Thursday, May 1, 2014
Happy National Prayer Day, Everybody!
LET US PRAY: Whistleblower Religious Editor Fielding Mellish says today is the 63rd Annual National Day of Prayer, and with still another 995 more days of Obama’s Immoral Administration before us, the entire nation certainly has something to pray about, especially all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice.
Maybe our good friend Revered Former Ohio Congressman Bob McEwen can say a little prayer for us when he speaks at the Capitol this morning.
- THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose the words of Mary Washington, mother of our nation’s first president: “Remember that God is our only sure trust.”
WHISTLEBLOWER WAR HERO OLLIE HACKWORTH says three year years ago on this date there was a spontaneous gathering on Fountain Square at noon to celebrate the Death of Osama bin Laden. Our good friend Bill Sloat’s son (USAF pilot) and thousands of others had joined and served to do what was right, and to right the great wrong. Bill said he’d be at the square at noon waving a U.S. flag and singing the Star Spangled Banner and was inviting others to join him.
Our young men and women had sent Osama bin Laden to answer to God. We should’ve rejoiced, then prayed for peace. At that point, 5,493 service people had been killed, thousands more had been wounded. We should’ve remembered the 9/11 victims and all that chaos and destruction. It was truly an historic day. Justice had been served. And for a brief moment during the Dark Ages of the Obama Administration, America was united, unlike today after the recent Boston Massacre, where Obama did everything wrong before and after the atrocity:
Especially since we just found out the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia sent a written warning about accused Boston Marathon bomber Tamerlan Tsarnaev to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security in 2012, long before pressure-cooker blasts killed three and injured hundreds.
The War on Terror Is Not Over. Islam Is Not a Peaceful Religion. Racial Profiling Works. And Political Correctness Kills.
[CHECK OUT THESE GRUESOME PICTURES COURTESY OF THOSE PEACEFUL MUSLIMS]
More of God’s Unanswered Prayers On National Prayer Day
Donald Sterling doesn’t have a prayer of getting that NAACP lifetime achievement award he was set to receive at the civil rights organization’s 100th anniversary celebration in Los Angeles in May after the 80-year-old L.A. Clippers owner’s stupid remarks consumed the nation’s conversation for an entire week.- Western Southern CEO John Barrett, Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP, and Hamilton County Commissioner Me, Greg Hartmann are praying members of the Republican National Committee took them seriously when the group showed up Tuesday to eliminate Cincinnati from that group of other six cities on the short list to host the 2016 Republican National Convention.
Non-Christians working at Cedarville University prayed their personal practice of religion would not affect their employment on National Prayer Day, especially after Fault-Finding Fishwrapper Sheila McLaughlin reported TEA Party Patriot J.D. Winteregg got fired as an adjunct professor by the Baptist Bigots because an offbeat political ad accusing his Primary Opponent John Boehner of having “electile dysfunction” went viral, and Boehner’s press secretary Kara Hauck, claimed any suggestion that Boehner was involved in getting Winteregg fired was “absurd.” [READ THAT STORY HERE]
White, God-Fearing Citizens of Anderson pray they don’t lose the deeds to their houses finding new ways to lose all their money gambling at Beterra’s new $300 million “Racino” that opened on National Prayer Day.- High Flyin’ Rick Bryan is praying you don’t hear about the growing scandal in the 28th House District surrounding his over-taxed payer-funded European Vacations, especially the new theme song Republicans for Higher Taxes have assigned a new theme song for the Bryan campaign. We believe you’ll like it, as will Clark W. Griswold.
In Columbus, the Ohio Republican Party is praying the Ohio Election Commission ignores that complaint by the Ohio Citizens PAC concerning mailers produced and sent out by the Ohio Republican Party that were patently false and intended to mislead voters.
State Rep-tile Peter “The Best Money Can Buy” $tautberg and the Ohio Republican Party are praying Primary Voters ignore all that money they’re spending to tell all those lies about “TaxKIller Tom” Brinkman, along with $tautberg’s vote to give out free needles to drug abusers and forget two times that his name is connected to an Oriental gay porn site at www.peterstautberg.com.- As the National Day of Prayer approached, Crystal Faulkner’s Facebook friend & bff Chris Squealback says she has been praying to all the gods she possibly can to make sure whichever one is in fact “real,” she’ll be covered. She likens this to how she handled politics by betting on both sides and paying hard cash for easy access. Just yesterday, in a blatant attempt to double-down, she paid Charlie Winburn to do a Robocall and then sprinkle whatever snake oil he’s peddling this week all over she and her floundering campaign.
- Backers of Issue One are praying voters don’t read the fine print on the ballot.
And when Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters’ didn’t have a prayer after he tried to sue us for libel, it wasn’t the only local libel case The Blower ever covered. Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo remembers 23 Years Ago This Week (when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over town) Edition #48, which came out on April 30, 1991 featured a story about how the U.S. Supreme Court upheld The Blower’s right to call the now defunct Kentucky Post a “libelous rag.” To See the entire Edition #48, CLICK HERE- NOW HERE’S SOMEBODY ELSE WHO NEEDS TO PRAY FOR FORGIVENESS ON NATIONAL PRAYER DAY: We’ve been following the disgusting self-centered antics of deadbeat Liz Rogers of Mahogany restaurant in Cincinnati. Here’s what two readers said who took the time to write in to The Fishwrap:
“Liz Rogers, you should be ashamed of yourself. I was infuriated that you had the audacity to say ‘I feel like I’m at war, like I’ve been deployed to Iraq.’ As a veteran during the Vietnam War and a supporter of all brave troops past, present and future who risked their lives for you to live in a free country, you have marginalized the sacrifices they make by making such an outrageous statement. The struggles that you have brought upon yourself, the money you have accepted and the lack of business skills you possess in no way compare to what our brave men and women face in Iraq. Maybe the city should send you to Iraq, cooking for our troops to work your debt off and you could see what real adversity is like. That should give you a better appreciation of all the privileges you have given, and squandered. Then you might realize why you should be ashamed of yourself.”
And here’s another: “Shame on Liz Rogers, comparing her problems to war – ‘like I’ve been deployed to Iraq’ (Mahogany’s owner: ‘I feel like I’m at war”, March 24). What a slap in the face to all the thousands of our heroes who have lost their very lives, and/or limbs, fighting for this country. Her problems are nothing compared to that. She needs to face up to the mess she has created.”
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1931, President Herbert Hoover officially dedicated New York City’s Empire State Building, pressing a button from the White House that turned on the building’s lights. The Whistleblower learned that Hoover’s gesture was only symbolic, because while the president remained in Washington, someone else flicked the switches in New York. The Whistleblower also learned that although the Empire State Building opened in 1931, King Kong didn’t actually scale the skyscraper until 1933.- NO WONDER OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose “An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building and after 50 floors says, ‘So far so good!'”
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says May 2 is always “Brothers and Sisters Day.” No kidding. It’s a day you’re supposed to cherish your siblings, even if you’ve disowned them. Our Good Friend Bobby Leach says people in Kentucky always inappropriately touch their relatives on Thanksgiving, since it’s a good day to pump kin.- FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane what atheists were supposed to do on National Prayer Day today. “Maybe they could call the Dial-a-Prayer for Non-Believers,” Kane explained, “You call up and it rings and rings but nobody answers.”
Plus, besides being National Prayer Day today, it’s also “Mayday in America,” when we always remind our readers: “Hooray, Hooray, It’s the First of May. Outdoor Boinking Begins Today!”
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Belterra Bankrollers, who say “You only have a ‘Gambling Problem’ if you’re losing!”
More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans
Today’s Whistleblower is brought to you by a generous donation during our May fund-raising drive from the The Prayer Company, for helping them promote their sale on prayers, spells, curses, conjuring, blessings, and magic potions.
DAY OF PRAYER HOT LINE
e-mail your political prayers today.
Some prayerful items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally prayerful subscribers.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Joe Nelms thanks God for his smokin’ hot wife!
(Sent in by Revered Former Six-term Ohio Congressman Bob McEwen, who hopes his National Prayer Day invocation at the U.S. Capitol is half as good as this video.)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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