Saturday, October 25, 2014
They Ought to Have a Special Section in The Fishwrap
YESTERDAY’S WINNER of our “Liberals Say the Stupidest Things Award” was Disgraced DemoCRAT State Senator Kearney, who had to drop out of his race for Lt. Governor just because folks wouldn’t cut him some slack for being a little late on a few tax payments for his ridiculous suggestion of renaming the Norwood Lateral after Obama.
Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows us what that Road to Nowhere might look like.
Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin says you’d EXPECT a road named for the likes of Obama in a t’rd world place like Tanzania.
But name a road in the United States of America after a lawless occupier of our Oval Office? After an empty suit who scorns the office he occupies? Who violates the Presidential Oath of Office every day? After one whose string-pullers and teleprompter scripters would “transform” this Nation into another Tanzania? No damn way!
And our Compassionate Conservative says “Senator Kearney wants to name the Norwood Lateral the Obama highway! Are you kidding? What has he done for Norwood? How about renaming MLK the Hussein Obama Highway? The Blower supposes there is no story too stupid for Feckless Female Fishwrapper Sherry Coolidge to write about. Just the kind of silly stuff all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, must like.
RANCID TEA: Ohio TEA Party Guy Tom Zawistowski reacted to Thursday’s ruling by the US District Court dismissing two law suits against the IRS by TEA Party Groups and other Conservatives groups, including the Portage County TEA Party, by calling the action “Bizarre.” Zawistowski pointed out that Judge Walton made it clear that the suits were dismissed “on procedural grounds” and not on the merits of the case. So maybe that IRS Court Ruling did not the end of the TEA Party’s fight for truth, justice, and the American Way just yet. 
MORE TURPIN TROUBLEMAKERS: Thursday, The Fishwrap actually reported that story about four McNicholas High School freshmen (probably Turpin residents) who were suspended from school for five days and dismissed from the freshmen football team last week after what the school is calling an “inappropriate incident” in the locker room, that is if holding down one of you classmates so another one of your friends can stick his bare buttocks in the guy’s face could be called “inappropriate.” 
Curiously, nobody but The Blower in the local news media has dared to report how another Turpin Sophomore we’ll call Muhammed was officially chosen Poster Boy for the Forrest Gump School’s $103 million Transformation Tax Hike that will really cost dumbed-down voters $170 million, after he got himself arrested for painting a vile-and-disgusting penis on the Anderson football field before last weekend’s big annual Anderson-Turpin football game. Metro Mole says down at The Fishwrap, they must’ve missed The Whistleblower’s coverage each of the 103 times The Blower mentioned the Penis Bowl Incident during the past two weeks.
RINO ALERT: Members of the Anderson Township Republican Club are wondering if they should now be changing the name of their organization. to the Anderson Township RINO Preserve, after Club President Josh Gerth was caught shilling for the Forrest Gump Schools.
And you thought The Blower was kidding when we showed you the Top Ten Reasons Conservative Anderson Trustee Josh Gerth was speaking at rallies in favor of that Humongous $103 million Forrest Gump School District Tax Hike that will really cost dumbed-down voters $170 million:
SPEAKING OF VIDEOS: Here’s a hit piece supporting Convicted Ditzy DemocRAT Juvie Judge Traci Hunter from a lady named Vanessa Enoch, who is supposedly a doctoral student. At about 5:02 in the video, Firooz Namei (who is Iranian and a flaming liberal) and Blower Barrister James “The Rock” Bogen are on a chart of supposed white supremacists (spelled “supremists” by the supposed doctoral student). “The Rock” happens to be half Asian (his mom is from Hong Kong). [WATCH IT HERE]- TROUBLED OVER-TAXED PAYER TINO DELGATO says the big question is IF Tracie Hunter gets a new trial will SHE testify on her behalf. It is so odd that she can talk so much OUTSIDE of the courtroom but become mute inside the courtroom. She has moved past Hustler publisher Larry Flynt for biggest waste of local over-taxed payer’s money.
And did you hear the one about forgotten but not gone? As Tracie is No longer garnering pay they could drag their feet on the retrial. Also if found guilty again SHE should pay for the prosecution’s lawyer fees NOT the over-taxed payers. Keep in mind she risks being found guilty on more than one count, too. Hopefully the Ohio Supreme Court will end this debacle and disbar her. Hers will be the most expensive judgeship in the history of Ohio. I can only hope she and Bull Dog Deters will team up as the new Freebie and the Bean or Dumb and Dumber. Go Figure!!!
Traci Hunter fans will no doubt enjoy reading the where the Ohio Supreme Court’s, upon consideration thereof and pursuant to Gov.Bar R. V(5)(A)(4), ordered and decreed that Tracie M. Hunter, Attorney Registration No. 0061225, last known business address in Cincinnati, Ohio, is suspended from the practice of law for an interim period, effective as of the date of this entry. [READ IT HERE]
RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: Lincoln Be-ware of da Buzz just rambled on about the “NY hatchet man” and how the cops didn’t kill him ’cause he was white. He said because he was white he wasn’t shot by da polic. Lincoln needs to stop spreading ill will toward the cops who shoot “criminals.” Yes, the hatchet guy was not black and the cops did kill him! He deserved it. He slammed a hatchet in the head of a rookie cop. Do a heinous crime and you might end up dead, if you are black or white.- FILING DEADLINE: Any candidate for Ohio General Assembly was supposed to file his finance report to Secretary of State by 4:00 on Thursday, unless they didn’t raise or spend $1,000. As of that time, the Doofus DemocRAT running against Returning 27th Ohio House District State Rep-Tile “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman had not filed, so either was late filing or he had not met the $1,000 threshold.
Brinkman’s sign guy says “TaxKiller’s” nomination this Spring was the best news he’s have had since 2008. He’s responsible for Brinkman’s signage along Columbia Parkway, around Coney Island, and Red Bank Road area…some in Mount Lookout…Beechmont hill into Mt. Washington, and some areas around Mt. Washington. So far this campaign The Blower’s seen two “Go Brinkman Stop Common Core” signs by Coney Island, one “Brinkman” sign on Sutton by Salem, one “Go Brinkman” at Erie and Red bank, one “Brinkman” on Clough Pike at Nagel, and Tom’s daughter out of the district has a “Brinkman for Auditor” sign up. Who says “TaxKiller” isn’t campaigning all out this year?
And appearing on that League of Women Vipers debate on Anderson Cable TV didn’t do Doofus much good after all. It didn’t do Anderson Cable TV much good either, since the ratings were so bad, the following week, Anderson Cable TV announced it was going out of business. Anderson Trustee Angry Andy Pappas says those guys just don’t know how to make good TV programs like this.
- Here is a crappy photo of Republican candidates supporting Jonathan Dever after renouncing the dirty lies his opponent made about him and defending the dirty lies he is saying about his opponent. Noted soon to be X-Rep-tile Peter “the best legislator money and Chippy Gerhardt could buy” $tautberg were in attendance. Not surprisingly, State Rep-tile to be “Tax killer Tom” Brinkman was MIA. “Tax killer” was not invited because he could not have lied about the dirty lies and said they were untrue.
BORED OF ELECTIONS: This week, the Hamilton County Board of Elections had received just over 55,000 requests for absentee ballots. That’s close to a 20% decrease from 2010. Only 1,100 people had voted early in-person. That’s less than 1/2 of 2010 at this point. - Every year before elections we see letters to the editor complaining that The Fishwrap always endorses Republicans over DemocRATS in local elections. Our Disgruntled DemocRAT says maybe Hamilton County Demo Labor Party Boss Tim Burka should stop putting up such crappy candidates.
THE BLIND LEADING THE BLIND: Just as Republicans across America have been outraged to learn that the Bush Administration knew all along that American soldiers had located stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction and sat in the evidence, some local Republicans are wondering why the clueless wonders at Club 700 is sitting on photographic evidence of a DemocRAT campaign manager stealing his Republican opponent’s yard signs in broad daylight. Especially when the Republican victim is one of the “chosen ones” the party supposedly cares about.- MORE GREAT TIMING: With the 2014 elections just 10days away, you’d expect the party leaders and activists to be out working for candidates. Maybe they will be going door-to-door, maybe they will be manning the phone banks, and maybe there will be some last-minute fund-raising. Maybe there will be a rally to try and build some enthusiasm for the party’s tickets. Not so in Hamilton County. Guess where YOUR Republican Party was on Friday?
Looks like the clueless wonders down at Club 700 didn’t learn anything about working hard after getting shellacked in 2012.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1929, Albert B. Fall, who served as Secretary of the Interior in President Warren G. Harding’s cabinet, was found guilty of accepting a bribe while in office during the Teapot Dome scandal, and these days everybody’s still wondering why John Gilligan’s Ditzy Daughter Kathleen Sebelius and all those people Obama appointed to his Cabinet haven’t been indicted, too.- THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Ronald Reagan’s “I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I’m in a cabinet meeting,” but The Blower liked Former Pants-Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton’s “If I become president, I will have a Cabinet that looks like America,” especially the part about putting Monica under table.
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says Greedy TV Ad Salesmen at Stations in Ohio are high-fiving each other all over the office celebrating last minute purchases of TV time for Alison Wondergams Grimes and Bitch McConnell battling for Kentucky’s U.S. Senate seat, especially since so many viewers those campaigns are paying to reach reside in Ohio and Indiana and can’t vote in Kentucky. Grimes and McConnell face masks are almost sold out for Halloween.
Too bad “Honest Gil” Fulbright isn’t really running for Senate. His commercials were certainly a lot more fun.
- AND SPEAKING OF HALLOWEEN: Check your datebook, Persons of Consequence. Miss Vicki wants to know if everybody’s received his invitation to her Annual NoKY A-List Halloween Party this year.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if The Blower would be publishing a Voter Guide this year before the November 4 Elections in only 10 more days. For years The Blower had the only Voter Guide,” Kane explained. “Now everybody’s trying to get in on the act”: Citizens for Community Values has a Voter’s Guide. In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says The Dispatch has a Voter’s Guide. Ohio Citizens PAC has a Voter’s Guide. Buckeye Firearms Association has a Voter’s Guide. Ohio Christian Alliance has a Voter’s Guide. Ohio Right to Life has a Voter’s Guide The New American Freedom Index has a Voter’s Guide.
Ohio Supreme Court Voter Information has a Voter’s Guide. State Board of Education Candidates Who Support Repeal of Common Core has a Voter’s Guide. Every Conservative Organization in Creation has a Voter’s Guide. Even The Fishwrap plans to have a Voter’s Guide, and our Sarcastic Sage says he’s sure everybody can’t wait to see that.
MORE SIGN WARS
TODAY’S “LIBERALS SAY THE STUPIDEST THINGS” WINNER is
DemocRAT Alaska Senator Mark Begich might be facing attacks from Republicans over his degree of support for Obama’s policies, after he said, “The president’s not relevant. He’s gone in two years.”
DELIBERATE DUMBING DOWN OF AMERICA HOT LINE
e-mail your egregious examples today.
Some dumbed down items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally dumbed down subscribers.
POLITICAL CARTOONS FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
TIME FOR A CULTURE BREAK DURING THE AGE OF OBAMA
(Sent in by OUR Good Friend Bobby Leach, who is now really beginning to enjoy classical music.)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
“For the Children” by James Jay Schifrin
This week our Patronage County Commissioners were once again breaking the Sunshine Law when they were engaged in an illegal meeting where county business is being discussed. “I’m afraid the Patronage County Schools Tax Hike is going down to defeat,” said Commissioner Filch. “Somehow the voters have caught on that it’s a really bad deal.”
“Someone must’ve shown people how to figure out what the Tax Hike would actually be costing them,” said Commissioner Swindle.
“You mean that old $100,000 house comparison isn’t still working this year?” asked Commission Pilfer.
“It’s like a low-ball price in a used car commercial,” explained Commissioner Swindle. “People found out how much their Tax Hikes would be on the Auditor’s web page.”
“Not only that, they were reminded how much school taxes they were already paying,” added Commissioner Filch.
“A couple of hundred dollar Tax Hike is bad enough,” Commissioner Swindle interrupted, “but when voters remember they’re already paying thousands of dollars in school taxes, it turns out to be a pretty tough sell. So many people pay their property taxes through escrow they don’t pay attention. That’s the really sinister thing about real estate taxes.”
“And one of the so-called ‘fiscally conservative’ even got caught shilling for the Tax Hikers,” said Commissioner Pilfer.
“Maybe the Tax Hikers promised him his own neighborhood school for his kids to walk to,” said Commissioner Swindle, “TEA Party Patriots won’t want to see him running on an anti-tax, conservative platform next time around.”
“Tax Hikers say it’s all about keeping the Patronage County strong with a strong and safe school system,” bemoaned Commissioner Filch.
“That’s all well and good,” said Commissioner Swindle, “But, what about all those families leaving Patronage County because of the taxes? Another neighbor of mine just moved across the county line to a comparable house because of taxes! We lose more good people each year because of Tax Hikes.”
“But isn’t there anything Patronage County Schools could do to convince Voters they’re getting something for their money,” asked Commissioner Pilfer, “so that asking voters to pay more didn’t seem so unreasonable?”
“Maybe they could make sure when the kids came home from school they could read and write cursive,” Commissioner Swindle said.
This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
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