Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

In this week’s Opening Statement, I told Obama “You trained and armed ISIS, and now they are coming for us.” —Judge Jeanine
Just because Obama helped overthrow Gaddafi and abruptly yanked all U.S. forces from Iraq and issued all those stupid Red Lines for Syria allowing a defeated al-Qaeda to rebuild itself, we’re “not responsible” for either the crisis in Libya, or violence in Iraq, where militants of the Al-Qaeda offshoot group ISIS are capturing cities one by one. —Obama’s Doofus Secretary of State John Kerry, Working Hard To Ensure We Have Lesbian, Bisexual, And Transgender Ambassadors
I told you we should just let Allah sort it out. —Sarah Palin
Did you see the standing ovation they gave me on House Floor when I gave an emotional speech defending the need for legislation to authorize the House or Senate to sue the executive branch for not enforcing laws? —Republican South Carolina Congressman Trey Gowdy
Did you see all the great press we got for demanding Congress Impeach Obama? —South Dakota GOP
Did you see when I called IRS Commissioner John Koskinen a liar over computer hard drive “crashes” supposedly causing emails sought by investigators to be lost, at least until the day after the November elections? —Republican Wisconsin Congressman Paul Ryan
How about when I introduced “The Dog Ate My Tax Receipts Act” that would allow over-taxed payers “to offer the same flimsy, obviously made-up excuses the Obama administration uses?” —Republican Texas Congressman Steve Stockman
Between our many over-taxed-payer funded vacations, we want our over-privileged daughters to work at minimum-wage jobs because it builds character. —Barack and Michelle
It’s really a shame the Obama Family will have to leave the White House in only 940 more days. — All those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice
On this date in 1997, the US Air Force released its long awaited report dismissing claims of alien spacecraft in Roswell, New Mexico almost exactly 50 years earlier, but Special Agent Fox Mulder told his partner Dana Scully not to stop, just to keep doing what she was doing. —Hurley the Historian
That’s why we chose the “X-Files’” catchphrase “The truth is out there.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
Getting a voter ID is complicated. That’s why I urged uninformed voters to stay home. —Herman Cain (American author, business executive, radio host, syndicated columnist, and TEA Party activist from Georgia, who was a candidate for the 2012 U.S. Republican Party presidential nomination)
Please congratulate us on another successful U.S. Supreme Court ruling Monday upholding a politicians’ Right to Lie. —Avaricious Attorneys from COAST Chris Finney and Curt Hartman

Please don’t tell your readers that LifeNews.com reported a late-term abortion practitioner in Ohio is funding my Ohio Attorney General campaign. —David Pepper
Wasn’t that Martin Haskell, the guy we told you about last week? When Pepper tries to call his opponent an extremist for opposing partial-birth abortion, remember that Pepper thinks it’s ok to deliver a baby 90% of the way and then kill it. —Republicans for Higher Taxes
When Charlie Hassle of Citizens for Community Values was the Ohio Conservative Review Guest on Sunday’s talk show (WHK 1420 AM), did he really refer to Federal Judge Tim Black as a “Black-robed Tyrant working to overturn the will of the people of Ohio?” —The Bryan Williams Radio Hour
How come Obama hasn’t sent us any of those illegal immigrants flooding our borders these days? —Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley, Still Looking for More Immigrants in Cincinnati
Did Ohio State Rep-Tile John Becker ever tell you about last Wednesday night’s Clermont County Central Committee meeting? —The Clermont Crusader
Please don’t ask us how much we’re getting paid to prosecute Ditzy DemocRAT Tracie Hunter. —Scott Crosswell and Merlin Shiverdecker (Friends of Joe)
Surely it’s not more than the $25,000 each of us were promised to defend that idiot judge, which we just got bumped up double (as least until we ask for more money). —Firooz Namei and James “The Rock” Bogen
Those Disgruntled DemocRATS certainly love to complain about the way I’m running my Party. —Hamilton County Demo Labor Party Boss Tim Burka
Just becauseLiberal Whackos at Obama’s US Patent Office cancelled the NFL Washington Redskin’s trademark, does that we now have to change our Anderson Redskins team name? —Forrest Gump School District
Did you think our Paddlefest photo of that bloated white bwana cruising down the river to Serpentine Wall with all the power provided by his Pickaninny paddlers was PC enough? —Unfurloughed Fishwrappers
Thanks for keeping all those drunken kayakers off the river last weekend. —Mothers Against Drunk Boaters
And did you see where Burka said we were guilty of ethics violations just because we diverted a little money from beer sales at the township festival to our own campaign coffers? — Sycamoron Trustees Cliff Bishop, Tom Weidman and Denny Connor
Some people are calling us hypocrites just because we wasted $112K in the House District 27 Primary attacking “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman and we’re now touting him for the very same things we attacked him for two months ago. — Ohio House Republican Caucus

The Blower missed a big story on Friday on the 50th anniversary of “BeanBall Jim” Bunning’s perfect game. — Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall
With all that lack of excitement so far, it’s hard to imagine, this November’s elections are only 133 days away. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
Hey, everybody—when I’m re-elected, I’m going to make Brent Spence Bridge funding a real priority. No kidding! —Bitch McConnell
Did everybody get his FREE “Alison for Kentucky” bumper sticker for only a $5 donation? —The Alison Wondergams Grimes’ Campaign
As the new head the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR), I hope to continue and strengthen CAIR’s efforts to enhance understanding of Islam and Muslims, to encourage civic participation by American Muslims and to build coalitions with like-minded individuals and organizations to promote justice and mutual understanding. — Erlanger attorney Roula Allouch
We keep tellingTerry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl that Joseph Hall is not here every time he shows up looking for his escaped prisoner. —Northern Kentucky Nudist Camp in Florence
Please tell everybody Former Bluegrass Governor Paul Patton will be our guest of honor at Sunday’s boat ride. —CampBell County DemocRATS
When did you say Confederate Father’s Day was? —Trish the Dish at Channel 19 News
Just because they’re not wearing any clothes doesn’t mean we’re not serious about the news. —Porn Inspectors at E Rob Sanders’ Office

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Notorious Abortionist Martin Haskell who is Out of Business in Hamilton County, after his Sharonville clinic was shut down by the Ohio Department of Health.

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer—

Sometimes The Blower ridicules Pro-Abortion Politicians to show that baby-killing is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Liberal DemocRAT.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially David Pepper.

LIBERAL ABORTIONS HOT LINE

e-mail your interesting infanticides today.

Some family values items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally family values subscribers.

WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

Jack Webb Schools Obama on Democracy

(Sent in by Conservative Columnist George Will, who says Obama is suffering from Narcissistic Policy Disorder” (a belief that everything in the world happens because of us or somehow about us and that we can do something about it).

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Whistleblower Newswire

Some of the News They Seem to Lose

Daily Archives: June 24, 2014

Special “Middle East Update” E-dition