Friday, October 3, 2014
Are They Lining Up Already?
Downtown DemocRATS were really depressed this week, especially after Ohio appealed a Liberal Doofus Federal Judge’s order in Columbus to the U.S. Supreme Court, and SOTUS said “No more Golden Week for Dumbed Down DemocRATS,” and returned the start of Early Voting in Ohio to the date provided by the duly elected General Assembly, and The Blower had to stop counting down the days, hours, and minutes until voting officially began Tuesday morning at the Hamilton County Board of Elections.
Early DemocRAT Voter Fraud in Ohio will now officially begin at your local Board of Elections next Tuesday morning at 8 am.
Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, please note.
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
Why, it’s none other than Hereditary Patronage County Party Boss Peter Principal, who was forced to lay off his entire Early Voting Staff at his Board of Elections for the whole week when Early Voting was delayed throughout every Middlesex, village, and farm county, and ‘hood in Ohio.
But at least Ohio Poll Workers will have 28 days of additional part-time employment beginning next week, unlike poll workers in Kentucky, where Bluegrass Bureau Chief reports Ken CamBoo there’s “no early voting.” They only have “Absentee Voting.” To get an Absentee Ballot, voters have to write or go to the County Clerk’s Office and apply for one. And Applicants must actually state a valid reason, under oath, why they can’t vote on Election Day like everyone else. It’s not like Ohio where anybody can “vote early and often” just because people like Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka, Free-Stuff Dispensing Liberals, Rhyming Reverends, and Union Goons tell you to.
Which is why The Blower is honored to choose Hereditary Patronage County Party Boss Peter Principal to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors that you probably won’t see reported in your Morning Fishwrap.
- LIBERIAN WITH EBOLA SNEAKS INTO WHITE HOUSE PAST DRUNKEN SECRET SERVICE AGENTS by Patrick Finnegan
In the last two weeks, we had an African with Ebola board a commercial airliner and fly right into Dallas, and apparently nobody in Congress thought this was a bad idea.
Just to prove the incompetence goes double for the White House, a crazed individual proclaiming that the “atmosphere was collapsing” charged into the White House, which apparently needs a lock on the front door or at least a guard able to stop a lunatic.
Well, based on these recent events, I predict that an ebola-infected individual named Ngumbo Clk Clk Mtumbe from Liberia will scale the White House fence and go charging across the White House lawn with a machete in one hand (and possibly in the other hand the severed head of a co-worker, who was the recipient of “work place violence”).
Mtumbe will be chanting “Death to the Infidels” as he runs across the yard as a sign of his support for Diversity and his love for America.
Mtumbe will then push aside the 98 pound lesbian Secret Service agent stationed at the front door, and he will run five laps around the inside of the White House before tripping over the passed out drunken body of a Secret Service Agent and fracturing his head on Obama’s desk. The agent will later get a commendation from the president for stopping him.
Mtumbe will then be taken to a nearby hospital where he will infect the entire staff with ebola as he spreads the virus over 1,000 pages of ObamaCare forms that he had to fill out.
At the end of the day, America will learn absolutely nothing because the mainstream media doesn’t want us to learn anything about illegal immigration, protecting America from Third World plagues or anything else that may prove beneficial for America and in any way detract from the Political Correctness of the Obama Administration.
- NOMINEE FOR HOLDER REPLACEMENT NAMED by Retired Texas Vet
The nominee to replace Eric Holder as the US Attorney General was announced today by the White House. Travis County, Texas District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg was named.
Although not a national figure or Federal Deputy Attorney General, Rosemary Lehmberg garnered national notoriety by engineering the indictment of Gov. Rick Perry for exercising his salutatory authority as Governor of Texas.
Valarie Jarrett, special adviser to the president, worked with an ABA search committee to find the replacement for Holder. The committee exhausted several lists of recently disciplined and disbarred lawyers seeking a lawyer with similar professional ethics and standards as Holder without success. Turning to other available pools of possible candidates, five flushes resulted in Rosemary Lehmberg floating to the surface as the best available candidate for the position.
Harry Reid has stated that he will unilaterally change the senate rules to allow probation officers, correctional personnel, and Travis County Sheriffs Deputies testify as character witnesses. Harry also stated that if Rosemary should happen to be incarcerated for PI or DUI at the time of the Senate confirmation hearings, he would not hold the hearings in a correctional facility; however, he would allow the process to take place over the internet using “Make The Meeting” software provided, by one of his crony capitalist contributors.
Senator Pocahontas Warren praised the selection. She stated that Rosemary and she were sisters from the same Western Massachusetts Indian tribe – the Bolsheviks. Sarah Palin disapproved of the selection but did suggest that they liberally apply lipstick to her before her confirmation hearings. Senator Cruz stated that he would not attend the confirmation hearings unless Rosemary was put in restraints and fitted with a spit mask. Senator Schumer said he was pleased to throw his support to the first non-lesbian female Attorney General. Vice President Slow Joe Biden was caught unawares by the nomination and confusedly stated that he was running for Vice President in 2016 and would not be available for the position.
When questioned, Rosemary stated that she felt blessed by Mother Gaia to be selected. She further stated that filling Eric’s shoes would be a tall task but she had been prepared by years of understudy with her idol Ronnie Earle. In fact, she felt that Eric Holder was, in essence, a black Ronnie Earle. Rosemary did feel that she could do some things better to improve relations with Congress. She felt that a “beer summit” with Congressman Issa and Lois Lerner might have toned things down. Rosemary’s emphasis on beer summits was based on her own experience, “Who can stay mad at another person after a case of beer?”
Rosemary felt that the confirmation hearings might be tough with the Republicans nit picking but she would approach the hearings with a few good belts and her head held mostly high.
- SITTING AT A STOP LIGHT by Rhoades Rager
I was sitting at a Red light yesterday, minding my own business, patiently waiting for it to turn Green even though there was no on-coming traffic.
A carload of bearded, young, loud Muslims, shouting anti-American slogans, with a half- burned American Flag duct-taped to the boot lid of their car and a “Remember 9-11” slogan, spray painted on the side, was stopped next to me.
Suddenly they yelled, “Allah Akhbar!” and took off before the light changed. Out of nowhere a bus came speeding through the intersection rand ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.
For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, “Thank God! That could have been me !”
So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a bus driver.
- AND A QUICKIE By Politically Correct Sportscaster Bob Costas
Today, the owner of the Washington Redskins, Dan Snyder, announced that the team has agreed unanimously to change their name, after receiving so much national controversy.
This, from Mr. Snyder: “Today, we made the decision to agree to change the name of our team. Instead of “Washington Redskins”, we will now be legally known as “REDSKINS”. (We removed the name ‘Washington’, as it was too embarrassing.)”
These items are perfect to forward to all of your Internet Buddies and Facebook Friends with too much time on their hands.
Stories We’re Working On
Yom Kippur Begins Tonight- Obama Promises: “If You Like Your Ebola,You Can Keep It”
- White House Secret Service in Chaos
- Blackwell’s Awful First Year As Cincinnati Police Chief (Spent Mostly in Columbus)
- More Irrelevant Testimony at Disgraced DemocRAT Judge Traci Hunter’s Trial
- Will League of Women Vipers Really Ban Pledge of Allegiance in Anderson?
- Mahogany’s Still Closed
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s why the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said DemocRATS will always try to get away with Early Voter Fraud:
(A) Think of all the times they don’t get caught: 2%
(B) Accomplices in the Liberal News Media usually cover it up: 1%
(C) It’s only Voter Fraud when Republicans do it: 1%
(D) Dems claim the Constitution says it’s OK: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
TODAY’S “LIBERALS SAY THE STUPIDEST THINGS” WINNER is Nation of Islam Minister Louis Farrakhan (born Louis Eugene Wolcott; May 11, 1933, and formerly known as Louis X), who crawled out from under a rock to declare white people invented Ebola to kill Black people. His latest revelation is a CIA weapon “that can be put in a room where there are Black and White people, and it will kill only the Black and spare the White, because it is a genotype weapon that is designed for your genes, for your race, for your kind.”
The Blower’s not sure if this Deranged Fanatic would ever qualify as a Liberal, exactly, but Farrakhan’s statement was so stupid, it did sound like something one of the members of the Congressional Black Caucus might say.
Weekly Whistleblower Limerick Contest
Elections Dejections
This week, everybody who’s really tired of watching all those campaign commercials on TV, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is noted political pundit J. L. Jaundice, who says he thought if you voted early, you wouldn’t have to watch all those crappy political ads anymore.
J. L. wins an Official Whistleblower Election Night Scorecard to tally the DemocRAT Debacle on November 4, 38 absentee ballots for him to fill out so he can participate in Early Voter Fraud, and an “I Told You So” Button to wear on November 5.
It’s less than five more weeks till elections
And no matter what your selections
Because the plain fact is
They’ll still raise your taxes
So the government can increase its collections.
It’s less than five more weeks till elections
(In Japan, they would call that “erections”)
I can’t help being stimulated,
For four years I’ve waited,
To change our political directions.
And from the Anderson Laureate (who says if this doesn’t result in the restoration of his poetic license, he might have to file a complaint with the ARPLUBP (Americans for Restoration of Poetic License for Unfortunately Bad Poets):
It’s less than five more weeks till elections
And the country has divided its affections
The Romney 47%
Who still can’t pay for food or rent
Will vote in predictable directions.
If Obama’s Senate gets elected again
It will be a terrible sin
That arrogant bastard
Has rhetoric mastered
I’m scared to death he will win.
All I’ve seen for the last several years
Has fed into all of my fears
Those guys hate the US
And have created a mess
If they win, I’ll be forever in tears.
Obama is an arrogant jerk
Who has never done any real work
His strength is his style
Shirtsleeves and phony smile
Big ears and self-absorbed smirk.
If what I learned in school is true
When Obama’s life is all thru
Though he thinks he’s swell
He’s going to Hell
And he’ll probably fool the devil too.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“When the media takes a News Poll”
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Whistleblower Video of the Day
“College Students Sign Petition to Support ISIS”
(Sent in MRC TV, part of the Media Research Center (MRC), a politically Conservative content analysis organization based in Reston, Virginia, founded in 1987 by activist L. Brent Bozell III. Its stated mission is to “prove—through sound scientific research—that liberal bias in the media does exist and undermines traditional American values” and to neutralize the perceived liberal bias of the mainstream media)
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