Consequence with Fuse.net and Zoomtown accounts have all been returned marked “Message blocked due to spam content in the message.”
Do you think it could have been because of something we’d written?
Sunday, November 9, 2014
The Whistleblower Week in Review
- OUR NUMBER ONE EDWARD CROPPER EDITORIAL SPOOF ON CURRENT EVENTS THIS WEEK shows us Obama’s Post Election Spin Session at the White House.
- OUR NUMBER TWO EDWARD CROPPER EDITORIAL SPOOF ON CURRENT EVENTS THIS WEEK shows us Obama greeting Republican Senate Majority Leader Elect McConnell in the Oval Office.
- AND OUR NUMBER THREE EDWARD CROPPER EDITORIAL SPOOF ON CURRENT EVENTS THIS WEEK shows us Obama’s replacement for Attorney General Eric Holder, who was forced to Resign in Disgrace.
You can see more of Mr. Cropper fine work HERE.
- MONDAY in our Special “Indecision 2014” E-dition, The Blower said, “This Year’s Long Noxious Nightmare Is Almost Over!”
We Won’t Endorse….
by Charles Foster Kane
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher
Before every election, The Whistleblower is always deluged with calls, faxes, text messages, and e-mails asking which candidates and issues we plan to endorse. As the official publication for all that scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing which will be forever known as Indecision 2014, our readers have every right to expect nothing less. But the fact that only one day before the Midterm elections, after all of our penetrating reporting and scathing commentary, there can be any doubt about which candidates or issues we might cheer or jeer is further tribute to the astounding even-handedness of our always fair-and-balanced journalism.
[READ MORE HERE]
- TUESDAY in our Official “Election Day Debacle” E-dition, The Blower said, “The 2016 Campaign Officially Begins As Soon As The Polls Are Closed!” and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
With his latest poll numbers in the crapper, I bet Obama’s glad Election Day today isn’t a do-over of the 2012 elections. — Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus
On this date in 1948, Tom Dewey woke up to discover he had not been elected president like the Chicago newspaper said. How do you think Obama’s going to feel on Wednesday? —Hurley the Historian
Republicans really got what they wanted this year. Unfortunately, Indecision 2014 is a referendum on Obama’s Incompetence, and ours. —Harry Reid and his Disingenuous DemocRATS in the Senate
Mitt Romney says today may be the last chance for voters to pass judgment on Obama in a National Election, but we still have 808 days left remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term (unless he’s impeached). —Obama Supporters in the Press
You mean he really doesn’t get to run again in 2016? —Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice
[READ MORE HERE]
- WEDNESDAY in our “Twenty-Second Anniversary” Edition, The Blower said, “Chabot Wins!”
We’re Still Staying Around
The Whistleblower Newswire came out of retirement twenty-two years ago on the day after Election Day in 1992 following our decision to suspend publication a year earlier.
Hurley the Historian says we had to return. Our November 5, 1991 Edition # 75 of the original Whistleblower print edition was supposed to be our final edition. But after witnessing an endless barrage of biased reporting and the unmitigated mess the news media made of Campaign ’92, the results of that year’s elections were not all that surprising.
Voters in ’92, 95% of whom learned all they knew by watching daily distortions on local and national TV newscasts, sent to the White House, a draft-dodging, tax-evading, dope-smoking, pants-dropping, wife-cheating liar whom The Blower predicted would surely drag this nation down to the level of Arkansas.
America got a leader it truly deserved— more arrogant than JFK, fewer scruples than LBJ, and rivaling the Carter-Mondale administration for sheer stupidity.
Fast forward to the Media’s Obama-nation of 2014: It has been the most dishonest, relentlessly one-sided campaign of bias and distortion by the mainstream media in American history. We thought we’d already witnessed the “Death of Objective Journalism in America,” but unfortunately, this year our Obama Supporters in the Press are still too lazy, too stupid, or too dishonest to bring you the truth.
- THURSDAY, in our Special “Post-Election Gloating” E-dition, The Blower said, “We Told You So!”
IS IT OVER? Have the people finally spoken? Every Election Day, fewer people of interest show up to celebrate at the Board of Elections on Election Night. This year the food was so bad, the homeless sent it back. Maybe it was all that crow being served.
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR NATIONAL POLITICAL AFFAIRS ANALYST BRITT HUMUS says now with only 733 more days until the 2016 Elections, Political Pundits are trying to figure out what Tuesday’s Mid-Term elections imply for the time remaining throughout the 806 days remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term (unless he’s impeached).
- FRIDAY, in our “Just Another Guest Column E-dition, The Blower explained, “But It’s Still the Same Old BS!”
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
It’s former WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Darryl Parks. Our Faux Facebook Friend is now communicating his deep thoughts on his unfiltered blog mostly about the Media and Culture. Wednesday’s entry (Stupid Voters Want Conservative Government – Vote Themselves Tax Increases) included this insightful observation: “On Tuesday, the Senate swung to a Republican majority. Ohio reelected a Republican governor and countless other Republicans were reelected or gained office. Voters put them in office because of their conservative ideals, while at the same couldn’t vote fast enough to approve all those additional tax levies.”
That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in recognizing real Conservative guest columnists, is pleased to permit a guy who appears to have always known what The Blower’s been saying to be today’s guest editor to choose three items plus a quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors.
[READ MORE HERE]
- SATURDAY in Special “Saturday Morning Quarterback” E-dition, The Blower said, “Here’s More Hindsight and Second-Guessing!”
Republicans Need to Bury Obama, Not to Praise Him
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR NATIONAL POLITICAL AFFAIRS ANALYST BRITT HUMUS is concerned about all those Republicans still congratulating themselves about winning all those seats in the House and Senate Tuesday night, because the GOP didn’t win the Senate, the Dysfunctional DemocRATS lost it.
But what everybody’s really surprised about so far is that Boehner and McConnell haven’t caved in to Obama yet, because Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says the ink’s scarcely dry on Tuesday’s ballots, and most voters (59%) already expect the new Republican majority in Congress will let them down. Friday, according to the Washington Free Beacon, White House Chief of Staff Denis McDonough told PMSNBC’s Chris Jansing that under a new Republican-led Congress, Washington will “work better,” as long as Obama gets his way.
Locally, Troubled Over-Taxed Payer Tino Delgato says only the City of Cincinnati would hire a $120,000-per-year “Performance Boss” to try figure out how the City could save a little spare change. They made this move after spending $133 million on Folly Trolley Folly that will never be self sustaining. The first thing he should suggest is to get rid of his job $120K job. Go Figure!!!
Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says that guy’s first suggestion should be finding all that money the City was planning to rake in during The 2014 Bungals’ playoff games. Bookies at the Pete Rose Betting Parlor say, “if you had the Bungals and 20 ½ points against Browns Thursday night, you still lost” because Marvin’s Misfits played like the Defeated DemocRATS did on Tuesday night.
The Libtard Show With Dixon Diaz
This Week’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda
What’s There to Celebrate Anyway?
Republicans were all high-fivin’ each other Tuesday night when Obama Supporters in the Press were forced to report the GOP had won enough seats to control both the House and the Senate, but the next day, while Republican Leaders Boehner and McConnell were laying out the priorities, Obama vowed to use his executive power to secure Amnesty for Future DemocRAT Voters and protect ObamaCare, setting up a certain clash of agendas that would surely set the tone in Washington for the next two years.
Other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, DemocRATS In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards:
Other Liberal Agenda Items will have to wait too, including: PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Fanatical Feminists, Supporting Sodomy Rites, Global Warming: G-Uncontrol, Liberal Brainwashing In Schools, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, Scalping the Washington Redskins, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money.
TODAY’S “LIBERALS SAY THE STUPIDEST THINGS” AWARD goes to
David Axelrod, who says, “Republicans Need To Show That They Can Work With This President.”
Perhaps Obama’s long-time adviser hadn’t heard that all those Republicans were elected to stop Obama, not to work with him.
The Feck Stops Here
It’s been wall-to-wall caterwauling by Kneepad Liberals at The Fishwrap after the wheels were blown off the Gay Marriage Bandwagon on Thursday, when a three-judge panel of the 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals stunningly affirmed the rights of voters in four states – Kentucky, Michigan, Ohio and Tennessee – to define marriage as the union of one man and one woman, throwing a boulder into the millpond of complacent assumptions by homosexual-rights advocates that same-sex marriage is a given across the United States.
The Blower says, it’s amazing how Kneepad Liberals in the Press keep calling it a “same-sex ban,” rather than what it is: support for a Constitutional law defining the age-old and completely natural institution of marriage between one man and one woman as the law of the land, as if it weren’t the natural law of the species in the first place, and we mean “ALL species,” too!
Remember what The Fishwrap always says, PC Fanatics: It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made our area great, it’s our “Diversity.”
More Politics Unusual
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Fallon’s “Now that the midterm elections are over, President Obama has invited congressional leaders from both parties to a meeting at the White House tomorrow. When asked if he’s nervous, Obama said, “Oh, I’m not going to be there. I just invited them over. They can figure it out themselves.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #316 is to tell a joke:
Why should liberals be buried 100 feet below the ground?
A. Because deep down they are really good people.
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says, America’s in the eye of a hurricane. The storm of Election 2014 is over, and we have a little calm until the new Republican Congress and our lame duck president face each other down beginning in January. Just 27% of voters think the country is heading in the right direction, but that was before Election Day. It’ll be interesting to see if that number moves noticeably up or down because of the outcome of Tuesday’s voting. [READ MORE HERE]
THIS WEEK IN PATRONAGE COUNTY, Persons of Consequence can now follow the on-going antics of the –dare we say, “mythical?”– cast of characters from The Blower’s archived columns. These articles will be Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s attempt to encourage undiscovered young writers, such as our brand new columnist who shares his acute and oh-so-accurate take on local Politics as Usual in satirical Patronage County. This week’s column titled “No Explanations” first appeared in the Mt. Washington Press on November 10, 1982, personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols. - HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1875, followers of Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse were identified as “hostile.” But today, the Obama Administration would still not call them “terrorists.”
- MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Custer’s “Where in the hell did all those fucking terrorists come from?” when he was wiped out be those Murdering Redskins at the Battle of the Little Big Horn on June 25, 1876.
MORE POLITICAL POETRY: Election Day is over and we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves.
A Government You Deserve
Congress is a sorry lot
But that is nothing new.
So you folks should not complain too much
Since they were voted in by you.
THE MUCK STOPS HERE: With Ohio still appealing Liberal Whacko Judge Tim Black’s ruling in favor of COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney’s case to allow those same politicians the “Right to Lie” during political campaigns, the Muck will still be flying during only 703 more days until the 2016 Midterm Election.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. [READ MORE HERE]
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says the powerful rebound off the October 15 lows has been very impressive. The S&P 500 finished last week with three consecutive record closes. No one expected this just one month ago. Despite this extremely bullish action the market is sending off some very cautious signals. 
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice.
FINALLY AT SATURDAY’S MEETING OF CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if there were any local lessons to be learned from the 2014 Mid-Term Elections. “There was really nothing for Conservatives to celebrate,” Kane explained, “not when people in Ohio, who claimed they wanted less government, voted to send even more money to local governments and tax themselves even more!”
IS IT COLLECTION TIME AGAIN?
Once again, it’s “Collection Time,” and this weekend your Neighborhood News Boy or Girl will be stopping by to collect $3.50 for delivery of this month’s Blower. The children retain half of this amount plus any tips you give them to reward good service.
This week we’re featuring Eldon Pudpuller was a very troubled 12-year-old lad who ran up a whopping $38,000 telephone bill last month making calls to 1-900 phone-sex lines. But that was before he became a Whistleblower Neighborhood News Boy. For information about our carrier program, please call Mr. Scamwell at our circulation department.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
Monday (November 10) will be our Annual Veterans Day E-dition, and there will still be 802 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.- Tuesday (November 11) will actually be the Veterans Day Federal holiday and members of the military past and present will be eating free at patriotic restaurants all over town, and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be telling us if the see Draft Dodger Bill Cunningham and any of those other Freeloaders Pretending to be Veterans scamming free meals too.
- Wednesday (November 12) we’ll be “Going Galt” looking for ways to avoid paying taxes.
- Thursday (November 13) is “Sadie Hawkins Day,” when every single woman chases men, and if she catch one, he has to marry her.
- The first line of Friday’s (November 14) limerick is: “This year on Veterans Day.”
- And Saturday (November 15) we we’ll be returning to Patronage County for our weekly visit, sort of like when Garrison Keillor visits Lake Wobegon.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Doomed DemocRATS Attorney General Candidate David Pepper and Probate Judge Candidate Charlie Luken, shown campaigning, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Tim Scott and PMSNBC
(Republican Senator Tim Scott, R-S.C., explained during an appearance on PMSNBC on Thursday that it is the Republican Party and its support for things being conducted at the local level, and not the Democratic Party, that has helped people like him rise from poverty and become successful.
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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