Saturday, October 4, 2014
And A Lot of People Need to Atone This Year
Yom Kippur began last night at sundown and today is the most holy day of the year in the Jewish religion. It’s the time each year Jews are supposed to fast for an entire day and ask God to forgive them for all their transgressions during the previous year, especially all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House in 2008 and, would you believe— again in 2012.
- BARACK OBAMA, WARRIOR PRESIDENT, who’s already ruined the country and will still have 839 more days remaining in office unless he’s impeached, will never atone.
- HILLARY CLINTON, who’s still covering up her role in the murder of Ambassador Christopher Stevens, Glen Doherty, Sean Smith and Ty Woods in Benghazi, still hasn’t atoned.
MUSLIM SYMPATHIZER AWAN AFUQYA, who says the biggest difference between Muslims and Jews is that if Jews don’t like something you said about them, they probably won’t behead you, still hasn’t atoned.- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN, who says on this day in 1927, sculpting began on the face of Mount Rushmore in the Black Hills National Forest of South Dakota, still hasn’t atoned.
- SO-CALLED REPUBLICANS IN CONGRESS LIKE HOUSE SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER AND SENILE SENATOR JOHN McRINO, who can’t stop caving in to Obama, still haven’t atoned.
CONGRESSMAN “BRONZE STAR BRAD” WENSTRUP, who has never appeared at a Sycamorons Trustees Meeting since he’s been in office, still hasn’t atoned.- OHIO REPUBLICAN GOVERNOR KASICH-TAYLOR, who’s been busy running for president in 2016 this year because he can phone it in against his Doomed DemocRAT Gubernatorial opponent, still hasn’t atoned.
- CLERMONT COUNTY COMMISSIONER DAVE UIBLE, whose Clermont County Republican Central Committee removed Republican Governor John Kasich’s name from their sample ballot, still hasn’t atoned.
THE ENTIRE CINCINNATI REDS ORGANIZATION, who lost a record number of one run games this year and should really think about instituting batting practice in 2015, still haven’t felt it necessary to atone.- FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS, who continue to try to sell us the stupid idea that It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made America great, it’s our “Diversity,” still haven’t atoned.
- ROB “FIGHTING FOR FAGELLAS” PORTMAN, whose wet dream to be president will never ever happen since he came out in support of gay marriage, wishes he could find some way to atone.
HAMILTON COUNTY RINO PARTY BOSS ALEX T., MALL COP GOP, who guaranteed Cincinnati would have a Disingenuous DemocRAT Mayor for the next eight years by not even putting up a candidate in 2013, still hasn’t atoned.- DISGUISED DEMOCRAT JOHN CRANLEY AND EXTREMELY LIBERAL DEMOCRAT FOXY ROXY QUALLS, who don’t appear the least bit embarrassed to endorse Hillary Clinton for president in 2016, still haven’t atoned.
- THE SOUL FOOD SIX (Clown-sale Members Wendell Young,
Charlie Winburn, rich heiress boy Alexander Paul George Sittenfeld, Yvette Simpson, Laure “Not So” Cleanlivin’, and Cecil Thomas), who voted to piss away $1 Million of over-taxed payers’ money on Deadbeat Liz Rogers’ failed Mahogany’s Restaurant at the Banks, still haven’t atoned. - THE STUPID STEETCAR SIX (Clown- sale Members Flynn Flam,” Clown-cil Gay Chris Squealback, P.G. Sittenfeld, Yvette Simpson, and Wendell Young, along with Vice Mayor David Mann), who foolishly believed Dainty DemocRAT Mark Mallory’s Trolley Folly would be up and running before they had to face the voters again now that they have four-year terms, still haven’t atoned.
JEFFREY BLACKWELL, who The Fishwrap claims has “left his mark on Cincinnati” during his first year as Cincinnati Police Chief in the same way as your dog leaves his mark on the trees in your yard, still hasn’t atoned.- FIRED CINCINNATI CITY MANGLER MILTON DOUGH BOY HONEY, who selected Jeffrey Blackwell as a parting gift to the city that was going to get rid of him, still hasn’t atoned.
- HAMILTON COUNTY PROSECUTOR “JAYWALKING JOE” DETERS, who still delights in hounding Poor Black Women like DemocRAT Vote Frauder Melowese Richardson and Ditzy Juvenile Court Judge Traci Hunter into prison, still hasn’t atoned.
JUDGE NICK NADEL, who didn’t think it would be necessary to recuse himself from Ditzy DemocRAT Judge Traci Hunter’s Felony Trial and all that great publicity because of the upcoming Jewish Holidays, still hasn’t atoned, even when that media circus blew right threw Rosh Hashanah and now Yom Kippur, still hasn’t atoned.- AVARICIOUS ATTORNEY CHRIS FINNEY, who’s trying to put the Ohio Elections Commission out of business after Liberal Whacko Judge Tim Black’s ruling awarding politicians the “Right to Lie” during political campaigns, after Finney churned all those billable hours dragging “Mean Jean” Schmidt in front of that same Ohio Elections Commission, still hasn’t atoned.
DISBARRED GREEDY HEARSE-CHASING, DISGRACED DEMOCRAT, CLINTON-LOVING, FEN-PHEN SCANDAL PLAGUED, NOT-YET-INDICTED TRIAL ATTORNEY $TAN CHE$LEY, who used to pass out his business cards when he ushered at Plum Street Temple on Rosh Hashanah and You Kippur, still hasn’t atoned.- FOREST HILLS URINAL EDITOR RICHARD MALONEY, who says sometime next year they’ll get around to running letters to the editor from people who oppose the Forrest Gump School Board’s $103 million building bond issue on the November ballot that would increase everybody’s property taxes by hundreds and thousands of dollars, still hasn’t atoned.
THE LEAGUE OF WOMEN VIPERS, who haven’t signed the Whistleblower Pledge to allow the audience to say the Pledge of Allegiance when Feckless Fishwrap Editrix Wedgie Washburn gives her opening remarks on October 7 at the Campaign Forum between Returning 27th Ohio House District State Rep-Tile “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman and his unnamed DemocRAT Opponent at the Anderson Center, still hasn’t atoned.- ANTI-SEMITE SENATE CANDIDATES like that guy nobody ever heard of waving a “With Jews We Lose” sign in Florence, still hasn’t atoned.
- KENTUCKY U.S. SENATOR BITCH MCCONNELL, who still hasn’t
condemned a National Republican Senatorial Committee spokesman’s degrading-and-offensive characterization of Kentucky Secretary of State Alison Wondergams Grimes as “an empty dress,” still hasn’t atoned. - OUR GOOD FRIEND, KENTON COUNTY COMMONWEALTH ATTORNEY E ROB SANDERS, who still hasn’t sent us our link for this week’s “This Week in Kenton County Circuit Court” with all those pictures of druggies, scumbags, suspected hookers, and even a few pedophiles, still hasn’t atoned.
- THAT CABAL OF NOKY ATTORNEYS STILL OUT TO DESTROY ERIC “CALL ME CRAZY” DETERS INCLUDING LOVELY LISA WELLS (THE ATTORNEY WHO REPLACED CRAZY ERIC ON WLW HATE RADIO),
who still can’t stop celebrating “Crazy Eric’s” many misfortunes which are totally deserved and then some, still haven’t atoned. - RICK “THE BATBOY” ROBINSON, who invited us to lunch today since he knew we couldn’t go because today is Yom Kippur, while his former Graydon Head Partners have been making Jews feel welcome in Northern Kentucky since 2003, still hasn’t atoned.
- BLUEGRASS BUREAU CHIEF KEN CAMBOO, who tried to get the day off for Yom Kippur by claiming he was Jewish, still hasn’t atoned.
HORNY IN HEBRON, who forgot to e-mail us our Friday Porn Package yesterday, still hasn’t atoned.- OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE, who couldn’t come up with a decent quote for our Yom Kippur E-dition, still hasn’t atoned.
- FINALLY, BELOVED WHISTLEBLOWER PUBLISHER CHARLES FOSTER KANE, who says, “But what if you haven’t done anything to atone for?,” hasn’t atoned yet and probably never will.
Atone and Groan
This week, everybody who wondered what Jews would be atoning for this Yom Kippur, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is Sammy Schlepper, who says “Ask my wife. She can tell you all the things I need to atone for from the day we first met.”
Since Yom Kippur, apart from being the Day of Atonement, is also the day to give and receive of gifts, Sammy wins an “I Love Yom Kippur” T-Shirt, a “Jesus Was Jewish” bumper sticker, and an invitation to Rick Robinson’s Yom Kippur Lunch at the WOK on Saturday. His winning entry is:
On Yom Kippur Jews always atone
For things God does not condone.
But next year they say
More attention we’ll pay
To politicians we should disown.
And from the Anderson Laureate (who has enough problems going to Confession):
On Yom Kippur Jews always atone
But this year, they’ll REALLY weep and moan
Jews voted for Obama by 79%
Yahweh, please make them repent!
This awful truth chills me to the bone.
He made nice to the Arabs and Hamas
And kissed the behind of Abbas
Though they gave him their trust
He threw Israel under the bus
I hope this year, like Duran, Jews will say “no mas!”
REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.
OFFICIAL YOM KIPPUR HOTLINE
e-mail your awesome atonements today.
Some penitent items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally penitent subscribers.
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
Radio Days – Yom Kippur
PLUS
Bad Attitude on Yom Kippur
Don’t get Stuck this Holiday
Curb your Enthusiasm – High Holiday Ticket
(Sent in by Schnozzy Heimlich, c/o “Jews for Jesus,” Cincinnati, Ohio.)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
“DemocRAT Voter Fraud Delayed” By James Jay Schifrin
This week our Patronage County Commissioners were talking about how there was no more “Golden Week” for Dumbed Down DemocRATS,” after Ohio appealed a Liberal Doofus Federal Judge’s order in Columbus to the U.S. Supreme Court, and SOTUS returned the start of Early Voting in Ohio to the date provided by the duly elected General Assembly.
“Did you see where Hereditary Patronage County Party Boss Peter Principal got his name in a prestigious national publication like yesterday’s Whistleblower?” asked Commissioner Filch. “Principal was forced to lay off his entire Early Voting Staff at his Board of Elections for the whole week when Early Voting was delayed throughout every Middlesex, village, and farm county, and ‘hood’ in Ohio.”
“But at least Ohio Poll Workers will have 28 days of meaningless part-time busy work beginning next week, unlike poll workers in Kentucky,” explained Commissioner Swindle.
“Didn’t The Blower also report there’s no such thing as ‘Early Voting’ in the Bluegrass State? How can that be?” asked Commissioner Pilfer.
“They only have ‘Absentee Voting’ in Kentucky,” said Commissioner Swindle. “And to get an “Absentee Ballot,” voters actually have to write or go to the County Clerk’s Office and apply for one. And Applicants must actually state a valid reason, under oath, why they can’t vote on Election Day like everyone else.”
“So in Kentucky it’s not like Ohio where anybody can ‘vote early and often’ just because Disingenuous DemocRAT Party Bosses, Free-Stuff Dispensing Liberals, Rhyming Reverends, and Union Goons tell them to,” added Commissioner Filch.
“I can’t image all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, would enjoy living in Kentucky,” responded Pilfer.
“Maybe that’s why Kentucky legislators wrote their law that way,” Commissioner Swindle said.
This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
