Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
According to Whistleblower Lexicographer Funkin’ Wagnalls, the proper spelling for yesterday’s invented holiday is “Presidents’ Day,” not “President’s Day” or “Presidents Day.” —Sidney Spellchecker - Why didn’t The Blower just wish everybody a happy patri-idiotic Washington- Adams- Jefferson- Madison- Monroe- Adams- Jackson- Van Buren- Harrison- Tyler- Polk- Taylor- Fillmore- Pierce- Buchanan- Lincoln- Johnson- Grant- Hayes- Garfield- Arthur- Cleveland- Harrison- McKinley- Roosevelt- Taft-Wilson- Harding- Coolidge- Hoover- Roosevelt- Truman- Eisenhower- Kennedy- Johnson- Nixon- Ford- Carter- Reagan- Bush 41- Clinton- Bush 43-Obama Day? —Whistleblower Presidential Historian Dorian Grady
- If you’re going to insist on always using “Bush 41” and “Bush 43,” then you must also use “Adams 2” and “Adams 6,” “Harrison 9” and “Harrison 24,” “Johnson 17” and “Johnson 36,” and “Roosevelt 26” and “Roosevelt 32.” —Nerdly Nitpicker
Yesterday we just wished everybody Happy “Barack Obama is the Only President We Care About” Day. —Obama Supporters in the Press- During the Presidents’ Day Weekend, over-taxed payers treated Obama to another well-deserved weekend golfing vacation while The Mooch doubled the cost with her separate over-taxed-payer-funded holiday in Aspen. —Obama for a Divided America
- Here’s some good news: Only one in five companies with fewer than 500 employees say they are “likely” or “very likely” to discontinue company-provided healthcare coverage within five years. —Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters
Has the Republican National Committee called yet to announce Cincinnati has been chosen the Republican National Convention in 2016? —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP- Has the White House called to announce we’ve been chosen to be flown to Washington to meet POTUS after we donated $10 to the latest lottery 487 times?—Obsessive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose
- Please remember how GOP House Speaker John Boehner caved in to Obama and the Disingenuous DemocRATS one more time by enthusiastically supporting that so-called clean debt ceiling hike in the House. —Boehner’s Opponents (whoever the hell they are in that May 6 GOP Primary in only 77 more days)
- Has anybody figured out why the US Boobsled Team is not doing very well at the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi? —Edward Cropper, Photo-shop Editorial Spoofer on Current Events
Yesterday, at the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, our hopes were riding with “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman and his sexy skating partner. —The Whistleblower Winter Olympics Committee
It’s truly an honor to be among this year’s finalists with Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane for the Ebony and Ivory Racial Healing Awards during Black History Month, now called Half-Black History Month in honor of the current resident at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. —Buckwheat Blackwell- Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. —The Seediest Kids of All
- We think we deserve more credit. —United Appall People
- We’re currently investigating that curious similarity between Saturday’s Patronage County column entitled “Be My Valentine” published 32 years ago and Thursday’s “Valentine’s Daze” E-dition. —Freddie Factchecker
It’s true—the same Fred Kundrata, who got 3% of the vote when he ran unsuccessfully for Congress as a Republican against “Mean Jean” Schmidt in Ohio’s Second District in 2012, is now trying to run even more unsuccessfully for Congress as a Dumbed-Down DemocRAT in Ohio’s First District against Steve Chabothead. —Hamilton County Board of Elections- Don’t tell me Kevin O’Brien was in the Indoor Geezer Swimming Pool at Lyons YMCA pool again. Maybe that’s why it’s taking two weeks to clean it. —Anderson Trustee Gerth Pappas
It’s been a more than a year since this headline first appeared on The Drudge Report, and since that time, we’ve heard a lot of grumbling about impeachment. But now it’s long past time for words to give way to action. It’s time for Congress to get the message… we want Barack Obama impeached and we want him impeached now. —GrasstopsUSA.com- Obama would already be impeached if he weren’t America’s first black president.—Conservative Columnist Ann Coulter
- Now you see why Kentucky Fourth District Republican Thomas Massie wussed out of answering that question at last week’s town hall meeting in Wilder. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
Please remember to quote Senate Surrender Leader Bitch McConnell when he said he voted to advance a clean debt-ceiling bill this week because his job is “to protect the country” when he can. —McConnell’s Opponents whoever the hell they are in that May 20 Kentucky GOP Primary in only 91 more days)- That’s why we recall this particular McConnell quote from March 29, 2001: “This is a stunningly stupid thing to do, my colleagues, and don’t think anybody out there is going to save us from this.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
- On this date in 1861, Bluegrass native Jefferson Davis became the provisional head of the Confederacy, but I also remember when Goof Doofus claimed to be related, since Goof called Obama “boy” and he’s sure his double-great uncle Jefferson would’ve too. —Hurley the Historian
- When will The Blower start counting down till BB&BJ Day? —Horny in Hebron
I just got done reading Sports Illustrated “Swimsuit Edition,” but only for the articles. —Your Good Friend Bobby Leach - What articles? —Your Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders
- The guys at the station tell me I should be on the Swimsuit Edition? —TV 19’s Lingerie-Model-Turned-Reporter-Turned-Anchorbimbo Tricia “Leemarie” Macke
- I quit WXIX-TV to embark on the most ambitious independent journalism project in history and make the Truth in Media project a reality. If the 2016 Republican National Convention comes to Cincinnati, I could sell a lot of “Pictures of Trish from my Private Collection” for only $5 apiece. —Ben Swann
- In case you missed our prediction last week, The Blower is going on record and predicting the 2016 Republican National Convention will probably NOT be held in Cincinnati. —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane
- And if all of that isn’t Newsworthy enough, check out my new video this week. —Uncle Jay Explains the News
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Philanderers.
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer—
Sometimes The Blower ridicules the local RINO Party’s Fool’s Errand to show that wasting any time and money on this exercise in futility instead of focusing on defeating Democrats is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who reads Alex T.’s Trendy Tweets.
Disclaimer: This publication is sometimes a work of fiction, but it may still contain inappropriate remarks and unsupported personal attacks, especially anybody who would contribute money to the HC GOP’s 2016 RNC Convention Scam.
WHISTLEBLOWER WINTER OLYMPICS HOT LINE
e-mail your Sochi Snapshots today
Some bisexual biathlon items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally bisexual biathlon subscribers.
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
Judge Jeanine Pirro Blasts Obama’s Blatant Executive Power Grab
(Sent in by Faux Facebook Friend Charles Tassell [Friends 584, Mutual Friends 93] )
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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