Thursday, February 20, 2014
A Personal Message From Obama
Political Insiders continue to congratulate Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane for the totally fair-and-balanced presentation of the news appearing in The Whistleblower-Newswire. The latest example, of course, was Tuesday’s message from Obama, thanking Kane personally: “We’ve accomplished so much together over the last several years,” the e-mail said, “and none of it would have been possible without you, Charles.” Obama’s e-mail continued:
On November 4th, America will elect the last Congress I will work with as President, and I’m going to do everything I can to help support the Democrats who are going to fight for an America where everyone has a fair shot at success.
I won’t be on the ballot this fall, but these midterm elections will have an outsized impact on what we’re able to get done while I’m in office.
There’s so much more we can be doing to create opportunity for our family members and neighbors. We cannot afford to move back or stand still. This year has to be a year of action for all of us.
Pitch in to elect more Democrats today:
https://my.democrats.org/Enter-To-Win
Thanks,
Barack Obama
P.S. — Don’t worry about your flight and hotel — if you win, those will be covered for you and a guest. Support Democrats today, and automatically enter for a chance to meet me later this month in D.C.
Does that prove how fair and balanced The Blower is, or what?!
More Fairly-Balanced News
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1962, John Glenn became the first American to orbit the Earth, and creditors still waiting to get paid from all of that Deadbeat DemocRAT’s political campaigns, say, “Who gives a big rat’s ass?”- NO WONDER OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Aesop’s “We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.”
CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET wonders if you’ve seen the vile-and-disgusting picture of Disgruntled Defrocked DemocRAT Juvenile Court Judge Tracie Hunter being crucified on that whacko “Citizens Against Joe Deters” web page?
RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: With all the snow hereabouts during February, this has got to be the whitest Black History Month ever.- DIRTY NEEDLE UPDATE: Since the Ohio Department of Health sponsored a $48,000 grant, did the Governor sign off on the Needle Dispensary? How much money does the State have for Illicit Needle Exchanges? Surely there aren’t any other state or local officials involved with this kind of activity! Are there? And are the Hamilton County Commissioners supporting the Illicit Needle Dispensaries, or is it only Springdale?
FOOL’S ERRAND UPDATE: Maybe the reason we haven’t gotten so much as a Tweet from Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP telling us if he’s having any luck bringing the 2016 Republican National Convention to Cincinnati, is because he was ice dancing with his “Old Blue Face” alter ego at the Winter Olympics in Sochi. [See if you can tell which one is the girl]- ANOTHER FOOLISH ERRAND: Ohio Second District Voters are not surprised Fred Kundrata is running for Congress as a DemocRAT in Ohio’s First District in 2014, especially since he only got 3% of the vote running unsuccessfully for Congress as a Republican against “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup in 2012, so it would be hard for Fred to do any worse.
TODAY’S UNITED APPALL PERSON is Jessie Groper, who visits the Willard Skankfinder Drop-In Center for Really Ugly Teenage Tramps, another one of the 112 United Appall Agencies serving some of the Area’s more unfortunate citizens. Jessie is glad the United Appall met its fund-raising goal. Now he can continue to fondle the really ugly teenage tramps and give them his business card. “I just want to be loved,” says Jessie. “Is there anything wrong with that?”
TODAY’S SEEDIEST KID OF ALL is Young Poochy Barker, who couldn’t have a puppy because his dad was afraid if he couldn’t pay the outrageous Hamilton County’s dog license fees on time, and Disingenuous DemocRAT would make sure the Barker name was published in the newspaper and the entire family would be too ashamed to show their faces in public.
So the Seediest Kids of All (not affiliated with the Failed United Way Campaign) sent over a digital dog. It sits up and speaks and craps on the rug just like a real dog. It even humps grandma’s leg. Noted businessman-socialite-indicted felon-tax scofflaw Roger Ach invited Young Poochy to his Christmas party so he could meet other contemptuous law violators who didn’t like paying higher dog license fees, or any other taxes for that matter. “Never worry about paying for stuff like that,” Roger advised Young Poochy. “What can they do to you, foreclose on your damn house? And even if they do, you can always get some rich sucker like Carl Lindner to buy it and let you live there for free, at least until his sons find out and make him kick your sorry ass out on the street.”
The entire Barker family is grateful to the Seediest Kids of All, but it’s really you they have to thank, since it’s your liberal guilt throughout the year which makes it all possible.
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo wonders which event will get more news coverage— Last night’s meeting of Protecting Our Students and Teachers (POST) at the Public Library in Boondoggle County, where Constable Joe Kalil and Sheriff Mike Helmig hoped to persuade the public that training teachers to carry guns will prevent school shootings (POST is based on concepts that were developed for the National Armed Pilots Program and incorporates lessons learned by law enforcement in more than ten years of study since Columbine).
The other event is next Tuesday’s Deranged DemocRAT fund-raiser in Louisville for Alison Wondergams Grimes in her attempt to unseat Kentucky Senior Senator Bitch McConnell in November, where Former Pants-Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton will embarrass everybody in Kentucky with a smidgen of decency who believes it was wrong for a President of these United States to get blow jobs from an intern in the Oval Office. The Blower often remembers when Kentucky’s Venerable Former U.S. “Beanball Jim” Bunning called Bill Clinton the most corrupt, amoral, and despicable president he’d ever seen.
Will The Blower be covering both events? You bet! As the fair-and-balanced publication of record for all the political scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing in the Tri-state, our readers know to expect nothing less—not that any of those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters who gave Obama another four years to ruin the country in 2012 would ever appreciate the difference.
Meanwhile, when Texas TEA Party U.S. Senate Candidate said Kentucky’s Bitch McConnell looked like a turtle, the Senate Surrender Caucus Leader said, “I resemble that implication.”
And while FreedomWorks for America spends all that money for those hideous “Retire Mitch” signs, perhaps they should tell all those Bluegrass TEA Party Fanatics campaigning for Matt Bevin not to put all those signs in one place, particularly in the public right of way where they’ll be confiscated. No wonder local government officials in Louisville wanted all those signs taken down immediately.
- FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about that Member of the Whistleblower Legal Dream Team who went to Florida last weekend to get away from the cold weather in Cincinnati. The water temperature in Naples, Florida was a brisk 66 degrees on Sunday, and our Dream Teamer would go in the ocean past his knee at Naples Beach. “It was silly to travel all that distance just to take a swim,” Kane explained. “Back in Cincinnati, the water in the Outdoor Geezer Pool at the Lyons YMCA was a balmy 79 and our Good Friend Bobby Leach says you could see more revealing T&A in the new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.”
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially RINOs.
More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans
Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our February fund-raising drive by POST (Protecting Our Students and Teachers), for helping arm all the teachers in Kentucky classrooms.
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Some Really Stupid Liberal Ideas in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Really Stupid Liberal subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Dr. Barbara Bellar sums up ObamaCare
(Sent in by Faux Facebook Friend Daryll Parks [5,000 Friends, 73 Mutual] )
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