One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Which During the Age of Obama Was No BFD
- Senior National Political Analyst Britt Humus reports Obama Supporters in the Press celebrated a “National Moment” at 2:40 yesterday afternoon when Obama and senior advisers observed a closed-press moment of silence in the Oval Office to commemorate last year’s terrorist attack at the Boston Marathon. ABC News aired a special report from 2:35 to 2:55 p,m. George Stephanopoulos anchored from New York but was joined by a ABC News Consultant Ray Kelly live from Boston. Scott Pelley broadcast live from Boston for “the Moment of Silence” and anchored the CBS Evening News from Boston.” Meanwhile, Fox’s Bill Hemmer will report from Boston when the 118th Boston Marathon is run on Monday.
Breaking News: did Obama’s Doofus Vice President Joe Biden really tell Boston Marathon Bombing Survivors “It was worth it?”
But as usual, runners will take their places at the 26.2-mile mark, while friends, family, and the people of this iconic city line the streets to cheer them on. The memory of last year’s heinous and senseless act will not dissuade runners or spectators from celebrating this annual sporting event that welcomes participants from all over the world. Yet, we will all stand in remembrance of the beautiful people who lost their lives and those who were gravely injured in the tragedy. In pain we found love. We grieved together and chose friendship over hate. We honor the brave men and women who tirelessly worked in the days after the bombings. This short video is dedicated to the great city of Boston and its people, and especially to the victims Martin Richard, Krystle Campbell, and Lingzi Lu, as well as to MIT Police Officer Sean Collier who died in the line of duty. They messed with the wrong city. We choose to be Boston Strong and WE WILL RUN.
So what kind of news stories dominated The Fishwrap’s front page yesterday— about what you’d expect from a PC publication dedicated 188% to promoting Diversity Uber Alles in the Queen City— Black DemocRATS fighting over a Black DemocRAT State Senate Seat and a Whacko Liberal Diversified DemocRAT Federal Judge calling Ohio’s gay marriage ban both unconstitutional and unenforceable in the Liberal Agenda’s attempts to fuel advocates’ efforts to force the state to allow same-sex couples to marry and engage in other perverted practices, The Blower is too sensitive to mention.
But our Forgetful Fishwrappers failed to mention that new independent poll showing a decline in Ohio voters support for same-sex marriage in Ohio. Only 33% of respondents were certain they would vote to allow marriage between two people of the same sex. Correspondingly, 52% of people were certain to vote to keep marriage as only between one man and one woman. 55% did not think it is necessary to have another vote this year on homosexual marriage. On the question, “Do you personally agree or disagree that marriage should only be between a man and a woman” 56% agreed and 34% disagreed, with 9% don’t know/no response. And 89% of those polled were either absolutely (66%) or very likely (23%) to vote.
Conservatives believe Judge Timothy Black’s divisive decision will be overturned by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 6th Circuit. The Blower wonders how So-Called Conservative Senator Rob “Fighting for Fairness” Portman would vote.
- Another story our Failing Fishwrappers seem to be ignoring these days was when local experts Scott Greenwood, a member of the American Civil Liberties Union national board, and Tom Streicher, former Cincinnati Police Chief, are helping other cities across the country fix for a small and reasonable fee the same problems they helped our community solve between 2001-2008. It’s not just our local experts’ expertise were talking about, the problems the City of Albuquerque is having these days sounds a lot like what Cincinnati went through in 2001.
- And are TEA Party Patriots in Anderson finally capitalizing the word “TEA” on their banner? So far they’re the only local TEA Party organization to get it right. Ohio TEA Party Guy Tom Z would really be proud. Not only that, they even put Anderson Township on there, along with the State of Ohio Burgee. Now if they only remember to capitalize “TEA” Party in all their text references, it’ll be One Giant Step for Conservatives.
Also in Anderson, imagine if you were State Rep-tile Peter “The Best Money Can Buy” $tautberg and somebody told you about that Robocall that went to every Republican voter in your district on Tax Day: Today is Tax Day. Thanks to Peter $tautberg, we are all paying more in taxes. $tautberg raised your sales taxes. $tautberg raised your property taxes. $tautberg even voted to tax the internet, $tautberg has raised your taxes so high that the state budget has grown over 20% in four years. It’s time to fire Peter $tautberg. And hire Tom Brinkman. “Taxkiller Tom” Brinkman earned his nickname fighting taxes. “Taxkiller Tom” Brinkman has never voted for a tax increase. Brinkman would never be fooled to accept a small tax cut mixed with huge tax increases. $tautberg was fooled twice. May 6th is the Primary Election. It’s time to fire $tautberg and hire Tom Brinkman. Paid for by Brinkman Campaign Committee. [LISTEN TO IT HERE]
$tautberg on the other hand is complaining that The Blower has not yet mentioned $tautberg’s completely honest campaign commercials claiming Brinkman only votes with the DemocRATS and he’s not sure who he sleeps with.
The only voters who wouldn’t be impressed with the timeliness of such a message would be the really smart voters who’d already tracked their absentee ballots on the Hamilton County Board of Elections Web Page. Neither would any of those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, because they wouldn’t be using a Republican ballot.
HIS NOSE IS GROWING: And did you see where Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP was claiming not to be “officially endorsing” certain candidates during the 2014 primary season? We’ll give him four Pinocchios on that one.- IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says Republican U.S. Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell appeared to be completely discounting Primary Opponent Matt Bevan for the upcoming GOP Primary in only 34 more days. At least that’s what it sounded like when Bitch spoke to the Rotary Club in Florence on Monday.
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says just 16% think most in Congress pay all their taxes. Imagine that.
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says today is “Emancipation Day” in Washington DC, a legal holiday commemorating the day in 1862 when Lincoln freed the Confederate slaves.
- TWENTY-THREE YEARS AGO TODAY, when Edition #46 was published on April 16, 1991, That Week’s Really Big Story was all about a Whistleblower contributor who’d won a Pulitzer Prize, our Top Ten list gave us the top ten captions that won him the prize, and one of our features explained “Baseball Expressions Anchorwomen Just Don’t Understand.”
To See the entire Edition #46, CLICK HERE
- FINALLY AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, it was Passover Greetings all ‘round. That’s why we all watched Jesus celebrating his Last Supper Passover Seder from Mel Brooks’ “History of the World—Part 1.”
Whistleblower Religious Editor Fielding Mellish said Obama only referred to himself seventeen times during his short Passover message this year, Ohio RINO Party Boss Matt Borges forgot to e-mail his Passover Greetings to Jews in Ohio on Tuesday, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo said Rick “The Batboy” Robinson was no longer at Graydon Head making Jews feel welcome in Northern Kentucky this year. The Blower remembers last year when former Ohio RINO Party Boss Boob Bennett wished everybody Chag Sameach. (Happy Holiday).
But our Part-Time Rabbinical Scholar Charles Foster Kane (as once reported by Fritz Wenzel when the president of Wenzel Strategies was but a mere political columnist for the Toledo Blade) says the more accurate Hebrew expression would probably be “Chag Pesach Sameach” (Happy Passover Holiday). Try saying that three times fast, Goyum! And remember, a matzo with lots of butter and salt tastes just like lots of butter and salt.
Meanwhile, Fox News reported boys and girls at an Alabama elementary school will still get to hunt for eggs – but they can’t call them “Easter Eggs” because the politically-correct principal had banished “Easter” for the sake of religious diversity.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Drew Carey’s “Jesus never put up a tree and exchanged gifts, or left cookies out for Santa. He never made a harried last-minute trip to the mall, or spent Christmas Eve cursing at a toy that he couldn’t put together. He celebrated Passover. So, if you want to be more like Jesus, pass the matzo.”
Bunky Tadwell Explains Mother Nature
Now that Spring has supposedly arrived (Tuesday morning we woke up with snow on the ground) , I was searching for a warm day and who did I see but Mother Nature. What a surprise to see the source of all that is peaceful and gentle.
BT: Mother Nature…what a thrill. How often I’ve enjoyed your handiwork…a rainbow, the flowers, the kinship with the land and the animals and…
MN: Hold it, Kid! This is nature you’re talking to. It’s time you woke up and smelled the disasters.
BT: What do you mean?
MN: Ever watch PBS?
BT: Often.
MN: Have you ever seen a cheetah run down a gazelle and rip it to pieces? Then the hyenas fight over the carcass and chase the buzzards. That’s nature.
BT: Yes but…
MN: The hurricanes, the tornados, floods, earthquakes, disease, people being torn apart…that’s nature…that’s me.
BT: Well, I never thought of it that way. You’re always pictured as so sweet and gentle.
MN: That’s crap, Kid. Every bad thing that happens, that’s nature. All the wars, the killers, the cheats…you name it. Human Nature, now that’s really bad. Nations rise and fall…that’s nature. I tried to save your country with a good bunch of good bunch of guys years ago, but greed, laziness, and stupidity led to that gaggle of bozos you now have in Washington. You’ll soon go down the tubes.
BT: You make it sound awful. You must be a really mean bitch!
MN: You think I’m bad. Wait till you meet Father Nature.
BT: My God…what does he do?
MN: The worst of all…blind dates and candidate selection.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Street Car Flip Flopper on Cincinnati City Clown P.G. Sitt-‘n-Spin.
PASSOVER HOT LINE
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Some vile-and-disgusting items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally vile-and-disgusting subscribers
OVER-TAXED PAYERS LINKS OF THE DAY
You May Already Be A Loser
(Sent in by Faux Facebook Friend and Tax Day CPA Bill Luchsinger [441 Friends, 68 Mutual Friends], who told us the story about the constipated accountant who had to work it out with a pencil.)
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