Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
The Midterm Congressional Election Season begins today with primaries in Ohio, and on May 20 in Kentucky. Messy intraparty disputes will be settled, and the final 2014 matchups will be set. —Whistleblower Political Observers- Let’s face it. Everybody knows House Speaker John Boehner’s going going to win his primary so big, so he never even had to threaten to hold a vote to impeach Obama, but just to be sure he picked a former federal prosecutor like Fiery South Carolina Congressman Trey Gowdy to chair his House select committee which will investigate the attack in Benghazi —Photoshop Editorial Spoofer Edward Cropper
- Obama will be hitting five DemocRAT Fundraisers in just TWO days during his trip to California, and over-taxed payers will be footing the bill because
two so-called “official events” are included. —Obama’s White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard - Where can we go to “unregister” so we stop getting all those damn Robocalls? —Registered Republicans
- We’ll sure miss all those attack ads. —Greedy Local Ad Salesmen
How is anybody supposed to know which candidate to vote for until the Morning Fishwrap publishes its political endorsements? —All those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice
Our Primary Election Guide features Two Dumbed-Down Dems wasting their time running against Congressman Steve Chabothead, Four No-Name Nobodies trying to take on Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup, a Pair of Deluded D-RATS looking up a dead cow’s ass trying to unseat House Speaker John Boehner, and Two Time-Wasters vying for the honor of seeing which one will lose to Hamilton County Commissioner Chris Monzel. —Fishwrap Political Reporters 
Is The Fishwrap saying the same nice things about me in 2014 when I’m running for Congress as a Devious DemocRAT in Ohio’s First Congressional District as they said when I only got 3% of the vote running against “Bronze Star” Brad Wenstrup as a Republican in Ohio’s Second Congressional District in 2012? —Flim-Flamming Flyboy Fred Kundrata- Tonight, every so-called political writer in Ohio and talking head on TV can start saying how important the Ohio Primary was. —Whistleblower Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders
Please don’t ask how much we’re spending to keep each of our stooges on the Ohio Republican Party Central Committee, when the truth is, destroying the TEA Party is our real goal. —Ohio RINO Party Boss Matt Borges- Please don’t ask if we spent more than $250,000to smear opponents of our lackeys like $tate Rep-tile for $ale Peter $tautberg, whose campaign was paid for with 30 pieces of silver provided by lobbyists and the Ohio GOP to betray Republican voters. —Ohio Republican House Caucus
Did anything important happen at Monday’s probable cause hearing, when the Ohio Elections Commission listened to our complaint that the Ohio Republican Party had made false and misleading claims about our candidates? —Ohio TEA Party Guy Tom Z- I’ve been writing for months about the importance of voting in today’s primary. It is effectively the only election to choose someone new in our state’s many severely gerrymandered districts. It is also the only election in which the citizens can “pick the people who pick the candidates” by voting in elections for the Central Committee. Organizations such as the Ohio Citizens PACare working to support liberty candidates in the primary. Do your own research, share candidate information online, and VOTE on Tuesday, May 6. It will be two years before such an opportunity comes again. This is the moment – please do your part. In Liberty —Ted Stevenot, Ohio Liberty Coalition
I hope everyone remembers the $1,000 I donated to Peter $tautberg. It has no connection whatsoever to the fact that “Taxkiller Tom” Brinkman refused to support the Bedinghaus Stadium Sales Tax Scam that has made me RICH!” —Bungals Owner Mike Brown- We’ll be holding our regular monthly meeting on the day after the primary elections when it’ll be too late for us to do any harm. —Anderson Township Republican Club
- Is it any wonder that during this election cycle, we’ve been busier than ever exposing all of those candidates’ false claims and outright lies that members of the mainstream news media have been too lazy, too stupid, or too dishonest to report? —Whistleblower Truth Detectors
Somebody illegally placed a campaign sign in front of Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s Estate that is 50% larger than allowed by Anderson Township Zoning Code Sec. 317.112. Even worse, that sign also appears to violate The Whistleblower’s long-held policy of not endorsing candidates. —Anderson Trustee Gerth Pappas
A strange man was seen walking thru our neighborhoods impersonating “Taxkiller Tom” Brinkman Sunday afternoon. He looked a little like the “Taxkiller,” except he is a good 20 pounds lighter. —Daryl Zornes, Vice Mayor of Newtown- I disapprove of Republicans in Columbus spending all that money to lie about my good friend “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman, but I will defend to the death their Right to Lie during political campaigns. —COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney
- I would like to be included in your list of subscribers. I am a retired City police officer and current County employee. A free press is the hallmark of a free society. You sir, are one of those very few that truly understands what freedom of speech means, and continues unrestrained by your critics. —A person of Consequence, To Be Sure
- Please read our Top 10 Reasons to Support Tax Hikin’ Rick Bryan. — Republicans for Higher Taxes
- I hope the voters don’t learn about $120,000 I spent in five years on taxpayer-funded junkets to Germany. —High Flyin’ Rick Bryan
I hope the voters forget about all the money I’ve given to Devious DemocRATS David A. Pepper, Clowncil Gay Chris Squealback, Mark Mallory, and others. —Crystal Faulkner- On this day in 1937, the German airship Hindenburg, the largest dirigible ever built, exploded as it arrived in Lakehurst, New Jersey. Thirty-six people died in the fiery accident that has since become iconic, in part because of the live radio broadcast of the disaster. —Hurley the Historian
- “Oh, the humanity!” —Your Quote for Today Committee
Will we be getting as much hype for our Primary Elections in Kentucky in only 14 more days? —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo- Will we be getting all the publicity in The Blower during the next two weeks? —Northern Kentucky Candidates Listed as Faux Facebook Friends on The Whistleblower’s Facebook Page
- Teams of reporters are already camped out at the Boards of Elections in Kenton, Campbell, and Boondoggle Counties, just in case there’s any late-breaking news. —Trish the Dish, WXIX-TV News
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially anybody named $tautberg.
—Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of Newspaper Idiotorials to show that “choosing candidates” is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a discredited publication.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Feckless Fishwrappers.
VOTER SUPPRESSION HOTLINE
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Some ballot box stuffing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally ballot box stuffing subscribers.
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
Judge Jeanine Pirro Opening Statement – Benghazi Scandal Biggest Cover-up Since Watergate
(Sent in by Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend Armstrong Rhemus [99 Friends, 32 Mutual], who must be a real person or how else could he have a Facebook page?)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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