Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
- Please stop reminding people about Obama’s declaration that the chances of an Ebola outbreak in the U.S. would be “extremely rare.” — Obama’s White House Spinner Josh Earnest
- You mean we were actually supposed to monitor people who came into contact with the First Ebola Victim who died? —CDC (Center for Disease Confusion
- Please don’t ask why we funded research on why lesbians are fat instead of Ebola. —Obama’s National Institute of Health
What we need is an “Ebola Czar.” —Senile Senator John McRINO- Ebola was spreading and ISIS was winning last weekend, but Obama was on the golf course for the 200th time. —Bagger Vance
- What’s Ebola. —All those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice
- Obama’s National Security Adviser Susan Rice said the Obama administration is not reassessing its strategy to defeat the Islamic State (ISIL or ISIS or whatever we’re calling them
these days) even as airstrikes prove ineffective in stopping the advance and spread of the terrorist organization in Iraq and Syria. —Today’s Liberals Say the Stupidest Thing Award Committee - On this date in 1964, African American civil rights leader Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. And although some Obama Supporters in the Press might mention that “historic” event today, do you think they’ll also mention that Martin Luther King was a Republican? — Hurley the Historian
- That’s why we chose South Carolina Congressman Tim Scott’s “I feel like I’m the tip of the arrow at times because certainly the national media wants to talk about the fact that I’m a black Republican and some people think of
that as zany that a black person would be a conservative but to me what is zany is any person black, white, red, brown or yellow not being a conservative.” —Your Quote for Today Committee - Do you think Ohio Republican Governor Kasich-Taylor was surprised when we showed up at his campaign stop at the Ronald Reagan Lodge at Voice of America Park to protest his position on Common Core? —Cincinnati TEA Party Patriots
- Does anybody think we won’t have a Traci Hunter puff piece on our front page Tuesday when our Ditzy DemocRAT Juvie Judge’s Jurors return to vote on the other eight felony charges they didn’t decide last week? —Feckless Fishwrappers
Will The Blower be cutting me some slack on my membership in the “Stupid Streetcar Six” after I called for the City to declare Deadbeat Liz Rogers in default of her loan and grant – and initiate foreclosure on Rogers’ Butler County restaurant, which is collateral on the city loan? —Kevin Flynn Flam- Is Liberal DemocRAT Charlie Luken doing as good a job trying to make people believe he’s “Conservative” in his Hamilton County Probate Court campaign as I am trying to convince my Black voters I’m not an Uncle Tom in my Black District State Senate race? —The Windbag
What do you mean I’m not campaigning? I already have one yard sign up in Republican Anderson Township. —“Taxkiller Tom” Brinkman- Was this the most boring League of Women Vipers Debate we’ve ever shown on our station, or what? —Anderson Community Cable
- Is it illegal for our supporters to put our DemocRAT signs in the public right-of-way on Clough Pike? —David Pepper, Marek Tyszkiewicz, Joe Otis, and Dusty Rhodes
- Everybody’s wondering if we’ll be suppressing the news in Wednesday’s
edition about last weekend’s incident at Anderson High School when a Turpin student we’ll call Mohammed was arrested for painting a large penis on the Anderson football field before the big Anderson-Turpin football game. —Forest Hills Urinal - That case is currently “under investigation.” Remember when we couldn’t give you all the details when Defeated and Disgraced Anderson Trustee Kevin “Big Spanky” O’Brien was arrested for masturbating in a Wellborn woman’s car? —The Hamilton County Sheriff’s Department
- That kind of bad news wouldn’t help convince residents who don’t have children in schools to support our $103 million tax levy that would really cost voters more than $170 million. —Teachers and Administrators illegally campaigning on the over-taxed payers’ time
And Friday night we kicked Turpin’s ass 21-14. —Anderson Redskins (We’re Not Changing Our Name Either) - What do you mean our friendly rivalry has turned to hatred? I don’t see any “division” in the district. —Forrest Gump School Board President Jim Frooman (Turpin Resident)
- This is exactly the reason why we need one high school in Anderson Township. We will never vote for a bond issue until they combine the high schools. —Outraged Over-taxed Payers
- Speaking of Sore Sports, Tommy Tupperware’s UC Bearcats’ defense is now ranked “Worst In America.” —Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall
Do you think Sunday’s 27-yard missed kick in overtime will be the last big disappointment of the Bungals’ 2014 season? —Typical Cincinnati Sports Fan Farley Fairweather- Speaking of Bungles, wouldn’t it be funny if The Fishwrap declared Ditzy DemocRAT Alison Wondergam Grimes the winner of Monday night’s debate over GOP Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell on Monday afternoon, even before it happened. —Kneepad Liberals in the Press
- And we surely won’t be asking Alison if she voted for Obama when she appears on our video-streaming interview with
our All-Vagina Idiotorial Board today. It should be just like watching “The View.” —Fishwrap Editrix Wedgie Washburn - Don’t forget, Hillary will be for a big rally in Louisville Wednesday night for Alison. Click here to let us know if you’re coming. —Bluegrass DemocRAT Party Fund-raiser Nathan “Cornbread” Smith
Please don’t ask if we got a congratulatory phone call from Michelle Obama when we banned birthday cake at our monthly children’s birthday parties. —Burlington Elementary School - When Columbus came to America there wasn’t any government. Look how far we’ve come. —Bluegrass TEA Party
- Is Columbus Day the only day when white Conservatives celebrate a Hispanic guy coming to America? —Redneck Republicans
- We were watching The History Channel and they said Christopher Columbus not only discovered America but killed all the aliens that were here first. —Moises, Julio, Alfredo, and Jose
- That’s why we changed the name of Columbus Day to “Indigenous People’s Day.” —Seattle City Clowncil
Our owner Dan Snyder sparked even more outrage on Sunday when he failed to give up our team name and invited the president of the largest Native American reservation to sit in his box at a game against the Arizona Cardinals. —The Washington Indigenous Peoples - I was sooo happy to be personally selected to be a Whistleblower Contributor by Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane. —Your Sarcastic Sage
- Please explain one more time why we don’t have Early Voting in Kentucky like they do in Ohio? —“Trish the Dish” on Channel 19 News
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Marek Tyszkiewicz, whoever the hell he/she is.
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of “Teenage Vandalism” to show that drawing pictures of a penis on a football field is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t obsessed by Penises.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Forest Gump School Board Members, hoping this bad publicity does keep Anderon Residents from voting for their $103 million tax levy that would really cost voters more than $170 million.
COLUMBUS DAY PROTEST HOT LINE
e-mail your cockamamie complaints today.
Some meaningless moaning in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally meaningless moaning subscribers.
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
Judge Jeanine Pirro Opening Statement – Have We Lost Our Minds & Sense Of Respect For Our Military?
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
