One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
What a Difference a Year Makes
Think of how much things have changed since the first Thursday in April, 2013. It was our Special “Tax Freedom Update” E-dition, when we found out Tax Freedom Day in America was still two weeks away.
We’re still waiting for our Good Friends at the Tax Foundation to tell us when the big day will officially arrive later this month, but in the meantime we can all watch our Tax Freedom Video just to get in the mood.
- OUR NUMBER ONE STORY LAST YEAR was THE CINCINNATI MESS (You’ll only read about in The Blower):
Cincinnati’s Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory did a lame imitation of Obama Tuesday morning when he called a press conference, surrounded himself with Rubber Stamp DemocRATS on City Clown-cil, and threatened if people didn’t approve of his Parking Giveaway Plan, to cut tours of Cincinnati City Hall for schoolchildren just like Obama did at the White House.
Parking Giveaway Opponents Attorney Curt Hartman said the gist of Mallory’s statement was: “We’re city council and we know what’s in the parking plan or at least will know after we pass it; you’re stupid people who don’t know what’s in there. So shut up and just do what we tell you. Why don’t the people trust us?”
Following up on Tuesday’s News-scoop in The Blower, Laure’ “Not So” Cleanlivin’ admitted to having received 30 parking tickets in the past two years (of course, the car was in her husband’s name) – and she only paid them all after the State refused to renew her husband’s license plates due to unpaid tickets. (She did indicate that she thought she had paid them all.)
“TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman bet our Slut-for-Obama got all 30 parking tickets going to yoga class in Mt. Lookout with all those other MILF wannabes so she could have the strongest kegel muscles in history.
Republicans for Higher Taxes were upset with Judge Robert Winkler for ruling that citizens have a right to petition the Cincinnati parking plan. They believed Winkler should have ignored the law that gives them this right, and instead ruled according to the wishes of the Dinsmore law firm (Alex Triantafilou’s employer, run by George Vincent) who represented the City of Cincinnati.
Petitions needed to be turned in on Wednesday so they could be filed at the Board of Elections on Thursday, and Loony Libertarian Mayoral Candidate Jim Berns said he’s hoping to win the prize for turning in the most invalid signatures.
IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders said Tom Zawistowski, President of the We the People Convention and Executive Director of the Portage County TEA Party, announced his bid to be Chairman of the Ohio Republican Party, which is being vacated by retiring Chairman Boob Bennett. Could this be a sign our Tea Party Patriots don’t approve of Boob’s choice of Matt Borges to be his replacement?- HORSESHOE CASINO OFF-DUTY POLICE CONTROVERSY: Wouldn’t it be funny if Cincinnati Police Captain Kim Frey (aka Kim JANKE, as in the wife of the casino’s security director and retired ASSistant police chief Richard Janke) has devised a new scheme to get her way and Ricky’s way too? Some officers who do not wish to work the detail because of the existing controversy have been told by Captain Kim that it’s time to “take one for the team” and work the detail as she and Ricky desire, or the future may not be so comfortable for those who choose to do otherwise.
Speaking of Da Polices, our Belligerent Black Blogger Nate “Rhymes with Hate” Livingston was developing his new FireJamesCraig.com website. The Natester said it’s almost done.
- QUEERS ON CAMPUS: To recognize Rob “Fighting for Fancy Boys” Portman’s son Will’s “Coming Out,” the University of Cincinnati had been celebrating an entire week of over-taxed payer supported Queercat Pride Week from Friday, March 29 through Friday, April 5. That night’s big event was Queeraoke (whatever the hell that is) from 7 to 10 p.m. at Baba Budan’s, 239 West McMillan Street.
(Whistleblower Alternative Life-Style Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis say a full calendar of events means that this year, UC’s current annual Queercat Pride Week will extend over two weeks.)
- INDULGE YOUR MEAT TOOTH: Was that story about Procter & Gamble launching a bacon-flavored version of Scope mouthwash a hoax? Besides this print ad in USA Today, they also showed us this video.
- POLITICAL PRIORITIES: At the Hamilton County RINO Party, Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP’s April 2013 Chairmen’s Report featured his growing Facebook obsession, but nary a word on all those fine candidates he was supposed to be recruiting.
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1882 Jesse James was shot in the back by Bob Ford, a member of his gang who hoped to collect the bounty on Jesse’s head. That’s one funeral that Defeated, Corrupt, Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-And-Paid-For, Tax-And-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-In-A-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt didn’t attend, since she was only a state-rep-tile back then.
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: The latest and greatest e-dition of Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth’s Attorney E Rob Sanders deliciously delightful e-newsletter was on cyber news stands. That week’s This Week In Kenton Circuit Court featured all kinds of bags… as in scum, dirt, and douche, but no bigger losers than Garza brothers Troy and Michael who were both convicted of criminal mischief. With a couple sons like these low-lifes, we were sure the parents must’ve been proud. Maybe we can get Billy Bob the Bluegrass Bailiff to send us mom and dad’s mugshots too?! We can only assume the criminal gene runs in this family.- BOYCOTTING PUBLIC EDUCATION: Kentucky U.S. Senator Ron Paul said his dad, Retired US Congressman and Former Presidential Candidate Ron Paul would be in Cincinnati this weekend at the Home School Convention. Tickets were $10 each or $20 each for the “gold circle.” Organizers said Dr. Paul’s question and answer session would not be recorded. Thank goodness for that.
- FARLEY FAIRWEATHER said now that the 2013 Cincinnati Reds Opening Day had finally arrived, Dusty’s Boys had picked up right where they left off in 2012, and all that hype that fueled our hope for renewal would soon vanish for another year. Last year’s slogan should’ve been “You can’t lose ‘em all.” And after watching all 13 excruciating innings of last year’s Opening Day Debacle, you should’ve known it was going to be a long season, especially if the Reds kept running Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters’ crappy TV commercials. Farley also remembers Pete Rose’s Opening Day 50 years ago. As a matter of fact, so did Pete’s bookie.
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time to enjoy the 2013 baseball season, we found this in his “American Pastimes,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
“A Field of Dreams”
Opening Days has finally arrived
It was fun for one and all.
Especially for all the boys
If the girlies would just play ball.
FINALLY, 23 YEARS AGO THIS WEEK (when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over town) Edition #44, which came out on April 1, 1991, was our First Annual Sincere Apology Issue.
Our Top Ten List was the things for which we felt we had to apologize.
In “Real Editorials by the Publisher,” Charles Foster Kane swore his apologies on a stack of Bibles.
Insider that edition we featured “Great Apologies in History.”
Our “Other Apologies” ran more than five pages of small type.
And in Northern Kentucky, we had to apologize to young Eric Deters, and that was even before we started calling him “Crazy.”
To see the entire First Annual Sincere Apology Issue, CLICK HERE.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Crystal Faulkner, Republicans for Higher Taxes’ favorite candidate for Ohio’s Republican State Central Committee.
Another Proud Sponsor and Avid Fan
Today’s edition is brought to you by another generous “in-kind” donation during our April fund-raising drive by Liz Rogers, in exchange for not mentioning how she came up with that $25,000 she gave her landlord on April 1, and how she now plans to scrape together another $40,326 in back rent by noon on April 11, or “voluntarily leave the premises and turn over sole custody and control” to the landlord and pay a $25,000 eviction fee, plus $500-a-day for each day she remains on the property.
TAX FREEDOM COUNTDOWN HOT LINE
e-mail your extension requests tonight.
Some anti-tax items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally anti-tax subscribers.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
10 Worst Ceremonial First Pitches(Guess who is Number Two)
(Sent in by Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend and Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall [3,280 Friends, 59 Mutual], who just might like to know which house in Anderson Township Aroldis Chapman just moved into.)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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