Thursday, July 10, 2014
Amnesty-Fest Cancelled
Plans for CincyAmnesty.com’s Amnesty-Fest at Yeatman’s Cove in conjunction with the City of Cincinnati and the Cincinnati Recreation Commission had to be called off after the Disingenuous DemocRATS’ “No Illegal Alien Left Behind Bill” failed in Congress.- Obama had hoped for a bipartisan victory in Congress, but with TEA Party Republicans still controlling the House, Obama got a big fat defeat instead. Meanwhile, Obama is even facing criticism from his own party for visiting Texas to raise money for DemocRATS while rebuffing invitations to see the influx of illegal immigrant minors — a day after requesting nearly $4 billion to address the crisis.
- In Washington, our DC Newsbreaker says all four tri-state senators (Sherrod Brown, Portman, McConnell, and Paul) caved into the intense pressure from their constituents. Even Disgraced Former Ohio Senator Mike DeWhine says he would’ve voted to kill the Amnesty Bill.
- That’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Richard Lamm’s “Amnesty is a big billboard, a flashing billboard, to the rest of the world that we don’t really mean our immigration law.”
- Moises, Julio, Alfredo, and Jose say events being called off include Wetbacks Crossing the Ohio River-on-a- Raft sponsored by the INS; Illegal Immigrant Night at Mediocre American Ball Park, sponsored by Senor Bob Castellini; Fountain Square Burrito Eating Contest sponsored by Beano; a Pro-Amnesty Flag Desecrating Rally on at Newport on the Levee; and everybody’s favorite, Pissing on the Tree Contest at the soccer fields on Kellogg Avenue sponsored by Corona Beer.
Other folks have been forced to change their plans because the Amnesty Bill failed.
AFL-CIO labor leaders were forced to postpone their Amnesty Rally, where they’d planned to introduce “Aspiring American Workers” as the new term to describe Illegal Immigrants, as Illegal Immigrants wore their Obama Shoes whenever they crossed the border illegally.- Those seven rag-tag groups of petitioners with seven different reasons to support bringing more illegal immigrants to Cincinnati
- could not offer amnesty to that genius who decided to hold a press conference and announce how few signatures they had actually collected.
Real Republicans could not offer Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T. Mall Cop GOP amnesty for failing to bring the 2016 Republican National Convention to the Cincinnati.- Disgruntled DemocRATS could not offer Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka amnesty for the way he’s running the Party.
- With only 117 more days till the November Elections, there will be no amnesty for voters from all those useless political TV ads.
- The Committee for Character in Congress could no longer offer amnesty to Rob “Fighting for Fagellas” Portman for supporting same-sex marriage for Hispanic Homos.
- Real Republicans in Ohio’s Eighth Congressional District could never offer amnesty to John Boehner for not agreeing with Sarah Palin that the time was finally right for Obama to be impeached.
- Official 2014 Whistleblower/ Smith & Wesson/ Murder Counters could no longer be offering amnesty to poor misunderstood yoofs in Piatt Park on the City’s Most Likely Killers List.
Cincinnati Reds fans could no longer offer amnesty to Senor Bob Castellini for the hometown team’s not being in first place by next week’s All Star Break.- At the Hamilton County Courthouse, Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters could no longer justify offering amnesty to Indicted Ditzy DemocRAT Hamilton County Juvenile Court Judge Tracie Hunter for calling him a “Vindictive Motherfucker.”
Over at the Fishwrap, Metro Mole says gossipers could no longer offer amnesty for any adulterers and adulteresses in the newsroom.- In Columbus, House Republicans could no longer offer amnesty to State Rep-Tile Peter $tautberg, after they blew $112,039 on in-kind support trying to beat “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman.
- Anti-taxers could no longer offer amnesty to Lying Liberals on Clown-cil who are wasting all that money on a stupid Streetcar while City-owned landmarks like Music Hall and Union Terminal needed repair.
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says you don’t need to offer amnesty to get people from Ohio to move to Kentucky. Lower taxes work just fine.- NoKY Politics watchers can no longer offer amnesty to Alison Wondergams Grimes’ Senate Campaign for continually whining about how much money groups supporting Kentucky Senator Bitch McConnell are sending his campaign.
- Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E. Rob Sanders says he’s not about to offer amnesty to Illegal Immigrants.
- Over at the Kenton County Escape Center, Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl says he can no longer offer amnesty to prisoners who walk away from work details.
That Cabal of NoKY Attorneys Still Out to Destroy Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters (Including the Lisa Wells Fan Club) says offering amnesty to “Crazy Eric” was never considered.- Horny in Hebron could not offer amnesty to TV 12 for not being able to keep sassy salsa-babe Sasha Rionda on the air, because he can’t watch “Detalles con Sasha” on CNN Espanol.
- Miss Vicki says guys on short leashes will continue to do exactly what they’re told, and still offer amnesty to all those uptight bitches in Fort Mitchell for faking their orgasms.
- Michael Liquid Plummer and Nathan Cornbread Smith say they’ll never offer amnesty to any bartender who waters down their drinks.
DemocRAT Dominatrix Kathy Groob could not offer amnesty to the U.S. Supreme Court for their Hobby Lobby decision.- Romance Book readers could still not offer amnesty to author Rick “the BatBoy” Robinson for lifting entire passages of their passionate prose for his bodice-ripping, hot-moist breath whispering shallowly from her lungs; feeding from the sweetness of her mouth; uncommonly sensitive perky young breasts that tingled to his touch; her muscular, milky-white thighs igniting his sideburns; firm-round buttocks still bearing the imprint of his fingers from the last time he had to hold on for dear life; moving her lower body in a frenzied fervor; pulsating waves of pleasure; though it seemed impossible, he delved deeper into her with each rhythmic push, guiding his turgid manhood inch by incredible inch past her voluptuous vulva (not the car), so that love’s sweet lava could flow into her wet-and-willing tunnel-of-love novel, which includes that memorable 14-page-long blow job scene beginning on Page 64.
- Finally, Moises and Julio were panhandling at the freeway off-ramp. Moises drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend. Julio only collects two to three dollars a day. Julio asked Moises how he can bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day. “Look at my sign,” Moises explained, “It reads ‘I only need another $10 to move back to Mexico.’ “
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Dirty Sanchez.
More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans
Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our July fund-raising drive by the DemocRAT National Committee, using Amnesty to create more Illegal DemocRAT Voters.
WHAT’S NEXT AFTER AMNESTY HOT LINE
e-mail your illegal immigration solutions today.
Some vile-and-disgusting items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally vile-and-disgusting subscribers, like this picture showing the mood when it was announced that Amnesty Fest had been cancelled.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Immigration is a Funny Thing
(Sent in by Butler County Sheriff Richard K. Jones, who says “No Amnesty for all those Wetbacks.
PLUS
Ray Stevens – Come to the USA
Play “Border Patrol”
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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