Special “Anti-Social Media” E-dition

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Real Tweets from Real Twits

  • image005If you want to see what this nation has really become during the “Age of Obama,” just look at the twaddle people are Tweeting to each other these days. —Stunned Sociologists
  • We’re all Tweeting more but actually communicating less. —Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice
  • Look what happened when we started sending each other e-mails. —Lazy Letter Writers 
  • And just look at how Tweets are replacing meaningful dialogue. —Gifted Conversationalists
  • image008You won’t believe how many “Friends” we have. —The Whistleblower Faux FaceBook Page   
  • Tweets make our jobs easier. —English Teachers and Grammarians
  • Remember when we used to spend hours each day writing letters? —Lonely Lovers
  • These days, we have couples text each other to express their true feelings. —Marriage Counselors 
  • The so-called social media doesn’t make people more sociable. —Divorce Attorneys
  • Twitter makes it easy for people to spread rumors and lies. —Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel

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  • Twitter makes it easy to spew “Hate Speech” too. —Networking Nazis 
  • image012Just think how we create havoc with Twitter. —Irresponsible Celebrities
  • Social contact enables people with dementia to maintain their level of functioning longer. —Recognized Researchers
  • When we were teenagers, we actually spent hours every day talking to each other on the phone. —Geezer Citizens, Trying to Remember How It Used To Be
  • The best part about getting all those Tweets at the newspaper is they don’t take long to read. —Lazy Reporters
  • image013And printing somebody’s Tweet is easier than getting a real quote. —Furloughed Fishwrappers
  • Why do you think they keep firing our lazy reporters? —Metro Mole
  • Using Twitter, somebody wouldn’t have to call all those press conferences to get his name in the papers. —“JayWalking Joe” Deters
  • Sending out Tweets makes it easy to keep the media interested in your vice presidential campaign. —Rob “Fighting for Facebook” Portman
  • Twitter makes it easy to stay in touch when you’re out of sight. —“Junketing Jean” Schmidt
  • Or just plain “Out of Touch.” —Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
  • With Twitter, I certainly don’t even need a press secretary. —“Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup
  • We can hardly wait to Twitter in the Streetcar. —Misguided Meterosexuals
  • Is my Trolley Folly still on budget?—Twittering Mark Mallory 
  • image015Disgruntled followers can Tweet you anonymously. —Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka
  • When inmates walk away from work details at the Kenton County Escape Center, they can always send us a Tweet to let us know they’re OK. —“Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl
  • You know you’re addicted to Twitter if you’ve already checked your Twitter account three times before finishing this E-dition of The Blower. —Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders
  • You know you’re addicted to Twitter if you instantly tweet about everything you do, and you no longer see the point of confessing in church.—Nathan “Cornbread” Smith
  • You know you’re addicted to Twitter if You know where the Twitterers Twanonymous 12-step meetings are held and regularly attend. —Horny in Hebron
  • image016Can you raise a lot of money for your Senate campaign on Twitter? —Alison Wondergams Grimes
  •  Did anybody see my latest Tweet?—Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters 
  • We couldn’t stop Tweeting when a federal judge in Kentucky struck down the state’s ban on gay marriage last week. —Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis
  • Who started this Twitter madness anyhow? —Hurley the Historian
  • Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to Tweet free. —Your Quote for Today Committee
  • When somebody compares your newscast to a Twitter message, is that a compliment? —Trish the Dish at TV 19
  • You won’t believe how much all those suckers are willing to pay for cell phones and wireless service. — AT&T, Verizon, Sprint Nextel, and T-Mobile

image025Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Disgraced DemocRAT Former Congressman Anthony Weiner, a Twitter Twit, if ever we saw one.

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—  Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer—

          Sometimes The Blower ridicules Twitterers to show that Time-wasting Tweeting is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t reading this message on his cell phone.

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          This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Faux FaceBook Friends.    

TWITTERING TWITS HOTLINE

e-mail your Terrible Tweets today.

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Some social networking items in today’s Blower were sent in by our social networking subscribers.

WHISTLEBLOWER TWITTER VIDEO OF THE DAY

Code Class at Twitter!

(Sent in By Twitter Founders Evan Williams, Noah Glass, Jack Dorsey, and Biz Stone.)

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image025Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

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