Sunday, April 6, 2013
The Whistleblower Week in Review
OUR NUMBER ONE BIG APRIL FOOLS STORY STORY THIS WEEK was when Obama and his Doofus Vice President Joe Biden held a bogus ceremony in the Rose Garden to claim total victory in their ObamaCare Enrollment Campaign because 7.1 Million Americans had paid for their Health Care through the DemocRATS’ Unaffordable Care Act.
- OUR NUMBER TWO BIG APRIL FOOLS STORY THIS WEEK was when Syndicated columnist Charles Krauthammer said Tuesday on “Special Report with Bret Baier” that while the administration is celebrating hitting 7.1 million enrollees in the Affordable Care Act, that figure just isn’t accurate. “This is a phony number, and it’s wonderfully precise. These guys go six months without any idea what the numbers are, and all of a sudden, it’s to a decimal point,” Krauthammer said. “But of course it’s meaningless because…we don’t know how many of them have paid…and how many were previously uninsured.”
- AND OUR NUMBER THREE BIG APRIL FOOLS STORY THIS WEEK was when the Wall Street Journal’s Peggy Noonan wrote Obamacare has been nothing but a “huge, historic mess” that is unique in the annals of lawmaking and administration. “The leaders of our government have not felt, throughout the process, that they had any responsibility to be honest and forthcoming about the major aspects of the program, from its exact nature to its exact cost… The bill that was signed in 2010 is far different than the law that now exists, after parts have been delayed or changed 30 times. It is telling that the president rebuffed Congress when it asked to work with him on alterations, but had no qualms about doing them by executive fiat.” Meanwhile, she contended that there are few DemocRATS who would pass ObamaCare again. “Some would do something different, but they wouldn’t do this,” Noonan said. “The cost of the blunder has been too high in terms of policy and politics.”
- MONDAY in our Annual “Mea Culpa” E-dition, The Blower said, “Unlike politicians, when we apologize, we really, really mean it!”
Our attorneys and legal defense fund administrators told us we may have written some things lately which might have offended some people. In certain cases, they say, it was by a careless word or phrase. In other cases, our remarks could be construed as either knowingly false, libelous, or with malicious intent. Although there is no prevailing legal authority, the Whistleblower Legal Dream Team still advises that should we now recant, fully and completely, damages in any legal actions against us might be at least somewhat mitigated.
- SO HERE IT IS: OUR APOLOGY
We really mean it. We’re really humble. No lie. We apologize profusely. No kidding. We really went too far. This is sincere. No fooling around now. When we’re wrong, we’re wrong. We’re not joking. There’s no punishment in Hell cruel and unusual enough for what we’ve done
- WE MEAN IT FROM THE BOTTOM OF OUR HEARTS. We owe everyone we’ve ever criticized an apology.
[READ MORE HERE]
- TUESDAY in our Special “Fair Weather Fans” E-dition, The Blower said, “After all that pre-season hype, how much does anybody really expect from the Reds?” and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
We used to be able to get some really important people like presidents, vice presidents, and governors to throw out the first pitch at our Opening Day games, but lately we’ve had to scrape the bottom of the barrel. We’ve finally gone to some of our old Reds “captains” like Davy Concepción and Barry Larkin after using local losers like Mallory and Odd Todd to an over-the-hill recording artist like Nick Lachey, retired Reds broadcasters, police chiefs, and sheriffs, to Joe Torre, losing manager of Team USA in the 2013 World Baseball Classic. —Señor Bob Castellini
Wouldn’t it be funny if politicians were not permitted to have entries in our Opening Day Parade and some of them walked anyway without being registered or paying the fees? —Findlay Market Parade Committee
Wouldn’t it be funny if we showed our viewers a commercial-free Opening Day Parade? —WLWT and WCPO-TV
[READ MORE HERE]
- WEDNESDAY in our Special “More April Foolery” E-dition, The Blower said “The White House Claims ObamaCare Is Really a Big Success!”
Deadline Schmedline
The so-called March 31 ObamaCare Open Enrollment Deadline may have passed, but it re-emerged as planned Tuesday morning with options for people who claim they had trouble meeting Monday’s midnight deadline. Bryan Preston at PJ Media reports that a RAND study pours buckets of cold water on the Obama administration’s claims that it has nearly reached seven million sign-ups for ObamaCare. The whole point of ObamaCare, supposedly, was to insure the uninsured and bend the cost curve down. Those who had insurance were supposed to be able to keep it. Families were supposed to start saving about $2,500 a year. That’s if you were ever stupid enough to believe the Obama administration in the first place.
[READ MORE HERE]
- THURSDAY, in our Special “Same Time Last Year” E-dition, The Blower said, “Those Were the Good Old Days!”
What a Difference a Year Makes
Think of how much things have changed since the first Thursday in April, 2013. It was our Special “Tax Freedom Update” E-dition, when we found out Tax Freedom Day in America was still two weeks away. We’re still waiting for our Good Friends at the Tax Foundation to tell us when the big day will officially arrive later this month, but in the meantime we can all watch our Tax Freedom Video just to get in the mood.
[READ MORE HERE]
- FRIDAY, in our “Just Another Guest Column E-dition, The Blower explained, “But It’s Still the Same Old BS!”
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
Why, it’s none other than Charles Foster Kane’s Rich Uncle Milburn Pennybags, who avoids paying taxes on his vast real estate holdings, along with an almost monopolistic control of several railroads and utilities.
Uncyclopedia describes Milburn “Rich Uncle” Pennybags (also known as Mr. Monopoly or the Chinchilla Don) as a high-powered real estate financier and leader of the Monopliano crime family. First emerging onto the scene in 1936, Pennybags quickly gained mass notoriety for his flashy style and expensive tastes, as well as his allegedly ruthless treatment of those who dared defy him. [READ MORE HERE]
That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in supporting rich people who avoid paying taxes, is proud to select Kane’s Rich Uncle Milburn to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors, and our Quote for Today Committee chose Leona Helmsley’s “We don’t pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes.”
[READ MORE HERE]
- SATURDAY in our Special “Absentee Option” E-dition, The Blower said, “Since we’ve already voted, we won’t have to watch any of those damn commercials!”
We Call It Our 49-Cent Solution
Today on the Whistleblower Countdown Clock, we’re looking at 31 more days until the 2014 Primary Elections in Ohio (45 more days in Kentucky) and all the real hype and hullabaloo is only about to start. But what if you could avoid all that, for the mere cost of a 49-cent stamp? Why not just mail-in your Absentee Voter Envelope to the Board of Elections?
The ballot is really easy to fill out; it only took us a couple of minutes. Even some of those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, might be able to figure how to use a pen to color in the small rectangle next to the person’s name you want to vote for.
And just think, those dumbed-down Dems wouldn’t have to stand in line for three hours in the rain to vote early, because walking to their neighborhood polling place on Election Day to vote for free is too much trouble.
Meanwhile on the South Shore, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo explains there is no “early voting” in the Bluegrass. We only have absentee voting. To get an absentee ballot, voters have to write or go to the County Clerk’s Office and apply for one. Applicants must state a valid reason, under oath, why they can’t vote on Election Day like everyone else. It’s not like Ohio where you can go “vote early and often” just because Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka, Free-Stuff Dispensing Liberals, Rhyming Reverends, and Union Goons told you to.
[READ MORE HERE]
More Screw the TV Political Ads Because We Already Voted Absentee Insight This Weekend
FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS: Last Sunday, our local TEA Party Patriots really got set up for some on-going progressive pummeling when our Feckless Fishwrappers published a supposedly fair and balanced report in their “Forum” section that said Voters harbor the ultimate say on tea party’s merit.” They even suckered some local TEA Partiers to contribute columns to support their views, where the first thing our Feckless Fishwrappers did was to denigrate the Conservative organization by lower-casing ever possible reference to the TEA Party.
Ted Stevenot wrote “Tea Party Working the Levers of Power, but our Clermont TEA Party Guy seemed a little surprised when the Fishwrappers used their set up piece to call TEA Party positions “rigid, even misinformed, ideology,” “rigid ideology that would only hurt local communities,” as well as admonishing our TEA Partiers to “fact check (their) ideas.”
Cincinnati TEA Party Lady Ann Becker was seduced into submitting a column about the TEA Party’s Mission that was titled “Tea Party mission to protect freedom” in Monday’s print edition. The headline was changed to “Tea party head: ‘Our republic is truly broken’” online. The Blower wonders what the title of the column was when she submitted it. Ms. Becker says the words “Tea Party” were not lower cased to “tea party” when she sent it in.
All of this has so-far invited free shots at the TEA Party by writers of letters-to-the-editor from Liberal lunatics like Elbert Lewis Jr. from Finneytown and Republican Party Hacks like Ted Smith from Park Hills, as well as encouraging more TEA Party condemnation from bloggers in their basements on line. Party Hack Ted Smith called our TEA Party Patriots “Naïve and clueless.” In their belief that the Liberal news media would ever be fair-and-balanced, The Blower would regrettably agree.
The Blower wonders what Tom Z would say, if only our Ohio TEA Party guy knew that none of our local TEA Party Organizations even remembers to capitalize “TEA” in all of their communications, which they should all know means “Taxed Enough Already.”
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1896, the first modern Olympic Games were played in Athens, Greece and folks hereabouts are still laughing at how many morons were snookered by Nick Vehr’s wet dream of having the Worst Run City in America host the Olympics in 2012, only to get beat out by Little Old London, England.- THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose to explain that “If you build it, they will come” is misquoted from the “Field of Dreams” movie drama film, because what Ray Liotta’s character Shoeless Joe Jackson actually said was “If you build it, he will come.”
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says “13% now predict the Los Angeles Dodgers to win 2014 World Series.” And Pete Rose says, “You can certainly bet it won’t be the Cincinnati Reds.”
- FREE NEEDLES UPDATE: Park it! Springdale officials finally woke up and smelled the coffee, and booted the Free Needle van! The needle pushing poverty pimps are now threatening new communities in the City of Cincinnati. Isn’t it interesting that only City Clowncil has not weighed in on free needles? [READ MORE HERE]
SODOMY RITES UPDATE: Thurprise! (spoken with a lisp.) It doesn’t seem anyone was shocked when the Gay Activist in the Federal Black Robes (Tim Black) took the unprecedented step of announcing he would strike down Ohio’s Definition of Marriage by recognizing out of state marriages. In fact, the real reason he announced his decision, which needed no review of previous court rulings, like the t one from SCOTUS last year denying such recognition, is that he might, just maybe, have already made up his mind. Just pothibly!- Whistleblower Alternate Life Styles Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis say, “Besthides, how would all the out-of-state activists have time to schedule to come to Ohio for a massive in-the-street orgy, um rather, party, if our Gay-Activist Judge didn’t forecast his decision?
Do you think Ohio Republican Attorney General Mike DeWhine will appeal?
REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES says by supporting David A. Pepper – twice, Crystal Faulkner reiterated her support for higher taxes; abortion on demand; gun control; “marriage equality” for gays, groups, incestors, and polygamists; obedience to the labor unions; and lax voter laws that allow Melowese Richardson to vote as many times as she wants. If these are your values too, RFHT says “Then please join us in voting for Crystal Faulkner for Republican State Central Committee. This can be the future of the GOP.
AWOL IN ANDERSON: The Anderson Township Republican Club including Newtown and Mt. Washington did not hold its customary meeting on the First Wednesday of the month in April, since there officials probably thought there won’t be any important political activities going on in the area before the May 6 GOP Primary Elections, like getting rid of $tate Rep-Tile Peter $tautberg (the best State Rep-Tile Money Can Buy). The Blower is sure everything important will be fully covered at the Club’s next scheduled meeting on May 7, the day after the Primary Elections.
CHAMELEON IN CLERMONT: Whistleblower snitch and contributor Armstrong Rhemus wants to know why his State Rep-tile John Becker sold out to the GOP establishment in order to get their meaningless endorsement. Columbus insiders say that Becker met with the Speaker of the House, kissed his ass and wrote a big check to get back into the good graces of the GOP. For years Clermont TEA Partiers were suspect of State Rep-tile Becker, due to his years of complacent service on the State Central Committee and steadfast backing of Congresswoman “Mean Jean” Schmidt. Many times they heard him utter these words: “Jean Schmidt has my full support.” The chameleon then ran against the TEA Party candidate in the 2012 primary and only beat him after he held a lobbyist backed fundraiser for illicit campaign cash. Now they know the truth. Rather than stay a friend of the TEA party, Becker would rather abandon that friendship and cozy up to the establishment. We want to know when the Clermont TEA party will hold their own representatives accountable instead of running over to Kentucky and helping those hillbillies Ditch Mitch. More “Naïve and Clueless,” we’d call it.
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Listening to the eternal whining about “Early Voting” by Vote-Fraud DemocRATS in Ohio, yesterday, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo explained that there is no “early voting” in the Bluegrass. They only have “absentee voting.” To get an absentee ballot, voters have to write or go to the County Clerk’s Office and apply for one. Applicants must state a valid reason, under oath, why they can’t vote on Election Day like everyone else. It’s not like Ohio where you can go “vote early and often,” just because Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka, Free-Stuff Dispensing Liberals, Rhyming Reverends, and Union Goons told you to.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #95 says you should invite all your Liberal friends to a Tax Freedom Day party. Remind them that this is the first day of the year in which the money they work for goes into their own pockets rather than into Big Government’s gaping, insatiable maw. Now if the guys at the Tax Foundation would only tell us when Tax Freedom Day arrives in 2014, all of us Anti-Taxers would know when to start the celebration.
LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Fallon’s “The White House finally met their enrollment goal for Obamacare. President Obama held a press conference and said this means that ObamaCare is “here to stay.” He added, “Because if you think getting INTO the program was hard, just try getting OUT.”
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR ODIOUS OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time to wade in on the latest Cincinnati City Clown-cil debacles, we found this in his “Clown of Clowns,” sold in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
“Four More Years” City Clown-cil got a longer term They increased the years to four. More time to sit and dither And make their asses sore.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible who learned to hate taxes at an early age. [READ MORE HERE]
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “OPENING DAY JITTERS,” we learned why Commissioner Filch, Pilfer, and Swindle like “Early Voting” for the May 6 Primary in Ohio. This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others.
This includes all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane what to expect from the Reds this year after all that hype that fueled our hope for renewal soon vanished after Monday’s disastrous season opener and a really crappy 1-4 record after a walk-off grand-slam-home-run loss to the New York Mets Saturday afternoon. Hall of Fame pitcher Bob Feller used to say “Every day is a new opportunity. You can build on yesterday’s success or put its failures behind and start over again. That’s the way life is, with a new game every day, and that’s the way baseball is.” But Kane was no nearly so optimistic. “Well, so much for 2014,” he said. “Maybe 2015 will be better.”
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
Monday (April 7) we’ll be getting ready for “Tax Day,” although it’ll still be a week away, as well as continuing to count down the 1,020 unproductive days for the rest of the nation remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.- Tuesday (April 8) will be our “Death or Taxes” E-dition and The Blower will be trying to help people make a choice, and “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will probably be some of the most anti-tax rhetoric you’ll ever see.
- Wednesday, (April 9) we’ll be checking in to see how long it’ll be before “Tax Freedom Day” arrives, when the nation as a whole has earned enough money to pay off its total tax bill for the year.
- Thursday (April 10) we’ll be taking bets on Liz Rogers’ chances of making her $40,326 back rent payment by noon on April 11.
- The first line of Friday’s (April 11) limerick is: “The best part about paying your taxes.”
- And Saturday (April 12), we’ll be telling you the Tragic Number for the Reds to be eliminated this year.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Gay Activist Judge Timothy Black.
The Libtard Show With Dixon Diaz
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Liberals Explain Gay Marriage
(Sent in by Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend Charles Tassell [586 Friends, 94 Mutual Friends], who says he’s not a homophobe, but he is willing to learn.)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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