Thursday, August 21 2014

Are You Ready for Some Outrage?

The National Domestic Preparedness Coalition Global Center for Threat, Risk, and Vulnerability published a “SITUATIONAL AWARENESS BULLETIN” warning that several websites and message boards were indicating that hacker group Anonymous had issued a call for nationwide protests in what was described as a “Day of Rage” set for this Thursday, August 21. The announcement was posted via video on YouTube on Tuesday morning, following events that took place in Ferguson, Missouri on Monday evening.

This planned nationwide protest is in response to a white police officer’s shooting a big black thug on dope who had just robbed a convenience store was running full speed at him in order to body slam the cop. Obama’s Attorney General Eric Holder flew in to Ferguson with 40 FBI agents and his Civil Rights Circus trying to prove the white officer wasn’t trying to protect himself. It was just another racial hate crime in America that was all George W. Bush’s fault.

Anonymous Hacktivists claim to be calling for “peaceful protests” with no looting allowed, but affected areas would be wise to review their emergency plans for both peaceful and violent protests.

BUT NO LOCAL “DAY OF RAGE” PROTESTS ARE PLANNED

…and when Angry Andersonians saw the National Day of Rage Schedule and Locations, they became “Really Outraged” because they had been left out once again, so many of our Soreheads in the Suburbs are now planning their own events for noon today, because in all that Ferguson, Missouri Race Riot News Coverage, there wasn’t a single Caucasian-American shown breaking into stores, stealing stuff, or throwing urine grenades at the cops.

Anderson Township Trustee President “In Russ We Trust” Jackson will be leading the protest against Hamilton County’s “Icon Tax,” Fellow Trustee Andy Pappas will be coordinating a “Park-In” to protest high valet parking fees at the new Belterra Racino, while Real Republicans will be protesting all those boring meetings at the Anderson GOP run by Third Trustee Josh Gerth, while disgraced former Trustee Kevin O’Brien will probably be trying to get a ride home with another Wellborne woman so he can masturbate in her car, which Judge Fannon Rucker says is OK with him, so long as “Old Spanky” doesn’t let anyone else watch.
Former WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Darryl Parks says anti-taxers will be protesting the Forrest Gump School District’s bond issue and permanent improvement tax levy scam on the November ballot that would cost the owner of a $100,000 home an ADDITIONAL $5,631 ($173.25 each year for only 32.5 years). Suezilla Hardenberg, TEA Party Warrior Princess, will be leading the protest against Common Core outside Peter $tautberg’s house to encourage the Defeated State Rep-Tile to vote right at least once before leaving office. Native Americans will be protesting the Anderson Redskins team name, and high school boys at Turpin will be protesting for more hottie teachers who like having sex with their students, and high school girls will be protesting on their cell phones for “whatever.”
There are very few “Black Victims” in Anderson, but several of the maids in Watch Hills mansions are planning a work stoppage at noon, neighbors on Aroldis Chapman’s cul du sac plan to rev their car engines in front of his house, and those three black dudes who work out at Lyons YMCA most afternoons probably won’t be protesting because they subscribe to The Blower.
Both Muslims and Jews will be protesting in front of Izzy’s. Jews will be protesting the crappy food and Muslims will be protesting the Jews.
Baby Killers be protesting in front of Archbishop Schnurr’s gated estate. Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis say Gays will be holding a “Kiss-in” at Chick-Fil-A. G-un Control Activists plan to ride around Kroger’s parking lot firing their guns in the air from the back of their pickup trucks. Moises, Julio, Alfredo, and Jose say Amnesty Activists will be holding a “Bite My Burrito” rally at Taco Bell. Global Warming Fanatics should just make appointments with their psychiatrists, while Really Stupid Protesters at the Peace Pole will be having their candlelight vigil in the middle of the day.
Local residents could always protest outside the offices of the Forest Hills Urinal, if the Urinal had a local office. Music Critics could protest bands chosen to play at the Party on the Plaza. Green Space fanatics will all be out hugging trees, but Unions say they’ll be doing their meaningless protesting at Coney Island on Labor Day.
Section 8 scroungers could demand more benefits, if only they didn’t have to spend all that time riding all over hell and creation on the Metro, just to get to the Welfare Office downtown.
Chronic Complainers can always protest the Anderson Area Chamber of Commerce (including Mt. Washington, Newtown, and West Clermont) for not being inclusive enough.
Cincinnati Reds fans will be protesting inside Mediocre American Ballpark, when their “Tragic Number” is “27,” even before Thursday’s game with the Braves.
Warner Business Class customers will be calling to express their outrage over Warner’s gouging its customers $7.50 per phone line for a so-called “Federal Subscriber Line Charge.”
And just to make sure everybody has a chance to protest, Political Correctness Activists could always attend the “Fuck Hate” Rally outside The Blower’s Offices, any of those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, who are looking for more FREE STUFF but are not protesting at one of the other “Day of Rage Events, can always storm the offices of Podiatrist Congressman Brad Wenstrup and demand a free foot bath.
And if that’s not enough, anybody else who wants to protest will be given fifteen minutes to rant during tonight’s Trustees Meeting at the Anderson Government Center, and that includes rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, horn-swagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank-robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists.

This is your Official Anonymous “Day of Rage” Protest Guide. Any other “Day of Rage” Protest Guide you may see published anywhere else is surely a fake.

More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans

Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our August fund-raising drive from Rent-a-Protester, providing picketers for any cause the Liberal Agenda supports.

DAY OF RAGE HOT LINE

e-mail your outraged utterances today.

Some protest-mocking items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally protest-mocking subscribers.

Whistleblower Video of the Day

Gay Protest Signs Sent in by Citizens For Community Values Homophobe-in-Chief Phil Burr-Ass Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Whistleblower Newswire

Some of the News They Seem to Lose

Another “Day of Rage” E-dition