Daily Archives: February 3, 2014

Annual “Ka-Ha-Rat Su-Per” E-dition

Monday, February 3, 2014

Decadence and Moral Decay

            image005Olden rituals have lost their meaning. They just aren’t the same anymore, since they’re rooted hundreds, sometimes thousands of years in antiquity and they’re not really relevant to what’s happening today.

Reporting on Mideast violence from Israel this weekend, Jerusalem Bureau Chief Yitzhak Tadwell said recently on a hill near Bethlehem, a shepherd watching his flocks by night tripped over a stone tablet. Biblical scholars labored long and hard to decipher the ancient Aramaic writing. But now they don’t want to tell us what it says.

Seems the tablet describes a barbaric pagan celebration. They fear we might actually practice it, and that would turn us into vulgar vandals, even as our culture continues to devolve during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, where the government would gladly go further into debt, just to placate the people.

At that time in history it became the most popular of celebrations, and more people observed it than any of the other truly holy days.

On this Unsanctified Sabbath there were no sacraments. No ceremonies. No words of worship. No prayers of any kind. No candles to be lit.

On this Day of Decadence, the mind was to ignore all care and woe. Sin was to be savored. Only the most primitive pleasures were to be enjoyed.

As translated from the Sacred Scrolls of Coz-zel, the celebration was a most hedonistic holiday. It was not spiritually uplifting, because it brought forth man’s baser instincts.

image007In a trial by combat, where only the fiercest fighters could take part, they recalled bloody exploits of legendary heroes like Samson, Spartacus, and gladiators of ancient Rome.

The masses were accustomed to being entertained with bread and circuses, and no cost was too great to attend. These days it would probably be deer antler spray and chicken wings.

And though the contest was most violent, as the tablet states, no man was actually meant to be slain. Yet, any manner of injury could be sustained, including the barbaric rite of spiking the skin of a slaughtered swine down the throat of a vanquished opponent.

Yet, as violent as the extravaganza may have appeared, it’s pomp and pageantry did stir the lust within an Emperor’s loins, and he always congratulated the winners.

image009Winsome maidens, scantily clad, gyrated sensuously to the beat of tribal drums. Trumpets blared. Banners waved.

On this Day of Self-Indulgence, clowns and musicians and fools entertained. Beer flowed like wine. Wine flowed like water. And the revilers were commanded to eat only sweets and treats, and the most delicious of meats. Yet none was of ample sustenance. Today, we’d probably call it “junk food.”

And the people gambled. More shekels were wagered on this one day than on all chariot races and gladiatorial contests during the year combined.

image011Called “Ka-Ha-Rat Su-Per,” the iniquitous celebration, which was even more fun than watching fierce creatures devouring screaming slaves, falls a little more than one lunar month after Christmas, or about this time of the year as the calendar exists today.

Not since Sodom can any festivity be found so completely void of any redeeming value (other than an Obama Coronation, a Bill Clinton Oval Office Orgy, or a Disgraced DemocRAT U.S. Senator paying for sex with underage Dominican Republic whores).

That was until Sunday night in New Jersey when the Denver Broncos played the Seattle Seahawks in “Ka-Ha-Rat Su-Per” XLIVIII.

And how was that event exploited? Those who couldn’t afford to attend stayed home to watch all those commercials on TV. This year, a 30-second ad cost $4 million. Last year, they only cost $3.8 million. But even if commercials were selling for $5 million apiece, they’d still be sold out.

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SUPER BOWL BETTING SCAMS HOT LINE

e-mail your wagering warnings today.  

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Some sacrilegious items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally sacrilegious subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.


Ka-Ha-Rat Su-Per Video of the Day

Funniest Super Bowl Commercials of 2014!

(Sent in by Andy FurBall)

PLUS 

Doritos Super Bowl XLVII commercial – 2013 Winner

Funniest Ten Super Bowl XLVI 2012 Commercials

The 25 Best Super Bowl Commercials of All Time

image014Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.


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