Daily Archives: February 5, 2014

Special “Primary Filing Deadline” E-dition

One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories. 

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

4 PM Can’t Come Soon Enough For Us

  •  image005In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says while many folks are still talking about Groundhog Day, others have been swaggering or sullen at the results of the Bronco-busting Super Bowl, but a handful of state level politicians and political hacks across Ohio are anxiously awaiting the results of a much more important event: Filing Day – 4:00 pm February 5, 2014. 

But today is a day that the Party Unfaithful have come to dread.  Will there be a primary? More to the point, will they draw a primary opponent?  Will the RINOs have to run to the Right?  Will Dems have to pander to the Left? How active will the TEA Party be? And other Third Parties, will anyone even care?

All those State Rep-tiles who wandered away from home and principle to be bought and sold like commodities in Columbus have a time of tension as they wait to see if they have drawn an opponent.  Will they, like Ron “Trash the Constitution” Maag, call for the repatriation of their many donations to the party caucus?  Or will they blithely continue on until it’s too late, like “Mean Jean” Schmidt?  How many races across Ohio will generate a challenge? Was it only a coincidence that guest columns and letters to the editor from TEA Party Patriots demanding $tate Rep-tile-for-Sale Peter $tautberg be removed from office appeared just before tomorrow’s filing deadline? Local newspapers would have the dumbed-down masses believe it’s all merely random and circumstantial. Party Leaders like Ol’ Blue Face and Tim Burka (they are in different parties, right?) have things all under control, so the problem must stem from Columbus, say from Speaker Batch’ and his buddy the Redfern.

And case you missed seeing Ohio TEA Party Guy Tom Z have fun Monday on FoxNews with Neil Cavuto discussing Obama’s pre-Super Bowl interview with Bill O’Reilly, and specifically his statement that there was no corruption in the IRS Targeting of TEA Party Groups, we have that video for you here.

  • HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1994, white supremacist Byron De La Beckwith was convicted in the murder of African-American civil rights leader Medgar Evers 31 years earlier. Now that’s really something worthy of celebration during Black History Month.
  • COUNTING CANDLES: Thursday would’ve been Birthday Number 103 for Ronald Reagan, and Northern Kentucky Republicans wonder if any of our Reaganites would like to submit a Top Ten List of Reagan Quotes they’re sure The Blower might even consider publishing.

Also in Northern Kentucky, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken Camboo says all Tuesday afternoon, Bible Thumpers were watching the bottom of their TV screens during the soap operas to see if that over-hyped “Creation versus Evolution Debate” at the Lizard Museum in Boondoggle County between Bill Nye, the Science Guy, and Ken Ham from Answers in Genesis had been postponed, due to the coming of the White Death.   

  • 300dpi rgb jpg 10"x6.64"LIVE FROM SOCHI: The Winter Olympics in Russia begin on Friday, and Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says The Blower shouldn’t forget to remind our Persons of Consequence about all those gullible donors who pissed their money away on Nick Vehr’s failed wet dream to bring the 2012 Olympics to Cincinnati.
  • THURSDAY NIGHT is Jay Leno’s final “Tonight Show” program, and our Late Night TV Jokewatcher especially liked Leno’s “You want to be careful if you gamble on the Super Bowl. Last year I made a Super Bowl bet with Jimmy Fallon. I think we know how that turned out.”
  • image010COMING SATURDAY: Probably about 600 people will turn out for the NE Hamilton County Republican Club’s pancake breakfast.  This is the best place to see and be seen if you want to act as though you are an important part of the Republican Party in Hamilton County.  

The featured speaker will be Former Conservative Senator from Terrace Park, Rob Portman.  Yes, Portman is still in the Senate.  He’s just a Former Conservative.  Rob shed his Conservative skin when his gay son came out of the closet. Observers everywhere wonder what the Robster would have said if his son’s wrist got limp before he was in his comfortable perch in the Senate. 

Rob is just like his son now, bending over to the Depraved DemocRATS every chance he gets. Rob is such a big draw, the club website doesn’t even list him as the featured speaker.  Of course, fixing that would require work, which is in short supply among the Hamilton County Republican Party’s “activists,” who are only active at feeding their faces and talking others down while all of them claim to be the living embodiment of Ronald Reagan’s Legacy.

image009Expect the usual amount of speechifying and pontificating from the political blowhards. The 20 TEA Partiers in attendance will have done more for the conservative movement than the other 580 pontificating suck-ups combined.  This annual Pancake Breakfast hasn’t been the same since Willie Cunningham campaigned for The Evicted One during her 2006 primary Scampaign against Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen.

Meanwhile, Republicans for Higher Taxes announced their kickoff of the 2014 primary season, and pledged to provide their usual campaign coverage for the duration of the primaries.  They are especially happy to see their good friend, Blue Ash Councilman Tax Hikin’ Rick Bryan, running for State Representative to bring higher taxes to the entire state.

  • SPEAKING OF MEETINGS: Excitement is really building in Anderson for Wednesday night’s big 2014 kick-off meeting for the Anderson Township Republican Club, where newly elected Township Trustee Gerth Pappas will ask members to join hands and try to contact the living, and most folks will be arriving really early so they don’t miss the collection of members’ annual dues at the beginning of the meeting.
  • WHISTLEBLOWER WAR COVERAGE: Bush 41’s War in the Gulf was still going on twenty-three years ago this week, when Edition #36 (published on February 5, 1991) of the original printed edition of The Whistleblower (not the Newswire) was delivered to Persons of Consequence all over town. Here are some of the items. See if you recognize any of the names.

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  • image014AND AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATRIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were talking about how ObamaCare would be slowing economic growth over the next decade, costing the nation about 2.3 million jobs and contributing to a $1 trillion increase in projected deficits, according to the Congressional Budget Office report released Tuesday.

The non-partisan group’s report found that the DemocRAT Boondoggle’s effects on the economy will be “substantially larger” than what it had previously anticipated. “How can that be,” Kane exclaimed. “Our Feckless Fishwrappers keep telling their readers about the total wonderfulness of ObamaCare, every chance they get.

Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Mark Twain’s “If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.”

  • FINALLY, OUR GOOD FRIEND BOBBY LEACH says he has a new TV Show. He changed his last name to Bob Jacobs for Show biz purposes, and calls it “Bob’s Workshop.” Eat your heart out, Garry Sullivan!

image015Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Do-It-Yourselfers.


CREATIONISM DEBATE HOT LINE

e-mail us your Bogus Bible Stories today. 

image016 Some really evolutionary edicts in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally really evolutionary subscribers. 


Whistleblower Link of the Day

Georgia Lawyer’s Insane Super Bowl Ad

(Sent in by  Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters) 

image015Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.


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