Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

As kids return to school this week, we’ll continue our dumbing-down process for 2014. — Fools in Schools
So does that mean that Obama’s daughters are going back to PUBLIC schools in D.C.? —Shelly The Home School Mom
Did you ever wonder why some folks are willing to wait in long lines for Voucher Schools? —Common Core Opponents
And we’ll keep telling you how much we really, really care about education. —Elected Officials Running for Re-election on November 6 in only “77” more days
Obama wants to raise your taxes to hire more teachers and administrators. That way, corrupt teachers unions will have more money to donate to us. —Despicable DemoCRATS
Race Riots, ISIS, Gaza, Border Crisis – Who Cares? Obama spent Sunday playing his 190th free round on the golf course (a total of 29.5 hours on the golf course as Race Riots Rage), and going to a jazz concert while race riots exploded for another night in Ferguson. —Obama Supporters in the Press
Would you say Obama’s vision of a post-racial America looks even more distant than before? —Cynical Sid
The shooting incident in a St. Louis suburb is still under investigation, and just over half of Americans are not sure yet whether the police officer involved is guilty of murdering a black teenager. But most blacks have already made up their minds that the policeman should be found guilty and hanged. Blacks are also more convinced that the violent protests since the shooting occurred are mostly legitimate outrage rather than criminal activity. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
We chose CNN’s Marc Lamont Hill’s “Obama’s Ferguson Statement was “Dangerous” because he didn’t “Scream White People Are Racists Loud Enough!” —Today’s “Liberals Say Stupid Things Award”
LA Times Reporter Molly Hennessy-Fiske reportsMichael Brown is the New Jesus because Protesters carried a giant wooden cross to the memorial, but oddly enough, there were no stories in the Bible about Jesus robbing convenience stores. —Weasel Zippers
Please don’t confuse me with that Michael Brown guy in St. Louis. —Bungals Owner “Millionaire Mike” Brown
The Shrine to America’s New National Martyr, Marijuana User Michael Brown included Mad Dog 20/20, Cough Syrup, and Liquor Bottles. —Goodbye America
And we set up a Voter Registration Booth at the Michael Brown Shrine Site. —Liberal Ghouls
Leftists, Race Hustlers and Scientologists were all trying to take advantage in Ferguson. —Left Wing Bloggers
We are not looters, we’re liberators of other people’s stuff. —Race Baiter # 1 Al Sharpton
Please don’t mention that I got booed off the stage in Ferguson after asking protesters for money. —Race Baiter #2 Jesse Jackson
I will be so proud to honor Al Sharpton at the Council on American Islamic Relations’ Annual Banquet in September. —Erlanger, KY’s National CAIR Board Chair Roula Allouch
At least there were no Ferguson-style Race Riots in Cincinnati last weekend after I drove all the way down from my home in Columbus to be Grand Marshal at the Black Family Reunion Parade. —Cincinnati’s Affirmative Action Police Chief Jeffrey Blackwell
There was no racial tension in the Great White North at the Western Southern Tennis Matches except when Serena Williams won. —Hamilton County Prosecutor “Jaywalking Joe” Deters, Seen Sitting in John Barrett’s Box on ESPN
The few darkies who showed at the Great Inland Seafood Fest at Newport were happy and gay, just like in “Our Old Kentucky Home.” —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
With all those rehashed Race Riot comments in Sunday’s Forum, we didn’t have room for Johnathan Gentry’s “The Truth About Black People.”—Feckless Fishwrappers

Please don’t ask me how in the world that Big Black Mother could have raised his “hands” with four bullet holes in his right arm? —Three Coroners Doing Autopsies in Missouri (The Show Me State)
With all the Ferguson Race Riot Hype Coverage, could The Blower please find a little space for my video calling “The indictment of Gov. Rick Perry hogwash?”—Judge Jeanine

Did you see where ousted “Meet the Press” anchor David Gregory was paid $4 million to leave NBC and signed a contract not to speak out against the network? —Photo-Shop Editorial Spoofer Edward Cropper
Yesterday in 1920, the Women’s Suffrage Constitutional Amendment was ratified, and America has been suffering ever since. —Hurley the Historian
That’s why we chose Mark Twain’s: “Women, go your ways! Seek not to beguile us of our imperial privileges. Content yourself with your little feminine trifles — your babies, your benevolent societies and your knitting–and let your natural bosses do the voting. Stand back — you will be wanting to go to war next. We will let you teach school as much as you want, and we will pay you half wages for it, too, but beware! We don’t want you to crowd us too much.
The Whistleblower has always been most sensitive to our needs.—The League of Women Vipers
The best part about being a Bungals fan is they can only lose one game during a week, unlike the Reds, whose “Tragic Number” is now 30. —Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall
What’s so great about St. Louis these days? The only thing they can do there is win baseball games and have riots.. —Cincinnati Reds Owner Bob Castellini
Everybody’s waiting to see if Wedgie Washburn allows me to report about Hamilton County RINO Party Boss defending Bob Castellini’s son on Domestic Violence Charges in Judge Bernie Bouchard’s courtroom on Monday. —Fishwrap Crime Reporter KimBall Perry
No fair telling your readers about ourbond issue and permanent improvement tax levy scam on the November ballot that would cost the owner of a $100,000 home an ADDITIONAL $5,631 ($173.25 each year for only 32.5 years). —Forrest Gump Board of Education
You shouldn’t be using a set dollar amount for 32.5 years, because you can count on me to jack up your taxes every chance I get. —Double-Dipping Disingenuous DemocRAT County Auditor Who’s Always Permitted to Run Unopposed by the RINOs at 700 Walnut Street
Does that sign on the door of the Anderson Kroger Store really say “NO FIREARMS?” Maybe everyone in Anderson should carry a gun, especially after an “elderly” couple was held captive at gun point Sunday night in an attempted car theft in the Kroger parking lot! That guy is lucky a conceal-carry person didn’t blow his ass away because he was only holding a fake gun!” —Little Old Ladies Packing Heat
Most children in Northern Kentucky have already returned to school. —Bluegrass Fools in Schools
Handing out thousands of backpacks filled with free school supplies is something else we’re seeing a lot more of during the Age of Obama. —Church Volunteers
Your child’s self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it. —Northern Kentucky Educators
We can hardly wait to see if teachers like that former Bungals cheerleader will be having sex with their students. —Horny Guys in Junior High
The Free Condom Dispenser was empty on the first day. —Nerds at NKU
The first holiday on our schedule (Labor Day) isn’t until September 1 this year. —Children in Union Households
On the first day of school, I always tell my class we’re only having half a day of school that morning, and when the class says “Hooray,” I tell them we’ll be having the other half that afternoon. —Mrs. Carson, Who Really Hates Kids
Trish the Dish says it’s only Tuesday and she’s already tired of doing Back to School stories. —Channel 19 News

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Reverend Demon Lynchmob, who took complete credit for Cincinnati’s Historic Collaborative Agreement (which The Fishwrap conveniently forgot to mention that he publicly deserted after a single year) while Lynchmob was using our local media to pitch himself as a savior, as he was sucking up to Race-baiter # 1 Al Sharpton in Ferguson, Missouri on Sunday.

—Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower makes fun of public schools to show that wasting all that over-taxed payer money is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t an Obama-loving Member of the Teachers Union.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially those handing out diplomas to 18-year-olds who can’t even read.

BACK TO SCHOOL HOT LINE

e-mail your memorized mantras today.

Some quality education items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally quality education subscribers.

WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

Whistleblower Link of the Day

PUBLIC SCHOOL PRINCIPAL MEETS SHELLY THE HOME SCHOOL MOM

(Sent in by Board Vice President Julie Bissinger, the one member of the Forrest Gump School Board who voted against jacking up residents’ taxes with a bond issue and permanent improvement tax levy scam on the November ballot. Perhaps, Julie wished the tax hike would be higher.)

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Whistleblower Newswire

Some of the News They Seem to Lose

Another “School Daze” E-dition