Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

What a mess! No one and I mean no one should be allowed to into the United States from any West African nation ravaged by Ebola and any American citizen who goes there and wants to come home needs to be quarantined for 21 days until we figure out what we’re doing. —Fox News Judge Jeanine Pirro
The Ebola virus has now infected thousands of victims in the U.S., making lame one-liners on social media. Many fear a bad-joke epidemic The scariest outbreak is happening on Twitter, with sick, racist tweets like “Wouldn’t Ebola be a cute name for a black baby?” —Late Night TV Jokewatchers
Since Ebola entered the U.S. because of Obama’s open-borders policy, shouldn’t we refer to him as “President Obola?” —Nationally Syndicated Radio Talk-Show Host Dr. Michael Savage, Who Claims To Have A Doctorate In Epidemiology
We promise never to bring that deadly disease across the U.S.-Mexico border in a bio-terror attack. —Your Friends at ISIS
Do you think Ebola patients will wait till Obama’s on the golf course, just to embarrass him? —Obama Supporters in the Press
Whites invented Ebola to kill Blacks. —Calypso Louie Farrakhan
Americans have little confidence Obama can protect them from Ebola, terrorist attacks or mass shootings. Only 2% are “extremely confident” the government can handle the unstable job market or the “economic uncertainty on Wall Street.” Plus, Americans also have little confidence Obama can reduce racial tensions, despite the fact that he’s the first half-black, half-white man ever elected. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
The Supreme Court’s decision late last month to allow Ohio’s new voting law to go into effect was racists against Black people. Just sayin’.—Obama’s Resigned in Disgrace Attorney General Eric Holder
On this date in 2001, less than a month after al-Qaeda terrorists flew commercial jets into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon on September 11, President Bush announced military action in Afghanistan. Can you imagine our military response if Obama had been in the White House? —Hurley the Historian
Maybe that’s why we chose Rudyard Kipling’s “When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains, and the women come out to cut up what remains, jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains and go to your gawd like a soldier.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
Joe Biden really hit the Trifecta this week. First he said being Vice President’s “a bitch.” Then Obama’s Doofus Vice President issued two more apologies to Turkey UAE for linking those countries to Al-Qaeda. —Today’s Liberals Say the Stupidest Thing Award
Try to avoid heavy traffic around Eighth and Broadway Downtown at 8:30 AM this morning with all those DemocRAT Vote Frauders lined up around the block to vote early and often in the 2014 Elections. —Hamilton County Board of Elections
Was yesterday really the last day to register to vote in Ohio? —All Those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice
Was Cincinnati Police Chief Blackwell showing respect when he walked off stage just prior to one of his predecessors’ Lifetime Achievement Award by the Crimestoppers of Greater Cincinnati? Maybe he’s just that much more important than Sheriff Neil, Coroner Sammarco, Cincinnati State President Dr. O’dell Owens…and a half dozen police chiefs! —Your FOP Snitch (Probably Not Kathy Harrell)
After the Supreme Court declined on Monday to take up same-sex marriage appeals from five states, maybe SOTUS is still waiting to hear from the 6th District to rule on Whacky Liberal Judge Tim Black’s decision to provide special rights for unnatural marriage to homosexuals. —Noted Homophobe Phil Burr-ass
Do you expect a small drop off in sales of season tickets and luxury boxes at UC’s $86 million renovated Nippert Stadium after Saturday night’s debacle? —UC Football Coach Tommy Tupperware
It’s a good thing the FCC is banning blackouts of home games, especially after the way Andy Dalton and the rest of Marvin Lewis’ Bungals embarrassed themselves and reverted to their traditional post-season form by losing big time on National TV Sunday night. —Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall
My jailhouse lawyer says the only way he’d put me on the stand in my multiple felony trial would be if I had a sock in my mouth. —Ditzy DemocRAT Juvie Judge Traci Hunter
Sometimes PACs use Robocalls to survey a candidate’s name recognition to see if he’s worth supporting financially. —Citizens for Community Values
If we agree to sign the Whistleblower Pledge to allow the audience to say the Pledge of Allegiance when Feckless Fishwrap Editrix Wedgie Washburn gives her opening remarks on October 7 at the Campaign Forum between Returning 27th Ohio House District State Rep-Tile “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman and his unnamed DemocRAT Opponent at the Anderson Center, could we at least omit the words “Under God,” so we won’t offend any Liberals, Muslims, or Atheists? —League of Women Vipers
Here’s your Forrest Gump October Surprise #2: Does anyone realize that Forest Hills has an operating levy on the ballot? Anyone notice the .5 mil “permanent improvement levy” tacked on to the bond levy? Anyone know the items to be paid for by the “PI” levy have always been covered out of operating funds? Anyone see that this part of the levy is in fact an additional operating levy not a bond levy? Do they think over-taxed taxpayers in Anderson won’t notice they were promised the last operating levy would last years longer than this? —Your Forrest Gump School Board
I’m still trying to find out if Clermont County is the only place Republicans have taken my name off their sample ballot this year. —Ohio Republican Governor Kasich-Taylor
My deposition delayed is a deposition denied. —Ed FitzGerald, Ohio Doomed DemocRAT Gubernatorial Candidate
But what difference at this point does it make. —Ohio’s Down-Ticket DemocRATS
Is it only a coincidence that Ohio Governor Kasich-Taylor’s office appointed me to the Southern State Community College Board of Trustees, just a little way up the road from the college where former Gentlewoman “Mean Jean” Schmidt claims she’s teaching political science these days? —Revered Former Ohio Congressman Bob McEwen
The reason people on my campaign staff don’t answer questions or return phone calls this year is because I really don’t have to campaign against Doomed DemocRAT Whatshisface who only got 3% of the vote when he ran as a Republican against “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup in 2012. —Ohio First District Congressman For Life Steve Chabothead
Did anybody see our “Pretty Wedding Dress” ad meant to inform young women about the upcoming gubernatorial elections? —College Republican National Committee
Our Lesbian-in-Residence Rachel Maddow couldn’t decide which one of those pretty women in the ad she wanted to do first. —PMSNBC Perverts
Wasn’t “Vivacious Vicky” Zwissler the Wyoming Hottie with the glasses featured in that ad? —Vicky’s Friends on Wyoming Clown-cil (the City not the State)
Political Analyists all over Kentucky were scratching their heads on Saturday, asking how many of Alison Wondergams Grimes’ Campaign’s $5 donations it took to pay for all those network commercials during Saturday’s “Ohio State” football game? —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
The network salesman assured us Kentucky Voters were big “Buckeye” fans. —Grimes Campaign Media Buyers
When I come in to campaign for Alison this month, I’ll really just be trying to raise money for my 2016 Presidential Campaign. —Hillary
We still can’t understand why Ohio voters need so-called Early Voting? —NoKY Voters
We only have Absentee voting in Kentucky. ——Kenton County Board of Elections
To get an “Absentee Ballot,” voters must actually write or go to the County Clerk’s Office and apply for one. — Campbell County Board of Elections
And Applicants must actually state a valid reason, under oath, why they can’t vote on Election Day like everyone else. — Boondoggle County Board of Elections
And after the election, we count the votes at my Kentucky State Board of Elections. And if they don’t turn out right, we recount them. And recount them again until they do. — Bluegrass Secretary of State Alison Wondergams Grimes
Please explain one more time why Early Voting doesn’t begin in Kentucky today? —“Trish the Dish” on Channel 19 News

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially the League of Women Vipers.

More Conservative Political Cartoons

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower makes fun of “Early Voting” to show that pandering to people who can’t figure out how to vote on Election Day is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t smart enough to vote anyway.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Dumbed-Down DemocRATS in Ohio who forgot to register to vote by yesterday’s deadline.

EBOLA SCARE HOT LINE

e-mail your serious symptoms today.

Some Liberal Bashing in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Liberal Bashing subscribers.

WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

Say Yes To Rick Scott

(Sent in by College Republican National Committee, The Voice Of Young Conservatives, Who Appear To Appreciate Sexy Older Women Almost As Much As We Do.)

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Whistleblower Newswire

Some of the News They Seem to Lose

Special “Obama’s Ebola Crisis” E-dition