Sunday, February 9, 2013
The Whistleblower Week in Review
OUR NUMBER ONE WINTER OLYMPICS STORY THIS WEEK was when it was discovered that the Russian who lit the Olympic Cauldron had tweeted a racist picture of the Obamas last year.
- OUR NUMBER TWO WINTER OLYMPICS STORY THIS WEEK was Obama’s IRA announced American Olympic gold medal winners could owe almost $10,000 in taxes on income earned abroad.
- AND OUR NUMBER THREE WINTER OLYMPICS STORY THIS WEEK was when the Whistleblower Winter Olympics Team arrived in Sochi and two of the members were questioned about their sexual preference. Can you guess who they were?
- MONDAY in our Annual “Ka-Ha-Rat Su-Per” E-dition, The Blower The Blower explained that it to placate the masses, you must offer them bread and circuses.
And we explained that olden rituals have lost their meaning. They just aren’t the same anymore, since they’re rooted hundreds, sometimes thousands of years in antiquity and they’re not really relevant to what’s happening today.
Reporting on Mideast violence from Israel this weekend, Noted Israeli Religious Reporter Yitzhak Tadwell said recently on a hill near Bethlehem, a shepherd watching his flocks by night tripped over a stone tablet. Biblical scholars labored long and hard to decipher the ancient Aramaic writing. But now they don’t want to tell us what it says.
[READ MORE HERE]
- TUESDAY in our Special “Super Bowl Post Game” E-dition, The Blower said, “Is the Hype Over Yet?” and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
Nothing says what’s right with Obama’s America like millions of under-employed, Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters watching multi-millionaire athletes inflict concussions on each other in-between scores of over-hyped $4 million 30-second TV commercials as the nation plunged further into debt, coming to you live from the MetLife Stadium, as Adipose Americans consumed 1.25 billion more chicken wings, 50 million pizza slices, and a little beer in sports bars across the country and at home. —The Moral Minority
Although two weeks ago Obama said that he would not let his son, if he existed, play pro football, Barack Obama marked Super Bowl Sunday by tweeting a picture of Barack Obama throwing a football like a girl. —Obama’s White House Press Dweeb Jay Cardboard
I tried to throw in the towel during our humiliating 43-8 loss, but the other side woul’ve just intercepted that too. — Denver Bronco MVP Quarterback Peyton Manning
After further review Peyton Manning did not have the normal Flu, he had BIRD FLU from too many Seahawks. Go Figure!!! —Trouble-making Tailgaiter Tino Delgato
During my pre-Super Bowl interview on Fox News, Obama said there was “not even a smidgen of corruption” behind the Internal Revenue Service’s targeting of conservative groups, and then he said, it all depends on what the meaning of “smidgeon is.” —Bill O’Reilly
Last week on the Chinese New Year, did anybody remember to send them a New Year’s card instead of our interest payment on the $1.3 Trillion we owe? —American Over-Taxed Payers
Is this the Winter of Wall Street Discontent or what? The Dow was only down 326 points for starters this week on Monday. —Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes
[READ MORE HERE]
- WEDNESDAY in our Special “Primary Filing Deadline” E-dition, The Blower said, “How hard is it to get 50 freaking signatures anyway?”
In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says while many folks are still talking about Groundhog Day, others have been swaggering or sullen at the results of the Bronco-busting Super Bowl, but a handful of state level politicians and political hacks across Ohio are anxiously awaiting the results of a much more important event: Filing Day – 4:00 pm February 5, 2014.
But today is a day that the Party Unfaithful have come to dread. Will there be a primary? More to the point, will they draw a primary opponent? Will the RINOs have to run to the Right? Will Dems have to pander to the Left? How active will the TEA Party be? And other Third Parties, will anyone even care?
All those State Rep-tiles who wandered away from home and principle to be bought and sold like commodities in Columbus have a time of tension as they wait to see if they have drawn an opponent. Will they, like Ron “Trash the Constitution” Maag, call for the repatriation of their many donations to the party caucus? Or will they blithely continue on until it’s too late, like “Mean Jean” Schmidt? How many races across Ohio will generate a challenge? Was it only a coincidence that guest columns and letters to the editor from TEA Party Patriots demanding $tate Rep-tile-for-Sale Peter $tautberg be removed from office appeared just before tomorrow’s filing deadline? Local newspapers would have the dumbed-down masses believe it’s all merely random and circumstantial. Party Leaders like Ol’ Blue Face and Tim Burka (they are in different parties, right?) have things all under control, so the problem must stem from Columbus, say from Speaker Batch’ and his buddy the Redfern.
[READ MORE HERE]
- THURSDAY, in our Special “Reagan’s 103rd Birthday” E-dition, The Blower reported the Reagan family had told our local GOP to take his name off this year’s RINO event, as we remembered the Gipper:
Hurley the Historian said Ronald Reagan was born on this date in 1911. Reagan’s birthday is a High Holy Day for Conservatives, especially during these trying times, and Real Republicans are asking, “What would He do today?
If The Gipper were alive today, here’s what he might say about the Obama Administration:
“Government does not solve problems; it subsidizes them.”
Instead of “Morning in America, it would be “Mourning in America.”
About today’s economy, Reagan might say: “Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.”
About RINOs and DemocRATS in Congress, Reagan might say:
“Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets.”
[READ MORE HERE]
- FRIDAY, in our “Just Another Guest Column E-dition, The Blower explained, “But It’s Still the Same Old BS!”
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
Why, it’s none other than local Flim-flammer Nick Vehr, who scammed all that money from local leaders for his phony baloney 2012 Winter Olympics bid. Which is probably why our Quote for Today Committee chose Thomas Tusser’s (and Nick Vehr’s) “A fool and his money are soon parted.”
That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in supporting local communications consultants who claim “Results Matter,” has selected our former Cincinnati Clown-cilman (who caught two passes in nine games for Coach Dan Devine as a member of the 1978 Notre Dame Football Team) to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors.
[READ MORE HERE]
- SATURDAY in our Special “Same Time Last Year” E-dition, The Blower said, “Those Were the Good Old Days!”
Think of how much things have changed since the first Saturday in February, 2013. It was our Special “Ignoring National News” E-dition because everybody knows “All politics is local!”
OUR NUMBER ONE STORY LAST YEAR was the anniversary celebration in Clermont County of the Archie Wilson Scandal, and the Cronies asked us to reprise our Top Ten List in Archie’s Honor.
So once again, was the top ten reasons the Resigned in Disgrace Former Clermont County Commissioner Archie Wilson traded drugs for sex with a hooker who called herself “Amanda Lay” at a sleazy motel in Northern Kentucky:
10. I forgot
9. The dog ate it
8. She told me she loved me
7. I did it to help the homeless
6. The Devil made me do it
5. I just wanted to be loved–is there anything wrong with that?
4. I’m a TEA Party Republican
3. I was framed
2. This whole thing is just one big terrible mistake
…and the Number One Reason Resigned in Disgrace Former Clermont County Commissioner Archie traded drugs for sex with a hooker who called herself Amanda Lay at a sleazy motel in Northern Kentucky was… the guys at GOP Headquarters and the campaign manager of my first political campaign for Batavia Township Trustee (none other than That Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch Mean Jean Schmidt) said nobody would ever find out.
[READ MORE HERE]
Winter in Ohio
It’s winter in Ohio And the gentle breezes blow, 70 miles per hour at 52 below!
Oh, how I love Ohio When the snow’s up to your butt; You take a breath of winter air And your nose is frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful, You may think I’m a fool. I could never leave Ohio, Cause I’m frozen to the stool.
More Conservative Political Cartoons
Seediest Kids of All
Today we bring you the inspiring story of Norbert Bleek, a cute little 8-year-old from Northern Kentucky whose mother couldn’t afford to buy him new Nike gym shoes and Polo T-shirts all the time, so Norbert was forced to wear his older sister Betsy’s tattered, out-of-style, hand-me-down dresses. Norbert’s school mates were often cruel, especially when they made fun of the way he dressed.
So the Seediest Kids of All (not associated with the Failed United Way) sent over some school clothes, courtesy of Norma Rashid’s Recycled Clothing Store in Fort Thomas.
These days when Norbert goes to school, he wears his own tattered, out-of-style dress, instead of one previously worn by his older sister. Norbert’s classmates still make fun of him, but it’s not just because he wears girls’ clothes. It’s because his mother is a lesbian, and they live in Y’All Ville, KY, where laughing at a child whose mother has hairy legs is not prohibited by that city’s Human Rights Ordinance.
The Bleek family has you to thank, because it’s your liberal guilt throughout the year which makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
More Weekend Political Insight This Weekend
FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS: Down at The Fishwrap, Metro Mole says everybody’s really excited about all those new pages being added every week. That means more local and regional diversity news, more politically correct state news, more dumbed-down national and international news, more left-wing local and national business news, more celebrity-obsessed local and national entertainment news, and more meaningless national sports. More of all the unsubstantial news reporting and just-plain-interesting stories all of our low-information voters told us they wanted.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1825 the U.S. House of Representatives voted to elect John Quincy Adams (who won fewer votes than Andrew Jackson in the popular election) president of the United States.- THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose JQA’s: “Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost.”
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Republicans are counting on a health care fix to help them capture the Senate, and in several key races, the early signs are favorable to the GOP.
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says Disgraced Former Pants Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton will be coming into Kentucky to campaign for Desperate DemocRAT Alison Wondergams Grimes in her attempt to unseat GOP Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell. If anything will class up a political campaign for an attractive woman, a visit from Bill Clinton certainly ought to do it. Bluegrass Blowjob Jokes begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…
Meanwhile, DemocRATS in DC are e-mailing everybody on their suckers list groveling for ten-dollar donations because those mean spirited Republicans are talking about impeaching Obama again.
Stop the Presses: Bluegrass TEA Party Congressman Thomas Massie says Congress won’t pay for the Brent Spence Bridge anytime soon, because there’s no magic pot of money in Washington, D.C. to pay for the $3.5 billion Brent Spence Bridge project.
BREAKING NEWS: Ohio GOP Senator Rob Portman will be joining “Meet the Press” with NBC Obama Apologist David Gregory Sunday morning at 9:40am to discuss the new Congressional Budget Office’s estimate that 2.5 million Americans will be dropping out of the workforce over the next 10 years due to ObamaCare.
The Robster will be going head-to-head with Disingenuous DemocRAT Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and will be advocating for the repeal of ObamaCare and the enactment of real reforms to lower health care costs and restrain government spending.
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER says, “I’ll miss Jay Leno on the ‘Tonight Show.’ He always had the best jokes. Any why is the final show always the best one? If more shows had been like Thursday night’s, NBC never would’ve taken him off the air.”- MORE POLITICS UNUSUAL: The Blower wonders if the Hamilton County Board of Elections made a big mistake this year, listing a candidate who ran as a Republican in 2012 as a DemocRAT candidate for a major political office in the 2014 Primary Elections in only 86 more days?
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” No. 137 says, “Tell a joke”: Q: How do you starve an Obama supporter? A: Hide his food stamps under his work boots.- RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: Black History Month has become a joke because most people have forgotten why we celebrate Black History Month in the first place.
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (THE ODIOUS OCTEGENARIAN): This poem appears in his “Sentimental Poems of Presidential Birthdays,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
Honesty Might Not Be the Best Policy
They called him “Honest Abe”
He meant just what he said.
But Washington couldn’t handle that
So they shot him in the head.
IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “TRUTH—THE BEST DEFENSE,” We heard what happened when Muck Raker, political columnist for the Patronage County Innuendo, testified as an expert witness at $10 million libel suit against the National Enquirer. That op-ed column first appeared in the legendary Mt. Washington Press on March 8, 1980.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY: Organizers are trying to decide when to schedule their March on Washington to demand more FREE Stuff. If they decide to have it in February, they first thing they’re going to demand is FREE long johns. 
THIS WEEK AT A MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were Political Insiders were seriously discussing how ObamaCare would be slowing America’s economic growth over the next decade, costing the nation about 2.3 million jobs and contributing to a $1 trillion increase in projected deficits, according to the Congressional Budget Office report released Tuesday.
The non-partisan group’s report found that the DemocRAT Boondoggle’s effects on the economy will be “substantially larger” than what it had previously anticipated. “How can that be,” Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane exclaimed. “Our Feckless Fishwrappers can’t stop telling their readers about the total wonderfulness of ObamaCare, every chance they get.
THIS WEEK AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
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Monday (February 10) we’ll be checking in with our Whistleblower Focus Group to see what ordinary Americans think of all those candidates running in the May Primary Elections in Ohio and Kentucky, while we’re continuing our countdown of the 1,076 days remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless he’s impeached. - Tuesday (February 11) we’ll be watching to see if the Stock Market plummets even further during the current Obama Recovery.
- Wednesday, (February 12) we’ll be celebrating the real Lincoln’s Birthday, not that phony baloney Presidents Day holiday they made up to give our slacker society another three-day weekend.
- Thursday (February 13) will be Valentine’s Day Eve, so if our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane is planning to take Mrs. Kane out to dinner for Valentine’s Day to celebrate their 44th Wedding Anniversary on Friday, he should do it on Thursday, since restaurants won’t be as crowded, and they won’t have jacked up their prices yet.
- The first line of Friday’s (February 14) limerick is: “If you forget St. Valentine’s Day.”
- And Saturday (February 15), Black History Month will be more than half over, and we’ll be checking all those white people’s “Guilt Index.”
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially REAL RACISTS!
Message to Hollywood
We really don’t give a rat’s ass when some rich Hollywood narcissists ODs. It’s not as if this actor actually contributed anything to the good of America by pretending to be someone else.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
18 Floors Of The National Anthem
Every year students attend the Kentucky Music Educators Association Conference to perform as part of the Kentucky All-State Choir. As is their tradition every year, they come out of their rooms every night just before 11 pm to sing the National Anthem. The Choir reportedly had 1000 students distributed throughout the building on all the 18 floors of the building.
(Sent in by Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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