Saturday, February 1, 2014
Happy Black History Month, Everybody!
Today we begin with the first of 687 profiles in our continuing racial-healing series about local Caucasian residents who just happen to be named “Black”:
Samuel P. Black grew up in Norwood. As an ordinary young white man, he dropped out of junior high at the age of 14 to go to work during the depression. He served without distinction as a PFC in WWII, came back home, married the girl next door, and rented a house in an all-white neighborhood in Bellevue, Kentucky.
Black raised three children, none of whom was ever arrested. He worked at night and on weekends at a pony keg to make ends meet.
After he retired, he became a crossing guard at the local elementary school. Sometimes he just sat on the porch and waved at cars.
“Sam was a good man,” said a neighbor who vaguely remembered him. “He always kept his yard real nice.”
Tomorrow’s Black History Month Racial Healing Profile: TLPMB Mean Jean Schmidt’s eviler twin sister Jennifer Black.
Our Quote for Today comes from British-American financial journalist and author Peter Brimelow, who said, “The modern definition of a ‘racist’ is someone who is winning an argument with a liberal.”
WE HOPE YOU DIDN’T FORGET: Payment for your Hamilton County Property Taxes had to be post-marked by midnight last night, and tax preparers all over Hamilton County were busy all week helping over-taxed property owners complete their complicated tax forms. And it’s no wonder, since some people’s property taxes are included with their mortgage payments, and they never actually see how much they’re paying for those fools in schools and all those other taxes that are included. That’s why The Blower always says everybody should have to write a really big check on Property Tax Day, and they should hold elections on the same day people have to pay for all those taxes.
First, there are school taxes. Could you ever believe you ever approved paying that much for children of all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters walking around these days? The next big piece goes to the City, Village, or Township where you live. Then come all your other taxes for such things as a Joint Vocational School (wherever the hell that is), County General Fund, Public Library, Family Service/Treatment, Health and Hospital Care for the Indigent, Mental Health Levy, Development Disabilities, Park District, Crime Information Center, Children Services, Senior Services, Cincinnati Zoo so they don’t kill all the elephants, and the Museum Center.
The FREE Grain Party says it’s a shame we don’t have an effective local “Anti-Tax” Organization to talk about such things, and our good friend Bunky Tadwell (the Bard of Cleves) says, “The worst part about your property taxes is that they never seem to go down, and never does anybody else I know.”
Hamilton County Treasurer Robert A. Goering says if you forgot to use one of those new 49-cent postage stamps (required since last Sunday) when you mailed in your “Jacked-Up Taxes and your payment was returned due to insufficient postage, our Disingenuous DemocRAT Double-Dipping DemocRAT Obama-loving County Auditor will still publish your name in The Fishwrap, along with all those other deadbeats.”
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1790, the U.S. Supreme Court met for the first time with Chief Justice John Jay presiding, and instantly afterward, DemocRATS began whining that the election had been stolen.
- OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Fallon’s “Last night of course was the State of the Union address, and during his speech, President Obama promised to focus on economic growth, education, and healthcare. Or as people tuning in put it, ‘Oh, it’s a rerun.’ “
ARE ALL THE CHARACTERS THE WHISTLEBLOWER WRITES ABOUT REAL? Yesterday, a Person of Consequence we’ll call Duffy “The Big Spanky Slayer” Beischel thought he recognized a strange similarity between yesterday’s fictional “Seediest Kid of All” (“Little Greggie” Delev) and an ostracized Anderson Township resident he once knew. Perhaps Duffy forgot that The Whistleblower is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental even if they both have the same name, especially running mates of Masturbating Township Trustee Kevin “Big Spanky” O’Brien.
IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Tuesday, May 6, is Primary Election Day in Ohio. Now that Hamilton County Tax Day has passed, maybe The Blower will have something else to count down in the lower right hand corner of our Web Page. In Anderson, Community Press guest columnist Judy Guju says “It’s time to replace $tate Rep-tile-for-Sale Peter $tautberg, but will the TEA Party be endorsing anybody to run against him?- IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says you won’t believe how many people actually think they have a chance to beat RINO U.S. Senator Bitch McConnell in the Kentucky Primary Election on May 20. Besides TEA Party Guy Matt Bevin, Republicans James Bradley Copas, Chris Payne, and Shawna Sterling have also thrown their hats into the ring. For the Desperate DemocRATS, besides Alison Wondergams Grimes, we have Burrel Charles Farnsley and Gregory Brent Leichty destined to give concession speeches in only 108 more days.
- ALSO IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: The latest and greatest e-dition of Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth’s Attorney E Rob Sanders’ delightfully un-dignified e-newsletter is on cyber news stands now! This week’s This Week In Kenton Circuit Court features some classic mugshots, surely to make the Robster’s felonious mugshot “Hall of Shame”! Get a gander at this sampling of super models.
- FINALLY, AFTER LAST NIGHT’S SPEAKING ENGAGEMENT, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if everybody was really excited about celebrating Black History Month this Year. “It’s time for bigots to take a four-week vacation,” Kane explained. “And just remember, when you wish a black person Happy Black History Month, you’ll have to hope that person isn’t offended by the word “black.”
CELEBRATING BLACK HISTORY MONTH HOT LINE
e-mail your favorite chitlins recipes today.
Some vile-and-disgusting items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally vile-and-disgusting subscribers, like this Commemorative Black History Month Greeting from former KKK Grand Klegal, Good DemocRAT U. S. Senator Robert Byrd.
MORE BLACK HISTORY MONTH E-CARDS
Link of the Day
Top 60 Ghetto Black Names
(Sent in By Our Belligerent Black Blogger Nate “Rhymes With Hate” Livingston)
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
“Truth—The Best Defense” by James Jay Schifrin
Last week in Los Angeles, Muck Raker, political columnist for the Patronage County Innuendo, testified in comedienne Harriett Hairnett’s $10 million libel suit against the National Enquirer.
Ms. Harinett called Raker as an expert witness, because he regularly commented on people in public life.
The Enquirer also asked Raker to appear. In fact, he was their whole defense.
The court reporter red the disputed Enquirer gossip column: “At a post Washington restaurant, an obnoxious Harriett Hairnett had a drunken shouting match with another diner, Adrian Messenger, Then she traipsed around the place taking a bit out of everyone’s dessert. But Harriett really raised eyebrows when she accidently fell all over another diner—and started giggling instead of apologizing. The guy wasn’t amused and accidentally punched her in the mouth.
“You heard the article, Mr. Raker,” said Ms Harinett’s attorney. “What do you think of it.”
“Catchy style, but $10 million is too much. That’s more than $160,000 a word.”
“Tell me this,” said the attorney. “Would you have written it?”
“I don’t know, sir. I wasn’t there.”
“Object, your honor,” argued the Enquirer attorney. “Mr. Raker often writes about politicians without being there, Then he calls them crooks. If he doesn’t get sued for what he writes, we shouldn’t either.”
“Objection overruled,” said the judge. “The difference is for as politician to sue Mr. Raker, the politician would have to prive he wasn’t telling the truth.”
This op-ed column first appeared in the feisty Mt. Washington Press on March 25, 1981.
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