Sunday, February 23, 2013
The Whistleblower Week in Review
OUR NUMBER ONE REALLY GOOFY LOCAL IDEA STORY THIS WEEK was when the City of Springdale allowed for the illicit-needle exchanges for drug users– the only municipality in the area to do so.
- OUR NUMBER TWO REALLY GOOFY LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was when a group called “Protecting Our Students and Teachers (POST)” met at the Public Library in Boondoggle County, where Constable Joe Kalil and Sheriff Mike Helmig hoped to persuade the public that training teachers to carry guns will prevent school shootings.
- AND OUR NUMBER REALLY GOOFY LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was when City Clown-Cil Stupid Streetcar Flip Flopper P.G. Sitt-n-Spin (along with African-American Chamber of Commerce CEO Sean Rugless) got to submit a Politically Correct Opinion Piece in The Fishwrap and called for the City to appoint an “Inclusion Czar,” because if there’s anything this totally screwed up municipality really is, it’s a lot more “Diversity.”
- MONDAY in our Another “Invented National Holiday” E-dition, The Blower The Blower was surprised they’re not calling it “Obama’s Day!”
Last week, Whistleblower Lexicographer Funkin’ Wagnall’s said the proper spelling for today’s invented holiday is “Presidents’ Day,” not “President’s Day” or “Presidents Day.”
Since then, we’ve only seen it spelled wrong about a million times, especially in advertisements by companies which should know better, like Macy’s, Toyota, and the Onion Store, that wants you to fill your life with trivial crap from the past on this “President’s Day.” Maybe it’s just a really big accident when somebody actually spells “Presidents’ Day” correctly.
But now The Blower’s presidential historian Dorian Grady says, “In a way, ‘President’s Day’ could also be correct.
Because according to the federal government, the holiday being observed today is officially “Washington’s Birthday.”
But many dumbed-down Americans believe this holiday is now called “Presidents’ Day,” in honor of both Washington and Lincoln, who were born on February 22 and 12 respectively.
But which president is being honored may actually depend on where you live, because states don’t have to adopt federal holidays, which only shut down federal offices and agencies, and some states that celebrate Washington’s Birthday also recognize Lincoln’s Birthday as a separate legal holiday.
[READ MORE HERE]
- TUESDAY in our Special Official “Post President’s Day Depression” E-dition, The Blower explained that it was thanks to the “Monday Holidays Act” and “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
According to Whistleblower Lexicographer Funkin’ Wagnalls, the proper spelling for yesterday’s invented holiday is “Presidents’ Day,” not “President’s Day” or “Presidents Day.” —Sidney Spellchecker
Why didn’t The Blower just wish everybody a happy patri-idiotic Washington- Adams- Jefferson- Madison- Monroe- Adams- Jackson- Van Buren- Harrison- Tyler- Polk- Taylor- Fillmore- Pierce- Buchanan- Lincoln- Johnson- Grant- Hayes- Garfield- Arthur- Cleveland- Harrison- McKinley- Roosevelt- Taft-Wilson- Harding- Coolidge- Hoover- Roosevelt- Truman- Eisenhower- Kennedy- Johnson- Nixon- Ford- Carter- Reagan- Bush 41- Clinton- Bush 43-Obama Day? —Whistleblower Presidential Historian Dorian Grady
If you’re going to insist on always using “Bush 41” and “Bush 43,” then you must also use “Adams 2” and “Adams 6,” “Harrison 9” and “Harrison 24,” “Johnson 17” and “Johnson 36,” and “Roosevelt 26” and “Roosevelt 32.” —Nerdly Nitpicker
Yesterday we just wished everybody Happy “Barack Obama is the Only President We Care About” Day. —Obama Supporters in the Press
During the Presidents’ Day Weekend, over-taxed payers treated Obama to a well-deserved super secret weekend golfing vacation with Tiger Woods while the First Mooch doubled the cost with her separate over-taxed payer funded holiday in Aspen. —Obama for a Divided America
[READ MORE HERE]
- WEDNESDAY in our Special “Free Needles” E-dition, The Blower said, “Next, Addicts Will Be Getting Free Heroin!”
First Cincinnati City Clowncil voted to keep pissing away over-taxed payers’ money on the Trolley Folly. Then Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP announces he scam to raise money to try to bring the 2016 Republican National Convention to Cincinnati. Now the City of Springdale is allowing for the illicit-needle exchanges for drug users– the only municipality in the area to do so. Charlie Hassell has raised concerns about Needle “exchanges” coming to Deer Park (Link on Deer Park and HB 92 and will again be raising concerns at the February 24 meeting, when Tim “The Syringe” Ingram, Hamilton County Health Commissioner, is scheduled to discuss Needle Exchanges in Deer Park!
How many other communities will be following Hassell’s lead, as it is clarified that the “needle exchange” is really a “needle dispensary” and no needles will be required to be turned in! In which communities will those thousands of dirty, heroin-tainted needles end up?
Will Hassell also go into detail about concerns that municipalities have over not being able zone or restrict such dispensaries…which means the van highlighted in this channel 12 story: February 13 – ch. 12 could actually park near schools (purportedly drug-free zones), parks, churches, and daycares? Or growing business districts?
[READ MORE HERE]
- THURSDAY, in our Special “Fairly Balanced” E-dition, The Blower showed you, “Our Personal Message from Obama!”
Political Insiders continue to congratulate Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane for the totally fair-and-balanced presentation of the news appearing in The Whistleblower-Newswire. The latest example, of course, was Tuesday’s message from Obama, thanking Kane personally: “We’ve accomplished so much together over the last several years,” the e-mail said, “and none of it would have been possible without you, Charles.”
Obama’s e-mail continued:
On November 4th, America will elect the last Congress I will work with as President, and I’m going to do everything I can to help support the Democrats who are going to fight for an America where everyone has a fair shot at success.
I won’t be on the ballot this fall, but these midterm elections will have an outsized impact on what we’re able to get done while I’m in office.
[READ MORE HERE]
- FRIDAY, in our “Just Another Guest Column E-dition, The Blower explained, “But It’s Still the Same Old BS!”
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
Why, it’s none other than Channel 9’s Emmy Award-winning Chief Meteorologist Steve Raleigh who leads the 9 First Warning Weather and plans to go one-on-one with the “Texas Hooker” as soon as she arrives, and our Quote for Today Committee chose Hippy-Dippy Weather Man George Carlin’s “The Weather forecast for tonight is “dark.”
Which is why The Blower, which takes pride in supporting ne’er-do-well sons-in-law of former Republican Hamilton County Sheriffs, to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors. Hurley the Historian says it’s the least we can do, since on this date in 1971, the Mississippi River Delta was pounded by powerful tornadoes that killed more than 100 people.
[READ MORE HERE]
- SATURDAY in our Official “Washington’s Birthday” E-dition, The Blower asked, “Did Congress have to approve GW’s troop surge?”
Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1732, George Washington, the Father of our Country was born. Shouldn’t we have a National Holiday to celebrate the occasion?
That’s why our Quote for Today Committee selected Washington’s “Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.” Do you think the Father of Our Country had Obama in mind?
Whistleblower Presidential Historian Dorian Grady says today would’ve been Washington’s 282nd birthday, but on “President’s Day” George Washington was disrespected once again. According to Freedom Warrior host Radio Greg Halvorson (“Failure to Honor Washington: a Triumph of the Left”) President’s Day is “The equivalent of ‘every leader gets a prize,’ it mocks history, inspires no one, and displays the lengths to which fools go to be foolish. There is no equality between George Washington and James Polk, between Thomas Jefferson and Millard Fillmore, and to assert otherwise says: 1) that no president is different from any other; 2) that individuals must bow to the Collective; and 3) that history is a dull, generic ride.
“This, of course, derives from the Left, which spreads tales – even a few false ones – of racism amongst the Founders, and which not so long ago had members of the NAALCP hide General Washington from view. Indeed, they covered the statue of George Washington with a black box (shown at right), even as they praised the author of the line, “Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”
Maybe that’s why Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin says, “Hey! Maybe someday when the Right is back on top, MLK Day can be changed to Protesters’ Day.”
[READ MORE HERE]
Now Here’s Today’s Report from the Winter Olympics in Sochi
More Weekend Political Insight This Weekend
FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS: Down at The Fishwrap, Metro Mole says you should expect continuous caterwauling about those Mean-Spirited Republicans wanting to move the Board of Elections out of downtown, making it more difficult for DemocRAT Vote Frauders to stand in long lines so Kneepad Liberals in the Press can take their pictures, instead of asking all those people why they’re stupid enough to come downtown just to stand in that line when they could’ve mailed in an Absentee Ballot. Even more ridiculous is the fact that our Frugal Fishwrappers actually think you would pay money for their stupid picture.
Troublemaking TEA Banger Tino Delgato says, “Let me see IF I have this correct. You can get an absentee ballot through the mail six weeks prior to the election. You fill it out and mail it back in. Or you can drive downtown stand in a long line and vote. It must be the less than $1 postage, right? Go Figure!!!”
NB. I am flabbergasted why everyone does not use an Absentee ballot. It never seems to appear as a solution. Are they serving breakfast in the line? Does ACORN Thugs only get paid for those in line?
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1945, U.S. Marines from the 3rd Platoon, E Company, 2nd Battalion, 28th Division raised the American flag on Iwo Jima, but these days all of our enemies are waiting for Obama to raise the White Flag.
- THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE remembers when Oliver North said, “Bill Clinton is not my commander-in-chief.”
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says 77% of Likely Republican Voters think it’s important for Republicans in Congress to work with the TEA Party, but just 38% of these same voters believe the TEA Party will help the GOP in elections this November, whatever in hell all that means.- DUMBED-DOWN DEMOCRATS: This weekend, Obsessive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose were worried about Senate DemocRATS being in big trouble in 2014. Republicans need to gain only six seats to fire Harry Reid as Senate Majority Leader. Four DemocRAT incumbents are attempting to keep their seats in states won by Mitt Romney, and each of these four Senators voted for ObamaCare — the ongoing bureaucratic nightmare and disaster.
FROM CROPPER’S CRAPPER: This week, in honor of Bill Clinton’s upcoming visit to Kentucky for Alison Wondergams Grimes’ fundraiser on Tuesday, We See “Our Former Pants-Dropper-in-Chief’s Recent Woman’s Day Award.” [See More of Edward Cropper’s Photo Shop Editorial Spoofs on Current Events Here]
ALSO IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo reports our Vanilla Hills Vigilante says our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders doesn’t want jurors to be told that police officers shot Ronald “One Ball” Corman in the groin during a lengthy standoff one year ago in Vanilla Hills. In Monday’s case before Kenton Circuit Judge Patricia Summe, The Robster says, “Sometimes Bleeding Heart Juries go easy on a defendant who’s had a testicle and part of his penis shot off.”
RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: In The Blower’s ongoing Black History Month coverage of Mahogany restaurant owner Liz Rogers’ current debacle of amassing huge unpaid bills, even with the incredible $1 million dollar freebie from the city of Cincinnati, several questions arise. Considering Liz Rogers’ long deadbeat history of not paying her bills, why didn’t the City of Cincinnati require her to hire a responsible bookkeeper to pay the bills in a timely manner and an accountant to monitor the cash inflow and outgo as a condition of the one-million dollar so-called “loan” the city so eagerly handed to her? Why did the city hand over a lump sum amount to Liz Rogers, instead of controlling the situation with periodic payments to her based upon her meeting monetary responsibilities? And thirdly, why does Cincinnati’s Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley continue to defend this deadbeat imbecile, who may run off with a million dollars of city money? Why don’t they ask some of these glad-handers who showed up at the Affirmative Action ribbon cutting on October 25, 2012, where they think the money went?
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked David Letterman’s “Enjoying the Olympics? Here’s how it works. The country winning the most gold medals receives a recording contract. The Russians were supposed to do well in men’s and women’s hockey. Now they’ve both been eliminated. Not from competition; actually eliminated. They’re gone. Vladimir Putin threw them a poison state dinner.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” it says instead of using the term “Liberal,” why not try “libtard?” It’s apt (liberal + retard = libtard), it’s highly offensive, and quite wonderfully not Politically Correct. What’s not to like?- MORE POLITICS UNUSUAL: Ohio Second District Voters were not surprised to learn this week that Fred Kundrata is running for Congress as a DemocRAT in Ohio’s First District in 2014, especially since he only got 3% of the vote running unsuccessfully for Congress as a Republican against “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup in 2012, so it would be hard for Fred to do any worse.
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (THE ODIOUS OCTEGENARIAN): Just in time to let folks know about Forrest Gump School District’s plans for a November Tax Hike, we found in his “Political Poems of the Day,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
Limerick for a Levy
A levy here, a levy there
You’ll see a levy everywhere
And you can bet, honey
They’ll take all your money
And leave your pockets bare.
THIS WEEK’S SEEDIEST KID OF ALL WAS “POOCHY BARKER,” who couldn’t have a puppy because his dad was afraid if he couldn’t pay the outrageous Hamilton County’s dog license fees on time, and that Disingenuous Double-Dipping DemocRAT County Auditor running unopposed would make sure the Barker name was published in the newspaper and the entire family would be too ashamed to show their faces in public. [READ MORE HERE]
IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “SAME PLAY, DIFFERENT PLAYERS,” We learned the time Patronage County Republicans took a day of sick leave and traveled to Columbus to welcome Richard M. Nixon to a Presidents’ Day fund-raiser. That op-ed column first appeared in the legendary Mt. Washington Press on February 18, 1981.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY: Organizers are have decided when to wait for warmer weather to schedule their March on Washington to demand more FREE Stuff.
AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane said how proud he was that he and Buckwheat Blackwell are finalists for this year’s Ebony and Ivory Racial Healing Awards during Black History Month, now called Half-Black History Month in honor Obama), and Award-winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception thinks those guys have a pretty good chance.- FINALLY, REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES reports “A Black Eye for Blue Ash when the City of Blue Ash has forced a disabled child to give up her service animal, based on an ignorant, poorly-written ordinance that Clowncil unanimously passed last year. Clowncilman Rick Bryan voted for this legislation, and is currently running for State Rep-tile. If he gets elected, he’ll get to pick on disabled children all across Ohio, and not just in Blue Ash. Republicans for Higher Taxes are so far the lone voice defending Blue Ash’s narrow-mindedness. They applaud Blue Ash for putting the handicapped in their place and hope Tax Hikin’ Rick Bryan can take this policy statewide.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
Monday (February 24) we’ll be celebrating our salute to White Guilt Month, while we’re continuing our countdown of the 1,062 days remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.- Tuesday (February 25) we’ll all be getting ready to cover Disgraced Former Pants-Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton’s visit to Louisville for Alison Wundergams Grimes’ fundraiser, and we’ll see if our Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers can tell us why so many Northern Kentucky DemocRAT women are planning to attend.
- Wednesday, (February 26) we’ll checking to see who won Tuesday night’s “Give Bill Clinton a Blow Job” Lottery.
- Thursday (February 27) we’ll be checking to see if Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP is having any luck bringing the 2016 Republican National Convention to Cincinnati.
- The first line of Friday’s (February 28) limerick is: “This month we study Black History.”
- And Saturday (March 1), will be our Official “Oscar Preview” E-dition, and any other Official “Oscar Preview E-dition” would surely be a fake.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Liz Rogers!
The Libtard Show With Dixon Diaz
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Middle School Football Players Execute Life-Changing Play
(Sent in by Sandkey203@aol.com, who says “This video should be seen all over the country.”)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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