Sunday, July 13, 2014
The Whistleblower Week in Review
OUR NUMBER ONE OBAMA’S BORDER CRISIS STORY THIS WEEK was on Wednesday when Obama made just another meaningless political speech in Texas, where he once again politicized the Border Crisis by attacking Republicans, especially House Republicans and threw out a $3.7 billion demand without a specific plan of action or policy outline.
- OUR NUMBER TWO OBAMA’S BORDER CRISIS STORY THIS WEEK was when Oklahoma GOP Senator Tom Coburn said $8 million would be enough to buy first-class tickets to send all those illegal immigrants home. Wisconsin GOP Senator Ron Johnson says, “Obama’s $3.7 Billion Border Crisis Solution” doesn’t add up. If you take $3.7 billion and divide it by 52,000 children, that’s $71,000 per person.” And think of all those Frequent Flyer Miles over-taxed payers would earn.
- AND OUR NUMBER THREE OBAMA’S BORDER CRISIS STORY THIS WEEK was when Obama said there was no reason for him actually to visit the border to see firsthand the crisis that he created by giving temporary amnesty to DREAMers in 2012 and vowing to ease deportations with executive actions. Obama also said he was not interested in “political theater” or “photo-ops,” and took off for a couple of DemocRAT fundraisers. If there is anyone playing politics and using this crisis as just another means to extort more over-taxed payers’ dollars, that person’s name is Barack Hussein Obama.
- MONDAY in our Special “Anti-Social Networking” E-dition, The Blower said, “Shouldn’t Politicians Use Two-Faced Books?”
All That Twitters Is Not Gold
At yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about all that Social Networking Nonsense you can’t get away from.
Some people claim Social Networking has encouraged new ways to communicate and share information, and Social Networking websites are being used regularly by gazillions of dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct uninformed short-attention-span people. We even have a Video called “Social Networking in Plain English.”
According to Wikipedia (the free encyclopedia), these days some of the most popular Social Networks include Facebook, Google+, YouTube, and Twitter. You might even see their logos on some of the e-mails you receive or web sites you visit. Those logos mean you can waste even more of your time joining their Social Networks.
[READ MORE HERE]
- TUESDAY in our Special “Anti-Social Media” E-dition, The Blower said, “A Winner never Twits and a Twitter never wins!” and our “Real Tweets from Real Twits” included:
If you want to see what this nation has really become during the “Age of Obama,” just look at the twaddle people are Tweeting to each other these days. —Stunned Sociologists
We’re all Tweeting more but actually communicating less. —Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice
Look what happened when we started sending each other e-mails. —Lazy Letter Writers
And just look at how Tweets are replacing meaningful dialogue. —Gifted Conversationalists
You won’t believe how many “Friends” we have. —The Whistleblower Faux FaceBook Page
[READ MORE HERE]
- WEDNESDAY in our Special “Fake Facebook Advisory” E-dition,The Blower said, “Sign off from Facebook and step away from your computer!
Did you ever wonder why we always tell you to Just say “Hell No” to Social Networking on the Whistleblower Disclaimers Page?
[READ MORE HERE]
- THURSDAY, in our Special “Read our Lips” E-dition,The Blower said, “No New Amnesty!”
Amnesty-Fest Cancelled
Plans for CincyAmnesty.com’s Amnesty-Fest at Yeatman’s Cove in conjunction with the City of Cincinnati and the Cincinnati Recreation Commission had to be called off after the Disingenuous DemocRATS’ “No Illegal Alien Left Behind Bill” failed in Congress.
Obama had hoped for a bipartisan victory in Congress, but with TEA Party Republicans still controlling the House, Obama got a big fat defeat instead. Meanwhile, Obama is even facing criticism from his own party for visiting Texas to raise money for DemocRATS while rebuffing invitations to see the influx of illegal immigrant minors — a day after requesting nearly $4 billion to address the crisis.
In Washington, our DC Newsbreaker says all four tri-state senators (Sherrod Brown, Portman, McConnell, and Paul) caved into the intense pressure from their constituents. Even Disgraced Former Ohio Senator Mike DeWhine says he would’ve voted to kill the Amnesty Bill.
That’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Richard Lamm’s “Amnesty is a big billboard, a flashing billboard, to the rest of the world that we don’t really mean our immigration law.”
Moises, Julio, Alfredo, and Jose say events being called off include Wetbacks Crossing the Ohio River-on-a- Raft sponsored by the INS; Illegal Immigrant Night at Mediocre American Ball Park, sponsored by Senor Bob Castellini; Fountain Square Burrito Eating Contest sponsored by Beano; a Pro-Amnesty Flag Desecrating Rally on at Newport on the Levee; and everybody’s favorite, Pissing on the Tree Contest at the soccer fields on Kellogg Avenue sponsored by Corona Beer.
Other folks have also been forced to change their plans because the Amnesty Bill failed.
[READ MORE HERE]
- FRIDAY, in our “Just Another Guest Column E-dition, The Blower explained, “But It’s Still the Same Old BS!”
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
Why, it’s none other than GOP Texas Governor Rick Perry, the new face of Obama’s Republican Opposition with his new Roy Orbison glasses, who said on Wednesday Obama needs to act now to stop the surge in illegal immigrants flooding across his state’s border, calling it “a humanitarian crisis that he has the ability to stop.”
That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in rewarding anybody who two-stepped his way back into the national spotlight this week, using the crisis at the border to skewer Obama while bolstering his own conservative bona fides to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors, and our Quote for Today Committee chose Rick Perry’s “Obama’s refusal to visit his own Border Crisis is no different than the criticism President George W. Bush received when he chose to fly over New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina instead of visiting the city on the ground.”
[READ MORE HERE]
- SATURDAY in our Special “Diabolical Disclaimers” E-dition, The Blower said, “Publishing The Blower means never having to say we’re sorry!”
Understanding Our Disclaimers
In a recent e-dition, The Whistleblower published comments from two guys who were shocked that one of our snitches had not told us the unvarnished truth. One of the e-mailers (the guy who quoted Hitler) must not have been a Person of Consequence, since he obviously didn’t know how The Blower works.
Because unlike other media blogs, which pretend to care about maintaining a dose of civility, The Whistleblower might still contain unlawful, threatening, abusive, libelous, defamatory, vulgar, pornographic, profane, or even indecent information.
Sometimes The Blower uses racial and ethnic slurs to show that bigotry of any kind is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a total retard.
Sometimes The Blower uses gay bashing to show that intolerance of any kind is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a real flamer, or somebody who just found out his son is afflicted with the gayness.
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of dead people to show that necrophilia in public is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a stiff.
Sometimes The Blower questions a person’s motives to show that dishonesty of any kind is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t an elected official.
And sometimes The Blower even borrows a phrase to show that plagiarism of any kind is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t on the Idiotorial Board at the Morning Fishwrap.
[READ MORE HERE]
The Libtard Show With Dixon Diaz
The Feck Starts Here
IN OHIO: Earlier this week, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders reported Cleveland had been selected to host the 2016 Republican National Convention, when the Vote Fraud Laden DemocRAT city in the critical swing state of Ohio beat out Dallas for the final nod. Cincinnati, as The Blower predicted, pulled out early during the John Barrett’s and Alex T.’s Wet Dream of bringing the RNC Convention to Totally Blue Hamilton County. - OUR FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS: And no sooner had Cleveland’s selection been announced, our Deranged Diversity Fanatics began hallucinating in print about Rob “Fighting for Same-Sex Marriage” Portman’s 2016 Presidential Campaign. Deirdre Shesgreen has been having multiple orgasms in print ever since.
And is Editrix Wedgie Washburn showing her feminist prejudice by highlighting homosexual activist judicial candidates? In a Friday’s pro-abortion article about the Sharonville Baby Killing Clinic, the staff went out of the way to highlight same-sex marriage attorney Jennifer Branch, running for Judge against Republican John Williams. Branch was probably just more photogenic than the abortionist/Haskell-supporting Judge Metz!
Meanwhile, Disarmed DemocRAT Attorney General Candidate David Pepper getting rebuffed by the Cleveland Plain Dealer in a recent article about his “facts” on rape kits backing up on the current AG (who is no friend of this publication as he reneged on his flannel shirt promise those many years ago) and those “facts” were, hmmm how shall we say it, WRONG, unfactual, inaccurate, untrue. How long before his next desperate attempt / political stunt? Or will he actually show up in a court room to actually practice law?
BIGGER NEWS FOR CLEVELAND was when NBA Superstar LeBron James’ announcement that he was returning to play basketball for the Cleveland Cavaliers. But will Ohio Governor Kasich-Taylor be welcoming LeBron home? The Blower’s surprised Dishonest DemocRAT Gubernatorial Candidate Ed Ed FitzGerald hasn’t already taken time out from being sued for his public records in Cuyahoga County to bash Kasich for instantly flip-flopping on Lebron. Ever since his run for governor in 2010, our Ohio Governor has attacked Lebron on oh-so-many occasions. Now he’s tweeting Lebron’s return is just one more job Ohio has created.- MEANWHILE, KASICH FANS: Earn your own Kasich yard sign by committing to knock on 75 doors in your own neighborhood during on the weekend of July 19 by signing up at: www.KasichForOhio.com/Volunteer. How many doors would you have to knock on to get one of those LeBron James signs the governor is holding?
- ALSO IN COLUMBUS: According to the University Herald, Students for Concealed Carry and another gun rights group have filed suit against Ohio State alleging that school’s anti-gun policies prohibit students from having firearms off campus. The plaintiffs claimed that Ohio State officials can ban students from carrying guns on campus. But, the university policy also prevents students from possessing guns during official Ohio State-related activities that occur off campus and from keeping guns in their locked cars. [READ MORE HERE]
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1881, Billy the Kid was shot to death by Sheriff Pat Garrett at the Maxwell Ranch in New Mexico. Did the thirteenth fall on a Friday that year too?- THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Clint Eastwood’s line from “Dirty Harry”: “Well, do you feel Lucky? Well do ya, Punk?”
- HE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Americans are registering a lot of pessimism these days and clearly are wondering what’s going on along the Mexican border. Americans also have said overwhelmingly for years that it’s important to close the border to future illegal immigration and the federal government still won’t do it. In fact, a surprisingly large number think the Obama administration through its policies and practices has encouraged the flood of illegal immigrant children at the border, and most want those kids sent back home as soon as possible.
THE CINCINNATI CITY MESS (YOU ONLY READ ABOUT IN THE BLOWER): When Cincinnati-based Kolar Design got the contract to develop the logo and branding standards for the Cincinnati’s Stupid Streetcar, Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin said, “Nice work if you can get it, as the song goes, but why doesn’t the City just use former-Mayor Mallory’s SEGrinnin’ face as the logo? Or maybe a shot of the interior of an empty streetcar? Either of those would easily qualify as “interpretive storytelling.” Hey, Kolar —Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception already did your job for you!
Trouble-making Tailgater Tino Delgato says, “They are deciding between a picture of George Custer, the Titanic, or a picture of Mark Mallory with a conductors cap on. M&M was there for the Freedom Museum Opening, so he might as well come back for his next sinking ship.”
Our FOP Snitch (probably not Kathy Harrell) says the suspect in the shooting in Piatt Park was last seen boarding the “streetcar” which runs thru the middle of Piatt Park. Maybe if the Police Chief stayed around seven days a week he’d know what’s going on and get a handle on it. He’s just another city leader who leaves every Friday afternoon for his residence in Columbus, Ohio, and returns mid morning on Monday.
- A CALLER TO DA BUZZ was talkin’ bout gettin’ a vasectomy, cause one kid was enough and expensive. Then he said, “Don’t be S-T-O-O-P-I-D use protection! ” Then he spelled out “stupid” the hood way!
REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES want everyone to listen to the infamous Brian Thomas interview with Bob McDonald on the Arts Tax plan that jacks up Sales Taxes by at least $315 million. McDonald could not have been more of a pompous jackass, and especially starting into the FOURTH minute of the interview. [LISTEN HERE]
Our Curmudgeon was also amused reading Cliff Radel’s puff piece about “Old-time shopkeepers cornering the market on loyalty.”
RE: “None of these markets qualifies as a superstore in size. They are not part of a massive chain. But they create a superstore’s worth of goodwill in a neighborhood.” Uh, Cliff, the purpose of a market is to make a profit for its owners! The only reason Kroger has its de facto free store in OTR is public relations blackmail. I’ll bet you a box of day-old Kroger donuts that that OTR store does not pay its way.
RE: “‘In some neighborhoods, where many people don’t have cars, people need to be close to a food outlet. They don’t have the time or money to take a bus or a taxi to buy groceries,’ Russell said.” Surely Mr. Russell jests. No? Seriously? Well, sometimes the do-do The Fishwrap chooses to print gets so deep you just have to roll up your pants legs and slog out of the room.
CORRUPTION IN COLERAIN:Colerain’s all-Republican board of trustees (and faithfully following fiscal officer who facilitated Fiedeldey’s follies) prepares to give in to Rumpke and let them double their landfill, consigning Colerain Township’s fate as “The Garbage Capital of Ohio” for the next hundred years.
Colerain Township has posted on its web page that they will be holding a public meeting on July 21, 2014 at 6 PM to gather input on the expansion of the Rumpke Landfill. The tentative consent decree is listed in the meeting notification along with a “Newsletter.” The Consent Decree (unsigned) is your evidence that lawyers for the Township and Rumpke have been meeting behind closed doors for some time. To our knowledge, residents have not been given any update prior to the announcement of this public meeting.
- FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: Has anybody taken time to investigate if the Washington Court House Schools actually allowed a 34-year experienced teacher last year to resign after teaching the actual test to her students hoping for better scores? This year, a similar action by a 14-year teacher who “coughed” to help students know that they needed to review their standard test answers is expected to resign or be fired. Wow, that school board means it: no teacher cheating to improve your state scores to give yourself success on your own evaluations.
TAX HIKE ALERT: The Forrest Gump School District’s insidious public relations campaign promoting its proposed tax hike rolls on, and so far, not even TEA Party Trustee Angry Andrew Pappas has said a thing about it.- IN NORTHERN KENTUCY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo according to the Dissociated Press, Senator Mitch McConnell and Ditzy DemocRAT Challenger Alison Wondergams Grimes have agreed to debate each other, just not at the same time. Now the two campaigns can begin their debate about when to have debates.
Stars and Stripes reports in Henderson County (wherever the hell that is), Sheriff Ed Brady has obtained roughly $1 million in equipment for the county through the military surplus program, including Humvees, a bucket truck, and a mine-resistant, ambush-protected vehicle known as an MRAP, which is perfect for going after moonshiners.
Everybody knows “Hypocrisy” has been a favorite subject in the Whistleblower for many years. 23 years ago in the July 9, 1991 Edition, Legendary Bureau Chief J.R. Hatfield wrote about the duplicity in the Commonwealth over the new DUI Law that had just gone into effect. [SEE EDITION # 58 HERE]
Channel 9 “Substantially True” News is reporting that Shayna Hubers, the woman accused of killing her boyfriend in October 2012 took the stand in a Campbell County courtroom Monday, asking a judge for the second time if she can post bail. Amazingly, Ms Hubers was not being represented by Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters.
IS IT COLLECTION TIME AGAIN?
It must be, since your Neighborhood News Boy or Girl will be stopping by to collect $3.50 for delivery of this month’s Blower. The children retain half of this amount plus any tips you give them to reward good service.
This week we’re featuring “Gex” Wanker, a bright little 9-year-old Bluegrass boy at Ridgerunner Elementary School, whose cruel classmates continue to taunt him mercilessly, not just because he’s years older than the other kindergartners, but because his name “Gex” rhymed with “Sex.” For information about our carrier program, please call Mr. Scamwell at our circulation department.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #204, says you should quote Joe Biden. “Look, [John’s McCain’s] last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs.”
LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked David Letterman’s “The Republican National Convention is going to be held in 2016 in Cleveland. They outbid New York City. Cleveland beat New York City. And I’m thinking to myself: Wait a minute, this is not right. Hookers and bribes don’t work anymore? What is the problem?”- LATE NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: Summer is well under way and we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves.
Seeing is Believing
It’s time to grab the bathing suit
To have a refreshing swim.
And check to see if all the girls
Have got their bikini trim.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible who learned to hate taxes at an early age. [READ MORE HERE]
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “FREE STUFF ON THE FOURTH,” the Patronage County Commissioners considered a proposal to generate a little extra income for some needy people at the courthouse, and Swindle Advertising was awarded the right to sell advertising displays on rest room walls in all county buildings. This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols. In fact, is appeared as part of The Muckraker series, in something called The Zinzinnati News in July 1981 (whatever the hell that was).
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others.
This includes all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
It probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice.
FINALLY AT FRIDAY’S MEETING OF CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane what he thought about Wednesday’s Border Crisis Press Conference. “It was the same lies and hypocrisy he’s spewed on every crisis from Day One.” Fox News should’ve shown the “Bullshit Meter” every time Obama opened his mouth.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
Monday (July 14) we’ll be celebrating Bastille Day, while we’re continuing to count down the 921 Days of Dishonesty for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.- Tuesday (July 15) is Major League Baseball’s “All-Star Game,” and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will try to explain why the Reds still aren’t in first place.
- Wednesday, (July 16) we’ll be displaying pictures of attractive undressed women taken at Monday’s National Nude Day Photo Contest at the Northern Kentucky Nudist Camp in Florence.
- Thursday (July 17) is National Pig Day, and we promise not to display any of the unattractive undressed women taken at Monday’s National Nude Day Photo Contest at the Northern Kentucky Nudist Camp in Florence.
- The first line of Friday’s (July 18) limerick is: “Back when America put a man on the moon.”
- And Saturday (July 19) we’ll be publishing our annual “Historic Headlines” E-dition and we’ll see if you can figure out why.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Cincinnati Bell CEO John Cassidy who was reportedly awarded a $9 million bonus while Cincinnati Bell retirees lost their health insurance?
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
The Obama Supporter Beauty Pageant
(Sent in by Jim Messina, Chair of Obama’s Organizing for Action)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
