Friday, February 21, 2014
Blownado Warning
Whistleblower Senior Whistleblower Weather-guesser Delkus Apuozzo says he could hardly believe Channel 9 “Substantially True” News had scooped the weather world with breaking news that a “Texas Hooker” might be coming to Greater Cincinnati to cause a lot of weather related problems like blizzards and tornados in the area on Thursday evening. [READ MORE HERE]
Semper Si Leis says if he were still sheriff, the “Texas Hooker” would be arrested on sight.
Jerry Springer will be in town to welcome the “Texas Hooker” with an open checkbook.
In Northern Kentucky, Phyllis on Madison plans to offer the “Texas Hooker” her own street corner.
At Dildo World, Patty Brisben wants to hire the “Texas Hooker” as a Spokes Model.
High-school boys at St. X will be dismissed early for a Floozy Field Trip.
And at Channel 19, “Trish the Dish” is calling it a “Blownado.”
And Channel 5 had this special breaking news report about the arrival of the “Texas Hooker.”
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
Why, it’s none other than Channel 9’s Emmy Award-winning Chief Meteorologist Steve Raleigh who leads the 9 First Warning Weather and plans to go one-on-one with the “Texas Hooker” as soon as she arrives, and our Quote for Today Committee chose Hippy-Dippy Weather Man George Carlin’s “The Weather forecast for tonight is “dark.”
Which is why The Blower, which takes pride in supporting ne’er-do-well sons-in-law of former Republican Hamilton County Sheriffs, to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors.
Hurley the Historian says it’s the least we can do, since on this date in 1971, the Mississippi River Delta was pounded by powerful tornadoes that killed more than 100 people.
- “TWO AMERICAS” by Bob Lonsberry, Rochester talk radio personality on WHAM 1180 AM, responding to Obama’s “income Inequality Speech”
The DemocRATS are right, there are two Americas. The America that works, and the America that doesn’t.
The America that contributes, and the America that doesn’t. It’s not the haves and the have nots, it’s the dos and the don’ts.
Some people do their duty as Americans, obey the law, support themselves, contribute to society, and others don’t. That’s the divide in America.
It’s not about income inequality, it’s about civic irresponsibility. It’s about a political party that preaches hatred, greed and victimization in order to win elective office.
It’s about a political party that loves power more than it loves its country. That’s not invective, that’s truth, and it’s about time someone said it.
The politics of envy was on proud display a couple weeks ago when President Obama pledged the rest of his term to fighting “income inequality.” He noted that some people make more than other people, that some people have higher incomes than others, and he says that’s not just.
That is the rationale of thievery. The other guy has it, you want it, Obama will take it for you. Vote DemocRAT.
That is the philosophy that produced Detroit. It is the electoral philosophy that is destroying America.
It conceals a fundamental deviation from American values and common sense because it ends up not benefiting the people who support it, but it’s nothing other than a betrayal. The DemocRATS have not empowered their followers, they have enslaved them in a culture of dependence and entitlement, of victim-hood and anger instead of ability and hope.
The president’s premise – that you reduce income inequality by debasing the successful – seeks to deny the successful the consequences of their choices and spare the unsuccessful the consequences of their choices.
Because, by and large, income variations in society is a result of different choices leading to different consequences. Those who choose wisely and responsibly have a far greater likelihood of success, while those who choose foolishly and irresponsibly have a far greater likelihood of failure. Success and failure usually manifest themselves in personal and family income.
You choose to drop out of high school or to skip college – and you are apt to have a different outcome than someone who gets a diploma and pushes on with purposeful education. You have your children out of wedlock and life is apt to take one course; you have them within a marriage and life is apt to take another course. Most often in life our destination is determined by the course we take.
My doctor, for example, makes far more than I do. There is significant income inequality between us. Our lives have had an inequality of outcome, but, our lives also have had an inequality of effort. While my doctor went to college and then devoted his young adulthood to medical school and residency, I got a job in a restaurant. He made a choice, I made a choice, and our choices led us to different outcomes. His outcome pays a lot better than mine. Does that mean he cheated and Barack Obama needs to take away his wealth? No, it means we are both free men in a free society where free choices lead to different outcomes.
It is not inequality Barack Obama intends to take away, it is freedom. The freedom to succeed, and the freedom to fail. There is no true option for success if there is no true option for failure. The pursuit of happiness means a whole lot less when you face the punitive hand of government if your pursuit brings you more happiness than the other guy. Even if the other guy sat on his butt and did nothing. Even if the other guy made a lifetime’s worth of asinine and shortsighted decisions.
Barack Obama and the DemocRATS preach equality of outcome as a right, while completely ignoring inequality of effort. The simple Law of the Harvest – as ye sow, so shall ye reap – is sometimes applied as, “The harder you work, the more you get.” Obama would turn that upside down. Those who achieve are to be punished as enemies of society and those who fail are to be rewarded as wards of society.
Entitlement will replace effort as the key to upward mobility in American society if Barack Obama gets his way. He seeks a lowest common denominator society in which the government besieges the successful and productive to foster equality through mediocrity.
He and his party speak of two Americas, and their grip on power is based on using the votes of one to sap the productivity of the other. America is not divided by the differences in our outcomes, it is divided by the differences in our efforts. It is a false philosophy to say one man’s success comes about unavoidably as the result of another man’s victimization.
What Obama offered was not a solution, but separatism. He fomented division and strife, pitted one set of Americans against another for his own political benefit. That’s what socialists offer. Marxist class warfare wrapped up with a bow. Two Americas, coming closer each day to proving the truth to Lincoln’s maxim that a house divided against itself cannot stand.
“A 94 YEAR OLD PROPHECY COMES TO PASS” by H.L. Mencken (1880 -1956). Mencken was a journalist, satirist, critic, and a DemocRAT. He wrote this editorial while working for the Baltimore Evening Sun, which appeared in the July 26, 1920 edition.
“As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron.”
- “WELCOME TO 2014—THE YEAR WE IGNORE OUR PROBLEMS” by Nostradamus Tadwell
Our Phones – Wireless- Cooking – Fireless
- Cars – Keyless
- Food – Fatless
- Tires – Tubeless
- Dress – Sleeveless
- Youth – Jobless
- Leaders – Shameless
- Relationships – Meaningless
- Attitudes – Careless
- Babies – Fatherless
- Feelings – Heartless
- Education – Valueless
- Children – Mannerless
- Country – Godless
- We are – Speechless
- Congress is – CLUELESS
- And our President is – WORTHLESS!
- AND A QUICKIE by our Sharonville Snitch
Scott Pelly said on his Wednesday evening’s CBS newscast this that President Hussein Obama was in Mexico on a “TRADE MISSION.”
I say if we get an old, blind, three-legged Chihuahua for him, we will have gotten the better of the deal.
These items are perfect to forward to all of your Internet Buddies and Facebook Friends with too much time on their hands.
Is Boehner Finally Getting the Message?
Whistleblower Sunshine Bureau Chief Frank Weikel reports beleaguered GOP House Speaker John Boehner and his wife have bought a condominium in Marco Island, Florida, a really expensive vacation town in southern Florida. The Ohio Republican purchased the condo in February 2014 for $835,000, according to public records filed in Florida. He put down $185,000 and took out a mortgage for the rest, according to public records. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception caught Boehner’s expression when a reporter asked if this mean he was planning to make every Real Republican happy by packing it in.
Stories We’re Working On
-
Obama’s Empty Threats Against Ukraine - Lapdog Media Silent as FCC Plans to Police Newsrooms
- Biden Admits ObamaCare Numbers Won’t Recover
- Winter Olympics Almost Over
- Indicted State Rep-tile Peter Beck says, “I won’t resign!”
- Group says Steve Chabothead Not Conservative Enough
- Arming Students in Northern Kentucky
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s what the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said was the worst local idea they heard about all week:
(A) Free Needles for Heroin Users: 2%
(B) Arming Teachers in Northern Kentucky Schools: 1%
(C) That Scam to Raise Money to Bring the 2016 Republican National Convention to Cincinnati: 1%
(D) The “Give Bill Clinton a Blow Job Lottery” at Alison Wondergams Grimes’ Fundraiser Next Tuesday: 94%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Weekly Whistleblower Limerick Contest
Presidents’ Day Poetry
This week, everybody who lets their kids open their Presidents’ Day presents on Presidents’ Day Eve e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest. The winner is noted presidential scholar Elwood P. Twiddle, PHD, instructor emeritus at Hooven Tech.
Elwood wins bus fare to visit the home of William Henry Harrison, that’s been paved over to become the intersection of Washington and Symmes Streets in North Bend, Ohio; a steel-engraved portrait of George Washington suitable for framing, and commemorative kneepads from the Clinton White House. His winning limerick is:
The best part about Dead President’s Day
Is that them we no longer obey
Though Abe was a prince
With Obama I wince
Wish he was a Good DemocRAT today.
The best part about Dead President’s Day
Is putting on a powdered toupee
And playing judge with a gavel:
Have will travel…
“Don’t sanction me, bro – I’m OK!!”
Dishonorable Mentions
The best part about Dead President’s Day
Shouldn’t be getting a day off with pay.
The purpose, you slacker,
Is to become a statesmen like backer,
Because our virtues are in serious decay.
The best part about Dead Presidents’ Day
Besides having a day off with pay;
Is not to be patriotic,
But to do something erotic,
And celebrate our moral decay.
The best part about Dead Presidents’ Day,
(Other than staying home with full pay);
Is that Clinton, Carter, and others,
One day will join those dead mothers,
And we won’t have to hear the crap that they say.
The best part about Dead President’s’ Day
Is putting apostrophes in play.
Some people guess
Before, or AFTER the ‘ess’,
Whatever would your English teacher say?
And from the Anderson Laureate (who now knows why his poetic license is being revoked and now has something to tell the padre at this week’s confession):
The best part about Dead President’s Day
Is that the Messiah will eventually end up that way.
Then we’ll see him no more
Especially at Mt. Rushmore
If I never see him again, that’s OK.
The best part of dead Presidents’ Day
Is that at some point this one will also be that way.
I don’t wish him bad luck
(Though I really don’t give a good … uh … “darn”)
Just call me a nasty old Republican ofay!
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“This month we study Black History”
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Horny Historians.
TEXAS HOOKER HOT LINE
e-mail your sexual sightings today.
Some prostituted items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally really prostituted subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Send Out the Clowns
(Sent in by Larry the Rantin Redneck—NOT YET a Faux Facebook Friend)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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