Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

Does anybody remember in 2008 when Obama promised that he would not take vacations if elected President? —Research Bureau Chief Fearless Ferrett
On this date in 1776, George Washington was busy trying to anticipate the British strategy in the Revolutionary, not golfing on Martha’s Vineyard, while U.S. Generals are blasting Barack’s Iraq Attack as “pinpricks.” —Hurley the Historian
Meanwhile, the Obamas have begun their eighty-seventh over-taxed payer funded holiday of the year at a seven-bedroom, 9-bathroom, 8,100-square-foot estate in Martha’s Vineyard, the island destination of the wealthy and well-connected American elite. —Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus
Will Obama Supporters in the Press be telling us every Obasmic detail 24/7 about the Obama Family’s Vacation at Martha’s Vineyard, where all the ordinary Americans go to spend their summer vacations? — Dumb Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice

The Obama’s vacation costs!?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!? —One Pissed Off Over-Taxed Payer
Vacationing Obama hosted his 401st fundraiser Monday night on Martha’s Vineyard, Mass., continuing his record-setting pace that has had him collecting checks from donors at events on average every five days since becoming president. —The Fundraising Hall of Fame
Please don’t ask if any U.S. Soldiers were killed while our Commander-in-Chief was playing his 186th round of golf on Sunday. —Troops in Afghanistan
We’re not going to criticize for golfing during his Barack Iraq Attack because his name isn’t George W. Bush. —Obama Supporters in the Press
If you ask why Obama needs an entourage of 40 large black vehicles every time he wants to buy some ice cream, we’ll call you a racist. —Racial Racketeers Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton

One of the perks of being in the Army Reserves is having your summer vacations planned for you. —Ohio’s Second District Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup, Seen Here Catching Up on Some Army Training
How prophetic was our “Liberal Bias Alert” in Monday’s E-dition? —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane
We’re taking a break from our August recess to criticize Obama for a taking an expensive vacation while millions of Americans are struggling financially. —Republicans in Congress
When we slammed our “Do Nothing Congress” in our story about “Frustrated Wenstrup mired in DC’s muck,” did we forget to mention that 356 bills made it through the House and are still sitting on Harry Reid’s desk in the Senate. BTW, 98% of those bills were passed with bipartisan support. —Feckless Fishwrappers

Did anybody see when I Dressed Up As Bin Laden, Walks Unopposed Into U.S. From Mexico? —James O’Keefe
Why do people always laugh whenever I try to claim nobody ever contacted The Fishwrap about removing Courageous Criminal Reporter KimBall Perry’s story from the website about the arrest of Cincinnati Reds owner Bob Castellini’s son Robert and daughter-in-law Deanna after they were both arrested on charges of Domestic Violence for getting into a fight with each other in front of their children last week, especially Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP, who is also Castellini’s attorney. —Wedgie Washburn, Fishwrap Editrix
And you thought I was an embarrassment to Disastrous DemoCRAT Gubernatorial Candidate Ed FitzGerald’s Campaign? —Eric Kearney
When will those two Republican Judges at the Federal Courthouse last week’s Attack on Marriage Case? —Sodomy Rites Activists
I’ll gladly repay for on Tuesday for a $42 million loan today. —Disbarred Greedy Hearse-Chasing, Disgraced DemocRAT, Clinton-loving, Fen-Phen Scandal Plagued, Not-yet-Indicted Trial Attorney $tan Che$ley
My supporters were really glad $tan’s friend, our Former Pants-Dropper-in-Chief is supporting my U.S. Senate campaign. —Alison Wondergams Grimes
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, we’re the most conservative NoKY County of all after the Fort Thomas Independent Schools told Michelle Obama where to stick her stupid school lunch program. —Campbell County Republicans
Does this mean we’ll be getting some of that great goetta-and-dumplings like they served at last week’s Glier’s Goettafest? —Overweight NoKY Offspring

Sorry if I missed meeting some of your Persons of Consequence at last week’s goettafest in Newport. Maybe we can all get together next weekend’s Great Inland Seafood Fest. —“Honest Gil” Fulbright
Thanks to The Blower for counting down the hours, minutes, and seconds until the big Black Family Reunion Parade this weekend. —Your Belligerent Black Blogger Nate “Rhymes with Hate” Livingston
Don’t look now, by the Reds’ Tragic Number is now only “40.” —Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall

We’ll be the first professional baseball team officially to retire Pete Rose’s jersey during Pete Rose Night Ceremonies on September 2. —Florence Freedom
Contrary to what’s been reported by other newspapers (e.g., New York Times) and countless misinformed bloggers (not including The Blower), no tax money is coming from Kentucky’s budget and away from needed services to build the full-size Noah’s Ark in Williamstown. Instead, the project has received preliminary approval from the state to receive a refund of sales tax collected at the completed park (e.g., from ticket sales, merchandise and food) but only if the Ark draws large crowds and thus brings in millions of tourism dollars into the state. Long-time —Whistleblower Person of Consequence COO Mark Looy

The Blower’s right. The “breast” way to stay “abreast” of the current situation would be to watch The Naked News on TV. —Porn Investigators in The Robster’s Office
Which one of our local newsbabes would you would you like to see doing a stripped-down stand-up, anyway? —Horny in Hebron
Trish the Dish wants to know if there is a Naked News Program featuring men, so you can see the guys’ schlongs (as opposed to their schlorts). —Channel 19 News
That’s why we chose “Size matters!” —Your Quote for Today Committee

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Former WCPO-TV weekend sports anchor Paula Faris, now co-anchoring “GMA Weekend.”

—Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower makes fun of presidential vacations to show that wasting all that over-taxed payer money is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who is staying home for a staycation this year.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially the biggest mooches in American History on another over-taxed payer funded vacation in Martha’s Vineyard this week.

OBAMA VACATION COST HOT LINE

e-mail your rants and slants today.

Some tightfisted items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally tightfisted subscribers.

WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

Judge Jeanine Pirro – Opening Statement – DESTROYS Obama on Iraq ISIS Situation – Fox News – 8-9-14

(Sent in by ISIS Terrorists, who threaten “We will raise the Flag of Allah in the White House.”

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Whistleblower Newswire

Some of the News They Seem to Lose

Another “Golfing During a Crisis” E-dition