Thursday, July 17 2014
Time for Another Obama Photo Op?
Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says a near-majority of Americans want the undocumented immigrant children currently being held at the border deported as soon as possible, even though only about one-third of adults think these children have someplace safe to return to.
Today Emma Lazarus probably wouldn’t say, “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore.” These days she’d probably say: “Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed back home where they belong.
Meanwhile, as the Obama Administration considers housing Illegal Immigrants at a multimillion-dollar hotel that includes swimming pools, tennis courts, and Jacuzzis, this weekend, during the so-called National Protest Against Obama’s Illegal Alien Invasion, protesters in Cincinnati are scheduled to be on the Hopple Street Viaduct and I-75 Overpass, Saturday, July 19, 11:00am – 4:00pm. There’ll probably be more “Impeach Obama” signs, like we saw last year in Boone, Kenton, and Campbell Counties when Vonda Pickens and her Northern Kentucky TEA Party rabble rousers took to the barricades.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1980, Ronald Reagan formally accepted the GOP nomination for president, but he didn’t announce his running mate until later.- THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Reagan’s “Say hello to my former adversary, George Herbert Walker Bush.”
- MORE NAKED LADIES: Today is Yellow Pig Day. Sunday we were mistaken when we thought today would be National Pig Day (which is always March 1) and we promised not to display pictures of any of the unattractive undressed women taken by Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl during Monday’s National Nude Day Photo Contest at the Northern Kentucky Nudist Camp in Florence. Meanwhile, Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend Joe Wessels is still complained that nobody’s publicizing nudist camps in Cincinnati.
Joe says, “Hasn’t anybody ever heard of Paradise Gardens, offering you a unique way to enjoy your favorite sport?” As Cincinnati’s ONLY nudist resort, those perverts find that playing volleyball nude allows you a freedom that has to be experienced to be understood.
From Kentucky and downtown Cincinnati: Travel North on Interstate I – 75 through downtown Cincinnati, Ohio. Take Interstate I – 74 (West), To Interstate I -275 (East), To Ronald Reagan Cross County Highway (Exit 31). Take the Blue Rock RD exit. Turn Left onto Blue Rock Rd (North). Once you go under I – 275, go approximately 1 mile to 6100 Blue Rock Road. Look for the RED POT BELLIED STOVE on your right, climb our driveway and use the call box at the gate.
Meanwhile at tonight’s monthly meeting, Trustee Andy Pappas will be announcing that a Family Friendly Nudist Camp will be opening in Anderson in the very near future.
FACT CHECK NEEDED: Did Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin really say Cincinnati’s Stupid Streetcar was costing over-taxed payers $65,000 an inch? We’re asking our Curmudgeon to check his figures. Somehow, wasting $65,000-per-inch on Dainty DemocRAT Former Mayor Mark Mallory’s Trolley Folly’s doesn’t seem nearly enough.- RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: Will speakers at next week’s Urban League convention in Cincinnati really include race-baiter Al Sharpton?
BUSINESSES YOU REALLY CAN’T TRUST: At yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about that call from the Better Business Bureau The Blower received the other day. “Warner Cable Business Class makes us buy business telephones,” Kane explained. “So when you’re listed as a ‘business,’ you get all kinds of interesting calls from people trying to sell you something. The Better Business Bureau was trying to sell us something and they said we were ‘Qualified’ to be listed as a ‘Better Business’ in Greater Cincinnati, and it took an hour and a half to convince the lady that we really weren’t.” - FOODLESS FISHWRAPPERS: Ladies, why haven’t you seen your “Food Section” in YOUR Wednesday Fishwrap for the past two weeks? Metro Mole says, maybe they just left it out and didn’t tell anybody just to see if any of their dumbed-down readers noticed, since they didn’t think anybody read it anyway.
- GAY WAY UPDATE: Whistleblower Alternate Lifestyles Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis say because The Blower never wants to offend anyone again like we did with our Homorama Parody Ad in Edition #55 published on June 18, 1991, the All-New Politically Sensitive Whistleblower should always check out the latest Offensive Terms To Avoid in the Media Reference Guide published by GLAAD, formerly the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.
For example, “Homosexual” is offensive. “Gay” and “Lesbian” would be preferred. “Sexual Preference” is offensive. “Sexual Orientation” is better. “Homosexual Lifestyle” is offensive. You should say “Gay Lives” instead. Don’t say “Admitted Homosexual” or “Avowed Homosexual.” Gaywads prefer “Openly Lesbian,” “Openly Gay,” and “Openly Bisexual.” And never ever say “Special Rights.” Say “Equal Rights” or “Equal Protection” instead. Terms like “Deviant,” “Disordered,” “Dysfunctional,” “Diseased,” “Perverted,” “Destructive” and similar descriptions should also be avoided.
Asked for a comment, over at Citizens for Community Values, Phil Burr-ass can hardly believe we have to go through all of this BS for just 2.3% of the population.
- IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says former Channel 19 News Guy Ben Schwann reports Kentucky Fourth District Congressman Thomas Massie had urged the president in March to declassify 28 pages from the 9/11 congressional investigation report, providing more information to the general public. Commenting on Facebook following a press conference last Friday, Rep Massie said, “As I read it, and we all had our own experience, I had to stop every couple of pages and just sort of try to absorb and try to rearrange my understanding of history. “It challenges you to re-think everything. I think the whole country needs to go through that.” Do you think anybody at The Fishwrap would think that’s story would be worth covering?
FINALLY, WE HAVE BLUEGRASS BIKINIS: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says the Summer Heat Wave continues and everybody’s headed to the swimming pool these days.
Naturally, Miss Vicki says Northern Kentucky ladies want to look their best, and young entrepreneurs are springing up to take advantage of the economic opportunities. For example, Horny in Hebron’s son Hugo is now offering Bikini Waxes. We wonder where the kid got that idea.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Horny in Hebron’s enterprising young son Hugo.
More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans
Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our July fund-raising drive by the Bikini Waxers Association, not currently being taxed under the new Obamacare guidelines like John Boehner’s Tanning Parlors.
BIKINI WAXERS HOT LINE
E-mail your appointment preferences today.
Some bikini waxing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally bikini waxing Whistleblower Subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Marcy’s Waxing Salon
(Sent in by Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend Marsie Newbold, who spells her name differently, but still gave her dog a wax job.
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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