Friday, July 18, 2014
The Countdown Has Already Begun
Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says all that hype from Baseball’s 2014 Major League All Star Game this week had not even begun to subside before our local media started cranking up the local hype machine for a whole year’s worth of propaganda and publicity about the 2015 All Star Game in Cincinnati, especially since Baseball Commissioner Bug Sellig generously said Convicted Felon Pete Rose could buy a ticket, just like any other fan.
If you think all that hype about retiring Yankee’s shortstop Derek Jeter (whom the Cincinnati Reds could’ve picked in 1994) ruined Tuesday’s game, just wait till you see how our local folks turn the 2015 All Star Game in Cincinnati into a Celebration of Sainthood for a Peter Edward Rose, whose Hall of Shame record of disgrace for the Game of Baseball will probably never be eclipsed.
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
Why, it’s none other than Hamilton County Common Pleas Judge Norbert Nadel, whose unprecedented ruling gave Pete Rose a 14-day reprieve in his legal battle with then Baseball Commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti.
That’s why The Blower, whose Beloved Publisher Charles Foster Kane saw every home game Pete Rose played in as a Cincinnati Red, was honored to choose Judge Nadel to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors, and our Quote for Today Committee chose Judge Nadel’s: “I still hope Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane never tells people what he saw in the back seat that time I triple-dated with him and Ronny Klein when I actually had a date to a high school dance.”
Judge Nadel also said, after Tracie Hunter’s Current Attorney claimed he would be ready for her trial because he could convince any jury once he began to talk that “black was white,” Nadel said that’s for sure the only hope that guy has of getting that bitch off.”
- “I LOVE MATHEMATICS” by Albert Einstein
The odds of winning the Florida lottery are 1 in 22,957,480.
The odds of winning the Powerball are 1 in 175,223,510.
The odds of winning Mega Millions are 1 in 258,890,850.
The odds of a disk drive failing in any given month are roughly one in 36. The odds of two different drives failing in the same month are roughly one in 36 squared, or 1 in about 1,300. The odds of three drives failing in the same month is 36 cubed or 1 in 46,656.
The odds of seven different drives failing in the same month (like what happened at the IRS when they received a letter asking about emails targeting conservative and pro Israeli groups) is 36 to the 7th power = 1 in 78,664,164,096. (that’s over 78 Billion for all of you FCPS alumni) In other words, the odds are greater that you will win the Florida Lottery 342 times than having those seven IRS hard drives crashing in the same month.
- “GHOSTS IN THE WHITE HOUSE,” by Monica Lewinsky
When Hillary Clinton is sworn in as President in 2017, she will finally be disposed of Bill will be spending her first night alone in the White House. She will have been waiting for a lifetime for this.
On the first night: Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her, and Hillary asks, “How can I best serve my country?” Washington says, “Never tell a lie.” “Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”
On the second night: the next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears, and Hillary asks, “How can I best serve my country?” Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.” “Ohhh! I really, really don’t want to do that,” Hillary replies.
On the Third night: the ghost of Abraham Lincoln appears and Hillary again asks, “How can I best serve my country?” Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”
- “WHICH SIDE OF THE FENCE,” Not Written by Jeff Foxworthy
If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test.
If a Conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one. If a Liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a Conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat. If a Liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a Conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. If a Liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
If a Conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. If a Liberal is down-and-out he wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a Conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels. A Liberal demands that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a Conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church. A Liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
If a Conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. If a Liberal decides he needs health care, he demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a Conservative reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A Liberal will delete it because he’s “offended!”
Well, I forwarded it.
- AND A QUICKIE By Bubba Watson
The Injured Golfer
A woman was playing golf when she took a big swing and fell.
The party waiting behind her was a group from Washington, DC that included Barack Obama, who quickly stepped forward and helped her to her feet.
She thanked him and started to leave, when he said, “I’m Barack Obama and I hope you’ll vote for DemocRATS in the 2014 election.
She laughed and quickly said, “Sorry, Mr. President, I fell on my ass, not my head.”
These items are perfect to forward to all of your Internet Buddies and Facebook Friends with too much time on their hands.
Stories We’reWorking On
Polls say Obama’s Illegal Immigrants are Nation’s Top Problem- Majority of Americans Oppose Housing Illegal Immigrants in Their State
- Obama Vows to Reduce Deportations
- Immigration Turns Election Strategies on Their Heads
- Dems Push Amnesty
- Feds Releasing Children into Unsafe Homes
- How Many Illegal Immigrants Coming to Cincinnati?
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s why the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said they still don’t support Obama’s Trillion Dollar ObamaCare Nightmare:
(A) It’s going to cost a freaking fortune: 2%
(B) Don’t want to pay medical care for 40 million illegal immigrants: 1%
(C) Their own doctors said they’d refuse to treat them: 1%
(D) If it’s not good enough for the Obamas or Members of Congress, the rest of us don’t want it either: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Some of Today’s Conservative Political Cartoons
Weekly Whistleblower Limerick Contest
Houston, We Really Have a Problem!
This week, everybody who remembers the safe return of the Apollo 11 Spacecraft 45 years ago today, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is a boyhood Neil Armstrong’s next-door neighbor, Mr. Gorsky, whom the first moonwalker recalled during his historic lunar landing.
Mr. Gorsky wins an official photograph of Obama from his photo-op with Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins, and Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin in the Oval Office on July 20, 2009 to commemorate their historic landing; a White House Video of Obama’s speech where he claimed to be in Hawaii during the moonwalk when his own biography says he was really living in Indonesia at the time, and an official White House clarification concerning Obama’s account of being in Hawaii during the event.
Not since Bill Clinton got caught lying about watching black churches being torched in Arkansas when none ever caught on fire has a presidential memory been discredited so quickly. No wonder our Quote for the Day Committee chose Abraham Lincoln’s: “No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.”
Mr. Gorsky’s winning entry is:
Back when America put a man on the moon
The national debt had yet to balloon.
“Made in the USA” was still a good motto
And we weren’t called “arrogant” by some a-hole mulatto.
Apollo 11 was the sweetest patriotic tune.
And from the Anderson Laureate, who wonders why they don’t give out Pulitzer Prizes for Limericks:
Back when Americans put a man on the moon,
Apollo 11 was the spacemen’s cocoon.
Just about eight years sooner
Before the expedition lunar
A Hawaiian and Kenyan spawned a buffoon.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“Liberal outrage is so phony and fake”
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Deadbeat DemocRAT John Glenn, who Hurley the Historian says just happened to be born on today’s day in 1921. Is that a coincidence or what?!
2015 ALL STAR GAME HOT LINE
e-mail your money for tickets today.
Some Pete Rose Worshiping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Pete Rose Worshiping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Heritage Foundation Panelist on Radical Islam
(Sent in by Heritage Foundation President Jim DeMint, formerly a Conservative Congressman from South Carolina)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
