Sunday, April 27, 2014
The Whistleblower Week in Review
OUR NUMBER ONE FOREIGN POLICY FAILURE STORY THIS WEEK was when Obama was seen bowing to the Japanese Emperor, then to a Japanese robot. And on his key goal for making the trip in the first place was to strike a new trade agreement with Japan, but he left the country empty-handed.
- OUR NUMBER TWO FOREIGN POLICY FAILURE STORY THIS WEEK was when Obama’s Secretary of State John Kerry gave an angry speech accusing Russia of violating the diplomatic agreement Kerry co-signed a week ago in Geneva, supposedly stabilizing the crisis in eastern Ukraine. Meanwhile, Obama’s Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel can’t even get Russian Defense Minister Sergei Shoigu on the phone.
- AND OUR NUMBER THREE OBAMA’S FOREIGN POLICY FAILURE STORY THIS WEEK was the Obama proved his critics right after Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu declared that he wouldn’t negotiate with a unified Palestinian government that includes both moderate Fatah and radical Gaza-based Hamas. Translation: Obama’s already-gasping Middle East peace process is likely dead for the remainder of Obama’s presidency.
- LAST SUNDAY in our Special “Savior Sunday” E-dition,” The Blower said, “Roses are red, violets are bluish. If it wasn’t for Jesus, you’d all be Jewish!”
Today it’s the Top Ten Signs you hired the wrong Easter Bunny 10. Costume made from rabbits run over on I-75 9. Scares the bejesus out of all the little kids 8. Before kids get candy they must have a dental exam 7. Parents must first sign waver on juvenile obesity 6. Two words: “Rabbit Raisins” 5. Speaks only in Spanish 4. Easter eggs filled with Spam 3. He’s wearing a yarmulke 2. Tells you for an extra $4,300 he won’t rat you out to The Whistleblower …And the number one sign you hired the wrong Easter Bunny is… Cincinnati’s Dainty DemocRAT Former Mayor Mark Mallory taught him how to hop.
- MONDAY in our Special Annual “Easter Monday” E-dition,” The Blower reported DemocRATS still blaming Bush for the Death of Jesus.
A Twitter From God
Yesterday was Easter Sunday, so we e-mailed God to ask why He doesn’t stop all that teenage violence, especially at schools. And God Twittered back: “Maybe because I’m no longer allowed in schools.”
[READ MORE HERE]
- TUESDAY in our Annual “Ecological Warning” Issue” E-dition, The Blower warned: Politicians are using all the mud!
Happy Earth Day, Everybody
Today will be another great day for our Left-Wing Lunatics and Obama Supporters in the Press— because that’s when they’ll all get to whine, complain, and continue to blame George Bush, Senator Ted Cruz, TEA Party Patriots, Donald Trump, the Whistleblower-Newswire, and the rest of those mean-spirited Republicans for everything on Earth, while at the same time, not coming up with solutions for any of the problems (real or imaginary) they profess to perceive.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose this profound pronouncement from John Davis, editor of the “Earth First! Journal: “Human beings, as a species, have no more value than slugs.”
On the other hand, our good friend Bobby Leach likes the Kentucky Coal Miners Association’s new slogan for Earth Day: “Earth first, we’ll strip mine the rest of the planets later.”
[READ MORE HERE]
- TUESDAY in our Special “Political Liars Day” E-dition, The Blower said you can always tell because their lips are moving and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
With our Feckless Fishwrappers continuing to ignore all those lies being told during the 2014 Primary Campaigns (May 6 in Ohio and May 20 in Kentucky), every politician in America has been watching the Countdown Clock on the Whistleblower-Newswire Web Page clicking off the Days, Hours, Minutes, and Seconds until 10 AM on Political Liars Day this morning. Because that’s when we’ll be hearing from the most qualified attorney in history to argue for the right of all politicians to tell lies during political campaigns. —The U.S. Supreme Court
That’s why I’ll be telling SOTUSit’s not just a politician’s right to lie, it’s his duty. —Christopher P. Finney, Esquire
Does that mean anti-tax organization COAST’s Avaricious Attorney fully supports our spending all that money to tell all those lies about his friend, “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman, COAST’s other co-founder? — Ohio RINO Party Boss Matt Borges
Doesn’t anybody remember when Chris Finney used the Ohio Elections Commission process to attack me just because I told a few lies during political campaigns? — Defeated, Corrupt, Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-And-Paid-For, Tax-And-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-In-A-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt (Not even featured Tuesday in The Fishwrap’s story about local runners returning to the Boston Marathon)
Most people didn’t know it was against Ohio law (and in at least 15 other states), making it a crime to disseminate a knowingly false statement about a candidate or ballot initiative. —Ohio Governor Kasich-Taylor
I get so confused whenever I argue against myself, like today. —Bewildered Ohio Attorney General Mike DeWhine
If you lie about a candidate in the Bluegrass we don’t prosecute you. We just kick your ass. —Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders
[READ MORE HERE]
- WEDNESDAY in our Special “Phony Job Titles” E-dition,The Blower asked, “What’s so bad about being a secretary anyway?”
Happy Secretary’s Day, Gals!
Oh, we’re not calling it “Secretary’s Day” anymore. We’re supposed to say “Administrative Professionals Day,” so you little ladies can feel better about your humdrum jobs. Now would you mind getting us a cup of coffee?
Hurley the Historian says this made-up holiday was created in 1952 by a Young and Rubicam advertising executive who found a way to give his secretary something that didn’t cost money.
No wonder our Quote for Today Committee chose Barry Goldwater’s “I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it’s somebody else’s secretary, that’s fine!” Was Barry a Compassionate Conservatism or what!
Male Chauvinist Employers of America explain why they changed the name of today’s “Secretary’s Day” holiday to “Administrative Professionals Day.” It was cheaper than giving the gals a raise.
The Unemployment Office says tomorrow on “Take Your Daughter to Work Day during the Obama Recession,” you can always bring her here.
[READ MORE HERE]
- THURSDAY, in our Annual “Take Your Daughter to Work Day” E-dition,The Blower asked, “But what if your mom’s a hooker?”
Just Another Silly, Meaningless Liberal Holiday
At yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why “Take Your Daughter to Work Day” is always the day after “Secretary’s Day.” “Who do you think gets to watch the kids when the boss brings them to work?” Kane explained.
In Cincinnati, “Take Your Daughter to Work Day” promises to be almost as productive for employers as the Reds Opening Day.
Our Good Friend Bobby Leach remembers when he brought his daughter back home after “Take Your Daughter to Work Day.” The little girl said, “Daddy, why do you call your assistant a doll?” Feeling his wife’s gaze upon him, Bobby said, “Well, honey, it’s a term of affection. She’s very hard-working, and Daddy appreciates her efficiency.” “Oh,” said Bobby’s little girl, “I thought it was because she closed her eyes and said ‘mama’ every time you laid her across your desk.”
[READ MORE HERE]
- FRIDAY, in our “Just Another Guest Column E-dition, The Blower explained, “But It’s Still the Same Old BS!”
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
Why, it’s none other than Charles Foster Kane’s long-suffering over-worked secretary. Our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher says he really didn’t need Secretary’s Day” to remind him about all that Rose Budd has done for him over the years. It hasn’t always been easy. Sometimes it was rough sledding. “And you can be assured that I’ll be speaking her praises until my dying breath,” Kane said.
That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in launching our “War for Women,” selected Miss Rose Budd to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items written by competent women plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors, and our Quote for Today Committee chose Barry Goldwater’s “I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it’s somebody else’s secretary, fine.”
Male Chauvinist Employers of America explain why they changed the name of today’s “Secretary’s Day” holiday to “Administrative Professionals Day.” It was cheaper than giving the gals a raise.
- SATURDAY in our Special “Presidential Travel” E-dition, The Blower asked, “Was this trip really necessary?”
More Foreign Policy Failures
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1984, Ronald Reagan visited Communist China. The Gipper certainly did a lot better than Obama’s doing on his trip to the Orient these days, where not only did Obama bow to the Japanese Emperor, but he also bowed to a Japanese robot.
How bad is President Obama’s foreign policy? It’s so bad he sent Vice President Biden to Kiev to handle the Russia-Ukraine mess. Joseph Curl at the Washington Times says: “That’s right, Barack ‘Red Line’ Obama called in the bumbling Mr. Biden, the foreign policy ‘expert’ who once called for Iraq to be partitioned by ethnicity into three countries and opposed President Ronald Reagan’s military build-up that ended the Cold War. Uncle Joe didn’t disappoint, saying in Kiev: ‘Thank you for making me feel relevant again.’ He, of course, left empty-handed, and perhaps, again, feels irrelevant.”
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Ronald Reagan’s, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.”
[READ MORE HERE]
More Screw the TV Political Ads Because We Already Voted Absentee Insight This Weekend
OUR FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS continued their daily drumbeat for dumbed-down diversity again this week, This week the Liberal Litany included Affirmative Action, Early Voting, Same Sex Marriages, Voting Rights for Black Vote Frauders, Lying Campaign Ads, and Illegal Immigrants, ending up on Saturday with support for changes to the City’s Bike Lane Plan, whatever the hell that is. Wasn’t that Stupid Streetcar supposed to cure all the transportation problems? - HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1773, The British Parliament passed the Tea Act, a bill designed to save the faltering East India Company by greatly lowering its tea tax and thus granting it a monopoly on the American tea trade. That tax really worked out well, but have our TEA Party Patriots forgotten?
- THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Joshua Wyeth’s “We were merry, in an undertone, at the idea of making so large a cup of tea for the fishes.”
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says after the U.S. Supreme Court heard arguments this week in a case aimed at overturning an Ohio law that makes it a crime to make false statements in a political campaign, 55% of Likely U.S. Voters believe the government should be allowed to review political ads and candidates’ campaign comments for their accuracy and punish those that it decides are making false statements about other candidates.
MORE POLITICS AS USUAL: After three Ohio State Rep-tiles announced they were trying to raise money from Conservatives at a fundraiser in Mason next week because they were not endorsed by the RINOs in Columbus, two of the three (John Becker and Ron Maag) have now returned the fold, which should make for a very awkward evening at the Palmera Apartments Clubhouse in Mason on Friday. 
IN COLUMBUS: As political campaigns file their campaign finance disclosures this week, Republicans said it was time for Devious DemocRAT Gubernatorial Candidate Ed FitzGerald to come clean on his use of his hand-picked, over-taxed payer-funded Inspector General (IG) for campaign work.- REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES: It was another active week over at Republicans for Higher Taxes, where they are doing everything possible to show why Tax Hikin’ Rick Bryan and Crystal Faulkner are the top choices for progressives.
STREETCAR PROGRESS UPDATE: Crews wasting millions on Cincinnati’s Trolley Folly erected a cross on Easter at the Maintenance & Operations Facility, with the help of a large crane that lifts steel into place. The reason they built a cross is because whenever someone every time you hear how much the Stupid Streetcar is costing over-taxed payers, somebody always says, “Holy Christ!”- GAY RIGHTS UPDATE: When Ben Dover and Phil McCrevis marched on the Archdiocese for requiring a “morality contract” of their teachers, do they really think it helped to let the Diocese know that their 30,000 “signatures” came from the Internet by way of MoveOn.org? Is it really that much to ask of a religious based organization such as the Catholic Schools, who teach about God’s morality, to expect their teachers to NOT be hypocrites? Seems like that would be a good thing.
- NOT READY FOR INSPECTION: The Republican National Convention selection committee members are coming to town on Tuesday to see how Cincinnati compares with the other five cities on the short list to host the 2016 Republican National Convention. We haven’t seen this much excitement since Obama came to town for the NAALCP Convention in 2008. Maybe that’s why the City of Cincinnati ordered removal of that corroded flagpole on top of the Carew Tower over the weekend.
DEMOCRAT DECEIT: In Ohio’s First Congressional District, Flim-Flamming Flyboy Fred Kundrata, who ran against “Bronze Star” Brad Wenstrup as a Republican in 2012, has now completely converted to become a Disingenuous DemocRAT.- FREE NEEDLE UPDATE: When AG Mike DeWhine comes to Sharonville this Wednesday, to discuss drug-related issues, will Little David Pepper be outside protesting with the Needle Exchange folks, demanding access to more communities and more funding?
ANDERSON ANTICS: Anderson TEA Party Patriots asked us to remind you that an emergency town hall meeting has been called in your neighborhood about State Rep-Tile Peter $tautberg’s plans to distribute free needles to drug addicts. Stautberg voted to give drug addicts and their pushers immunity from arrest from four separate felonies within 1,000 feet of the needle exchange site along with “get out of jail free” cards to avoid arrest when traveling. Providing addicts with the means to perpetuate their addictions is downright immoral.- EARLY NON-VOTING: With the number of early voters down 82 % compared with the same time four years ago, Truthful Troublemaker Tino Delgato says, “I followed The Blower’s advice and mailed my May 6 Absentee Ballot. I did not have to take a bus to stand in line. It did however cost me one forever stamp. Tell me again why all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, who stood in line down town at the Board of Elections (BOE) last year could not also do this? The BOE could even put on that stamp based on the savings of employee salaries and the cost to open the damn building. Go Figure!!!”
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bitch McConnell used to stand against ObamaCare. He told Conservatives that Obama’s health care takeover should be repealed “root and branch.” Now, McConnell doesn’t want to stop ObamaCare. He just wants to “fix it.” McConnell really doesn’t get it. Conservatives don’t want to “fix” ObamaCare. We want the federal government to get out of the health care business altogether.
TEA Party State Senate Candidate Deb Sheldon was endorsed by Northern Kentucky Right to Life and the NKU Young Republicans Chapter this week. Deb received a 100% score on the NKY Right to Life’s survey and was the only Republican candidate for State Senate who completed the survey.
Also, the latest and greatest e-dition of Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth’s Attorney E Rob Sanders erotic and thrilling e-newsletter is on cyber news stands now! This week’s This Week In Kenton Circuit Court actually came with a double dose of fearsome felons as the Robster’s readers got a second helping of mugshots. The Robster reported technical difficulties with his email service resulting in the delay. But he more than makes up for it because the Crimefighters in the Bluegrass must be working overtime to account for all these convictions! No doubt there’s plenty of job security in the booming prison industry!
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #56 says you should give them another reason why Obama has GOT to go. Say “It’s not because he’s boring, but because all he says are platitudes and lies.”
LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked David Letterman’s “President Obama is visiting Japan, and for dinner last night he had $300 sushi. That’s a lot of dough, but you know, it comes with unlimited bread sticks. And Mercury poisoning is covered by Obamacare.”- NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR ODIOUS OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time for the warm spring weather, we found this in his “Tulips and Trollops,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
“Salute to Style” The pants today are worn so low It makes you really wonder If she wants to tell you She’s wearing nothing under.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible who learned to hate taxes at an early age. [READ MORE HERE]
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “FAMILY FRIENDLY,” we learned how our three family-friendly county commissioners were commemorating Bring “Your Children to Work Day.” This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others.
This includes all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if The Blower was finished covering how those avaricious attorneys argued for a politician’s Right to Lie before the Supreme Court last week. “Next week we’ll be celebrating Honesty Day,” Kane explained. “Coincidence? We think not!”
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
Monday (April 28) we’ll be getting ready for our Annual Honesty Day celebration later in the week, but we’ll all be continuing to count down the 999 dishonest days for the rest of the nation remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.- Tuesday (April 29) will be the day those Republican National Convention selection committee members are coming to town, and “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will probably feature some things our local RINOs would not want the committee to know.
- Wednesday, (April 30) is this year’s Real Honesty Day, and The Blower will be as truthful as ever.
- Thursday (May 1) we’ll be celebrating the evils of gambling at the opening of that new Belterra Racino in Anderson Township.
- The first line of Friday’s (May 2) limerick is: “Here’s how to have fun on Cinco de Mayo.”
- And Saturday (May 3), will be Press Freedom Day and you can be sure The Blower will be taking advantage of that.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Feckless Fishwrapper Deirdre Shesgreen, who claims to be watching Washington for us. Yikes!
The Libtard Show With Dixon Diaz
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
How Liberals Argue
(Sent in by Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend/ Pervert Defending Attorney James “The Rock” Bogen [94 Mutual Friends], who says the proudest day of his life was when Ditzy DemocRAT Juvenile Court Judge Tracie Hunter fired him as her lawyer. )
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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