Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

Today begins Obama’s sixth year in office, and Conservatives are wondering if this is the year he will finally admit some responsibility for the economy or anything else. — Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus
From the day Obama first took office, Obama continued to blame me for everything. —George W. Bush
In 2012, Obama ran for re-election by telling lies, buying votes, using the government to attack his opponents, and claiming a single four-year term just wasn’t enough time to fix things, and even more than that “47%” who would never vote for me believed him. —Mitt Romney
At least they figured out Romney was right about that 47% who would never vote for him, no matter what. Those people are still dependent upon government. They believe they’re victims. They believe the government has a responsibility to care for them. They believe they’re entitled to free health care, food, free housing, and all the other free stuff they could get their hands on, including ObamaPhones. These people pay no income tax. —Obama’s Campaign Committee
Do you think it’s too early to start thinking about our mid-term strategery for 2014? —Republicans Wandering in the Wilderness
Will we still be getting our all free stuff? —Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Voters
If you think signing up for ObamaCare is tough, just try opting out. —Cancer Patients Whose Treatment Has Been Put on Hold Due to ObamaCare
Thursday we’ll be celebrating the Whistleblower’s Annual Countdown Day, commemorating the first time Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane employed the Countdown Device. Can you guess what it was for? —Whistleblower Countdowners
On this day in 1977, U.S. President Jimmy Carter granted an unconditional pardon to hundreds of thousands of men who had evaded the draft during the Vietnam War, and over at WLW Hate Radio, Phony Patriot Bill Cunningham says that’s a date he remembers well. —Hurley the Historian
That’s why we chose William Randolph Hearst’s “A politician will do anything to keep his job – even become a patriot.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
Here’s a riddle: What’s the difference between the front page of Monday’s Local Section page and the DemocRAT Party’s newsletter? The DNC newsletter has a smaller picture of Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr. —Feckless Fishwrappers
We call on Reverend Al Sharpton to help us fix the grave injustice that has stained our town. Judge Tracie Hunter has been indicted on nine felonies solely because she is a black DemocRAT! —Republicans for Higher Taxes
You won’t believe all the money we collected when I came to town yesterday to raise money for Indicted DemocRAT Judge Tracie Hunter’s Legal Defense Fund. —PMSNBC Race Baiter Al Sharpton
Is this an appropriate day to once again accuse Mayor John Cranley of buying off his support in the black community?” —Cincinnatians for “Progress” Co-Chair DereKKK Bauman
When I e-mailed my politically correct MLK Day message, did I forget to mention that the great civil rights leader was a Republican? —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
I guess I should pretend to like minorities today, too. —Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka
I’m not a racist, but there are some black people in the Hamilton County Clerk of Courts office that I haven’t fired yet. —Tracy Winkler
Was it a coincidence that Monday was the only day of the year our admission is free? —The National Underground Railroad Freedom Center
In Northern Kentucky, the Covington City Commission wonders if we should really be calling yesterday’s holiday “Twelfth Street/ Martin Luther King Day.”—Ken CamBoo
Last Friday’s Whistleblower Web Poll asked “How will most Americans be spending Martin Luther King Day?” but the only choices were “Honoring slain civil rights leaders,” “Watching NBA basketball on TV,” “Getting wet marching in a Protest Parade,” and “Getting another day off with pay.” How about all of us who had to work while all those damn free-loaders got the day off? —Bluegrass Conservatives
I’m outraged that Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane as Official Voice of the Conservative Agenda would dare write about hypocrites exploiting Martin Luther King Day. —Jesse Jackson
Remember when I said, “I miss the ’70s where you had shows like ‘The Jefferson’s’ and ‘All in the Family’ where Black people could be Black and white people could be white. Racists could be racists, and non-racists could be non-racists, but it was talked about.” — Queen Latifah
We always celebrate Martin Luther King Day with a special hate speech seminar by Professor Clinton Hewan. —The NKU Affirmative Action and Multi-cultural Affairs Office
The Blower was right. National Female Breast Appreciation Day is better than Martin Luther King Day. —Horny in Hebron
Bet you can’t wait for BB&BJ Day to arrive on March 20. —Bobby Leach
If you don’t have a real job, can you still take off work for Martin Luther King’s Birthday? —BuckWheat Blackwell
You forgot to join us at the Newport Piece Bell where we’re still trashing U.S. Marines for pissing on dead terrorists. —Bluegrass Liberals
And you also forgot to mention singing “My Old Kentucky Home,” especially the part about all the darkies being happy and gay. —Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis
Each Martin Luther King Day I like to repeat my favorite former Secretary of the Agriculture Earl Butz’s politically incorrect joke about “loose shoes.” — WLW Hate Radio Racist in Residence Bill Cunningham
I had a dream too, but as usual, it was wet. —“Eric ‘Call Me Crazy, Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator’ Deters
Last week’s “Seediest Kid of All was Little Eric D. —The Seediest Kids of All (not associated with the Failed United Way)
We think we deserve more credit. —United Appall People
Which of the people who want my job in Congress would introduce legislation giving Black folks the entire Black History Month off with pay? —Bluegrass Ball Buster Thomas Massie
In last week’s column titled “Signs of the Times,” we found out why somebody had been tampering with signs at the courthouse. —Your Friends in Patronage County
Here’s our position on Free Stuff: “If It’s Free, It’s For Me!” —The FREE Grain Party
Would The Blower be willing to do a testimonial ad and tell people about our fine service? —Time Warner Business Class
You should’ve seen the celebrations after the big game between the Seattle Seahawks (left) and the San Francisco 49ers (right) Sunday night. —Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall

If Black History Month officially begins on Martin Luther King’s Birthday, when does it ever end? —Channel 19 News
I always wear my afro wig to celebrate Martin Luther King’s Birthday. —Jack Atherton, TV5 News
And if all of that isn’t Newsworthy enough, check out my new video this week. —Uncle Jay Explains the News

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer—

Sometimes The Blower uses racial and ethnic slurs to show that bigotry of any kind is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a total retard.

Disclaimer: This publication is sometimes a work of fiction, but it may still contain inappropriate remarks and unsupported personal attacks, especially about “Black Racists.”

SLACKERS WANTING THEIR OWN DAY OFF WORK HOTLINE

e-mail your most far-fetched intentions today

Some race-baiting items items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally race-baiting subscribers.

WHISTLEBLOWER LINK OF THE DAY

Judge Jeanine Pirro Opening Statement – Justice For Benghazi – Hillary 2016

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.