One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Racial Healing Update
Belligerent Black Blogger Nate Livingston says race-baiters will all be watching to see if Joe Biden and Al Sharpton play the race card at the National Urban League Conference in Cincinnati on Thursday.
And do you think anybody will mention that Dayton Daily News report about how Ohio’s welfare rolls continue plunging toward historic lows, stemming in part from the failure of some program applicants and benefit recipients to comply with work-activity requirements.
At the same time, if our Good Friend Frank Weikel were still doing his “Talk of the Town” Column (that used to be published six-days-per week in The Enquirer before it became The Morning Fishwrap), his take on last week’s Judge Mallory incident would probably be: “DARTS TO THE DEPUTY FOR NOT ARRESTING THE JUDGE FOR DISORDERLY CONDUCT…”
- MEANWHILE, SOREHEADS IN THE SUBURBS are all wondering where the National Suburban League Conference will be held so white people could feel welcome. Cleveland, perhaps?
Soreheads no doubt will be making their voices heard at 6:30 PM tonight at the Sharonville Convention Center when Hamilton County Commissioners listen to complaints about that $315 Million Cincinnati Icons Tax Increase for the Museum Center and Music Hall. Levy Lovers of course want County Residents to bail them out.
Extra Luminocity tickets were drawn randomly online. CSO was smart this round… you can’t download the Thursday July 31 tickets until July 30. This way it is harder to sell tickets online if you don’t have an actual ticket to mail out. And if all the 37,500, who got a “FREE” ticket, send $25 to Music Hall they would have $937,500 for help restoring the building.
MORE DOWNTOWN DIVERSITY: While strolling through our wonderful, safe Downtown on Sunday afternoon, another Sorehead heard loud chants and cheers. It appeared that Fountain Square had turned into Caliphate Corner with all of the Arabs in town doing what they did best back home, celebrating Hamas Terrorists in the Gaza Strip for firing Jew-Seeking Missiles into Israel while Obama’s Clueless Secretary of State John Kerry continues to chastise Israel over the number of Palestinian casualties. They were of course accompanied by the usual herd of fat white girls from the local populace. A few of the demonstrators approached and asked “Do you support Palestine, or not?” I replied, “I back our President on this one (pro Israel). You know, the guy all of you Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, voted for.”- IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders reports Republicans saynot only has Dishonest DemocRAT Gubernatorial Candidate Ed FitzGerald opposed $3 billion in tax cuts for hard-working Ohioans, but like the Liberal Doofus he is, he’s proposed billions in spending without explaining how he’d pay for it! Sign up now to learn more about Ed’s incompetence at http://www.FitzGeraldForOhio.com.
- WARNER BUSINESS CLASS CUSTOMERS were advised in July that starting IN August, lucky customers will be assessed $7.50 per phone line for a “Federal Subscriber Line Charge,” and Regulatory Recovery Fees will increase by 1.11% of customers’ applicable phone charges. The Federal Subscriber Line charge is supposedly an FCC regulated fee allowing local phone providers to recover some of the cost of local network facilities used to serve their customers. But what does that mean exactly?
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1984, Vanessa Williams gave up her Miss America title, the first resignation in the pageant’s history, after Penthouse magazine announced plans to publish nude/lesbo photos of the beauty queen in its September issue. And at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane explained to Political Insiders: Boy, did those pictures ever hurt Vanessa’s career in show business. - THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Oscar Wilde’s “If people were meant to be nude, they would have been born this way.”
TODAY’S MUCKRAKER REPORT: Sooooo, about a week ago a major announcement in the area media let everyone know a brand new Boy’s and Girl’s Club would be built in Price Hill. The new facility will supposedly help to improve a major west side artery and eradicate some of the blight along the Glenway Avenue corridor near “Elder and Seton High schools.” Oh joy! Even our mayor was present to offer his glowing thoughts about the good fortune of this proposed development.
Speaking about good fortune, our mayor forgot or neglected to mention that the only blighted buildings left on the block that will be redeveloped are owned by the mayor’s good friend, Pete Witte. Say…hasn’t Pete Witte been a chronic complainer about the declining conditions in Price Hill and critical of those who have profited by those miserable conditions?
Hmmmmmm, now isn’t that convenient? After years of bitching and complaining about the blight in Price Hill, Pete has finally gotten his just rewards and was paid off for the dilapidated buildings he has “maintained” in blighted conditions for years. It’s always good to be a witness to progress, isn’t it?
IN ANDERSON TOWNSHIP: The Anderson Township Republican Club is still trying to find volunteers to staff its booth at Anderson Daze this weekend. The event is open between 5-11 PM on Friday and Saturday nights and between 5-10 PM on Sunday night, and volunteers are needed between 5-11 PM on Friday and Saturday nights and between 5-10 PM on Sunday night, plus a clean-up detail after 10 PM.
ALSO IN ANDERSON: Cincinnati and Anderson should add a $5 surcharge to all Buffet tickets just for the morning-after Parrot Head mess! A zillion beer cans, bags, coolers, and crap were left on the sides of Sutton and Kellogg. Cars were parked on private land next to the entrance to I-275, and Tuesday morning FREE coolers and trash were all that was left of the merriment. Who do those concert patrons think will clean up private land they trespassed on Monday night? The mess will be blown’ all over creation this weekend when that B-17 Memphis Belle keeps taking off and landing at Lunken Airport. As for the 4WD a young lady was driving when she pulled off Sutton into a six-foot drop off: Yes, your car was still hanging over the gully Tuesday morning. One 30-something lady sent her mom a text last night at 7 pm that said, “There are so many obscenely undressed drunks already passed out. It is too gross to even take pictures!”- WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR SPOILED SPORTS EDITOR ANDY FURBALL says don’t be surprised if you see flags at Mediocre American Ball Park flying at half staff for the rest of the season. The 2014 pennant race is so over for the Reds.
- TWENTY THREE YEARS AGO when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over town, Edition #60 published on July 23, 1991 featured an award-winning guest column by Phil Burr-Ass, President of Citizens for Community Values, Large Marge getting maimed in that week’s limerick contest, and a report on radioactive restaurants “Bluegrass Holler” by Ken CamBoo. To see that entire edition, CLICK HERE.
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief says Ken CamBoo the Fancy Farm Picnic is NOT a nudist event. It’s where all those Bluegrass Politicians get together every year to attack each other. U.S. Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell will conducting the Republican’s War on Women against his Ditzy DemocRAT Opponent, Alison Wondergams Grimes. But The Blower will be there to cover “Honest” Gil Fulbright, who’s launching his U.S. Senate campaign at the annual Fancy Farm Picnic even though he won’t actually appear on the ballot — and even though he’s not even a real person.
NO GAWKERS, PLEASE: Some people think we’re kidding when we report how Kenton County’s Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl personally visits the Northern Kentucky Nudist Camp in Florence looking for Joseph Hall, who still hasn’t voluntarily returned since he walked away from a work detail on May 28, and how much fun WCPO-TV’s Chopper 9 Helicopter Voyeur Dan Carroll has whenever flies over the Paradise Gardens Nudist Camp at 6100 Blue Rock Road in Colerain Township.
The Blower remembers Free Nature Fishwrapper KimBall Perry’s “Nudist colony wants trial covered up” story, describing that the lawyer for Paradise Gardens wanted to keep the public from knowing about or attending the public trial. Kevin Frank filed a Friday motion with Hamilton with Hamilton County Common Pleas Court Judge P-P-P-Patrick DeWhine seeking to “exclude (the) public and media from the trial and to seal records” in the case. “My clients have their reasons for keeping it private,” Frank said. When asked what those reasons were, Frank in his best lawyerly tradition responded, “I’m not going to tell you.”
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Naked People at Paradise Gardens.
RACE-BAITING HOT LINE
e-mail your political propaganda today.
Some fake outrage items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally fake outrage subscribers.
WHISTLEBLOWER LINK OF THE DAY
The Middle East Problem
(Sent in by Dennis Prager at PragerUniversity, who says Let’s drop the names “Hamas” and “Israel” and make a list of the characteristics of two imaginary warring entities. We’ll call them Entity A and Entity B. Entity A: Declares that its raison d’etre is to annihilate Entity B, Sending missiles to explode in the most populated parts of Entity B in order to kill as many civilians as possible.)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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