Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
Yesterday, I took some local Republicans with me to Washington D.C. to try to convince the selection committee at the Republican National Committee to allow Cincinnati to host the 2016 Republican National Convention. No kidding. —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP- Alex was the obvious choice to lead the group, especially since Hamilton County didn’t turn Blue with the help of $tan Che$ley for at least five minutes after he took over the party. —Real Republicans in Southwestern Ohio
- We could promote a soup line protest on Fountain Square like I did when I was Mayor of Cincinnati and Ronald Reagan came to the Westin.—Cincinnati Vice Mayor David Mann
- I sure hope my Trolley Folly is up and running in time for all those rich white Republicans to enjoy a Jurassic Park Ride through the Killing Fields of Over the Rhine. —Disgraced Dainty DemocRAT Former Cincinnati Mayor Mark Mallory
I wonder if Old Blueface told the committee that prostitutes in Northern Kentucky still take checks or credit cards. —Embarrassing Former Cincinnati Mayor Jerry Springer- I promise to try not to embarrass the City if Republicans let me emcee another rally. —WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham
- Bible Thumping Republicans will feel most welcome when they visit our Creation Museum in Boonedoggle County. —Ken Ham at Answers in Genesis
- Over-charged Republicans will feel most welcome on our Waterfront boat ride to Bromley. —Jeff Ruby
- Do you think we could get the DemocRATS on City Clown-cil to vote for millions of dollars to bring such a great event to the Queen City? —Both Republicans on Clown-cil
I made sure to tell the committee about the County’s great relationship with our Billionaire Sports Team Owners. —Hamilton County Commissioner Greg Hartmann- Republican candidates who switched parties would really feel stupid if 2016 RNC Convention wound up in Cincinnati. —Hamilton County Board of Elections
- I’ll even ask “Millionaire Mike Brown” if we can offer the naming rights to stadium for the Republicans’ big outdoor rally. —Bob Bungalhaus
- After I showed the committee pictures of my Phallic Palace on the Riverfront, I reminded them of how much Republican money has always been raised in Southwestern Ohio. —Western and Southern CEO John Barrett
Maybe that’s why we chose “A Fool and his money are soon parted.” —Your for Today Committee- I told the committee all about the availability of hotel rooms in nearby cities like Dayton, Lexington, and Indianapolis. — Convention and Visitors Bureau President Dan Lincoln
- Do you think we could have the Drawbridge Inn remodeled by then? —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters
- I reminded the committee that Log Cabin Republicans would have a gay old time in Cincinnati. —Rob “Fighting for Fabulous” Portman
I reminded the committee that Portman’s Protégé “Mean Jean” Schmidt is no longer representing the area in Congress. —“Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup- The Republican Party will be sure to attract more black voters in 2016 when they mention mandatory tours of our Uppity Oprah Winfrey Campaigning for Obama, Under-funded, Ugly-ass Unnagraown Rayroe Museum Not-So-Freedom Center. —Belligerent Black Blogger Nate “Rhymes With Hate” Livingston
- I hope I’m still in business in 2016, but I doubt any of those honkies would enjoy my chitlins and greens anyway. —Liz Rogers at Mahogany on the Banks
- Although we didn’t have any room for that story on Monday’s front page, we did scare up a little space in our online edition. —Feckless Fishwrappers
Last week The Blower really mocked me just because I scammed all that money from local leaders for my phony baloney Olympics bid in 2012. —Former Cincinnati Clown-cilman Nick Vehr (who caught two passes in nine games for Coach Dan Devine as a member of the 1978 Notre Dame Football Team)- That was only three years after I became only the second and final person ever to be carried off the field following the game by the Notre Dame players. —“Rudy” Ruettiger
- Obama carried Hamilton County twice, while Northern Kentucky stayed “Red.” If Republicans want to reward failure, choosing Cincinnati is one way to do it. —Northern Kentucky Republicans
- We would be only too happy to brand Cincinnati during the Republican National Convention as “Loserville!” —Kneepad Liberals in the Press
Does this mean Hillary will be bringing her 2016 DemocRAT Convention to Cincinnati too? —“Trish the Dish,” Channel 19 News- I quit WXIX-TV to embark on the most ambitious independent journalism project in history and make the Truth in Media project a reality. If the 2016 Republican National Convention comes to Cincinnati, I could sell a lot of “I Support Truth in Media” bumper sticker for only $5 apiece. —Ben Swann
- The Blower will be going out on a limb today and predict the 2016 Republican National Convention will probably not be held in Cincinnati. —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane
- And if all of that isn’t Newsworthy enough, check out my new video this week. —Uncle Jay Explains the News
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially over-the-hill DJs who used to play Beatles music on the radio.
Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer
Sometimes The Blower ridicules the local RINO Party’s Fool’s Errand to show that wasting any time and money on this exercise in futility instead of focusing on defeating Democrats is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who reads Alex T.’s Trendy Tweets.
Disclaimer: This publication is sometimes a work of fiction, but it may still contain inappropriate remarks and unsupported personal attacks, especially anybody who would contribute money to the HC HOP’s 2016 RNC Convention Scam.
CINCINNATI 2016 RNC CONVENTION HOT LINE
e-mail your Republican Reactions today
Some mercilessly mocking comments in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally mercilessly mocking subscribers.
WHISTLEBLOWER LINK OF THE DAY
Judge Jeanine Pirro Opening Statement: “What did you do for Benghazi, Mr. President?”
(Sent in by Olympic Swimmer Wannabe Dan Carroll)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.