Thursday, April 10, 2014
More Worthless Voter Information
Here’s good news for all those 2014 Ohio Primary voters who have not yet mailed in their absentee ballots, and all those idiots who still plan to drive (or take a bus downtown) to stand in long lines at the Hamilton County Board of Elections: The Fishwrap is running a series of primers (whatever the hell those are) to help you understand the candidates’ qualifications for the offices they seek on May 6.
Professional reporters unstintingly investigate each candidate. Trust them. These people really know what they’re doing, as they’ve proved so many times in the past. Take Carrie Blackmore Smith’s insightful analysis about those two Dimwit DemocRATS (Fred Kundrata and Jim Prues) who foolishly believe they have a real shot at Congress by unseating Republican Congressman Steve Chabothead in Ohio’s First Congressional District, for example.
So how did Carrie Blackmore Smith, Government/ Public Affairs Editor Carl Weiser, and the hordes of Fact Checkers at The Fishwrap miss the little detail that one of the Dumbed Down DemocRATS (Fred Kundrata) got 3% of the vote when he ran unsuccessfully for Congress AS A REPUBLICAN against “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup in Ohio’s Second District in 2012? That tasty little factoid has only been mentioned in The Blower 38 times during the past two months.
No wonder Tim Burka isn’t endorsing either one of those bozos. But then again, our Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss has been a Person of Consequence, subscribing to The Blower since Lincoln was a precinct captain.
- NOT REALLY A RALLY: Ohio’s May 6 primary is really vital for Conservatives, with so many important races on the ballot; State Senators, State Reps and the very important Central and State Central Committee races. So how many of them will actually be asked to speak at next Tuesday’s Tax Day TEA Party Fund-raiser in Eastgate?
GEEZER RADIO: “Uncle Jay” Gilbert hasn’t “explained the news” ever since his March 3 Video that appeared in The Blower. Maybe Uncle Jay’s been getting ready to return to the airwaves in Cincinnati. Somebody said they heard him during afternoon drive time on 92.5 FM the FOX Wednesday afternoon.- SPEAKING OF DODDERING OLD FOOLS ON THE RADIO, yesterday’s guest Host “Granny” on the WKRC Morning Show offered the Top Ten reasons to help Ohio State Senator Shannon “Faulkner” Jones become the Vice Presidential candidate for Hillary in 2016:
1) In a side by side comparison, only State Senator Shannon “I used to be for abortion before I became against it” Jones can make Hillary Clinton look “pro-life”!
2) Why do some men (probably not Chris Squealbach) turn to the “dark side” to find pleasure? I give you exhibit #1 your honor: a naked photo of State Senator Shannon Jones.
3) State Senator Shannon Jones is set to be the next recipient of the distinguished award for being one of the least effective legislators while also just sitting around (and we do mean “around”) the Senate chambers.
4) Even ardent 1st District Congressman co-workers and other hangers on were happy when Shannon Jones decided to get off their bus and run on her own merits for public office. All she had to do was move to Warren County. It seems the bus got greatly enhanced gas mileage immediately.
5) Watch for a Draft Jones for VP movement to be initiated by the Hillary 2016 campaign because they realize just how integral State Senator Jones has been in the Buckeye state to the cause of equality for all women: especially the really, really unattractive ones.
6) Soon to announce their corporate endorsement for the plus-size bookend team of Hillary and that that obese State Senator from Ohio will be Lane Bryant!
7) Former President of Vice Bill “That Is One Woman I Can Honestly Say I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With” Clinton says that even on his worst horn-dog weekend State Senator Shannon Jones would still be an untouchable. But Hillary may find her company welcome, if you know what we mean.
8) On the other side of the aisle, Ohio DemocRATS can only shake their heads in shame as they cannot find “An Equal Sized Person Of Color” to replace the Hillary 2016 choice for its potential running mate. “What we need is another Aunt Jemima!”
9) Look for Steve Race and his close co-conspirator Stevecia ” Hey, I’s Gettin’ Fat Enough To Be A Running Mate” Race to be hired by the Hillary /Jones 2016 team to be put in charge of phony voter registrations and proof reading of all absentee ballot requests especially those that list your home address as a business that seems reputable but is really a front for your own political desires.
10) Finally, only one woman holds the power to stop this juggernaut from succeeding in its quest to keep Ohio blue during the 2106 run of team Hillary / Jones: former Cincinnati Pubic Schools board of education member Anne ” I Got The Power” Kohnen who inimically once stated that “of course we need to keep abortion safe, legal and rare: especially for all of those potential black welfare queens.” What will be her 30 pieces of silver to just shut up and go away for two years………..Hmmm. Safe legal and rare. Sounds like a motto of both Hillary (when referring to abortion) and Bill (when referring to dining at the “Y”)…………..just about differing subjects, of course.
DEADLINES FOR DEADBEAT DEMOCRATS: Friday is the due date for Liz Rogers to pay the second installment of her much-overdue back rent for Mahogany’s restaurant.
Will our deadbeat desperado Liz finally pay her obligation? Will she once again write a bad check to her landlord? Will the City of Cincinnati be free and easy with over-taxedpayers’ money and cover Liz’s debt as clown-cil member Wendell Young insists? Will the wimpy landlord who has let her slide for months wimp out on finally evicting her? We’ll let you know.
- TWENTY-THREE YEARS AGO THIS WEEK, when Edition #45 was published on April 9, 1991, Cincinnati City Councilman Nick Vehr called for “No Beating Zones” throughout the city, The School Board rejected the Teachers Union’s demands, Marty and Joe appeared in a public service announcement to combat impotence, and Trixie’s Bed ‘n Breakfast announced a new concept in Northern Kentucky Hospitality.
To See the entire Edition #45, CLICK HERE
- IN ANDERSON: Aroldis Chapman’s neighbors are really excited have a celebrity in their midst. Every time his Lamborghini roars in and out of the Anderson Oaks, some of the other residents’ windows rattle, especially after curfew. Just watch how The Cuban Missile takes off on Fort Washington Way.
Meanwhile in Anderson Precinct G, TEA Party Guy Dan Clark hung political advertising for Conservative candidates on his neighbor’s doors, including “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman, running for State Rep-Tile; Marsha Haberer, running for State Central Committee in the 7th District, and a yellow flyer for himself, which was OK, since it was “paid for by personal funds of Dan Clark.”
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1933, FDR established the Civilian Conservation Corps (a federally funded organization that put thousands of Americans to work during the Great Depression on projects with environmental benefits), or as Obama would call it, “The good old days.”- NO WONDER OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Oscar Wilde’s “Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.”
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were all getting ready to head to the Post Office first thing Friday morning to buy Charlton Heston stamps on their first day of sale. (Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane already got his stamp when first-class postage was only 33-cents).
Meanwhile, Blue Chip Young Republicans remember the good old days when honest lobbyist Charlie Hassle was their president back before the turn of the century and Conservative Icons came to town to speak to their group and get together with some really goofy looking local Conservatives.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane remembers asking his good friend Heston about his three favorite quotes from all those marvelous movies he made. Surprisingly, the were the same quotes Kane had picked as his favorites: (1) “Let my people go,” from the “Ten Commandments, (2) “Get you paws off me, you damn dirty apes” from “Planet of Apes,” and (3) “Soylent Green is people!” Let us know if you got all three of them.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Pete Wenzel at General Data Co. who’s still in business, even after he put up that “You Didn’t Build That” sign on I-275 in Clermont County.
Another Proud Sponsor and Avid Fan
Today’s edition is brought to you by another generous “in-kind” donation during our April fund-raising drive by Empower U, promising to offer a course in spell-checking sometime in the next semester.
TAX FREEDOM COUNTDOWN HOT LINE
e-mail your extension requests tonight.
Some anti-tax items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally anti-tax subscribers.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
How to Avoid Paying Taxes
(Sent in by Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend WGRR’s Chris O’Brien [23 Mutual Friends], who says he’s been on the air all the time Jay Gilbert’s been off.)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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