Thursday, January 9, 2014
Service Temporarily Restored
- Wednesday, The Blower e-mailed Persons of Consequence on The Official Whistleblower Subscribers List to let them know why their Tuesday editions had not arrived. It said:
Ever since Monday afternoon, the recorded message at Time Warner Business Class has advised us (on each of the 87 times that we have called) that what we have been experiencing is a “temporary service interruption in our area,” most likely due to the dreaded Polar Vortex, and as soon as all those Time Warner Business Class technicians can locate and fix the problem, The Blower may resume its normal publication schedule.
And for what it’s worth, the fine folks at Warner Cable Business Class say “they’re sorry.”
- That surely put a damper on The Blower’s Surprise Birthday Party Celebration for our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane. The announcement that the party had been cancelled due to the weather at the bottom of everybody’s TV screens kept a lot of people away. And indeed, the number of celebrities who actually showed up at the party after the after party of the birthday party was a lot fewer than we’d expected. Award Winning Illustrator Artis Conception shows us who actually showed up.
CINCINNATI MAYOR JOHN CRANLEY, who insisted he would never allow this party to happen on his watch, actually attended.
SEMPER SI LEIS, who says I’d really rather be swimming naked at the Cincinnati Athletic Club, actually attended.
ERIC “CALL ME CRAZY” DETERS, who just got his ass reamed by Hamilton County Judge Ethna Cooper when she said she wished she could disbar him in Ohio, attended the party. [READ MORE HERE]
DETROIT POLICE CHIEF JAMES CRAIG, who says, “Michigan doesn’t make you take a test to be a police chief so I like it there better,” actually attended.
FOXY ROXY QUALLS, who tried to sell everybody property along the streetcar route, actually attended.
HAMILTON COUNTY PROSECUTOR “JAYWALKING JOE” DETERS, who said, “there’s no way Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka will ever make those phony voting irregularity charges stick,” actually attended.
“MEAN JEAN” SCHMIDT, who said she’s still waiting for Joe Braun to tell her whether she should run against “Bronze Star Brad” Wentstrup in the May 6 Republican Primary, actually showed up
LAURE “NOT SO CLEANLIVIN”, who can now be a full time “Slut for Obama,” actually attended.
AND OUR GOOD FRIEND KENTON COUNTY COMMONWEALTH ATTORNEY E ROB SANDERS, who said, “Please don’t ask what I’m doing with my right hand,” actually attended.
Seediest Kids of All
The Juanito Rameriz Story
As early as 1999 in our Seediest Kids of All series, The Blower was telling you about Juanito Rameriz, a lonely little 9-year-old Latino lad who lived in squalor with his family in one of WESTCO’s dilapidated buildings in Lower Price Hill, and how he dreamed of one day meeting his hero Anthony Munoz. Juanito’s father Manuel labored on a P&G construction site. Juanito’s mother Maria worked as a maid in a Sharonville motel. Juanito’s sisters Carmalita, 12, and Conchita, 13, slaved long hours sorting lettuce for Senor Bob Castellini’s fancy Hyde Park soirees. But no matter how hard they all worked, they could never share The American Dream; because they were all illegal aliens, and they couldn’t keep up their extortion payments to the “coyotes” at the Illegal Aliens Association who gouged them for $2,000-per-peon smuggling fees, plus extra for living accommodations, plus more for forged Federal documents, and still more for job placements with local companies.
So the Seediest Kids of All sent the entire Rameriz family to see the caring folks at the Lower Price Hill Hispanic Outreach Center. You should’ve seen little Juanito smile when he heard he was going to meet his idol Anthony Munoz. Juanito’s mother Maria wept with joy when she heard Anthony Munoz would be giving them free furniture from Furniture Fair. But instead, they were taken to INS and immediately deported, so they could enjoy Christmas at home in Mexico where they really belonged. The entire Rameriz family was grateful to the Seediest Kids of All, but was really you they have to thank, because it’s your guilt throughout the year which made it all possible.
More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans
Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our January fund-raising drive by the Time Warner, whose Business Class Technicians are still looking for the cause of our “Temporary Service Interruption” since Monday afternoon and are really, really sorry for the inconvenience.
POST-PARTY DEPRESSION HOT LINE
e-mail us something today to try to cheer us up
Some really depressing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally really depressing subscribers.
Whistleblower Link of the Day
So God Made A Liberal…
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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