Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

Saturday, I really slammed Obama for sitting on the sidelines, “watching and dithering,” as five of the world’s worst crises are at play.—Judge Jeanine Pirro
”The American people ought to be proud in terms of what this president has done in terms of peaceful diplomatic engagement.” —Obama’s Clueless Secretary of State John Kerry
Please don’t mention that even though Bill and I were dead broke in 2001 when we left the White House, I was on the over-taxed payers’ dime first as a New York Senator and followed that as Obama’s Secretary of State, and since I left that job a year ago I’ve been paid $12 Million. —Hillary
What difference does that make? I’ve earned more than $100 Million since I left the White House. —Poor Bill Clinton
Is it really true that when Putin shot down that plane over the Ukraine, he was trying to impress Jody Foster? —Boob Taft
And curiously enough, we addressed many of the Nation’s Problems in Monday’s Edition. —The Whistleblower Focus Group
Tell Obama and those Republicans in Congress to do something. Things have gotten so bad, my children are out of work. They’ve all moved back home with me along with the grandchildren, and not one of those ingrates is even willing to clean up his own room. —Mama Maruska, Retired Homemaker
Did 500 demonstrators really march in Downtown Cincinnati on Sunday in support of Hamas Terrorists in the Gaza Strip firing Jew-Seeking Missiles into Israel while Obama continues to chastise Israel over the number of Palestinian casualties? — Muslim Sympathizer Awan Afuqya
Did anybody see us waving our “Impeach Obama” signs from the Hopple Street Viaduct and I-75 Overpass Overpass at our Anti-Illegal Immigration Protest on Saturday. —TEA Party Tim
This weekend Obama got in his 182nd round of golf as Commander-in-Chief, and he only spent a mere four hours on the golf course that day, but his three day Disingenuous DemocRAT Fundraising Trip starting today is still on schedule. —Obama Supporters in the Press
We thought it was important for Obama to keep to his schedule so that it looked like he had everything under control. —Obama Spokesbabe
Only 25% of Likely U.S. Voters say the country is heading in the right direction. That’s the lowest finding since the beginning of December, and we now have only 15 weeks before the vital 2014 Mid-Term Elections. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
On this date in 1934 Public Enemy Number One John Dillinger was gunned down outside the Biograph Theatre in Chicago. See, there was violence in Obama’s home town even then. —Hurley the Historian
That’s why we chose that famous anti-gun control slogan: “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” But The Blower liked Eddie Izzard’s “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).” —Your Quote for Today Committee
Starting next month, our customers will be assessed $7.50 per phone line for a “Federal Subscriber Line Charge,” and Regulatory Recovery Fees will increase by 1.11% of customers’ applicable phone charges. —Warner Business Class
As if all of us TEA Party Patriots don’t have enough to complain about Ohio’s Same-Sex Senator, Rob Portman’s PAC sent $25,000 he cajoled from us for those racially charged attacks against the TEA Party in Mississippi. —Ohio TEA Party Guy Zawistowski
Sheriff’s Deputies at the Courthouse don’t racially profile all the black judges, just the uppity ones trying to sneak in with no ID. —CH Snitch at 1000 Main Street
Judge Mallory could really use a little sensitivity training. —The Ghost of Marge Schott
Did you see where all those Green Peace Vandals who destroyed property would now prefer to be called “Activists?” —Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin
Race-baiters will all be watching to see if Joe Biden and Al Sharpton invoke the name of Trayvon Martin at the National Urban League Convention in Cincinnati this week. —Belligerent Black Blogger Nate Livingston
Conservative Blacks Groups at the NAALCP Convention this week got a single tiny booth at the back of the bus, but we’re not even giving them that in Cincinnati. —National Urban League
How about them Reds? —Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall
When you saw all those new Kasich-Taylor signs in Republicans’ yards on your way to work Monday, you’ll see what a great job we did getting volunteers to go door-to-door last weekend. —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
My campaign is getting an early start placing signs illegally in the right-of-way. —An Early Bird Candidate for County Office
Putting Anti-Cincinnati Icon Tax signs anywhere in the right-of-way would be OK. —Anderson Township Trustees
How many volunteers would we need to work at Anderson Daze this weekend if organizers had made it a “politics free” event? —Anderson Township Republican Club
This year’s Fancy Farm Picnic next weekend will again be the premier political event in Kentucky. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
But you don’t have to drive all the way to Western Kentucky to hear the speeches. We’ll be broadcasting them live. —Kentucky Educational Television
All of my supporters will be watching. —U.S. Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell
And my campaign will be e-mailing Dumbed Down DemocRATS every ten minutes asking for donations. —Alison Wondergams Grimes
Don’t forget, I intend to launch my U.S. Senate campaign at the annual Fancy Farm Picnic even though I won’t actually appear on the ballot — and even though I’m not even a real person. —”Honest” Gil Fulbright

Several people from Kentucky were included in Monday’s Focus Group E-dition. —Former Former TV5 Anchorwoman Norma Rashid
I told them the Feds shouldn’t be dropping off more Illegal Aliens in Alexandria because Obama ignored warnings of his Border Crisis for two years since it was a “Local” Issue. —Earl Pitts, Taxidermist
And I asked why the U.S. Supreme Court keeps ruling against unions. —Ed Norton, Still Furloughed Northern Kentucky Sewer Worker
We’re trying our best to get an interview with Honest Gil Fullbright. —Trish the Dish at Channel 19 News
The most fun part of my job is flying over the Northern Kentucky Nudist Camp in Florence as well as the Paradise Gardens at 6100 Blue Rock Road in Colerain Township. —Dan Carroll, WCPO-TV’s Chopper 9 Helicopter Voyeur

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Greenpeace Vandals.

—Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower makes fun of so-called Focus Groups to show that people lie about why they do things, confusing what they wish with what they actually believe (unconscious lies), they make up reasons to justify their preference to themselves, and say what they think the moderator wants to hear (polite lies), and they contradict themselves without realizing it.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially members of the Whistleblower Focus Group

FRIGHTENING FORECASTS HOT LINE

e-mail your political prophecies today.

Some doom-and-gloom items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally doom-and-gloom subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use more.

WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

Vladimir Putin and Barack Obama

(Sent in by The Blower’s Cyber-Spy Columnist Edward Snowden, who says “Now you see why I’m sticking with Putin.”)

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Whistleblower Newswire

Some of the News They Seem to Lose

Official “Watching and Dithering” E-dition