One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
OBAMA’S INSTANTLY FORGETTABLE STATE OF DISUNION ADDRESS:
Tuesday night, Obama threatened to use executive power in HIS State of Disunion address, claiming he was eager to work with Congress but willing to go it alone. “See you in court,” said the GOP. Congresswoman Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-Wash.) delivered an assured performance Tuesday night as she contrasted Obama’s State of the Disunion address with the GOP’s “hopeful” vision for the nation. Senator Mike Lee (R-Utah) took on Obama’s recent focus on income inequality in his TEA Party response, seeking to lay out a positive Conservative agenda for “those Americans who may feel they have been forgotten by both political parties.” Senator Rand Paul (R-Ky.) pitched a libertarian vision for the nation in his rebuttal. But Army Ranger Sergeant Cory Remsburg stole Obama’s thunder bringing the entire House chamber to its feet.
Our Sharonville Snitch says he watched the State Of The Dis-Union speech on NBC Tuesday night. It was appropriately ironic that the preceding show was: “The Biggest Loser.”
Tuesday night, Ohio Second District Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup said, “We need a President willing to work with Congress, not around Congress.” Better yet, on Wednesday, Ohio First District Congressman Steve Chabothead blogged “The State of the Union Address President Obama SHOULD Have Given.” [READ THAT HERE] Now you can see why The Blower boycotted watching that vulgar State of Disunion Circus.
At least Congressman Steve Stockman (R-Texas) left Obama’s State of Disunion speech early after “hearing how the president is further abusing his Constitutional powers, and during Obama’s 65-Minute SOTU Speech, the Federal Government only racked up $120 Million more in Debt, and spent an additional $455.7 Million we don’t have. And if you bothered to look at your stock portfolio Wednesday afternoon, Whistleblower Business Editor Merrill Forbes says Investors didn’t think a whole lot of the way Obama was running the country, either.
And just think, we only have 1,086 more days of all of this remaining during America’s Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless he’s impeached.
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says the percentage of Americans who think the country is “Strong” under Obama is now a whopping 3%.- WHISTLEBLOWER WORDSMITHS: The Whistleblower’s Garrulous Grammarian says “Four Flushing” is a poker term referring to a person who makes empty boasts or bluffs when holding only four cards of one suit (instead of five). A “Four Flusher” can also refer to a welcher, piker, or braggart, and when you look up “Four-Flusher” in your Funkin’ Wagnall’s, you see Obama’s picture.
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1835 in the House chamber of the U.S. Capitol, President Andrew Jackson, the seventh president of the United States, survived the first attempt against the life of a U.S. president. “What a great day that was,” said a Cable TV News Producer. But Obama will never have to worry, not with Joe Biden as his “Assassination Insurance.”
- THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose George Bernard Shaw’s “Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.”
Meanwhile, these days a GOP candidate for the Florida House of Representatives is under fire from his own party and said he’s been visited by the Secret Service after he tweeted Monday that Obama should be hanged for treason. “I’m past impeachment. It’s time to arrest and hang him high,” said, Joshua Black, a 31-year-old Republican candidate for Florida House District 68.
FREE GRAIN PARTY UPDATE: Washington insiders are reporting that John Boehner will unveil a proposal to grant amnesty to 11-12 million illegal immigrants when Republicans meet behind closed doors in a matter of days. If that happens, there might be less Free Stuff to go around for all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters.- IT WAS SO COLD: Tino Delgato asked if anyone has see Al Gore during this Polar Vortex. Where is all that Global Warming he predicted? Now that is an inconvenient truth, he may be at the Super Bowl for the coin toss; hopefully in a t-shirt and a hanging chad. Go Figure!!!
- DUMB-DE-DUMB-DUMB: At the Cincinnati Police Department, Sergeant Friday says, “Wow, the police department is really becoming a progressive agency. Approximately 200 officers competed for the sergeant’s examination, which tests one’s knowledge of the department’s rules, regulations, policies, procedures, city ordinances, state laws, and union contracts. The final results are in and a whopping 22 officers passed the examination. What a confidence booster! Kinda makes you feel all warm and fuzzy about the commitment level of our police department, doesn’t it? I wonder if they had a question to determine whether the FOP president should understand laws pertaining to theft and perjury.”
- IN ANDERSON TOWNSHIP: The Forrest Gump School District voted to stop letting high school students go to either Turpin or Anderson. Turpin has some loyal followers who are so angry they want to move out of Anderson or sell their Anderson area home and move to a Turpin area house. What in the hell is a “Swing Street” anyway? And while we’re asking questions, when will those guys at Stagnaro, Saba, & Patterson finish removing that blight on their law office building?
WHISTLEBLOWER WAR COVERAGE: Twenty-three years ago this week, Edition #35 (published on January 29, 1991) of the original printed edition of The Whistleblower (not the Newswire) was delivered to Persons of Consequence all over town.
That Week’s “Really Big Story” reported how Patriot missiles would be protecting Cincinnati from attack.
Our Top Ten List was the reasons Americans had gotten tired of the War in Iraq after only 13 days.
From Washington, Congressman Landslide Charlie Luken reported Senator Joe Biden was calling Operation Desert Storm a fake and introducing a bill in Congress to call off the war.
Hamilton County Sheriff Si Leis had armed the county helicopter with Cruise missiles in order to achieve peak readiness status.
Northern Kentucky restaurateur Jeff Ruby planned to change the name of The Waterfront to Amphibious Landings.
And you could still listen to “War Talk” 24/7 on WAR AM and FM, anywhere on your radio dial (except during sports-talk programs).
Plus, there was a big ad for the Scud Bowl on that Sunday.
CH Snitch at 1000 Main Street also remembers 23 years ago in The Whistleblower, then Hamilton County Treasurer Wayne F. Wilke sent his warmest regards to the troops serving in the Gulf War.
Speaking of which, current Hamilton County Treasurer Robert A. Goering says according to the Countdown Clock on the lower-right–hand corner of this web page, you can no longer ignore your “Jacked Up Tax Bill,” because you only have until midnight tomorrow to remember to use a new 49-cent postage stamp and get your money in, or our Disingenuous DemocRAT Double-Dipping DemocRAT Obama-loving County Auditor will publish your name in The Fishwrap, along with all those other deadbeats.”
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says ever since Matt Bevin was the featured speaker at Monday’s meeting of the Northwest Hamilton County TEA Party, NoKY Conservatives have been wondering why the Bluegrass Businessman wasn’t in the state where he is running against U.S. Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell, whose campaign warchest is overflowing. Maybe believed what he read in The Fishwrap, which touted how the TEA Party was promising a huge ground game during the next 110 days between now and the GOP Primary on May 20.- ALSO ON THE SOUTH SHORE: Also in Northern Kentucky, that Cabal of NoKY Lawyers Still Out to Destroy Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club), said they heard how sad and depressed “Crazy Eric” has been ever since he heard that the Ohio Supreme Court had just suspended him for 60 days in Ohio for the same actions that resulted in his suspension last year in Kentucky, and one of those eighteen attorneys “Crazy Eric” reported working for him had advised what that little clause that says his Ohio suspension won’t be lifted “till he’s reinstated in Kentucky” might really mean, since Crazy Eric’s 60-day suspension has been over for ages, and the Bluegrass Bar Association still has taken him off suspension.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, a political insider was asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why most people don’t get as upset on Property Tax Days as they do on the big April 15 Tax Day. “Most people’s property taxes are included with their mortgage payments,” Kane explained. “So they never see how much they’re paying for those fools in schools and all those other taxes that are included.” That’s why The Blower always says everybody should have to write a really big check on Tax Day, and they should hold elections on the same day people have to pay their taxes. Do you think our elected officials would go along with that?”
Seediest Kids of All
The Schnozzy Heimlich Story
Schnozzy Heimlich was a balding little six-year-old boy whose dad kept giving him small items to swallow so he could test his untried life-saving maneuvers. He always dreamed of being a part-time legal commentator on TV, just like his hero Mike Allen, because that way people would think he was a legal expert, even if he could never claim a distinguished legal or political career.
So the Seediest Kids of All sent over an official TV reporter’s trench coat to help Schnozzy look the part; DVDs of all those old “Law and Order” episodes, so Schnozzy could study up on how Prosecutor Jack McCoy got all his convictions; Ken “Mad Dawg” Lawson gave Schnozzy some lessons on abrasive courtroom theatrics, and the folks at TV 9 Substantially True News even gave Schnozzy a chance to audition.
Unfortunately, during his first broadcast, Schnozzy “reported” the “Law and Order” case that everybody had seen on TV the night before, threw in some of those “If the glove don’t fit, you must acquit” lines he’d seen Johnny Cochran use during the OJ Trial, and said, “But that IS my real nose,” when that cute little TV 9 reporterette asked him.
The Heimlich family called to express their gratitude for all our help, but it’s really you they have to thank, because it’s your guilt and tax dollars throughout the year which make it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans
Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our January fund-raising drive by Hamilton County Treasurer Robert Goering (no relation to Hermann), for all that great publicity we continue to provide him for doing absolutely nothing.
PROPERTY TAX HOT LINE
e-mail us your appraisal scams today.
Some over-valued items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally over-valued subscribers.
Whistleblower Link of the Day
The 2014 State of the Uterus Address
(Sent in by Skaggie Maggie)
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