Saturday, August 23, 2014
Happy Dog Days, Everybody!
During the Dog Days of Summer, we’re well into the hottest time of the year in the northern hemisphere, and tempers around here seem to be fraying a bit. Not for nothing are they called the dog days of summer, as people growl and snap at each other. Perhaps it’s because many of the more active of us are out doing things, and don’t have time to post reports, pictures, or discussions and play with Facebook on company time.
Garrison Keeler says, “When it comes to the summer doldrums, a person’s brain shrinks to pea-size and one forgets about lofty moral values and takes the short view, and so I turn on the air conditioning and burn up precious non-renewable resources for my own comfort and pleasure, even if it does mean that glaciers shrink and the Arctic tern is threatened, I just want cool air to blow on me as I sip a cool drink.”
We’ve all heard the rumor that says the homicide rate supposedly goes up dramatically when the temperature reaches precisely 92 degrees Fahrenheit. The Blower says of course the murder rate increases with temperature, but we’re not sure 92 degrees is the exact temperature. Let’s hope those Cincinnati Police cars are air-conditioned this weekend for patrolling the along the route of the future Trolley Folly amid the Killing Fields of Over-the-Rhine.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Winston Churchill’s, “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
- SPOILED SPORTS: Whistleblower Senior Sports Editor Andy Furball says the Cincinnati Reds “Tragic Number” is now only “25” and the NAALCP is calling Obama’s Racially-Obsessed Attorney General Eric Holder to investigate charges that an usher at Mediocre American Ball Park racial profiled black folks at Friday night’s loss, after a couple of Kneepad Liberals witnessing the event complained. How “Racially Obsessed” is Obama’s “Racially Obsessed” Attorney General with a new poll showing only 10% of Americans say Obama has improved Race Relations, especially after Obama had Race-Baiter #1 Al Sharpton report directly to Valerie Jarrett on the situation in Ferguson, acting as the White House go-between with the Brown Family? Perhaps Photoshop Editorial Spoofer Edward Cropper could give us a clue.
- IN COLUMBUS, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says The Ohio Republican Party released a new website to begin exposing Nina Turner’s record. “It’s time for Ohioans to learn the truth about the Liberal State Senator who wants to be Ohio’s Secretary of State,” Ohio Republican Party Chairman Borges said. “Ohio voters should know about Turner’s record of telling voters to vote multiple times in one election and using extreme partisan rhetoric.” In 2009, Turner urged voters to “vote often, vote DemocRAT.”
- TODAY’S “LIBERALS SAY STUPID THINGS AWARD” goes to Duplicitious DemocRAT Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick, who says: “I’m sick of unarmed Black Men being shot” by Racist Police Officers. Obama’s Racial Divide must be even bigger than you thought.
- TOO HOT FOR SCHOOL: All those mommas who went to public skool won’t sent their kids until after Labor Day ’cause they don’t learn anything da first few weeks. When da mamas went to CPS skool, it didn’t start till after the ‘EBN fireworks. Why break wif tradition?
- REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES bemoan Cincinnati’s loss of a $5 million grant to help operate their trolley folly. Which makes us wonder, what happened to those Special Improvement Districts that streetcar supporters promised they’d enact if they got their beloved toy train?
- DID “TAXKILLER TOM” BRINKMAN really sign the State’s Term Limits Pledge? Our incoming State Rep-tile won’t even be elected for another 73 days and already he’s planning to leave office.
Speaking of planning, when the three trustees meet together and plan the meeting in advance, aren’t they required to announce a public meeting to the public so they can attend? The Blower wonders when COAST’s Avaricious Anderson Attorney Chris Finney will swoop in and charge them with violating the open meetings laws, and then submit another of his humongous legal fee bills.
Shown here hanging out with fellow A-Town Trustees Andrew S. Pappas, Josh Gerth, and Russ Jackson Jr. is our township Mayor Gregory Harshfield talking to Podiatrist Congressman Brad Wenstrup about what is happening Around Anderson Township
- ALSO IN ANDERSON, Determined DemocRAT Bob Drake took advantage of the Trustees’ offer to speak for 15 minutes at Thursday’s “Day of Rage” Event. Our former County Trustee Candidate was outraged about the Trustees’ lack of outrage about what the Anderson Park District Board plans to do with Johnson Park, wherever the hell that is.
THIS WEEK AT THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher about Helen Merz, that 100 year old former Anderson High School English teacher whose name has been in the news lately.
“One of her former students wrote a wonderful tribute to his former English teacher,” Kane explained. “But James Burns (Class of ’57) forgot to mention was Miss Merz’s proudest moment as an educator, when her most gifted student during the entire 40-decades of her teaching career won that prestigious American Legion Medal for his ‘What I Owe My County’ Essay in 1956, which I just happen to be wearing today.”
THE MUCK STOPS HERE: By now everybody’s heard of the “Ice Bucket” Challenge,” where people agree to let somebody pour a bucket of ice water on their heads as part of charity fundraiser. That’s why The Muckraker is working on the “Muckbucket Challenge” for politicians. That’s where elected officials would have to tell the truth or we get to pour a bucket of muck on their heads. 
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1814, first lady Dolley Madison saved a portrait of George Washington from being looted or burned by British troops during the war of 1812. These days, Barry and Michelle would only save themselves, and perhaps the new puppy Sunny. It’s the first thing all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, would want to know.
MEANWHILE IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY DURING THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says, it just hit me! My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. His meals are provided at no cost to him. He visits the doctor once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him. He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep. If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives these accommodations absolutely free. He is living like a king, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of his costs are picked up by others who earn a living. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick, “My Dog must either be a DemocRAT or a Congressman.”- WEDNESDAY FROM THE KENTUCKY CENTER FOR INVESTIGATIVE REPORTING, Jim McNair reported about the sewage spills and stench plaguing a Louisville Mobile Home Park, and everybody at the Ft. Mitchell Country Club was hoping Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend Nathan “Cornbread” Smith wasn’t in any way connected with that story. [READ MORE HERE]
- AND WITH ALL THAT FOLDEROL about the CVG Airport Board these days, it appears as if our NoKY Photoshop Assassin’s creative juices have finally begun flowing again. With all that’ll be going on between now and November 6, Our Animated Assassin’s fine work will really be needed.
Remember We never print everything we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Nathan “Cornbread” Smith.
More Conservative Dog Days Political Cartoons
DOG DAZE HOT LINE
e-mail your best pet treats today.
Some Animal Planet watching items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Animal Planet watching subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Happy Reunion
(Sent in for a soldier, whose puppy seemed really glad to see him when he finally returned after more than six months overseas.)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
“Hopeless Change” By James Jay Schifrin
“What’s the matter with my column, Chief? I asked my editor.
“The official change came over the Main Stream Media Newswire this morning. We’re not calling Black Rioters in Ferguson, Missouri “Looters” any more. That term has been changed to ‘Aggrieved Victims of America’s Racist Criminal Justice System’. ”
“What about ‘fighters,’ Chief. That’s what they call ‘Terrorists’ in the Middle East?”
“No that’s the wrong image.”
“I figured the Obama White House wanted to soften the Looters’ image during the TV coverage of the Race Riots in Ferguson, Missouri.”
“Exactly, you know it’s the news media’s job to control public opinion.”
“But calling Black Rioters ‘Aggrieved Victims’ instead of ‘looters’ or ‘criminals’ doesn’t change what they are, Chief?”
“Of course not, but it’s funny how a word here and there can change what dumbed-down people think of them.”
“But won’t anybody notice the changes, Chief?”
“Not when you give it to them in small doses. You can’t change a ‘Law Breaking Looter into an Aggrieved Victim of America’s Racist Criminal Justice System over night. It has to be gradual.”
“Then changing public opinion would take a long time, right, Chief?”
“That’s why the people who really make things happen are always light years ahead of the rest of us.”
“But who decides when we’re supposed to change public opinion, Chief?”
“Don’t be silly. Everybody knows THEY do.”
This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols, but it does bear more than a small similarity to that “Government and Business” Column published on July 28, 1982, which talks about downplaying the word “Terrorists” so their murdering bastards’ feelings wouldn’t be hurt.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
