Thursday, October 2, 2014
Things Have Really Changed Since the First Week in October, 2013…
…when The Blower was wishing everybody a “Happy Partial Shutdown,” because anybody who thought the Federal Government wouldn’t be shutting down on October 1 should’ve had his head examined. The media had only been hyping it for weeks, especially watching all those cheering crowds counting down on Times Square waiting for John Boehner’s balls to drop at midnight.
Actually it wasn’t a Real Government Shutdown at all. It was more like a “Slimdown,” since only “non-essential” government employees were told not to report to work. And if the White House Chef wasn’t essential, we don’t know who was. Then there were all those DC employees the DemocRAT DC Council deemed “essential,” every last one of them.
The Media narrative had already been chiseled in stone for the October 1 official kickoff of the DemocRATS’ 2014 Campaign, because everybody knew even partial government shutdowns are always Republicans’ fault. DemocRATS are the Party of Big Government. They can never be blamed for hurting something they so clearly worship and adore. And if D-RATS called Republicans liars, hostage-takers, terrorists, and even murderers, nobody in the press would ever worry about how that trash talk cheapened our national discourse, or could perhaps could even lead to violence from people who took Demonic DemocRAT rhetoric a bit too seriously.
Obama had taunted Republicans over ObamaCare, saying, “You can’t shut it down.” Disingenuous DemocRAT Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said, “We are entering a Banana Republican Mindset” where dangerous TEA Party Anarchists caused the Government Shutdown, while I was on vacation yesterday. And Nutty Nancy Pelosi said “We’re willing to work with the GOP on keeping the government open, but if they don’t give us exactly what we want, the government will shut down.” Elite DemocRATS held a fund raiser at Hillary Clinton’s swanky house waiting for the government to shut down. Meanwhile, Sassy Sarah Palin hit Obama with: “We don’t do pinpricks, but sometimes we elect them.”
- OBAMA’S ORGANIZING FOR ACTION spent all day on Sunday and Monday last year dunning everybody just like the IRS with 17 reminders, trying to get people on their Dumbed Down DemocRATS Suucker List to send in another $5 donation before that all-important September 30 Filing Report Deadline.
- OBAMA’S PARTIAL SHUTDOWN STRATEGY relied on the Liberals in the Press blaming Republicans, just like they did in the ’90s. Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus explained: “All those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Put Obama In The White House—Twice, would think Republicans were to blame for shutdowns because that’s what they keep hearing on TV.”
Obama and his Secretary of State John Kerry still planned to make separate useless junkets to the Orient regardless of the costs to the over-taxed payers during the Partial Shutdown.
And how curious is it that Obama was willing to negotiate with Russian, Syrian, and Iranian leaders, but was so unwilling to negotiate with the U.S. House of Representatives? Harry Reid had rejected still another offer to negotiate to end the shutdown, as Obama Supporters in the Press continued to say it’s all the Republicans’ fault.
SO HOW’S THAT HISTORIC OBAMACARE GRAND OPENING DOING? HHS had already apologized for the ObamaCare Rollout Disaster. The ObamaCare website quietly deleted the words “Free Health Care.” Drudge reported widespread glitches in 34 states and CNN said two-thirds of ObamaCare exchanges were experiencing technical difficulties. The most popular question at the Health.gov web page was “How do I get an exemption?” And Anti-ObamaCare candidates were shattering fund-raising records. PMSNBC tried to enroll for ObamaCare on live TV and failed miserably after the ObamaCare site kept crashing. Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen said it was no wonder only 17% thought ObamaCare will help them personally.
Somewhere the sun was shining. Somewhere the people shout. But there was no joy at the White House when ObamaCare struck out.
The Federal Government had now shut down 18 times since 1976, and somehow America had survived the previous 17 shutdowns, including the one in 1995 when Disgraced Former Pants-Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton needed all those blow jobs from Monica Lewinsky in the Oval Office to get through the crisis.
And in addition to following Texas TEA Party Senator Ted Cruz’s lead of donating all of his Congressional paycheck to charity during the Partial Government Shutdown, Ohio Second District Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup was making himself available 24/7 for network TV interviews (like Bill Hemmer on Fox News) during the Nation’s Crisis. Meanwhile, Disgraceful DemocRAT Ohio Senator Sherrod Brown was not taking calls or e-mail during the Partial Government Shutdown so he doesn’t have to listen to his constituents.
- THAT’S WHY YOUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Newt Gingrich’s “The worst outcome for the country would be for House Republicans to give in to President Obama and the DemocRATS in the Partial Shutdown face-off.”
GEEZERS IGNORED PARTIAL SHUTDOWN BLOCADE: And in the Obama Administration’s first effort to inconvenience the public and blame Republicans by shutting down National Monuments, a contingent of WWII Veterans in Wheelchairs from Mississippi found the World War Two Memorial on the Mall blocked and tore down the barricades just like they defeated the Nazis on Normandy Beaches.- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1985, homosexual heart throb Rock Hudson died of AIDS. And just think, if Rock Hudson were still alive, he would have been Twittering about Obama’s Partial Government Shutdown.
- THE PARTIAL SHUTDOWN IN THE TRI-STATE: The Partial Shutdown of the Federal Government in Greater Cincinnati meant thousands of Rogue IRS Agents in Southwest Ohio and Northern Kentucky would have to harass TEA Party Members illegally on their own time.
- AND IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo said in spite of all that hype from Bluegrass Governor Steve BeShear, the Kentucky ObamaCare Exchange was down.
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES:
There’s trouble ahead, my friend.
ObamaCare is brewing.
Just like the past five years
You’re in for another screwing.
Your hours are cut to thirty,
You’ve lost your health insurance.
The worst is yet to come, old man,
It’ll be a test of your endurance.
FINALLY, AT LAST YEAR’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA DURING THE FIRST WEEK IN OCTOBER, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistlebower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the Daily Dose of ObamaCare Shutdown Spin you would be likely to see in The Fishwrap, since Editrix Wedgie Washburn and her All-Vagina Idiotorial Board were still trying to convince people to give ObamaCare a chance because “it’s the law,” although most Americans opposed it. “ObamaCare was probably be as disliked as the National Prohibition Act, which resulted in illegal drinking, Al Capone, and gangland murders, before that law was repealed,” Kane explained.
Then Kane said, “To show support for Tuesday’s government shutdown, The Blower was also shutting down for the rest of the day, but he expected 2013 Summer Interns Rachel, Bradley, Ashley, and Hunter to be back to work bright eyed, eager, and bushy tailed the next morning. The rest of us would all be watch to see if the Cincinnati Reds were shut down in their One-and-Done Wild Card Playoff Game in Pittsburgh.
Last Year’s Conservative Political Cartoons
THIS YEAR, TODAY’S “LIBERALS SAY THE STUPIDEST THINGS” AWARD goes to Jimmy Carter, who wins hands down with his claim that he could have beaten Ronald Reagan:
“I could’ve been re-elected if I’d taken military action against Iran, shown that I was strong and resolute and, um, manly and so forth. I could have wiped Iran off the map with the weapons that we had, but in the process a lot of innocent people would have been killed, probably including the hostages.”
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PARTIAL GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN HOT LINE
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